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RegularJough 3 years, 5 months ago.
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Turning my back on my gut and intuition enough to believe something that while I can’t prove it, must be a lie?
Count me out.
Here is something that might help you. If she had a big history of being a pathological liar when you even knew for sure that she was even lying to you in the past at all, that alone can help you give you a better judgement in knowing if she is even lying to you now, since at least you would know that she is capable of lying through her teeth.
but my new apartment is like 400yrds from my ex’s apartment.
Now did you really have to live near her like that? As long as you are okay with it.
"Question everything" - Albert Einstein
Anonymous42You end up living with a fat zombie wife.
Hey Stealthy, you forgot to mention the sausage fingers!
Can you all guess the color?
Ummmmm,,,,Red?
He’s just a young kid, and the couch “belonged” to his girlfriend, so I got the floor.
Sounds your brother should s~~~-can the girlfriend for not treating her boyfriends brother like a king! Some ratty s~~~ hole sofa has more value than a man, typical narcissistic shallow modern day c~~~! After your brother gets f~~~ed, send him our way…
but my new apartment is like 400yrds from my ex’s apartment.
Now did you really have to live near her like that? As long as you are okay with it.
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Kinda.
The reason I was on my brothers floor for months was because I couldn’t find ANY place in my kids school district. Buses and other logistics would have caused more havoc than it would be worth.
My ex mother-in-law was kind enough to hook me up with the landlord of this place. It’s a small town, I’d be close no matter what. In any case, it really is great for the kids. They like it here with me much more than being with their mother.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
I’ll be keeping this thread up to date on ANY issues that come up.
Even just having an outlet like this with like-minded men is enough to raise my spirits ten fold.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
I hear ya. Not waking up next to bae in the mornings can f~~~ing suck…
But you start to see the bright side of things. No more arguing, no drama..just you and your to do list and hobbies.
I used to think people need a woman in their lives just to have fun, like “batteries” (I like that analogy). But the truth is that I started doing things alone.
I’ve always been insecure about being alone, but I decided F~~~ that, I’m not living my life like this, I’m not going to dedicate any more of my resources trying to chase women which is ultimately futile. So much mindf~~~ery and drama and depression associated with those times…I’m doing me from now on, til the day I die.
So I’ve just been soloing it. Even without my friends, who I love very much. I go with them to their soccer games and hang out every week or so, but when it comes to stuff I want to do personally, I dont wait for their response. You learn to find peace in solitude..you can do anything you want without worrying what your friends might think, having to maintain conversation, let alone a girlfriend.
Any non MGTOW even will tell you this: When you find out how to be happy on your own, a lot of good things happen, and women will start to take notice. That’s when you need to tell them to suck your dick and then stay the f~~~ away. Or maybe they wont pay attention to you after all. Which is a good thing in its own right.
I’m going backpacking this Friday, for the first time, completely solo. Gonna be so f~~~ing peaceful, I cant wait.
Brother, we need to stick together.
Anonymous0Welcome to the awakening. You may feel like drifting back into the bliss of ignorance but my friend you have woken and now you must awaken.
One step at a time.
I humbly share with you the steps i have taken as I know they are the right steps for me.
I found this place. I read.
I read ‘the manipulated man’ I read ‘the myth of male power’, I read many others.
I rested.
I reflected.
I decided to investigated doorways I was hearing about.
The door of PUA
I read ‘the rational male’.Indeed these texts are reforming my whole Psyche. My essence is changing.
Its taking time. I need time. Its taken my whole life to get to this point. Now I am understanding. This brings more change.
My friend I urge you to read.
Good luck!RedPillBible, I forgot a key part of her asking me.
She used her passive-aggressive technique when she asked.
She said “I’m sure I know what your answer is, but is there any chance you could look at/fix my car?”
That’s the exact text, I copied and pasted it. So, I called her out on the passive aggressive s~~~ and it was all ??? And stuff like, “I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore….” I let that stuff slide for years and years, and only during the time in between the two seperation did I call her out on each time she talked or treated me like this. It was agony trying to explain (to someone who clearly had no thoughts about how I could be feeling) how she was making me feel negative. This was explained away that it was all in my head, that I was only up set that I took it that way and then I was told, yes TOLD, how to feel. I was told my own thoughts were wrong, my memories were unreliable and my feelings were never as important as hers. No matter the subject, if it was something about me, it turned into something about her.
Although it’s a long, almost pointless story, I’ll post it later, because it really hits home what kind of situation I was in. The story was ultimately wrapped up on our last marriage counseling visit where I told the story, gave my thoughts on the subject, and my wife acted exactly how I predicted moments before.
The Male counselor was shocked, to say the least. The look in his eyes… Like he was watching a plane crash in slow motion.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
Anonymous0My ex got a diagnosed by a professional with psychopathy. There is a checklist available on the net. My spath scores well into the 30’s with my armchair diagnosis. The more I awaken, the more cluster B I see In so many women out there.
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3405700188.html
Anonymous42I used to think people need a woman in their lives just to have fun, like “batteries” (I like that analogy). But the truth is that I started doing things alone.
Hey Young, they were like batteries long before any of us or our grandparents were born. Back in 1968 an old woman lived on the route I took to school(I never saw her), she was said to be 113 years old at the time, she was born just before men lost the right to their children under HIS sir-name, after the 1860s men lost their right to what was CLEARLY named as HIS property, trading his labor for his offspring and the woman was free to leave at any time.
Now the women “own” the children along with 18 years child support and half your material worth.
Back then there was no calamity when a woman chose to leave a family, the family was his and she had a little more rights than the children, but no right to the children or any of his stuff. She was gracefully relieved of her duty and free to start a new life somewhere else.
What’s the deal today? RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, DON’T LOOK BACK, YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!
Hey feminism, that rumbling you feel under your feet is the foundation of society you obliterated going straight to hell!
You feminists shouldn’t be so frightened about MGTOW as if we’re your mortal enemy, this is YOUR baby, your family, your ideas, your actions, your intentions, and your world you’re driving straight to living hell!
Yup, those are flames outside your window sweetie, you poured the gas, you light the match! This is your fire, your problem, your outcome, your decision, and ultimately YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, something until now you shed so well.
You’re like bullfrog in the middle of a bucket swimming in gas! It’s YOUR predicament YOU created, all we can say is Good Luck!
Another day almost over and I have a few things to report.
One, part of my brain still does not realize my marriage is over, so it continues to remind me to feel hurt about my ex getting some fresh meat from the butcher. I was fishing this evening and talked with myself out loud, telling myself that this doesn’t effect me anymore and my ego doesn’t need to feel hurt by her actions. I’m getting better at control emotions I’ve never had to control before.
On my way back to my car, I get a text from a chick looking to “celebrate” a new job. At first I was excited about the posibilities, but now I’m slowing down for a moment to gather my thoughts and to think if it’s actually worth any of my time to go to her house tonight. She’s not a date, not a girlfriend, not anything, so it would just be a screw. I’m thinking this won’t be of any benefit to me, just something to suck up my time….
I had a story I wanted to share with you guys and I’ll write it later. But for now, I just wanted to say I got all the divorce paperwork today, called and scheduled my parenting class (which is required in my state), and then on to bigger things….. I booked my first sky diving trip for this Thursday! I already took Thursday off from work, paid for the dive and I’ll be there bright and early.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
On my way back to my car, I get a text from a chick looking to “celebrate” a new job. At first I was excited about the posibilities, but now I’m slowing down for a moment to gather my thoughts and to think if it’s actually worth any of my time to go to her house tonight. She’s not a date, not a girlfriend, not anything, so it would just be a screw. I’m thinking this won’t be of any benefit to me, just something to suck up my time….
and money. 250K++ to raise a child to adulthood.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
On my way back to my car, I get a text from a chick looking to “celebrate” a new job. At first I was excited about the posibilities, but now I’m slowing down for a moment to gather my thoughts and to think if it’s actually worth any of my time to go to her house tonight. She’s not a date, not a girlfriend, not anything, so it would just be a screw. I’m thinking this won’t be of any benefit to me, just something to suck up my time….
and money. 250K++ to raise a child to adulthood.
Not even an issue. Got a vesectomy at age 25.
However, I didn’t go there. I instantly found something else to do. I tattooed a red pill on my left hand. It’s now my medicine, and I’m taking it hourly.
I’m still grappling with thoughts of my ex having a new man, still struggling with being ok with being ok by myself.
Tomorrow morning, at 10am, I’m jumping out of a plane at 13000 feet. I’m pretty excited, but I’m still in a rut with the portion of my head that wants a female around.
It’s getting better, but I think the longer I go, the less I’ll ever want a girl again.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
Back to the alone part…
I’m alone at work for 8-10 hours, hardly speak to anyone. Then, I’m alone when I get home, and I have no friends to even get in contact with to do anything.
I don’t drink or use drugs, so no bars, and I’ve never maintained a circle of friends that use and buy drugs from each other.
I’m struggling with the idea that the rest of my life can actually be filled with hobbies and work and kids. My two girls are 12 and 14, so they’ll be gone before I know it.
I’ve gone fishing to a new spot every chance I get, been out metal detecting too.
It’s like the blue pill is asking me back, BEGGING me back. Like…. Yesterday when I was fishing, I happened to walk up on two lesbians swimming in the river, both with no tops on, making out and clearly keeping their hands busy underwater. Even when they saw me, it didn’t stop. I walked past them and continued fishing. Maybe 30yrds away, behind me, a dog barks, so I turn to see an attractive blonde walk out and proceed to strip down naked and take a swim. No modesty, no rush. I turned my back and continued fishing.
Should my new mantra be, “I turned my back and continued fishing…”?
Shit tested, Brother approved.
@regularjough: Welcome to MGTOW! I wanted to share that I am also going through divorce. I initiated it over a month ago. I can guarantee you the only reason you are so down is because you were too dependent on a woman for happiness. You were conditioned for this and didn’t even know it. I went through similar stages in my marriage as well. Women don’t want any f~~~ing competition with them being numero uno. Good friends? They had to go. Family? They all weren’t good enough for my time but she was. Going out and doing things without her? Yeah, that was a huge problem. I broke out of all those spells many years ago and took back my life. So, unlike you, I am in a much better place regarding independence. You never want to be in a position where you feel defined by female validation or activity. PM if you need someone to talk to. We are essentially going through this adventure together.
@regularjough: Welcome to MGTOW! I wanted to share that I am also going through divorce. I initiated it over a month ago. I can guarantee you the only reason you are so down is because you were too dependent on a woman for happiness. You were conditioned for this and didn’t even know it. I went through similar stages in my marriage as well. Women don’t want any f~~~ing competition with them being numero uno. Good friends? They had to go. Family? They all weren’t good enough for my time but she was. Going out and doing things without her? Yeah, that was a huge problem. I broke out of all those spells many years ago and took back my life. So, unlike you, I am in a much better place regarding independence. You never want to be in a position where you feel defined by female validation or activity. PM if you need someone to talk to. We are essentially going through this adventure together.
Well, you just summed up my last 15 years.
Thanks. Maybe I’ll reach out to you.
At the moment, I’m keeping my self in check by keeping my hands busy.
To be honest and forthcoming, I tried watching some porn yesterday. After a few moments, my head was flooded with thoughts of my ex and her doings, and I almost had to throw away my phone. I closed up the porn and grab my boots and went fishing. I had to.
I feel like if you looked in from the outside, that I am independent and ok being alone, I’ve always been a loner and I keep myself busy, but it just feels off right now.
I think your right, I’ve grown accustomed to seeking female validation, and I need to break that habit RIGHT NOW.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
To be honest and forthcoming, I tried watching some porn yesterday. After a few moments, my head was flooded with thoughts of my ex and her doings, and I almost had to throw away my phone. I closed up the porn and grab my boots and went fishing. I had to.
My wife had an online affair five years ago. It will take you quite awhile to get over this. I read a book called “Not Just Friends.” It was a great read. Short story is that it is never your fault for this kind of s~~~. Women like having the upper hand of tree-branching, so their ass is not the dumpee in your shoes now. They like to be on the other end of being a shattered soul. They are bitter as f~~~ when they aren’t.
I think your right, I’ve grown accustomed to seeking female validation, and I need to break that habit RIGHT NOW.
Listen, I understand. I would be considered a Chad by most standards, but it doesn’t matter. I chased ass and white-knighted also. I can assure you the need for female validation stemmed from my mother being a cold, distant bitch when I was growing up. Once you examine your life and your motives for certain things, everything becomes clear to you. I still like females and appreciate their beauty, but I am strong enough now to realize I don’t need them or care what they think of me as I did before.
Back to the alone part…
I’m alone at work for 8-10 hours, hardly speak to anyone. Then, I’m alone when I get home, and I have no friends to even get in contact with to do anything.
I don’t drink or use drugs, so no bars, and I’ve never maintained a circle of friends that use and buy drugs from each other.
I’m struggling with the idea that the rest of my life can actually be filled with hobbies and work and kids. My two girls are 12 and 14, so they’ll be gone before I know it.
I’ve gone fishing to a new spot every chance I get, been out metal detecting too.
It’s like the blue pill is asking me back, BEGGING me back. Like…. Yesterday when I was fishing, I happened to walk up on two lesbians swimming in the river, both with no tops on, making out and clearly keeping their hands busy underwater. Even when they saw me, it didn’t stop. I walked past them and continued fishing. Maybe 30yrds away, behind me, a dog barks, so I turn to see an attractive blonde walk out and proceed to strip down naked and take a swim. No modesty, no rush. I turned my back and continued fishing.
Should my new mantra be, “I turned my back and continued fishing…”?
Mate ,I hear you on this.
Weathering the storm currently ,about 6 weeks in to getting over being stabbed in the back and having my heart ripped out and dumped on the floor.
I feel your loneliness.I am in the same boat.No friends that are really close , I dont drink hate the nightclubs etc,hard time seeing the future of where to go and what to do , trying to keep busy even though I’m currently out of work ,trying not to keep seeing the images in my head of my ex and her new f~~~boy.Thought I had a chance to get the blue pill back and go back into my slumber and be potentially happy.Realised it is never going to happen and working at looking forward to my freedom. Knowing everything has fallen down and going to lose everything I have worked hard for 20 years to build up and maintain.Its no fun starting over that’s for sure,but take strength from the fact that you are not alone ,that there is many of out here going through what you are at the same time ,some of us are talking ,some of us are just suffering in silence trying to make sense of it all. Its a weird feeling that is there, thinking that you are going to be alone ,or possibly never feel the kind of happy and contentment that you once had,I know it … I am pretty lost and broken from it.
there is no sense to it,we have no control over the choices the stupid sluts make.Only over the choices we make to work towards a happy and eventful life .You will always have your daughters,they will always be yours,just like I have my sons ,they will always be my blood,no matter where we are on the planet .If you feel alone ,try looking at a new team sport, a new hobby or volunteering somewhere near where you live.Volunteer at a soup kitchen ,bush-fire brigade anything that will get you out and talking to people and keeping your hands and mind active.You can go to a bar,its allowed.Drink a coke if you dont want a beer.Shoot some pool ,meet some new people .Get on a fishing forum and talk to other fishermen.
The main thing is finding yourself in all of this ,and what makes you happy.If the blue pill is what makes you happy ,then so be it …..If not and you are in hell,then keep going ,you will come out the other side a better person .Fed, Fucked, Appreciated. The three simple things men want, but women will never grasp.
Just a couple words of advice. I’ve been divorced about 6 years or so now. Have two kids, live close to my ex who’s remarried. somewhat similar to your situation.
All that pain and loneliness will pass with time. Fishing seems like a really good way to deal with it. One thought that always helped me was to realized the fact that it hurt so much was validation that I did love her and put all I had in to it. Something to be proud of, despite it all.
Mentally, my ex is completely gone, as if she passed away. Yes, there is a woman out there that looks and acts like her, but it is not the same person to me.
Learn and practice speaking to your ex without emotion. Follow logic only. As you’ve seen, she will still try and use your utility from time to time, and that won’t go away completely. No need to be mean.
:female: Can you give me money to pay for the band instrument?
:male: I pay child support payments to fund these expenses.
:female: but this is extra!
:male: Not according to the divorce decree
:female: I’m going to ask new hubby for the money.
:male: ok.:female: I don’t understand why we can’t be friends.
:male: We are divorced. It’s a naturally antagonistic relationship. The fact that I don’t want to be friends with you is not personal, just reality.This will be much more effective, frustrating for her, while enforcing good behavior on her part.
Next, I personally have never fully gotten rid of emotional reactions to my ex being with another guy. I still don’t want to see them together, I don’t want my kids to talk about them, etc. But you learn to live with it. My ex’s new husband actually works out at the same gym…which is great motivation on the days. It’s not logical since I don’t want her, but it’s still there. whatever.
Ok. Then do it.
Thank you.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed to my personal growth. The red pills are going down fast at this point, and it’s good to hear that what I’m thinking and feeling is normal, and while it might not really go away, I’ll develop new ways of dealing and handling my thoughts and emotions.
Update on me-
Parenting classes scheduled and paid for.
Paper work for her to take half of 401k and get her car tax free in her name, 90% done.
Plus, a lot more. I’m making gains on this everyday. One day soon, this chapter will be over AND I CAN NOT WAIT.
Shit tested, Brother approved.
Hey gentlemen.
My name is Joe. Newly seperated (again) and I think I’m dropping the divorce papers Monday.
Here’s my issues. I can’t get laid, while my ex has a new dude who she’s sleeping with. Kills me.
I saw a few girls in the last few months, never managed to get laid. I’m young, 34, been married 15 years, two kids, 12 and 14. I have no friends, no one to talk to, nothing much to do when my kids aren’t around.
Yesterday was a bad day for me, I felt really low and I found out from my ex that she has a boyfriend now.
I could go on about all the other stresses I’ve had just from talking and seeing other girls since we split, but I think you guys probably already know all about it.
My logical brain knows that women are the cause of my stress, yet I can’t shake the feelings about wanting to get laid. My kids will be gone all next week, so I’ll be alone again and I just don’t know what to do with myself.
I think I might go skydiving, but I fear it might just be empty without someone else. I’ve always been a loner, never really had a friend except my wife, and without her, I’m just lost. I went to every public school in my area growing up, dropped out of HS and later joined the military. Being back for the last ten years, I moved to an empty town where I was with my family in a brand new house, in the middle of the woods. So, I’ve yet to, in 34 years of being alive, made anything that I would even call a friend.
It’s the strangest thing, I don’t need a woman for anything except getting laid. But, I suppose I can handle that myself, but it’s like the one real drive I have and I’m struggling hard with it.
Does anyone have any advice? I’ve read so much on here, I knew I had to get some of my story on here, because I know other guys found themselves in the same boat before or right now, and me and them could use help.
I have hobbies, but stuff feels so empty. It’s like a woman is a the batteries to all my hobbies and positive stuff, and without a chick, things are just too boring….
Any tips?
Jough, I understand the frustration and concern. I’ve struggled in my life during periods of being alone, falling into depression and struggling deeply. Let me warn you, I’m new to MGTOW so take my advice cautiously as I am learning my way as well. I think you’re on the right track with the divorce if she already is with someone else. I’m not sure where you are living, but get out, do things, even if money is tight. Hike, visit parks, find something you enjoy doing and then seek out others who do as well. Avoid women for now. Search yourself for why you need ‘laid’. It likely isn’t the physical thing you are looking for, it is likely intimacy which you have been missing for a long time. My wife, who I am still with, is my only friend right now. I abandoned my friends to be with her. I had a long term best friend who is still there for me if I move back to where I began, but he is over 8 hours away now and doing things together is out of the question. I don’t even call him due to my abandoning him.
There are groups online with no pressure to form relationships, where you can just meet up due to similar interests, and I’ve heard they are good sources to find people with similar interests (meetup.com has a number of non-dating groups to meet with). You’re young, have a lot of life left to go for ‘getting laid’ and don’t pressure yourself so much for it (I know, easy to say). Find other outlets… and if ‘getting laid’ is your only driver and thing you can see being of any release… get a part time job to earn enough for a trip to Reno… rent a cheap hotel and drive to the bunny ranch. A couple hundred will take care of the ‘laid’ issue.
I’ve been researching sites like MGTOW for a while now, and keeping your mind active and not bored will help. Reading, researching, focusing on things you like to do, all will help.
I know it is rough, but you could be in a miserable relationship and still not be getting laid.
Good Luck! The gentlemen here all seem to be willing to help with advice too… many of them have already broken free and appear to have had great success…
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
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