Haven't dated in 40 years

[SwimcatParticipant 3589]

I’m glad I found this site. I can discuss things here with some annomity that I’m not able to do with people I know. I’ve read these many tales of divorce sorrow and for better or worse I have been fortunate enough to have never suffered that misery. But the title is right. I haven’t dated in 40 years. I met my wife my at age 18, my freshman year of college, married her at age 21 and was married to her 40 years. ( Yes marriages sometimes last a lifetime) 2 years ago she was diagnosed with a brain tumor and passed away last October. So I’m am widowed. Please, I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m all cried out, I’ve been through all the stages of mourning, and its time to move on.

I still live in the house where my 3 children grew up. My two older kids live close by and are both married. My youngest daughter is a doctor in the military and lives in California. My wifes life insurance paid off the house, I have her pension for life, and I have saved more than enough money to not only last me the rest of my life, but I should be able to leave plenty to my kids. I’m still working. I am one of the top sales agents in my company, so I’ve made a good income for several years. However, I plan to retire in 3 years and winter in the south.

So here’s the situation. I had always heard but never experienced that single women have an intelligence network that puts the CIA to shame. Guess what guys.ITS TRUE. I have no idea how the word got out, but my poor wife was hardly cold before I started hearing from her friends, her college soroity sisters, and half the women in my office. All on the pretense of sympathy, but they made their intentions clear. My office employs about 1000 people and about 80 percent are young females. What amazed me was how many Africian American women, younger than my daughter, were coming up to my desk to introduce themselves. Asking me to have lunch with them , and what I was doing over the weekend. My boss is a AA female and she has told more than one them to get lost.

Last January I went on a two week Caribbean cruise alone. Didn’t take long to realize I was one of about 5 single men among about 500 single women. I’ll save that story for another day. I made the mistake of registering on a web site called Sugar Sugar, and my email lit up like the fourth of July. Young girls, barely out of high school! Needless to say i didn’t answer any of them. I belong to a Country Club and there are single women there I could date and they would bring much more to the table than any of the young ones, but that would involve blending familes, money complications, and whole lot of baggage.

Like I said I’m on all new ground here. I never dated as an adult. I liked my life as it was but its gone forever. As I see it I have 3 choices.
1. Get a years supply of viagra and wear out my d*** out banging young women. I wouldn’t have to worry about knocking up one of them. I had a vasectomy years ago. Obviously they are after my money and I’m treading on dangerous ground espically at work. My kids would be outraged if I did something like that.
2. Date women my age and financial status. Wouldn’t be bad as long as it doesn’t get permenate and complicated.
3. Go total MGTOW.

What do you guys think?

[Anonymous 18]

Go mgtow. And tell your kids to give you grandkids if you don’t have any.

You will be pulling your hair out (based on what’s left – not saying you are old) dating women after 40 years gap.

The c~~~s will take what belongs to your kids and grandkids. After you are gone.

There is nothing out there other than momentary release of sperm in a vagina.

Hookers for that.

Welcome.

[The Batman 2020Participant 2112]

Your 20's are for learning, your 30's are for earning.

[Anonymous 43]

money money money! Pay for my car loan, I need a car repair I need a new car….Lets go on vacation together Ive never been to paris rome London Vienna Moscow lets to to all the places oh your house could use some freshening up lets look at new curtains carpet paint windows, your furniture is so 1990’s lets go shopping and spruce your place up oh look chrome and glass, wicker and wood and microsuede, you know this is not a good part of town, lets look at new houses, this house feels like your dear departed wife is still here oh look this one is only $599099 and its so close to the beach and the shopping and th nightlife oh lets just go look at it oh your furniture wont do in this kind of house, you need furniture painted white, and look your old car is so old lets look at something more fun, like an Audi convertible, it is so nice and I feel so much safer in this car its more reliable. your convertible is nice but I would like a suv like an audi q whateverit is, you want to keep me save don’t you? oh look at our back yard, it is so plain, as need a walking path, you know a marble walking path so we can walk out and enjoy the sunset, and a pool would be good to, we can swim after dinner and enjoy the day together, and we need a pool house, so we can have a place to change and a place to put a fridge and pool toys and maybe a guest room for when your friends come over and we can string up some pool lights shaped like pineapples and you can have a big built in grill and a stone bar for when your buddies come over, and we need a big screen tv out there so you can watch football or baseball from the hottub, yeah hot tub honey, we could just chill in the hot tub, honey my sister needs help paying her taxes her husband hid money from her and divorced her and she needs $45000 or the irs will put her in jail. oh thank you for saving her you are the best

Just warming you up for what you will hear, because this s~~~’s coming

[Anonymous 54]

They are after your wallet. They go after widowers cause the’re vulnerable. Sorry. Just be careful.

[Anonymous 0]

Swimcat wrote:

[…] Like I said I’m on all new ground here. I never dated as an adult. I liked my life as it was but its gone forever. As I see it I have 3 choices.
1. Get a years supply of viagra and wear out my d*** out banging young women. I wouldn’t have to worry about knocking up one of them. I had a vasectomy years ago. Obviously they are after my money and I’m treading on dangerous ground espically at work. My kids would be outraged if I did something like that.
2. Date women my age and financial status. Wouldn’t be bad as long as it doesn’t get permenate and complicated.
3. Go total MGTOW.

What do you guys think?

Welcome, Swimcat. Sorry to hear about your wife.

I’m 60, divorced, retired. Good dresser, good health, fit, strong. I’m pretty much in the same boat as you. Women everywhere coming on very strong, looking for that meal ticket or that companionship into old age.

I’ve discussed tactics for handling this in other threads with some of the other older posters. Check out this post (as well as the 3 posts immediately following it): /forums/topic/feeling-a-little-out-of-phase/#post-276497

And also this post (and the following 5 or 10 posts): /forums/topic/why-stealthiness-can-be-bad/page/2/#post-279736

Anyway, my quick opinion on the question you asked:
1. Dating young women is easier in many ways than dating older women. If there’s a big age difference, it’s kind of understandable when it doesn’t work out. So break-ups seem to go smoother with a young women.
2. Expect lots of drama with women your own age. They’re more desperate for a man than a younger woman will be, and when you reject them or break up with them they’ll play the “scorned woman” to the hilt.
3. Personally, I go MGTOW. I float around retirement groups, which tend to be run by older women. As I talked about in the links mentioned above, I pretend that I already have a girlfriend in order to stay off the radar screens of the women. But there’s always the option to “break up” with my pretend girlfriend if I find some woman who really stands out. But all in all, I find life much easier when the women just leave me alone (platonic relationships only) and I’m allowed to go my own way.

Welcome to MGTOW! Always glad to see the older guys here!

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Hello Swimcat,

It is exceptional that you were able to survive 40 years of marriage and raising a daughter with your mind, heart, finances, and soul all still in good shape.

However, your introduction suggests that you are still under the influence of “Blue Pill” indoctrination.

And you have NOT disclosed any of your “Red Pills.”
Feel free to add them to your Introduction whenever you are ready.

Swimcat wrote:

3. Go total MGTOW.

What do you guys think?

Going total MGTOW is the smart move.

But, your kindly descriptions of your wife and daughter suggests that you still believe in NAWALTs and are unaccustomed to the harsh negative aspects of “Woman’s Nature.”

You are free to be as stupid as I have been to go ahead and learn for yourself some hard truths about “Women’s Nature.”

The following tips are an insurance policy for any such foolishness which was not available during my “temptations.”

Take some time to read all of the posts on MGTOW,
listen to the talks in the archives,
and watch the recommended videos posted on YouTube.

The Introductions are a good place to start.

If you are crazy enough to go out and search for your next “Unicorn,” you will at least understand what you are getting into and have some strategies for dealing with the trouble you may find in your Relations~~~s.

You may benefit from the things that I recently posted in the “Relations~~~s” section of the Forums called “Hard earned strategies used while engaging the Girlfriend Option.”

The things that happened to me, which I wrote about in a post that I made a year ago, could also happen to you, if you let a woman into your home. This post is in the Relations~~~ section and is called the “Domestic Abuse” machine as an apparatus for men’s enslavement.

Feel free to comment and ask questions in any of the MGTOW posts.

Here is what happens when I tell men about MGTOW wisdom, especially Blue Men:

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Welcome to the MGTOW forums, Swimcat!

Read what may 7 2020 posted above. And then read it again. And again and again. Then print it and tape it to your fridge, because that’s what’s coming for you. Now that I think of it, a guy on Youtube called Terrance Popp did an experiment that showed how hungry women are for a widower. The results caught me totally by surprise. Here’s the video.

Popps’ delivery is a little silly, but don’t let that fool you, the man is full of wisdom.

Have fun kicking around the site and hope to hear more from you soon.

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

Do you want to leave inheritance for your kid or not?

If you get married again your kids will see little of it.

You can enjoy life without getting married or cohabit.

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Enjoyed your intro, and not because I “enjoyed” it, but because it was good, potent, humane , and you presented us with a puzzle to solve. Your 40 years of marriage is truly monumental by todays’ standards.

Swimcat wrote:

I had always heard but never experienced that single women have an intelligence network that puts the CIA to shame. Guess what guys.ITS TRUE

Well put.

Getting straight to your conundrum….. you already understand that women see you as a “utility” and seem to have NO moral compass when it comes to going in for the kill. Like vultures. A woman would flirt at a funeral. I have seen it myself.

But if “getting the bang” while there is still some lead in your pencil is important, you’re going to have to view them as utilities too. So now it’s just a question of defeating your conscience.

Swimcat wrote:

date women my age and financial status.

Seems rather pointless.

Much has changed in the last 40 years. But don’t be going out with ANY women you work with. Especially if you’re in a high-profile position. I just wouldn’t even give her the CHANCE to claim “sexual harassment”.

“I do not speak to women at work about anything other than work”.
… is an attitude that served me very well.

HARDCORE MGTOW is not something you can be cornered into or choose as “door #3”. It has to FEEL GOOD and be the right thing. The number ONE choice, or don’t bother with it.

Obviously I don’t know if any of this applies, and I have also banged women at work – with no consequence whatsoever. BUT THEY WERE NOT AS F~~~ED UP AS WOMEN ARE TODAY.

• Back in 1995, I was still living a “normal” and healthy personal life — until about 2004
• By 2005-2007, I was still a active but started noticing a major red flag danger zones all around me. Seriously scary s~~~. 3 dates turned my hair white. (figuratively)

• By 2010 I was pretty much done. No “girlfriends” anymore. The odd dates and bangs yes, but NO WOMAN will get the keys to my place ever again.

The last 20 years have seen a MAJOR shift in general female social attitudes. Become fluent in them, and then if you must, at least you’ll be armed. But if you haven’t dated since ’76, I should probably prep you, they have women in color now.

Did women even get boob jobs in ’76?

If you can find one who can pry her eyes away from her mobile phone long enough to have some pleasant conversation for 5 minutes, be sure to let me know. I didn’t know they make those.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 43]

NOOOOOOOOO do not cohabitate!!!!!! Do not Cohabitate!!!!! nope nope nope!!!!!!!!!!!

Find out what laws rights and privileges exist for cohabitation. You may get blown out of the home you paid for long before you met yr next gf. DDDOOOOO NNNNOOOOOTTTTTT CCCOOOOOHHHHHAAAAABBBBBIITTTTAAAAATTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no personal items at all in your house, none zip zero and if you find some, throw them away when she is not looking.

I would not acknowledge to anyone who asks if you have a house, always meet at her house. Hell, I would even get a nice beater car like a 6 year old Accord and register it at a mailbox place.

[SlayherParticipant 2074]

Swimcat wrote:

I had always heard but never experienced that single women have an intelligence network that puts the CIA to shame.

I think you may mean communications network. Women and intelligence don’t go together.

Thank you for your intro and welcome to MGTOW.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

NOOOOOOOOO do not cohabitate!!!!!! Do not Cohabitate!!!!! nope nope nope!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ That cannot be stressed enough.

Do not give a woman the key to your place.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! I’m glad you made it.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 43]

Amigo, stay off the dating sites. Stay waaaaay away from Craigslist.

Do not go there!!!!!!! There be landwhales, single moms and desperate golddiggers there. Avoid dating sites period. these are the laziest trollops trolling for your wallet, they want you to go to them, they have the power over you.. The women you want come looking for you, you have the power over them. At least they have the ambition and courage to seek you out. You are a hot property, you can hold out for a better offer.

Under 30 only. No single moms. Avoid tattoos. Avoid chicks with dirty or dented cars.

Everyone here is jealous of you swimcat, you had a pre feminism woman. Im not sure the millenials know what that is. My parents were married in 1967 and my mother was the prototypical housewife, make her man look good for work, laundry, ironing, shine shoes, haircuts, watch the kids after school, work the night shift when dad was home from work, 1 car, small house and save save save for retirement. If I could find some 25 year old who understood that, I’d put a ring on it. You were lucky, the feminist movement started in the mid 70’s and look what we have now. Your dear wife was not poisoned, you lucky dog.

We will never find that kind of woman again. They are gone for good. To my younger brothers I can only say you don’t know what you are missing.

[Anonymous 25]

I prefer to spend my time bettering myself and achieving my goals than dating.

99.9% of women here don’t even match me in terms of education and career. They are not my equal and they don’t interest me anymore.

I don’t deliberately not date women, I just set my standards really high. In reality though it’s not a high standard, it’s where it should be for most men in the first place. Modern women just don’t make the grade

[WallyParticipant]

Welcome Swimcat, the gentlemen have offered great advice ,you can still date just be careful. I would suggest if the need is still there a combination of 1 and 3 just don’t date at work. The safest and most peaceful bet obviously is pure number 3.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[BoarParticipant]

Swimcat,

Based on your intro, you have a very real opportunity now. Something you have never had. You can learn who you are. You, by yourself, without constraint or obligation to another. YOU. Not you the father, husband, provider, protector, salesman, etc. YOU.

You went from a very brief college interlude of singleness right into a relationship that you sustained for 40 years. Now is the chance for you to discover who you are.

It is not without risks. You may learn things that surprise you. You will learn things that change how you perceive your past, for better and worse. But it is worth it.

GO YOUR OWN WAY!

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Welcome! I’m in my early twenties. You have just described a life path that is so completely foreign to a ton of us young guys, you might as well be describing the countenance of God Himself. With that said, you’ve made all the right decisions in life and have made this far with no horror stories, and you really should keep it that way. You have nothing to gain by adding female-relate stress in your life.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[SwimcatParticipant 3589]

I’d like to thank everyone who has responded. Young and old we all have life’s experiences to share and help each other. I have some big decisions to make in the coming months. My kids are after me to sell the house, but it will be a lot of work to get it ready, and I find it hard to part with. In spite of my circumstances I have a lot to do. I’m very active in the Masons and I play a lot of golf. I workout swimming and compete in Masters swimming. That, my work, and my kids keep me busy. It also gives me an opportuinity to meet a lot of people. I have known several widowers that made outrageously bad decisions. One nearly lost everything to a Russian mail order bride. I promise I will be very careful, even if it means going total MGTOW. I just have too much to lose and too much at stake.

[Author]

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