Just out of Jail

[Anonymous 42]

Robot, I’m glad you’re back. I was beginning to worry about you!
What I’m going to tell you is important,,, please listen,,,,
She used the law over the man (you) That’s her idol (the law), she favors the stability of the law over “your word”, “the law owns her now”, and “you own you”, your kids are in between.
If you give her one cent more than the LAW (her new owner) affords from you, it will never end, you’ll be feeding the monster she now must live with. The LAW has become your new slave master, whatever she says means absolutely nothing! If she p~~~es the money away, to BAD! Tell HER NO! And mean it! Give her nothing! let her go to the state and explain her predicament and how her life is totally out of control! The only thing you need to “honor” is what the law mandated from you in spite of “YOUR WILL”. When she wants over and above that which is “mandated by law”, tell her “tell it to the judge!”, send her to her new “man of the house”, the law.
Write her off as another lost soul to reap the rewards of this gynocentric machine of injustice.
The more men stand as you have so valiantly stood, the more it will overload this monster of female creation, what I prefer to call THE BEAST! Robot, I promise you life will get better, stay strong, Your spirit will rejuvenate every time you surrender her to the monster of her own making! Fair is fair, just is just, you’re not a doormat for anyone to wipe their feet on! You’re a man! Women need to learn what men do when women turns on man. Just do it!
Any surrender of any kind on your behalf is letting her have it both ways! And YOU getting it shoved up your ass “BOTH WAYS!”.
Brother I’m pulling for you! I’ve been in dark storms myself, I’ve seen the calm waters after the storm, STAY ON COURSE! Keep your sails as tout as possible without ripping or breaking a mast! Calmer waters are ahead, get out of the storm! Tell her NO! NO MORE! You owe her no more misery! YOU NEVER DID!

[HitmanParticipant]

Bro , once they toss you in jail it’s OVER ! I been thru the same..house kid n all .
JAIL=GAME OVER !

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

There is no quick way to end the nagging and bitching for more money. And, you can be assured that NO AMOUNT of money you could possibly send her would be enough. If you could somehow give her everything she is asking for, you would only have succeeded in delivering her the message that she has not asked for enough, and her demands would increase…

She has been led to believe that she is worth something and that she is owed something, but no one ever specified exactly how to measure or calculate what the amount is. So, she is left to figure that out for herself. Since it is not a legitimate debt in the first place, there really is no way for her to come up with an exact number. The biggest fear of this woman, and millions of others like her, is that they’ll not ask for enough, leave some money on the table, and be ridiculed for it by other women. Not having a way to calculate specifically, and fearing ridicule for guessing low, the only option remaining is to guess high and demand more than every other woman has. Think of the result of a population of women each demanding more than every other woman… It’s mathematically impossible for any of them to ever be content.

For most of her life, she has had the message from her environment, the media, family, etc that she is somehow special and entitled, and that being required to make the effort to be responsible for herself and her decisions is beneath her. She liked that message and she came to believe that message, and in her relationship with you, she has had a good taste of “someone else paying her bills for her”. You doing that for her even a little bit, even for a short while, has gone a very long way to proving to her in her mind that the message is true.

Now, she expects it. In her mind, that money she is asking you for is already hers. And her attitude when you don’t pay it is little different from the attitude of a landlord or someone else you owe money to, but haven’t paid. She will throw tantrums, seek revenge, hurt you however she can.

In her mind, that money is already hers. In her mind, you’ve stolen money from her that belongs to her, and you belong in jail for it with all the other thieves… She’s already accomplished that once, hasn’t she?

I don’t believe for a second that you owe her anything near what she believes. But my advice to you is to treat her like someone you really do owe money to, but are unable to pay. Treat her the way you would treat me if you owed me enough money to finance a house and all my expense for the rest of my life, but are not going to pay me.

That is: DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO AVOID HER!!!

If that is not possible, then continue to send her the message that you are not going to pay. Don’t even argue about whether you actually do owe her what she believes. That’s a belief she will never let go of, so let her keep believing that. But just add to it the message that she is not going to get paid what she is owed. She will go through life forever believing that you owe her. But she will have to modify that belief to one where you owe her but didn’t pay. She will not accept that belief willingly. You will have to keep sending her that message over and over.

Let her hear the word “NO” over and over until she starts to expect to hear that. When she expects to hear the word “NO” as firmly as she currently expects to be paid, only then will the tantrums start to subside.

That expectation to be paid has been built up in her mind since she was a child. She’s been told to expect it many hundreds or thousands of times over many years. You have to tell her “NO” at least that many times. And it will probably take many years.

It will be hardest for you here in the beginning because you haven’t had much practice saying it. But like Michael Phelps swimming, or Usain Bolt running, with enough practice, you will become an expert at saying NO… and it will become easy for you.

The sooner you get started, the sooner you get to expert level, the sooner she starts to expect to hear it, and the sooner the tantrums start to subside. You need practice saying it. And she most definitely needs to start hearing it.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Anonymous 42]

Yea Robot; what BrainPilot says ^^^^^^ He speaks so eloquently, his words are true and worth more than gold!

[Robot112Participant 156]

Guys I’m sorry to say the horror stories don’t end. She’s been complaining that I don’t spend enough time with the toddler to give her more room. In fact I see him everyday for 2 hours after work and then 4 hours Saturday and 4 hours Sunday, I don’t live near by at the moment.
Today I kept telling her that if that’s the case then the House needs to be sold as quick as possible so I have money to rent a place that is large enough for the children to stay over night. She took this as a threat and said if I continue to threaten her she will go and call an ambulance.
So after I seen my toddler today I got back to my place I’ve seen missed calls from my children, her and even a neighbour. I called my teenage daughter who said that mum has to call an ambulance and I have to go back and watch the toddler for the night.
I knew of course it was a trap and I took my time and had dinner first. (I mean if she needs an ambulance in a real emergency, then the toddler could have stayed with the neighbour or they would have brought him to the hospital). I called them and said it would take 2 hours at least for me to get back there (its already 9pm).
So I get going and when I reach public transport I get the message, “don’t come”. She says she’s going to the doctor on Monday and sort things out with the authorities so I spend adequate time with the little ones.
It only shows you again what a messed up world a borderline personality disorder women is in. This is only the beginning now. She will never leave me in peace. 🙁

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

I can see the pattern of her behaviour quite clearly here. She threatens you to attempt to throw you off guard and react rather than act. Congratulations on seeking help here and running this by us. My way of thinking about how my ex acts is either it is logical or illogical. It’s not ‘worse’ or ‘better’, but rather she texts me something that, after I stop and take time to think about, makes sense or doesn’t. If she says something thats vitriolic or provocative, it’s simply illogical it has no further meaning to me. If she is trying to reasonably negotiate something than that is logical.

Therefore productive words and actions = logical

all else = illogical, nothing more

Your delay to get to your ex, clearly showed her that you weren’t going to fold to her bluff! Excellent work! (chances are she thought you wouldn’t turn up at all!)
She is trying to use a tactic of urgency much like pressure salesmen do to get potential buyers into their pocket

How does one counter this?

You don’t respond to the percieved urgency ( ie not going to her when shes pretending to call an ambulance, if it really happens the health professionals will call anyways)

whenever you feel urgency from her stop, breathe, consult others if necessary, see your best self and act when you feel ready. Please refer to the meta moment.

It is scientifically proven you can retrain how you react to situations, so this is our shining light

You’ve been consulting others to help give you perspectives and offer advice based on experience which is great to help you reframe the situation and think about how to act logically in the situation.

She will try to be a pain in the ass for a while, but will eventually give up when she realises she’s talking to a mountain and not a mat. Especially if you don’t give her an inch.

Whether you realise it or not, you are gradually becoming a mountain. Mountains may experience fires or snow or the spring, yet no matter what they face they are still there afterwards.

Also you need to control your phone, not let your phone control you. Turn the phone off if possible, get a restraining order (if she breaks it she’s already in the s~~~, obvious to say but put the burden on her for once)

It’s hard feeling so hurt after realising the reality of how she has treated you, but remember it’s not about you, it’s about her own insecurity and need for control. Celebrate the fact you have personally grown by understanding this.

I know I’ve given you a lot to think about already but here’s a final thought.

‘If there is a solution to the problem then there’s no need to worry, if there is no solution to the problem then there is not point in worrying’ -buddhist proverb

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[Anonymous 42]

Robot112 wrote:

This is only the beginning now. She will never leave me in peace.

Hey Robot, what are you talking about? Isn’t it “peaceful” being away from her insanity? Isn’t it peaceful when your going on your way to do what “you” need to do? Look at the smaller moments of peace you have being freed from her tyranny in the time you cherish with your kids. The smaller moments will grow in time to engulf your life with happiness and mental stability, you went through the wringer, it takes a while to get your head rewired for mental peace through endurance, and standing on the word “NO”, No more! Not ever! Not me! Not right!

[Robot112Participant 156]

@reddawn and @Mg-Tower thank you for your support again. I’m getting better dealing with this. And yes I am enjoying these quiet moments.
When I see my toddler it can be difficult sometimes when I leave and he cries and asks me not to go, but lucky I still remember what it would be like for him if I would actually stay…world war three…not ever again

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

You’re right about keeping your distance from your ex for the well-being of the kids. The whole notion of ‘staying together for the kids’ is a potentially dangerous one. No one would want to see their parents constantly in conflict and while having separated parents may not be ideal there are advantages. Eg. having two homes, spending more quality time with each parent, spending time away from each parent (absence makes the heart grow fonder) and perhaps more reasons.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[Robot112Participant 156]

Guys it’s been a while now. Things are still better than in hell. Other problems are rising, like my 16 year old daughter just not going to school and with me not being home, nothing I can. She hates her mother and wants to live with me, but I still don’t have no home, I’m still living with friends. I can’t afford place t the moment.
The problem with school is that from 16, she’s not required to go by law and she can drop out without completing high school. I fear that.
What to do?

[Anonymous 42]

Hey Robot, where are ya man, how ya doing? Are you still eating your red pills! Are you in Jail? From the c~~~? Marriage is hell, divorce is the lake of fire! It takes time to ascend from the nonsense and bulls~~~ that’s plagued you in the form of a woman (your X-wife). The X is behind you, your path is clear of the psychological abuse you were receiving, but stop by anyway and let us know how you’re doing, we’re here for ya man…………………….

[HeadstrongParticipant 84]

Yes brother seems to me that you have to start thinking of yourself and your own wishes for a bit if not the rest of your life onwards. I checked thru the replies and yes try find strenght thru anything however odd it might sound to anyone, somehow i felt stessed when i saw your initial post… Cut off all contact and i mean all of em. Ive experienced myself that closest friends acting pawns in relationship issues behind my back, and that.. at least personally makes me puke. Get a new hobby, join a circle for that hobby perhaps, itll help you along the way, concentrating on something else meanwhile.

[DJKevgeezParticipant 141]

Robot112 wrote:

Guys it’s been a while now. Things are still better than in hell. Other problems are rising, like my 16 year old daughter just not going to school and with me not being home, nothing I can. She hates her mother and wants to live with me, but I still don’t have no home, I’m still living with friends. I can’t afford place t the moment.
The problem with school is that from 16, she’s not required to go by law and she can drop out without completing high school. I fear that.
What to do?

Question how did you have a kid then wait 13 years for another???
How was she not getting preg all those years in between?

I havent read every post yet, maybe someone brought it up…
You should consider getting a DNA test for the younger kid.

[DJKevgeezParticipant 141]

Esscee_13 wrote:

Don’t contact her by any means!!! I made that mistake and was lucky not to receive a custodial sentence (Australia). The Bain of my existence also claimed I assaulted her and I was put on an apprehended violence order, she continually texted me for months, one night while drunk I answered a message from her, telling her to f@€# off and leave me alone, she deleted her texts off the phone and took my message to police who charged me with breaking the AVO by contacting her. I then moved 1500 km away to get away from her, then one night I get home from fishing to find her on my doorstep, a mate slipped up telling his missus where I was and she in turn relayed the information to the spawn of hell that is my ex. As I approached my doorstep she said I want you back, your mine and you know it, I replied ” I’d slit my own throat before I’d get back with you. She then smashed a bottle over my head and proceeded to wreck my property. I finally got her away from myself and my property, when the police arrived, as soon as she seen them she started crying saying “he hit me and hit me” “he assaulted me”. The police proceeded to handcuff me even though I protested my innocence. Then a neighbour walked down the drive shouting to the police, why are you locking him up for he didn’t do anything. He then told the police what had happen and stated he was willing to go to court as a witness, the police un-handcuffed me listened then to my side of the story, even though I was assaulted and she lied, she was not charged for any of it. If it wasn’t for my neighbour I would be sitting in prison an innocent man who was the victim of assault not the perpetrator. So my advice is walk away like my ex she lied once she will again to further complete her agenda. Good luck

Damn that was awhile ago right?
You know better now tho.
You have that PFA on her and never stop renewing it.
Also you shoulda called police the second you saw her on your steps.

[Dr. ManUpParticipant 8]

First of all, you need to get representation. Plead to the judge for a public defender if you do not have much money. Many times they are better than paid attornies. In the meantime DO NOT, under any circumstances, contact her or the children or try to “work it out..” Also, do not discuss the case with anyone, not even your best friends. The prosecutor will do anything and everything to trip you up and then you will be permanently fooked. This seem like a flaw in her character and it will only get worse if you go back to her. You are tumbling down the rabbit hole now bruh. Just be sure you land on your feet.

[Robot112Participant 156]

Guys just to update you. I am still doing fine on my own. Loving it! The hassle with her is still there and I think she still thinks I’m coming back. And yes, it’s still not easy, but it’s getting better everyday and I’m very happy I got out.
@djkevgeez why did I have a child 13 years on? I have many theories, but it really doesn’t matter. He is mine, I’m 100% certain of this.
Thanks to all of MGTOW again and again!

[Anonymous 42]

It’s great to hear from ya bro! I was worried that somehow you were in a concrete cell being Buba’s bitch! You can never underestimate the ruthlessness of a psychotic woman! I’m glad you’re A-OK! It’s been little over a month since your last post, stay strong, LIVE FREE!!!

[MemberParticipant 323]

Robot…..

Women with these borderline traits seem to have a talent for finding men who they can torture. They use threats of self harm, neglect of their own children, ruining your career, and anything else they can think of to control you. THEY claim they are being abused and controlled when in fact it is usually THEM doing this to the ones closest to them.

If you are strong willed and you can weather the storms of her outbursts if can smooth out over time. She will never stop acting out completely but she can and will find someone else to torture more frequently than you. It is their nature that someone always has to suffer their wrath. I hope you keep a strong bond with your kids and are always there when they need you. That is the important part that resulted from your relationship with this woman. You are paying a high price for it but someday they will be older and you will not have to deal with their mom anymore. If she calls you hang up, if she sends a letter you mail it back to sender unopened, if she sends an email block her address, if she shows up at the house don’t answer the door, if she acts crazy call the cops and still don’t answer the door. Make it clear you don’t have to ever deal with her again unless YOU choose to.

Good luck sir.

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

Man, you really picked one didn’t you. My ex wife, her brother is going through something similar without jail time though.

It has taken him over a year to get his divorce final (and still isn’t) and throughout it all she has come to his residence stolen property, verbally and mentally abused his son while favoring their daughter, received an inheritance and using it to simply rake up his court costs (so much so he’s now over 15000USD in debt in court costs, lawyer fees), and just ruined every day she could of his through verbally abusive texts, not giving him the kids on his days, etc. It’s the most fantastic story you’ve never heard, just like yours is. I had no idea women were like this!!! What’s the end goal anyway? Does it make her happy to make his life miserable? Is that all there is to life for a person like this?

Those narcissistic women, they’re the worst. They don’t realize their fault, their idiocy and will stop at nothing to get what they want. She even owes him money too but refuses to sell her property to pay as the judge ordered. These women if they don’t end up getting what they want may end up committing suicide upon coming to the realization that life isn’t fair because they didn’t get their way. I know in my ex’s family they are not opposed to this as her mother committed suicide. Mental illness most likely being the culprit.

Godspeed man, I hope things work out for you, stay strong, stay legal, record and document everything.

This can only help you, keep all texts, voicemails, everything. This will only hurt her.

Because as a narcissist, they will use whatever means necessary, even illegal ones. Good for you to some extent.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[hellraiderParticipant 2837]

Hit the ejection switch man!

Completely disengage from that woman.
Anything you do is just going to backfire.
If you go back to here she will just continue to screw you.
if you cut here off society and here female friends will demonize you.

Just run away from here. Dont speak, text, etc to here.

She is just using your children as human shields and weapons agains you.

Just divorce here and run away.

Dont ever again trust woman.

[Author]

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