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TouchLine 2 years, 5 months ago.
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I’m so glad I found out about MGTOW just in time. Finding out about MGTOW was the biggest “ah ha” moment ever. Please hear me out on my current situation. It might sound a bit scrambled, however I want to get all the main points across.
I’m 34 years old, no kids, and have a good job. Last week my 30 year old girlfriend whom I have been living with for a year and half so far, dating for 2 1/2; went on a business trip to LA for 3 days then China for 3 weeks last week. As sad as this sounds, this past weekend felt so great not having her around so I could finally focus on myself in peace and quiet. Having the bed all to myself, the peace and quiet, not having to deal with the nagging, or the waking up early b/c we had things to do on Saturday. Not having to plan a night out for dinner (and pay for it) and have something planned to do afterwards. Not having to pick her up at the train station every night when she would get home from work and if I was 1 minute late; having to hear her mouth the whole ride home. Not having to visit her parents house and have her complain about why I make the face of grief every time I have to go there.
I stumbled upon MGTOW after researching marriage statistics this weekend. My girlfriend wants her wedding, to buy a house, and have kids before she’s 32. We have a joint bank account, and have been saving into it for over a year now for a house, and even visited a bank to get information on buying property! By the way, she has a very good job.
The weekend before she left to China, we got into this big argument b/c I didn’t plan anything “special” for her as a going away “together time” since we weren’t going to see each other for a while. I offered to take her to dinner and a few drinks, which obviously wasn’t enough for her. So we starting arguing. The argument got pretty loud and she ended up threatening to move out. So I called her bluff, and she didn’t. She just nagged me about how I don’t do anything “special” for her, and that if it wasn’t for her that we would be sitting home chilling and watching movies all the time b/c she’s the one who plans all of our “outings” or date nights, and I never want to do s~~~ (according to her).
After learning about MGTOW my whole perception is now changed. No way in HELL am I getting married to her or any woman. Hearing you guys talk about your freedom is liberating. When she gets to China she face timed me and says that I’m not enthusiastic to speak to her and I haven’t told her I missed her. She is already sensing that I am becoming more and more unemotionally thirsty for her.
The hard part now is, how I’m going to go against what I told her I wanted. I was always weary about marriage, and I’m not fond of kids at all, yet told her that I did want a family. Having to hear all the baby screaming waking you up in the middle of the night, sexless marriage statistics, divorce rates…omg the list goes on and on. We’ve only lived with each other a year in a half and she already has become more and more sexually distant. Forget about the random blowjobs you used to get in the beginning to lure you in, and initiating sexual encounters. We only have sex anymore when I initiate it. Pussy isn’t as wet as it used to be either. In the beginning, the sheets would practically get soaked naturally. Now we have to use lube every now and again. WTF!
When she gets back from her trip, my goal is to f~~~ her, then take her out to dinner and talk to her about my new boundaries. No marriage, or kids. If she doesn’t like it, then she can walk. I’m not going my whole life living with a woman who will try and control me and tell me what I can and can’t do. Most importantly, I can’t go the rest of my life drooling at all the scattered ass in yoga pants day after day knowing that I can’t have another piece of pussy until I die. F~~~ that s~~~. My goal as MGTOW is to date plenty of women, and have sexual relations, enjoying my world as the oyster it is, while completely avoiding the whole marriage and kids concept. The whole reason men have mid life crisis’ at age 50 is because they’re married for years already and regret not getting all the pussy they could have been getting in their youth!
Keep in mind that she is a feminist, and doesn’t believe in serving men at all really. She even told me jokingly that “women make their men believe they have the power by doing certain things, when truth is, the women have the power.” I don’t believe it was a joke at all
And to top the cake, for her 30th birthday, her parents threw her a fancy party at their house. I contributed money towards the party, bought her an expensive name brand handbag, and took her to dinner at a fancy expensive steakhouse. That night she got really drunk, and blurted out to me in front of her mother, aunt’s and cousins “I’m going to rule you.” This was a BIG red flag for me….
I know you guys are probably thinking I should have gotten out a while ago.
I want to thank all you guys for putting this information out there and helping me see the light of day while preventing me from ruining my life by getting hitched. I almost fell for the trap, but found out about MGTOW just in time!
This is my 1st post. It might sound like all over the place, but that’s what I’m going through in my mind right now. Share your opinions and any insight you guys can provide to help me in my current situation.
Welcome to Mgtow vector.
Nothing makes us happier than to know we’ve contributed to stopping a wedding. When a minister says, “speak now or forever hold your peace…”. We at mgtow have an awful lot to say.
I don’t have much time to write presently. But with the time I have, I’ll say you’ve come to the right place. You are doing the right thing for yourself. You will encounter all manner of resistance from what would have been the biggest beneficiary of you continuing to believe that you should live your life serving her interests above your own. Ignore this resistance and pay attention to protecting yourself. This one who attempted to use you for her own purposes will not be the last one who will try this.
When women hear about some celebrity’s wife getting some unearned monster divorce settlement, they always cheer “good for her”.
When I hear of a man like you backing out of the trap before it springs shut, I always cheer “good for him”…
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Welcome brother… and just in f~~~ing time, I might add!
Let me offer you a few points of advice as you prepare for this:
1) Get your fair share of the cash out of that joint account RIGHT NOW. Leave her a little extra if you want to give her a point to score (otherwise she’ll take it out of your ass later) but get your fair share out before she can touch it.
2) Relocate anything particularly valuable you might have in the home (photos of you and your family, your favorite records, etc) because when she gets angry, she will attempt to destroy something you care about.
3) Be prepared to MOVE OUT if things go badly. Make a reservation at a hotel for that night and pre-pay with cash. You might need a place to sleep.
4) When you do tell her your plans, DO IT IN PUBLIC. Pick a very public place and tell her quietly and calmly that “This is how it’s gonna be from now on.” this way if she gets violent or starts thinking to pin some trumped up abuse charge on you, you’ll have hundreds of witnesses to the contrary.
5) Stay calm. Do not stand up, do not raise your voice, do not lose your cool. Lean back, relax, lay your cards on the table and let come what may.
6) If she throws you out, do not go back. Anything she has control over (money, personal items of yours, etc) is now hers as far as you are concerned. She may choose to give them back to you unharmed or she may choose to bleach, burn or give them away depending on how vindictive she is (and from what you’ve said, I’m going to presume maximum vindictiveness).
7) When it’s all said and done, call up a few of your boys and go celebrate. You just took your first step into a much larger world and although it will hurt, it’s just a scratch compared to what would have happened to you had you married this female.
Oh, and I suggest you wear a cup. Angry females love to go for the nutsack and a quick trip to a sporting goods store can save you a lot of pain in this department.
And one more thing… consider the fact that she may respond by sitting quietly and agreeing to everything you say. If this happens, RUN! She isn’t agreeing, she’s plotting to get back at you and she will do so in a way that produces maximum damage… like getting pregnant, f~~~ing your best friends, destroying your valuables and humiliating you publicly.
In fact, I think you should just dump her. There’s no way this is going to go well for you at this point in time, she’s probably far too invested in you being her future meal ticket to accept a demotion to “casual fling” and when this plan of hers dies, it’s going to die very hard.
@vector. This was a most excellent read. And MY GOD, man, this story is the reason we exist and let our presence be known. Bookmarked this epic tale, and the next time a woman says “WHY TALK ABOUT MGTOW!! WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO YOUR OWN WAY AND SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!” , we can link them to your personal story with a smile.
this past weekend felt so great not having her around so I could finally focus on myself in peace and quiet.
They say the biggest problems in a man’s life stem from not being able to sit in a room all by himself.
I found that to be the truest s~~~ ever.My girlfriend wants her wedding, to buy a house, and have kids before she’s 32.
Isn’t that convenient. You get to be the sperm donor that fits just perfectly into her little schedule and pre-conceived “plan”. You lucky dog.
I’m not going my whole life living with a woman who will try and control me and tell me what I can and can’t do.
Control or be controlled.
She even told me jokingly that “women make their men believe they have the power by doing certain things, when truth is, the women have the power.” I don’t believe it was a joke at all
Of course it wasn’t. This would become apparent the day after you sign on the bottom line. 18 months is about as long as a woman can keep up the charade. 2 years max before you start to see the read flags. Even if you’re not totally aware. They want you to THINK you’re in a 50/50 relationship…. where she presents you with 2 controlled choices and you’re allowed to pick one of them.
• “Do you want to get married in the summer or the winter?”
• “Do you want chicken or steak tonight?”
• “Do you want to go for a picnic or to my parents house? “All cleverly (and intentionally) phrased to make it LOOK like your idea – by asking “do you want”. And by picking one of those controlled choices she now lets you THINK you’re in a 50/50 relationship, which is bulls~~~. Tell her what you REALLY want and she will lose her s~~~:
• “Neither. What makes you think I would WANT to sign a marriage contract at all?”
• “Neither. I want beer and pizza.”
• “Neither. I want to stay home and watch the game in peace.”That’s when you’ll see you’re not in a 50/50 relationship at all. She thinks she smarter than you and can “rule” you. You are about to give her an education and her plan will now fail.
The first time I saw that video I actually wanted to vomit. The number of women I know EXACTLY like that was enough to turn my hair white.
she got really drunk, and blurted out to me in front of her mother, aunt’s and cousins “I’m going to rule you.” This was a BIG red flag for me….
I had a girlfriend who once said next to me (as I was driving on the freeway) “I told my friends one day all of this was going to pay off”. She actually used the words “PAY OFF”. It took all my self control to slam on the brakes.. but I just kept driving and a f~~~ing cold sweat came over me. Already conspiring without my knowledge when I’m not around is a HUGE red flag.
On that day, I started to “feign beta” and began displaying weak, needy, ass-kidding behavior to repulse her. It worked. And she started to lose interest, eventually making the break up HER idea. She was considerably younger and had no idea just how experienced I was. A lovely girl all around but highly dangerous to my sanity and well-being. I took the terrific job opportunity in another city far far away, and never looked back. Best move I ever made. I remember starting a new and when I came home to MY place which was empty… I actually remember punching the air around me , I was so happy to be rid of the shackles – knowing I had narrowly escaped the noose.
A BIG welcome to the party, Vector.
And don’t be too quick to f~~~ her when she returns.
Guard your sperm like Fort Knox.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Great story Vector…congratulations on your ” reprieve”….the only thing I have to add is A) If you do f~~~ her, make sure you’re safe…if she gets a whiff of what you’re up to, she may try to keep f~~~ing you to trap you with a child and your new found freedom could be derailed by 18 years of child support and B) Don’t give her the chance to “accept your new boundaries”…being the nagging feminist you described she may nod in accordance but will never accept it. Drop her like a bad habit and start fresh…it’s easier to start off with new boundaries than to change the old ones. Best of luck to you!
Dude, no one likes to hear, “You’ve got a tumor.” Informed, their quest must be, “Cut it out, all of it, NOW.” Would you keep a doctor who says, “let’s wait for it to metastasize.” Alcohol releases one from their inhibitions, so her uninhibited core is, “I’m going to rule you.”
“I’m going to rule you.” ? IMO it’s not that, “It’s over” ………………………….. “It never was.”
“This was a BIG red flag for me” No, it’s a
BOMB.Big red flags are, “year round boarding school starting at age eight is a good idea.” Or “it’s important to ‘help’ deadbeat siblings with…..our resources……..right??” (we should be a hammock, not a safety net)
Sounds as if this female’s support network (mom,aunts,cousins) is the type that says, “grow a pair” to females, meaning grow a pair of b~~~~ otherwise she would not have said this in front of them. They are not going to change.
(By all means, grow…………………….. a pair of fallopian tubes, breasts.)
But, “I will rule you” translates to, “I will ruin you.”
As you walk to the restaurant’s restroom, you glance through a circular window in the kitchen door and see the cook spitting in the soup. Leave now? or look around, what a nice establishment, the food smells fantastic, the lighting is perfect, professional staff, reasonable prices.
You’ve already awakened LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN
It’s not easy, but in the long run it’s easier than living as a gelded former bull, or getting slaughtered when she files for divorce. I NEVER thought it’d happen to me man, was I ever wrong. Please learn from my mistakes.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
“I know you guys are probably thinking I should have gotten out a while ago.”
Absolutely not! You are ahead of a lot of men! F~~~ dude… I wish I had been where you are and MGTOW was around before I got married/divorced.
It’s a F~~~ING trap! Like the rebel fleet attacking the 2nd Death Star man!
Everything Doc Fenderson said man! He’s not kidding about the cup protector either. Heh.
Anonymous42“I’m going to rule you.”
Oh really! That corral you’re sitting in is where the bulls run! Horns are in your future! You’ll be gored if you don’t look out!
Every time someone has “jokingly” said, “I am going to mess you over big time,” they were telling the absolute truth. I am with the majority: Bail out while you can.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Dude, when she said she was going to rule over you, that was her tipping her hand. Run, do it now, don’t look back, do not give her a chance. You have the perfect opportunity to bail now. She’s gone, get your s~~~ and leave, you’ll thank me later. She doesn’t love you, she never did, you are a resource to her.
Unlike the other guys here, I’m gonna say empty your joint account… she would, and leave. Take what you want from your shared apartment, leave the rest. You can have your own new place by the time she gets back. Her arrogance, and own words made this happen. You need to protect you, and run far and fast while you can. I’m talking change your phone #, act like she doesn’t exist. Don’t meet with her, or explain anything, you owe her nothing, she was trying to enslave you.
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
Vector,
I got a little more time to write now, so I can make some points I couldn’t last night.You’ve identified her as a feminist. But she wasn’t born a feminist. She became that way as a result of things that were said to her, things she read etc. Based on this, I can pretty well predict what she’s been reading and hearing, and what she’s come to think as a result of that. As I’ve done in other posts, I always advise men to read what women are reading in order to get insights into what they are thinking.
You don’t have time for that now. But there’s no need. She’s already shown you. When you related that she said “I will rule you”, you made it a point to note that she was really drunk at the time. The pharmacology of alcohol is pretty well understood. I’m going to make the point now that alcohol does not bring out of a person’s mind anything that was not already in there somewhere. Alcohol does not change what someone thinks or feels, it just removes the filter between what they think and feel… and what they say. Now that she’s said it, you know where it came from. You know what she thinks. That thought was already there before the waiter ever brought her first drink.
If you have ever mentioned it to her since then, she probably excused and dismissed it by saying she was drunk at the time. That gets used as an excuse for a lot of bad behavior by irresponsible drunk people. If that gets a pass because she was drunk at the time, what happens when she files a false police report against you, picks up a weapon and gets physically violent with you, or gets pregnant by someone else she was cheating with behind your back? As it sounds to me here, as long as she has a few drinks before doing those things, she expects a pass for it. And if you’ve given her a pass for it this time, why should she not expect it again? These mechanisms for taking control while avoiding responsibility or accountability for themselves and their decisions is a hallmark of feminist thinking.
Although my gut agrees with the plan to have sex with her one more time and then abandon her, my head tells me otherwise. A woman leaving town for weeks at a time is a supreme opportunity for you to escape with little to no drama and much less risk. You have time to bail cleanly, and without resistance. You can be gone before she knows you’re gone. That’s an opportunity many men do not get. If she returns from her trip to find you and your stuff gone from the place where you live together, her options for damaging you are limited.
If you try to do it in person, you take a much greater risk that you do not have to take. NEVER take an unnecessary risk to achieve something you could otherwise achieve safely. Getting laid one more time by someone you’ve already had sex with is not worth the risk. The potential risks include, but are not limited to (I sound like a lawyer here), all the things that were mentioned above, and a bunch of other things she’s read and heard about from other feminists to damage men who dare try to escape the plantation. We can’t warn you about all those things because some of them we haven’t heard about yet…and they invent new ones all the time.
The goal is to get out. It’s the only goal. Focus only on that and take the opportunity to get out as cleanly as you can. No phone calls, text messages, social media, emails… and don’t even consider being in the same room or same building with her again.
You are 34 year old man with good job and no kids. You are a highly prized target my friend. She’s 30 years old. She knows her most attractive days are behind her and the clock is ticking loudly. Soon, no one will want her. That won’t matter if anyone really wants her or not if she has kids (hostages) to use for ransom. But if she doesn’t get to kids soon, the opportunity for that will pass and she’ll have nothing to offer, and nothing to use as leverage and will have to take responsibility for herself for the rest of her life.
I’ve been there. You are me 15 years ago and I can promise you that there is no way you can accurately estimate how deep her sense of entitlement to your efforts, attention, emotions, time, money and other resources goes. At this point in the relationship, she already feels ownership of them. She’s give you some random blow jobs and some sex and spent some time on you. In her mind, you owe her for these things and that debt (in her mind) has not yet been paid. She just hasn’t gone through with the formalities of nailing down the terms of payment in a marriage contract yet. But do not be naive here. This is what she thinks. It’s what she’s been told. It’s what she’s read and heard… and believes.
When you break it off now, she will feel as though you’ve taken something from her that was HERS! She will react is though you’ve stolen from her, just by taking your own life back. And you have taken these things from her at a time in her life when she has fewer options to replace them. I am almost certain that you are underestimating how intense her reaction to that is going to be. Women, especially feminist women, are not going to just forgive you and go quietly away.
You already know you are breaking up and taking your life back. The safest, cleanest, least expensive and easiest time to do that is before she gets back.
Last point: If you do choose to do it this way, leave a note that says “I am certain that I am not the right person to make you happy”. She will read this to mean it’s all your fault. Let her! This leaves nothing to argue about. The goal here is not ‘winning’ an argument about whose fault it was. If you win that argument, you are highly likely to find yourself in another one involving lawyers. The goal her is to get out without her filing a false police report and having you jailed for daring to leave the plantation.
When you break up with a woman like this, expect these things: first denial, then bargaining (this is the part where she’ll become especially nice to you… all the sex and home cooked meals you want… behavior that can easily be mistaken for respect etc), this is the most dangerous time, and the time many men are likely to crack and cave in and take her back. If you don’t crack this way, expect rage. You’re going to see a side of her you didn’t know existed, and it probably won’t take alcohol to bring it out. (Although she will likely have a few drinks before she slashes tires on your car, just as a measure of escaping accountability for it in the event she gets caught). The best way to prepare for that rage phase is to be GONE BEFORE IT STARTS.
Pay attention to everything you’ve read above. Focus on that goal, and only on that goal. And please keep us posted on the results. Nothing makes us happier here than stopping a marriage contract BEFORE it slams shut on another man…
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Real talk brethren , since I don’t get romantically or emotionally invested in American women, my blood pressure is the lowest it’s been in 4 years, my health has improved and I am not stressed at all..
Ironically, I heard all my ex’s are STILL surrounded by drama, neglect and lying
Yea, mgtows are” missing out on leeerrvv” though lol
"I think of a man, and I take away reason & accountability"
Every time someone has “jokingly” said, “I am going to mess you over big time,” they were telling the absolute truth. I am with the majority: Bail out while you can.
When a broad I went to highschool told me she loved me and yes my brother(who passed in 04) even told me this cause I assumed she was into him but my brother, my cousin and her sister told me this,I just had a bad vibe about her..she said jokingly” ha I believe in karma” when I addressed this with her (just not the” bad vibe” comment”)
Well found out she got with my ex best friend around my back and she claimed it was on date, her sister said for 2 weeks then he dropped her for his current wife who he has been playing for years..oh btw she STILL chats with him
So when I confronted her on this, she was” involved” with one of children’s fathers, then I didn’t hear from her and her sister told me she got back with him and she said her sister claimed I am” a bit controlling”
I can care less about a side chicking whore my anger is from her tarnishing and using my deceased brother to guilt me into trying to date her
"I think of a man, and I take away reason & accountability"
Thank you guys for being so supportive during this stressful and furious realization. It’s very comforting knowing there’s help out there. Brian, I notice how you kept mentioning on how I should just leave, however it’s not as easy as it seems. You see, we are living at my parents house. We decided to stay for a year to save money for a house. I can’t just up and leave my own house like that. All her clothes, furniture, jewelry, computer, and belongings are here!
This big trip she took finally gave me some time away from her in order to fully analyze my situation and realize what’s wrong. Then I find out about MGTOW, and everything started making more sense. What’s really eating me up inside, is that despite all this bulls~~~ I’m going through, I actually agreed to this whole relationship and our future together forever lovey dovey bulls~~~. Even, our parents have met, and I’ve met her whole family already! Gone to parties, birthdays…you name it! Her mother keeps egging her on to have babies…”when are you going to give me a grandson?”
The “I will rule you” comment is the one that really took me overboard. Funny how immediately after she said this, her mother says “oh, don’t listen to her, she’s drunk…she doesn’t know what she’s saying.” Yea, right… I explained to her about the Freudian slip on how alcohol induces what’s REALLY going on in a person’s mind, and how when you drink, your loss of inhibitions allow you say anything without that “filter” you mentioned. Her response was, “I was drunk, I don’t remember what I said. You can’t take what I say seriously when I’m drunk. You don’t even know what you’re saying when you’re drunk” –>Such bulls~~~!! These thoughts had to arose from somewhere in there!
So she has been messaging me from China, and the conversations have been very boring, plain and unloving. She kept asking me why I haven’t contacted her or told her that I missed her. A few words were exchanged, and then she writes “…wow I’m really starting to understand what you’re about…keep going and see where it’s gonna get you” Like she’s trying to threaten me?!? Unbelievable!
Anyhow, due to our living situation, like I said it’s going to be tough to just bail like this. I’m forced to pick her up from the airport when she arrives. I’m in an awkward situation here guys. I’m still figuring out my plan, but confused on how to do this. It’s going to get really dirty when I brake the news to her that I don’t want marriage, and kids. It’s not like she can just up and leave my house because she’s going to need a moving van to haul all the s~~~ out of here, and even if she does, where is she going to go!? If I brake it to her immediately upon her return, then it could be days of uncomfortable communication, and extreme distance. How am I going to sleep in the same bed with her at night knowing what’s to come? Also what about the bank account? If I transfer my share of the money now, she will notice when she checks her bank!
Thing is, when we are NOT arguing, everything is fun. We have fun together, laugh, act silly, have great sex etc. So to a degree, I enjoy her company at times. There is something about her that draws me to her and I’m not sure if I want to completely brake it off with her. I obviously do NOT want marriage and kids for sure.
So this is my current plan, let me know what you guys think:
When she arrives, I will pick her up from the airport like I’m happy to see her. Take her home and explain my new notions. That I do NOT want marriage or kids. Now, if she doesn’t give me the “well if you won’t marry me, then I don’t want to be with you” speech and agrees to stay with me, unhitched, I will state my decision to move into an apt with her under MY name, and we just split the rent. An apartment is much less of a liability than a house, in the event things go sour, you can just get up and move out of an apt. A house requires MUCH more than just up and go, and we all know that. I think this is the best idea since if things go bad, she can move out, and I’ll just keep the apt for myself. Does anybody have a better idea?
I’ve put so much time, effort, energy, money, and commitment into her and never cheated on her once. Last year, I was convinced she was the one for me. I remember telling all my friends and family how happy I was with her. Now, I’m not so sure… A big part of me wants to just get my own place, live alone and start fresh. The other part of me wants to get an apt together. Worst case scenario, if it doesn’t work, she can just leave because either way, I NEED to get out of my parents house. Living here might have caused a lot more to the problems/arguments we’ve been having lately.
I don’t want to seem blunt or rude here. I realize your situation is a complicated one. But the two of you have diverging interests for yourselves. She expects you to sacrifice your interests to serve hers. She has imposed that expectation onto you, and is determined enough to have backed it up with a threat. So you have a decision to make.
She is focused and determined because she is on a mission with the highest stakes of anything she will ever do in her life. This is also the highest stakes decision you will ever have presented to you to make. You marry and father kids with the wrong person, and your life can NEVER be placed back on the path you were on prior to that mistake.
If you make the decision to serve your interests instead of hers (and everyone else’s who she’s recruited to help impose that expectation on you), then you should expect resistance. In order to overcome that resistance, you will need to be more focused and determined than she is.
When I’ve been in situations like yours, I have gotten through them by condensing down what I need to say to as few words as possible, and then not matter what form the resistance takes, I just keep repeating those same few words over and over until they give up and leave me alone.
Try: “I have decided that getting married and having kids is not something I’m willing to do. If that inspires you to want to change the terms of the relationship you have with me, now would be the time for you to say so…”. This will work for her, your parents, her parents… anyone else who thinks it’s any of their business… Just repeat it to whoever needs to hear it.
As for the specific details of ‘the plan’, they are not as important as remaining focused on your goal with the same determination that she has for achieving her goals. Wether you live with your parents, in an apartment or a card board box… wether you live with her or not … doesn’t really matter so much as not signing the contract. You sign a marriage contract and she will most definitely ‘RULE YOU’ regardless of how much she may have had to drink at the time she said it. IT WILL HAPPEN.
If you don’t believe that signing a marriage contract is the best way to serve your own interests, DO NOT DO IT. The rest of the details don’t matter nearly so much as remaining focused on this one. My guess is that as soon as she realizes that you are not going to be any use to her in her mission to achieve her goals, she’ll quickly develop her own exit plan…
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
When she gets back from her trip, my goal is to f~~~ her, then take her out to dinner and talk to her about my new boundaries.
That seems like a waste of money feeding her. Why bother? And f~~~ing her is just asking for a rape accusation when you drop the bomb. Or worse, a spermjacking attempt since she already knows there’s a hitch in her plans.
I get the strong impression you already know what you want, and it isn’t her. You’ve already made your decision, so now it’s time to act on it. I assume she’s living with you in your house. First things first, GO SEE A LAWYER and see where you stand with bulls~~~ “common law marriage” crap. When she gets back from her trip, you should already have her stuff packed up and hand her the keys to the storage locker you put it in. Open a new bank account and transfer half your joint account into it so you can just hand her the old account. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Maybe even generously spring for a week at a motel for her while she finds a new place to live. If this seems harsh consider that it’s exactly what she would be doing to you, and all her friends would congratulate her on being “smart” and “independent” for doing it to you.
What you do NOT want to do is what you are planning on doing. You know things will get ugly, but I don’t think you know just how ugly. Telling her about your change in plans but continuing to let her live with you will only give her time and opportunity to screw you over. You do not want to give her that opportunity because she will take it. She will hide her plans behind a veil of “acceptance”. She will lawyer up. She will screw you over, hard, at first opportunity. Don’t give her that chance.
Lawyer. Packed stuff. Storage unit. One week motel. Freedom.
You: Anyhow, due to our living situation, like I said it’s going to be tough to just bail like this. I’m forced to pick her up from the airport when she arrives. I’m in an awkward situation here guys.Me: No you aren’t. She can call a cab. I have not seen any law that forces you to pick anyone up from anywhere for any situation.You: I’m still figuring out my plan, but confused on how to do this. It’s going to get really dirty when I brake the news to her that I don’t want marriage, and kids.Me: Who cares? Why do you feel you are responsible for her emotional state at this time? The only person that can make you happy is you. Her happiness and emotional well being is her own responsibility. In fact, you don’t have to explain Jack S~~~ to her. Just saying, “It’s over, get out,” is more than enough.You: It’s not like she can just up and leave my house because she’s going to need a moving van to haul all the s~~~ out of here, and even if she does, where is she going to go!?Me: This is not your responsibility. It is her stuff, not yours. Where she goes? Who cares? Again, not your responsibility. If you think about it, she can up and leave.You: If I brake it to her immediately upon her return, then it could be days of uncomfortable communication, and extreme distance. How am I going to sleep in the same bed with her at night knowing what’s to come?Me: Um, why do you feel you need to let her sleep in your place again? Sounds like she needs to get to a Motel 6.You: Also what about the bank account? If I transfer my share of the money now, she will notice when she checks her bank!Me: Who f~~~ing cares? Taking out just your “share” and no more isn’t illegal. In fact from what I can tell most women wipe out an entire account right before really f~~~ing over the man that put most of the money in there.The point is this girl isn’t for you. She will no longer be part of your long term life goals. How she feels and what she could possibly do are none of your concern unless she tries to come after you. Just document everything and move on. She’ll cry. She’ll scream. She’ll threaten you. She’ll try to make your life hell. She can only make your life hell if you let her. You are not legally married. Get her the f~~~ out and do what you want to do.Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.
Anonymous5wow, it’s not going to be easy, no matter which way you go.
What a sticky situation with you both living at your parents house and needing a truck to move her stuff as well.
You’ll feel like s~~~ with your parents, her parents and just about everyone in your current world, including yourself, because you sincerely meant what you said at the time when you discussed your future.
None of us want to think we’re not honourable, we’d all like to think we keep our word.Now you must have an idea what it’s like for guys who’ve sincerely proposed, happily told everyone, sent out all the invites, made all the wedding arrangements including replies from people making plans to go.
In the process, their NAWALTs have changed to Bridezillas.
Up till then it was all fun and romance and passion and understanding and dreams and the hottest sex they’d ever had.
The Bridezilla routine is one of the biggest red flags a female can wave at you and most guys see it but make the mistake of thinking it’s all going to end as soon as the wedding is over (well so they say, 5,10,15,20 years later),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lol
Ben Afflect saw the truck coming, and got off the road, and made a fool of himself doing so at the time,,,,emphasis,,,,,,AT THE TIME
and you’ll look like a fool or a bastard too, for a week, a month, maybe even a year.Now you know why people stay in dreadful marriages for up to ten years or more past their use-by date.
Because it’s just too much drama, tears, shame, guilt and fighting to end it. It’s just easier to go on one more day, go with the flow.
She’s already morphing from the NAWALT stage from what you’ve described, that’s why you noticed the “I will control you” line.
If you think it’s sticky now, read your headline,,throw in a mortgage, kiddies and 5 to 25 years of your life,,and you’ll know what f~~~en sticky is.I’ll repeat. This relationship is over. It was over the moment you realized that this woman is an invader who is trying to take over your life.
Now you can do this one of two ways… The blue pill way which is to retain the feeling that you owe her and her family something (a feeling they have created in you for their own benefit) and try to make this as easy for her as possible, or the red pill way which is to unplug and flush yourself before they figure out what has happened in your mind and turn you into mulch.
I guarantee that if you try to do this the former way, what you probably think of as the “right” way, she will do everything she can first to rope you back in with crying, begging, promises and social pressure and then, regardless of whether you stand firm or fold, to destroy you in the most painful way possible… whether it’s three months or three years from now.
If you take the red pill, however, you will have to do some things that you currently feel are against your ethics (against their best interests, really) but you have the greatest chance of escaping intact.
I feel you are talking yourself into staying at this point, and maybe even trying to work it out. Just wait until she executes the plan to keep you around… she’ll go back into Ideal Girlfriend mode and treat you super nice and give you the best sex she can while her family embraces you and encourages you to “do the manly thing”… and you will fold. It sounds like that’s partly what you want… for everything to work out like the fairy tale… and it also sounds like you don’t want to have to go through the pain and difficulty of tearing this duct tape bandage off… so good luck with that and remember what we said when you find yourself in divorce court fighting over a kid or in a hospital because she tried to cut your dick off.
I’ll repeat. This relationship is over. It was over the moment you realized that this woman is an invader who is trying to take over your life.
Did you ever watch one of those nature shows where the wasp paralyzes a spider and lays its eggs in the spider’s living body?
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
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