Haven't dated in 40 years

[JimBoLeaParticipant 1891]

Sorry for your loss or am I , this could be an open door to the most happiest time in your life in the past 40 years. doing something that only you are interested in doing , that pleases you , and you are the only one who know’s what that is. sex is overrated . I have been celibate for about 29 years now. being financially secure that’s a given. being emotionally free from a female I think is the best option you can take. the freedom it affords us is limitless and it’s only restraint is that of your imagination!!!
good luck on a newly opened door your life.

LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

[YorickParticipant 32]

Sorry for your loss, Swimcat. I think you would naturally want to have someone like you late wife to keep you company the rest of your life. But you know you will never have that. No one will love you children and grandchildren the way your wife did. Anyone you date will be in competition with your children. You will be bringing in someone hostile to your family. One thing you should do now is set up a trust and estate plan, which will protect your assets for you children, and from “predators, debtors, in-laws, and outlaws.” Go see a good estate planning attorney. That will really take the jelly out the donut for all the gold diggers when they find out there is nothing for them to get. In some ways you are in a good position, because you are in high demand. If you want to go play, it seems you have options. But beware, STDs are rampant in many senior communities for this same reason. If you are lucky, maybe your hormones and desire will decline, and you won’t feel the need anymore. Since you have children nearby, they may fill your need for company. And there are always friends, too. Good luck. The only thing I would say you must do is go see a good estate planning attorney. I’ve seen some horror stories.

[SwimcatParticipant 3599]

Thank you Yorick, I have met with a lawyer friend and have set up trust that will distribute my assets equally among my children. I have purchased a long term care plan that will provide money to go into nursing home if ever I have to. So I’m in good shape with it all. Those golddiggers I talked about are all barking up the wrong tree.

[StealthParticipant 5387]

Swimcat, I’m revisiting your intro after reading your reply on “Why Did We Get Married?”

Now that it has been a couple of years, how have your retirement plans panned out?
How have you seen yourself change?
Which option (or combination of options) did you choose?

Your “cruise ship” microstory brings to mind a solo trip to Cancun I’ve been considering… and makes me consider a whole new angle on it.

I too had never dated as an adult when my wife divorced me five years ago, so I had to learn from scratch. I had one girlfriend who showed me what borderline personality disorder looks like up close and personally, another who was a highly paid corporate admin fembot on all the psych meds and somewhat inhumane overall with increasing paranoia, and a fwb that lasted for maybe a year and a half with no drama… After ending it with these three I haven’t dated since, and when I’ve run into them or heard stories about the first two I am relieved that I am a free man…

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

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