Marriage, Mortgage, Kids…f~~~ that s~~~

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Vector wrote:

Once she leaves, I’m getting my own place and starting a brand new fresh MGTOW life.

Why wait until she leaves?  Why not get your own place now?  At the very least it will tell your parents, or at least your mother, that her presence in your life is only optional to you as well.

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

Ok Vector, your not in the clear yet so don’t be dropping your guard especially being surrounded by both your feminist ex (at the wall to boot) and feminist mom (man you musta done something wrong in your last life).

DO NOT WAIT, GET OUT NOW.

It sound like there ganging up on you to wear you down, and it can be very effective. I’m not going to claim perfect judgement at this range with the details I have, But;  As a spot judgment I’d say they’re maximizing the level and amount of contact in order to twist you around and they will be much more practiced in this than you. Plus with your mom on her side it will be much worse. If they are very good it will be a gambit of subtle wear on you, but if they are not or are feeling rushed everything will be held to the level of plausible deniability so they can say “why would you think that” or the like should you try to defend yourself or call out what they are doing.

You have a job and money, concentrate on finding a place you can accept and getting out IMMEDIATELY. Take anything  of yours you wouldn’t want destroy with you.  You need your own space so you can center yourself and avoid contact with them once out for at-least the immediate future. If your mom contacts you to go back home just say you don’t want to go back while the ex is still around you don’t feel safe there or some such.

Here is an example of how far they can and are willing to go in the manipulation I think this might be a VERY important helpful example/related explanation for you right now (I strongly recommend you watch this):

And if you get out are some how called back and are surprised to see the ex their just turn around and leave, no conversation need, and turn off your phone if she leaves a bunch of crazy messages that will just be good “just in case” evidence.

You don’t need to take any place you’d hate to get out but it would be a focused immediate search for an acceptable apartment to move into ASAP because yesterday is not soon enough to get out of that situation.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Vector wrote:

“I’m going to rule you.”  This was a BIG red flag for me….

You think?

Thank Christ you showed up when you did.  Follow what Doc says, especially #5. I didn’t. I paid the price. That being said…..

 

F~~~ing. Run.

Fuck this planet.

[experiencedParticipant]

Have a plan, you make it now, and stick to it.  Be true to yourself.  Establish rules and obey them.  E.g. do not talk to her again, ever. You’ve absolutely nothing to gain and everything to lose. Seriously consider going silent and leaving the room Every time your mom brings her up. Tell her ‘mom I love you, but I’m not going to allow witch to drive a wedge between us.’ and then walk.  If you have to, make a date with yourself to talk with her in ten years or after she pops out two kids with someone else….but be careful even then because you’re the ‘one who got away’ and they can’t stand that.   YOUR CHOICE. PERIOD. NOT HER CHOICE.   Get a cheap walmart cellphone, use *67 to block its ID, if this upsets mums–she should’ve thought of that before agreeing to the one month for starters with ex.  Try not to burn bridges with your folks unless necessary.

You’re now WAY overpaying to live where you’re living. “Rent” takes many forms, cash/mental duress/etc.  live within your means.    Your own TINY studio basement apt  or your own room with 1-however many guys in other rooms, that you’ve met and talked with face to face, same industry discipline interests. lock on your door.

“once she ………”   Do Not Hinge Any decision on her, period.      O = f(her).   Zero is a function of her.  Nothing hinges on her.    Leave now. she’ll see she’s history then, and will falter in front of your parents because it will no longer be worth the effort to keep up the ‘cloaking shield’ vs who she really is. If only you could get her drunk and speaking truthfully. of course that was in front of her mom female, aunt female, cousins–I’m gonna guess female.

Assume she knows about this site, and is going to counter everything. However, the solutions you’ll get here are more than worth it.

Providence has handed you a gift of immeasurable power here. Her saying “I will rule you” is like accidentally hearing someone say “I love drinking blood from their necks”  You know she’s a vampire.

 

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[RoyDalParticipant]

Vector wrote:

No way in HELL am I getting married to her or any woman.

Wise are you!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Boston StranglerParticipant 14]

Vector:
We have gone from “I’ll have my father come and pick up my stuff” to “Don’t touch my stuff” to “I’m staying to the end of the month.” There’s a nice progression. You can see where this is going, you pussy whipped piece of crap. She knows she owns you already. Listen up. She’ll never respect you after this. The next step is her cheating on you after you are married and she knows she will be able to get away with it. Get some self respect.
All this troubled relationship s~~~ is music to a woman’s ears. That is all they talk about among themselves ever since they were teenagers. They love this s~~~. Now it’s her turn to be the centre of attraction. You know; “fighting to save my marriage” s~~~. All the women, your mother included, are just thrilled to bits to be right in the centre of it all; conniving, plotting, and conspiring. You were warned you were a sitting duck.
You dumb s~~~. I can guarantee you that she was no doubt on the phone plotting with your mother even when she was in China / Thailand. She doesn’t give a hoot if you withdrew half of your house down payment and bought a car. She knows that she can get that all back in spades if she can just con you into slipping a ring on her finger. But believe me you will never be allowed to forget it until the day you die if you do get hitched.
Now may be the last chance you will ever get to f~~~ another woman and get away with it. And if you do, and still get married to her, she will use it against you for the rest of your life. It is probably the very last chance you will ever get. Get out of your house, and screw around. Bring a chick home one night even if it’s just for a few moments to change before going out. Then stay out all night and come back at say 4:30 am. Have a buddy leave dirty messages on your cell phone, like “Oh baby, I just can’t wait to wrap my lips around your dick again.” Leave your computer open at some chat line or dating site. Believe me she will be checking everything when you are not around.

[VectorParticipant 178]

Boston Strangler….relax buddy and stop jumping the gun and calling me pussy whipped. I am NOT getting married to this woman. We are not on good terms and there is no sex or anything physical going on. We are just sleeping under the same roof is all.  The temptation to f~~~ will always be there but I’m smarter than that.

 

I appreciate all the advice from everybody however you guys seem to think that she is begging me to get back with her. That is not the case at all.  Very very far from it. As long as I don’t give in to temptation, and continue to treat her like a roommate, she will be out of my life in a couple weeks time.

[Anonymous 42]

Vector wrote:

she will be out of my life in a couple weeks time.

Hey vector, be careful, monkeys don’t like to be pushed out of trees, down to the forest floor, she might try to grab back onto your branch, then go nuts if you reject her… Anything is a possibility in her mind, she could flip out on you. Do you have a go-pro or some other sort of audio/video recorder, cellphone, something you can keep on you?

[Boston StranglerParticipant 14]

Heah Vector:

I apologize for calling you pussy whipped piece of crap. I was just trying to goad you into being a fortress of a man; you know NO F~~~ING HOLDS BARRED, YOU BITCH. Treat them like s~~~. But I stand by my predictions. If she manages to fix things up you will really suffer in the future. She thinks she already owns you and all this drama is just you having a tantrum. If you give in you will loose all respect. She will automatically assume you are really a blue pill (mangina) which I can tell you from experience, that is exactly what she thinks of you now. As soon as you are hitched she’ll be having nights out with the girls where all they do is go to clubs to find out if guys are still hitting on them. That’s the only reason they go. Sometimes it ends up in an affair which her girlfriends will cover for her. And you maybe raising a kid that aint yours.

You have to find a way to make sure she knows that you mean business. She has to know that you can’t be trusted, that you will screw anything you see, as soon as her back is turned. She has to feel insecure all the time. She has to know that she can’t take her eyes off of you for one f~~~ing minute or you will be committing adultry. If she even suspects that she can get away with even one girls night out, then you haven’t done a good enough job at assuring her that you will be using that as a opportunity to play around. She feels she owns you right now because you haven’t done any of this. It is extremely important that you set the tone, hopefully until just the end of the month.

[Smacktalk73Participant 296]

Vector, when I gave my ex-wife notice I wanted a divorce and left MY HOME which I paid for, she managed to talk me back into the house “while the divorce was processing” in order to “help her with the kids.”

The next steps were utter mind-f~~~ery.  She started acting like a cat in heat, around me, begged me to have anal sex with her, did EVERYTHING SHE COULD to be a total sex pot and get me back.   I was in the shower, and without asking permission she CAME INTO THE F~~~ING SHOWER WITH ME naked.  Didn’t say anything, just started rubbing up against me.

And then, when all else failed, she snooped on my phone, saw that I’d been texting another woman, and proceeded to attack me with said phone to initiate a fight — chased me into my own bedroom, and as I huddled behind a locked door CALLED THE COPS AND SAID I WAS ATTACKING HER.

Women are NEVER OK WITH LIVING WITH YOU if you’ve broken up with them.  They are F~~~ING DANGEROUS.

[experiencedParticipant]

 

Feed this site of guys resource, the quotes from her and the context and you will not regret it. Just give these guys the raw accurate data.

I appreciate all the advice from everybody however you guys seem to think that she is begging me to get back with her.

Consider this your “opportunity of a lifetime” to help other men that will otherwise get crushed, the way you would have if she’d not gotten drunk. She got drunk and let you know she was going to rape you!  financially and many other ways.

Lesson: get “her” drunk via extra vodka etc when her support network has her back,  and listen for the truth, it is not to be ignored.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Best thing u can do is end it with her now.She is a FEMINIST for God’s sake.She “feels” that you need to be ruled over because you are a man.All of her stuff can be left outside.
You know years ago I thought the same thing “have sex with her one more time”.We weren’t even living together any more.I had had it up to here over my head with her and her s~~~ty attitude and her b ulls~~~ but I was trying to back away slowly .Two weeks later I got THE phone call that changed my life ,those horrible TWO WORDS “IM PREGNANT”
I f~~~ed up and f~~~ed her one last time.
Nearly two decades of misery followed.
I talk to you now as if you were my own son.
Don’t follow in my footsteps, you don’t have to go where I have been you don’t have to suffer where I have suffered. You don’t have to make the same mistakes I have made.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Vector,
Whatever else happens, I don’t necessarily think she is going to be begging you for sex. But that doesn’t mean that she is just going to sit for a few weeks and leave quietly as her meal ticket slips away. It doesn’t mean you are in the clear just because you openly stated what you want for yourself. She got your own mother to agree to let her stay for several more weeks without even consulting you about it. Think about that.

She told you she will rule you. That’s how she thinks/feels about you and she’s made that pretty clear.

She didn’t come to you and ask you to your face if she could stay another few weeks in the house, but she could have. She could have even begged you to let her stay another few weeks, but she didn’t. She didn’t acknowledge you or respect you in the process at all, did she? That’s because you don’t beg people that you intend to rule…

Think back to the time when she initially moved in to your parent’s house. Did you get consulted then? Or did she go straight to your parents and make that arrangement. My guess is that the conversation about that was between you and her…back when she was still pretending to respect you. If you got consulted back then about her moving in to your parent’s house, why not now that it’s time to move out? Why don’t you matter enough to ask anymore? How exactly did that progression happen?

It’s because you don’t ask or beg people you intend to rule. You go over them, or around them, or through them. But you don’t respect them enough to ask them. You take from them without acknowledging them, consulting them, or respecting them. She did this with your mother AFTER you said you wanted out of the relationship.

Here’s a question I have: why did she ask your mother, and not your dad about this?
Answer: Because you already said your mother essentially rules your dad. He didn’t get consulted, acknowledged or respected in this process either, did he? Here’s what you wrote about your parents in your earlier posts:

Omg seeing what my 70 year old father has gone through over the years from my nagging bitch mother, I never want that life. He always told me growing up “Don’t get married!”

My mother chews him to pieces day in and day out, and they CONSTANTLY argue…

Since my mom is a feminist as well, and talks down to my father and basically makes all the decisions in the home, I was in no way going to go down that route with my ex.

So, your dad doesn’t get a say on who lives in the house. But I’m guessing his name is on the title to that house…? And I’d bet a month’s pay that his name is on the mortgage payments, isn’t it? Yet, he gets no say. That’s a direct result of something else you wrote:

She even told me jokingly that “women make their men believe they have the power by doing certain things, when truth is, the women have the power.”  I don’t believe it was a joke at all

I agree. She wasn’t joking, and neither is your mother. Just because she’s not begging you for sex, or overtly trying to get back together… does not mean that she respects your decision and accepts it. I’ll finish this post with one other thing from one of your previous posts:

So we starting arguing.  The argument got pretty loud and she ended up threatening to move out.  So I called her bluff, and she didn’t.

And, somehow she still hasn’t. She did not move out when it was her idea, and she did not move out when it was your idea. She’s still there. Do not disregard the significance of her still being there.

You cannot rule someone you don’t at least have access to, and she just secured an extension of the access. She did it without asking, acknowledging or respecting you or your father. You stating your desire not to get married was the first round, and you won that round. Second round was date of the move out. Second round goes to your mother and your fiancé.

Fight’s not over, son. Third round is coming up…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

This would be an excellent time for you to take a vacation… at least go stay with a friend or rent a weekly apartment until she’s gone.

If the end of the month comes and she leaves, then you can have your life back… but if she’s still showing no signs of leaving, you will understand at that point that you’re being had. Why risk it? Just get out of the house and give her nothing to do but drive your parents insane and then they’ll throw her out themselves. So long as you are there for them all to focus on, you’re still in the s~~~.

[VectorParticipant 178]

If I leave, and she stays, doesn’t that mean that “she won?”  Wouldn’t that make me look more like a wuss who can’t handle this?  I do intend on leaving and I’m in the process of looking for apartments, but it’s not a up and go and move out in a day type of thing.  I work 55-60 hour work weeks, and don’t have as much time on my hands as you think.  I’m not just going to move into a s~~~ hole apartment, sign a lease, and be stuck miserable while she gets to stay at my parents house all comfortable in a nice house.  It takes time to find a place to live; somewhere closer to my job, financially within my means, safe neighborhood, clean, no insect infestations etc.  Plus, moving my stuff will definitely need a U-Haul with all my belongings.  I already rushed into buying a car (which I’m very satisfied with) I don’t want to make a mistake on where I’m going to live without enough research and thought put into it.  By the time I find a place, it will be the end of the month anyhow I feel.

Last night she got home, very cold attitude, did not talk to me at all, AND had the nerve to ask to use my computer so she can “work from home” and I was like hell no.  Can you believe this bitch?  So she sat in the kitchen and worked from her laptop.  Then she texts me “I just booked a vacation and I can’t wait to get the f~~~ out of here and forget about you.  I really tried to explain I would work on changing, I tried putting my best foot forward and I loved you, but now you’re turning it into hate.  I can’t wait for you to just be a distant memory right along with the others.”  I told her, to get the hell out now, I don’t want you here, and she said “oh well, too bad.”  I told her that she should be looking for a place to live, and not booking vacations, and that her priorities were backwards.  She said “oh I got everything in check I don’t need you to tell me that.  I’m way more prepared and ready then you think.”  I told her that she had a good man, and blew it for taking me for granted, which she admitted.  She says “Ur making me sick to my stomach literally, I don’t feel good, and u love this, u love to torture me, hurt me and see me cry, but I’m not giving in and I’m not leaving, so you might as well calm down and act civil.”  What a f~~~ing bitch!  When I told her how f~~~ed up it was to go behind my back and discuss with my mother, she says “why should I tell you?”  I can’t stand this f~~~ing woman. Why do I feel powerless in my own home?  Because it’s my parents house?  I’m so sick of making bad decisions with women.  I can’t wait to have the POWER that I deserve.  I believe MGTOW was the awakening that will lead to a life of pleasures, and freedom I’ve always craved.   I will NEVER move a woman into my home ever again.  I will never give the keys to another woman, I’m never getting married, or having kids.  I am just going to be an asshole/jerk to every single woman here on out.  Use them for the only thing they’re good for, their pussy.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

Whoa Vector

Vector you have to be the most popular member of MEGTOW.

I notice she wants to move from “hate and animosity” to “civil” Step number One

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Vector
She said “I’m booking a vacation”
I would have said good riddance
She said “I love u” I would have said no love is not one of your weetle fweelins love is a way you act.love is a verb.
She said “your turning it into hate”
I would have said your neuroses is showing with those words.proof that it’s a good thing you will be out of my life soon
She said “you love to see me cry
I would have said no I don’t love to see you at all and I will love it when you are gone.
Vector
I/we should have advised you to give your parents a heads up.I think you probably should have a talk with your parents.You see this relationship ending in a bad way and want it over now better than later.She is just trying to f~~~ with your head tactics that preteen girls teach each other before high school.
Please keep your distance from her the schoolgirl headgames she is using are nothing compared to things many of us have gone thru.
The majic word to use with entitled personalitys like hers is NO.
I highly recommend changing your cell number.
Vector be careful because the game gets dicey from here on till she is gone.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

your mother is not letting her live in their home Out of charity, she’s doing it to give this female time to work on you. By leaving the instant you learned of this, you would have sent a clear message that their strategy would not have worked. But now you’re making concessions to practicality rather than standing on principle and they have you right where they want you.

I would not spend a single night in this situation. You’ve already stated that your mother is not a friendly and your father is a lost cause… you now have two females controlling you. Have fun with that.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

I agree Doc Fenderson:

They’ve got a plan. And it is a fairly obvious one at that. Keep them together, under the same roof, and probably the same bed and bathroom. Get them talking civilly to each other, which they are betting will lead to discussing the situation (true confessions). They will even have the subject of discussion, order and substance all worked out, so it appears as though she is going to compromise with him taking the bate (she’ll promise to give him a blow job every day of the week). She has already mentioned she is willing to change (for a while anyway). The mother will be pushing from her end. Her parents, who were supposed to be picking up her stuff, will be pushing from the other end, and finally she’ll get him into bed. Game over. Back to square one. But this time it will be wedding plans in great haste. Invitations going out. No backing out now.

Poor bastard. And I liked him so much.

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

Ok I’ll try to give a little more analysis here. And as a brief lock back pay attention to what BrainPilot said, he does an amazing job of articulating important points.

Vector wrote:

If I leave, and she stays, doesn’t that mean that “she won?”  Wouldn’t that make me look more like a wuss who can’t handle this?

Micro skit : Death or cake? what you want cake? stop being a wuss… [end micro skit]

In short WRONG her win scenario is you being trapped with contact with her and from the rest of your post she is getting exactly everything she want from your continuing to be there. Women do not think like men. You are projecting a type of idea of morality on her and she is just going to be using it to shame you in to doing an feeling what she wants you to do and feel.

 

Vector wrote:

I do intend on leaving and I’m in the process of looking for apartments, but it’s not a up and go and move out in a day type of thing.  I work 55-60 hour work weeks, and don’t have as much time on my hands as you think.  I’m not just going to move into a s~~~ hole apartment, sign a lease, and be stuck miserable while she gets to stay at my parents house all comfortable in a nice house.  It takes time to find a place to live; somewhere closer to my job, financially within my means, safe neighborhood, clean, no insect infestations etc.  Plus, moving my stuff will definitely need a U-Haul with all my belongings.  I already rushed into buying a car (which I’m very satisfied with) I don’t want to make a mistake on where I’m going to live without enough research and thought put into it.  By the time I find a place, it will be the end of the month anyhow I feel.

Fair enough… to a point but the extra strain of burring both ends a little to find an acceptable place more quickly will be worth the relief of getting out of there. The last thing you want is to give them more time to work on you especially with you job wearing you as well because to them breaking you down is their job and they are committed to it.

Perfect is the enemy of good here, your looking for a place that is good enough for now. The commitment to the place your renting is comparatively short term. Not too pricey and safe would be my prime concerns and not a total dump tends to go along with safe.

Vector wrote:

Last night she got home, very cold attitude, did not talk to me at all, AND had the nerve to ask to use my computer so she can “work from home” and I was like hell no.  Can you believe this bitch?  So she sat in the kitchen and worked from her laptop.  Then she texts me “I just booked a vacation and I can’t wait to get the f~~~ out of here and forget about you.  I really tried to explain I would work on changing, I tried putting my best foot forward and I loved you, but now you’re turning it into hate.  I can’t wait for you to just be a distant memory right along with the others.”  I told her, to get the hell out now, I don’t want you here, and she said “oh well, too bad.”  I told her that she should be looking for a place to live, and not booking vacations, and that her priorities were backwards.  She said “oh I got everything in check I don’t need you to tell me that.  I’m way more prepared and ready then you think.”  I told her that she had a good man, and blew it for taking me for granted, which she admitted.  She says “Ur making me sick to my stomach literally, I don’t feel good, and u love this, u love to torture me, hurt me and see me cry, but I’m not giving in and I’m not leaving, so you might as well calm down and act civil.”  What a f~~~ing bitch!  When I told her how f~~~ed up it was to go behind my back and discuss with my mother, she says “why should I tell you?”  I can’t stand this f~~~ing woman. Why do I feel powerless in my own home?

Now this is everything she hopes and dreams for. She is getting off on the drama of you being trapped in the house like you have no idea.  If you want to be aggressive in the “Win” direction find a place and move out, then you can say to your friends and/or on facebook or whatever (especially if you have any mutual female friends) something like “It good to be out on my own I felt like I was just being a leach at a certain point. someone that’s 30 has to show some independence, but at-least i wasn’t living at my girlfriends parents house, I mean how pathetic does someone have to be to need to leach of someone else parents?” They real don’t like the leach comments because of how true it is. And she cares more about what others think of her than anything that happens in her interaction with you. This isn’t required though getting out is what you really need.

Vector wrote:

Because it’s my parents house?

And this is where you got thing twisted around. Getting out is your real victory scenario her still being there when you leave means nothing. She will never feel a need to leave so-long as you are still there she is winning, and advancing her goals  Getting you to leave would be a victory for her if it was a joint asset to the two of you, but its not. It’s your parent’s house so your leaving is a disaster for her. Once your gone your mom will want your ex gone or paying more pronto because without you there as the goal your mom will view your ex as a threat effectively.

In short, as-long as you avoid being compromised by her first, you win once you leave.

[Author]

Posts