Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › I need to escape!!!
Tagged: clarity, knowing, power, understanding
This topic contains 93 replies, has 33 voices, and was last updated by 
Anonymous 3 years ago.
- AuthorPosts
Thanks but do you think I should get my own lawyer?
yes, very much so…
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
pZ1$ – This is going to sound very ‘New Agey’ but bear with me. Sex is an energy. Women have known this forever and they utilise our sexual energy for their own purposes and gain. They do this by either enabling the release of the energy or by damming the energy and allowing it to increase in pressure. Both are effective although the ‘damming’ is incredibly cruel. When my former wife pulled this stunt I found myself unable to focus on ANYTHING other than sex. I did the silliest things. It broke my heart. And then I somehow refocused that sexual energy (and it wasn’t easy and I’m still not too sure how I did it so I can’t advise – I think I just quit on her) but if you can use that energy, focus it, on what you need right now – training/a job/opportunities – it will give you a mighty push in the right direction. Once you get going, momentum takes over and you keep going. Maybe she’ll decide to again have sex with you. Maybe someone else will. Personally, once a woman has pulled that stunt on me I won’t give her another chance to play the same game. But that’s your (future) choice. Use that energy!
WarHar I agree with you 100%!!! Sex is an energy and my wife KNOWS she is messing me up by depriving me of it! And she knows that she enjoys it after I go down on her! Therefore, there must be some ulterior motive behind her constant rejection. It’s been 4 months! But it’s always been like this! This is just a few months longer than usual. Perhaps she wants to sabotage our marriage! Perhaps she is getting it somewhere else? Perhaps she just doesn’t give a f~~~! WarHar you are right on in that I must take this sexual energy and focus it on the rest of my life! Napoleon Hill called that Sexual Transmutation in his book Think and Grow Rich. I’m trying to do that. I have a ways to go. I keep on giving in to certain temptations. 😉 🙁 But I will get there. How dare my wife do this to me? HOW DARE SHE!
30
Anonymous42How dare my wife do this to me? HOW DARE SHE!
Hey PZ, don’t let it anger you, just accept it, swallow it, and move on. She’ll NEVER be happy, no matter who she’s with; on the other hand, you’ll gain happiness and serenity. You’ll be stronger in the end……
How dare my wife do this to me? HOW DARE SHE!
Hey PZ, don’t let it anger you, just accept it, swallow it, and move on. She’ll NEVER be happy, no matter who she’s with; on the other hand, you’ll gain happiness and serenity. You’ll be stronger in the end……
Hi MG-Tower, thank you for the reassurance. I believe you are right. You know, I was thinking just now… when we were engaged she started with her controlling s~~~ by criticizing the way I spent money. I had a good job at the time. She would say “don’t spend so much, your money is my money…” LOL Unreal! Yes, I will not be mad. I will just move on.
83
Anonymous42Hey PZ, the only one that should be “controlling” you, is YOU! Men make lousy remote control drones, women on the other hand need to be controlled, only because they’re out of control… I’m glad you’re hanging around here and waking up to the fresh aroma of a good cup of MGTOW coffee….Goes great with red pills!
Hey PZ, don’t let it anger you, just accept it, swallow it, and move on. She’ll NEVER be happy, no matter who she’s with; on the other hand, you’ll gain happiness and serenity. You’ll be stronger in the end……
Gotta agree with MGTOW-er here. Most of the married guys I know shrug their shoulders almost daily at their wives continual plans to buy a bigger house, buy a different car, send the kids to public school, send the kids to private school, p~~~ed at hubby for not making enough to keep her dreams alive, p~~~ed about him wanting sex, p~~~ed that he doesn’t show her enough affection….. Their wives are always unhappy, unsatisfied, and looking for something to bring them a contentment that can never be attained.
You are better off without her. May not feel like it now, but in the long run your life will get much better….maybe not always easy, but easier than what you are dealing with now.
Hey PZ1,
Like you, I’m in my 50’s. Got divorced at 46. Just beginning to recover financially. Here’s my two cents and what I did:
I made a list of everything wrong with the wife and marriage. I then determined the financial consequences using an Excel spreadsheet. I even made a down select matrix to help me decide whether or not I should divorce, and when I should divorce. Having written things down helped prevent me from repeating the same arguments going through my head along with the same emotions.
Once I decided to divorce, I made copies of every single financial record including all past tax returns.
I then opened up an account and transferred my half of money into it, and I stopped all electronic deposits from work going into the joint account. I canceled Credit Cards, secured all of my guns and things that were precious to me by putting them in storage and at friends and relatives. I had itemized all items of value in the house, made printouts of pretty much everything then I sat down with the wife at a table.
And told her that I am going to divorce her. And that there is a choice to be made: either we can agree between each other on dividing up the shared property and assets or we can fight and go to court in which case we both lose a lot of money in legal fees.
Just to make a point – I then pointed at a coffee table and asked her how much she thought it was worth. Then I asked her at $300 dollars per hour billing rate for an Attorney, how much time should be spent arguing over that possession…
We ended up spending several hours calmly dividing up assets, whenever it appeared that she was about to start a fight I reminded her that if it went to court she was going to have less money in her pocket.
Once we reached a deal…we both went to an attorney and had him draw up legal documents and file the paperwork.
She moved out 1 month later, I had to refinance and take cash out to buy her out of the house. Neither of us wanted the house at the time since the market was in free fall. I told her the only way I could afford the new mortgage payments were if she were to waive her right to Alimony. But with the value of the house falling everyday, she knew it was a losing proposition to put it on the market. So I took it in the shorts over the short run. I also negotiated with her to waive any claim she had on my retirement account.
Financial recovery has been slow..it took me approximately 7 years after the divorce. I am just now getting close to where I was financially before the divorce.
In short: you can survive this. If you have no job and few assets so much the better. The person with the least amount of money wins in Divorce court.
Make a plan with a list of things you need to do then execute it.
Once divorced you can focus on rebuilding your life and as late as it is…start trying to put something away for retirement. And consider retiring in a cheap country to live in like Ecuador or the Philippines or Vietnam.
Anonymous42@ Batcave, your formula for success in 8 short lines, is the best I’ve seen to date! +1
MY SUCCESS FORMULA…
- Career path: Programmer, software, database.
- Return to school, seek funding from many sources.
- Buy USED BOOKS off of Amazon… C#, SQL Server, ASP.net, web.
- Cancel TV, take the savings to fund books.
- Read your ass off and hammer at code and get good.
- Five years later, you might break 100k with benefits.
- Think longterm.
- Swear off women for three years.
BatCave great list! I have tried programming and found it to be very challenging, maybe too challenging. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to get more of it (at least coding), under my belt. Having the bulls~~~ excuse of ADHD, is a problem. I can’t deny that I don’t have it, especially since I have formerly been diagnosed wit it. But you are right! Turning off the TV and focusing on my goal is key! Being in my mid 50s is a little scary. But I still have years ahead of me. And s~~~, I have a lot of skills under my belt already! And I have a degree! So time to work and succeed!
RealityBites, great response. I appreciate your feedback. It’s time for me to make those copies.
135137139
Anonymous42I have enough skills under my belt in botany to write my own book! I learned how to mix fertilizer by reading my ass off and practical application, all my skills were derived from reading. Can I remember it all? Hell no! but I know where to look to refresh my memory.
There are so many mathematical formulas that interconnect, it’s amazing! Starting off as machinist, gave me the ability to understand fractions and geometric calculations (blueprint reading and writing) that contributed to help in mathematical chemical compound ratios needed in the mixing of fertilizer. My brother is my partner in this endeavor, doing it alone would have been impossible. We needed each other to interpret what neither of us could understand. I was stupid when I started, I was a brown thumb, not a green thumb. My experience in watershed management and lake biology contributed to this endeavor.
Reading instead of watching Stupid Vision (TV) has made my life much more tolerable. Not only that, I also read about slaughtering animals and proper handling of food stuffs, refrigeration and cross contamination … I purchased some goats with the intent of eating them, but I became attached instead, and could not slaughter them, they were too friendly. However I did slaughter an injured snapping turtle and made snapping turtle soup, everyone that was brave enough to try it, loved it, the whole pot was gone in a couple if days.
The Carsmashians on television is about as stupid as it gets!
I like MGTOW.com because it’s full of enlightenment on my brand of thinking….
Birds of a feather flock together! I’m among eagles here, not chickens!
Reading instead of watching Stupid Vision (TV) has made my life much more tolerable.
Hear, hear!
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
I agree with RealityBitesWrite out your plan and work toward your goals everyday. Over time the answer will come to you.I changed my think from what are other people going to think to “F~~~ you”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=013rp5Z-5×0I may not have 2.5 million dollars but I am happy and moving forward each day.Stop laying around , feeling sorry for yourself and LETS DO IT!!!!@tony Baloney, Do you suppose her dad’s got a conflict of interest here? they are wealthy and frugal and… THEY ARE HER PARENTS.
Also Usually the one with less $$ will do better via NOT mediation.
At least go to a couple of attorneys for a one hour.
A private detective, although not appreciated by the atty, can be a REAL eye opener, providing substantial leverage in the case.
When the crap hits the fan, you have to force yourself to think in terms of the big numbers.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
I think you’re a little on the extreme, CaptainSol, but only barely. MGTOW is about re-prioritizing your life, first and foremost. Women of quality warrant attention, but not at the expense of leaving everything else in the dust. Take up a hobby, hang with friends, make time for yourself first, and and if her path and yours are going the same way, fine. If not, carry on without her. Someone once told me that there are only 3 things you can control in life: What you say, what you do, and what you think. Make sure those are focused right, and you’ll be good.
Great advice! Thanks. It’s been months since we have been together. Months! I refuse to ask! I suppose I can get it if I ask nicely. But why bother? After all, she doesn’t desire me. This is bulls~~~. Hey Big Weasel did you see the photo that went viral of a weasel on a bird’s back that came out the other day?
30First off you NEVER ask for sex. You are the man you initiate sex but you never “ask her for sex” EVER
I’m living in the basement and it doesn’t seems like she cares.
My wife has been threatening divorce since one month after marrying me. It’s been 7.5 years now. We have a 5 yr old girl and 4 month old boy. I’m not sure what to do about the divorce. She makes about 100k a yr and I make 45k. Just bought a new house 6 months ago. Her wealthy but frugal parents suggested a mediator instead of both getting lawyers. I don’t want to get f~~~ed out of a decent place to live and certainly doubt she’d agree in mediation to pay alimony but that’s what I want her to do. We don’t have any savings. I’m bad with money but she’s just as bad. Her dad owns the house and we pay mortgage to him. I basically been tricked into dependency on her and her family. What’s the best way out? Get apartment then divorce or vice versa? I’ve got a good mindset because I’m ready for the future I just don’t want to make too many more mistakes. Will I have to go into debt for getting a lawyer? Thanks to all of you
A mediator is basically going to help you craft your divorce or separation agreement. Since she makes significantly more than you, you can and SHOULD request alimony. Since you have kids you WILL pay child support I know that seems outrageous but that’s how badly the system is stacked against you as a man. This is why you MUST, MUST, MUST insist on alimony. Typically alimony will be paid for about 1/2 of the duration of the marriage (for those married longer than 5 years)
She wont have much say in agreeing to Alimony. Court will require it unless you waive it. Remember She WILL get Child support money from you from not until both kids graduate high school. It can be reviewed and upped as you make more money too. If your credit is not wrecked you need to find a place to live and you need to move out because you aren’t going to be able to pay the mortgage on your home. Since her parents hold the note, they are not going to throw out their daughter and their grand-kids.
Since her parents are talking about going to mediators they are supporting her decision to dump you. Deal with it, move out and start the healing process. Remember, you are entitled to half of EVERYTHING that was acquired during the marriage and that includes any equity that may exist in the home. If your credit is not completely wrecked find a condo to buy and if your finances are a mess then file after you are moved out….
For the sake of your kids I’d say stay. It may be bad now but it can get better. Look for jobs and take whatever you can. You gone = massive gaping hole over your kids and they can get nuked by life.
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi
I am staying in the house until it is sold. The original plan was for me to move out in January and her to buy me out. That never happened. My XW had her parents buy her another house. Staying in the house will give you leverage but it must be done careful. The last thing you need is to end up in jail over some BS accusation.
Update. I got a pretty good job a while back. It doesn’t pray as much as I should be making but the job is pretty good.
How does a H deal with disrespect from a W?
Update. I got a pretty good job a while back. It doesn’t pray as much as I should be making but the job is pretty good. How does a H deal with disrespect from a W?
You dont. When you respond to negative, it reinforces negative.
I just scanned the last 4 pages, and have some advice for you; so you know some of what I believe and breathe may sound like more “new age” nonsense, but it isnt, its very old wisdom from many mystics and pioneers in spirituality and the like.
First off I would like to congratulate you on your new success on the sweet new job, you need to hold that thought in your mind like a precious gem your are protecting from pirates (in this case, the pirates are women)
Whenever situations get negative, or she trys to manipulate, or bring your down. Pull that gem from your mind and focus on that positive feeling it provides. You have the internet, look up “transmutation” and better yet look up the Emerald tablet by Hermes, and dive deep for a new world.
So I notice that in a lot of your postings you most certainly have no self worth, and are hanging onto a thread of confidence. That needs to change.
Repeat empowering mantras in your head, create small goals and conquer them one at a time to begin laying the stonework for the mental, spiritual, physical rebuild.
I most certainly dont think you should stay in the relationship for the kid. You have a right to happiness and respect also, and if your always put down and brought down, your parenting will reflect.
I do however think that up and leaving with no real money or housing, etc..etc is not a good idea. The best time to leave is when she doesnt see it coming, use the situation to your advantage. Im sure she used you enough and wont mind repaying the favor back…right?
Your power comes from within, internally and never external. If you feel powerless, it is because of you. But no fret, you can build that back up.
Never forget, just keep socking away some cash, smiling politely and keeping everything nice and neat and like nothings the matter. This will also f~~~ her up a bit, and will create a effect of “aloofness” she will feel compelled to ask your motive, and just reply “Im building the strongest version of me” or something a long the way.
I know its crazy, but also try not ejaculate; many cultures look to the mans semen as a power source. I personally believe it is also. Read up on Steve Jobs, he also believed this.
It can be hard “no pun intended, lol” at times, but convert that horny feeling into physical exercise. This will help you in the physical confidence section. Holding it back also creates a magnet like effect, do it for a few weeks and watch how people react to you.
Learn meditation, or practice more. Long walks are great clearing tools also.
These are all just a few little tid bits of my personal knowledge base of esoteric beliefs, and by all means make the decision that YOU want to make. After all; you are the one in power.
Id like to leave you with a quote from Bruce Lee
” Balance your thoughts with action. If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”
- AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
921526
921524
919244
916783
915526
915524
915354
915129
914037
909862
908811
908810
908500
908465
908464
908300
907963
907895
907477
902002
901301
901106
901105
901104
901024
901017
900393
900392
900391
900390
899038
898980
896844
896798
896797
895983
895850
895848
893740
893036
891671
891670
891336
891017
890865
889894
889741
889058
888157
887960
887768
886321
886306
885519
884948
883951
881340
881339
880491
878671
878351
877678
