Is EVERYBODY over 40 miserable?

[MarathonManParticipant 77]

Just had a fantastic GMOW holiday. First time in…. forever that I took a holiday by myself with no partner, no kids and no travel buddy. It was great being able to do whatever the hell I wanted without worrying about anyone else.

I went to the UK, where I grew up, to catch up with family and friends (and run the London marathon while I was there). Before I came I was in touch with a whole bunch of people all of whom said, “Sure – lets catch up and have a drink or 2”.

So after a couple of days hanging out with the old folks and recovering from jetlag I set about meeting some of my old friends I hadnt seen for 20+ years.

First up was Rachel – I hadnt spoken to Rachel since we both left for uni 27?! years ago. We were never romantically associated, but had a lot of stuff in common (same music teachers, same orchestras, both toured Australia together in 1988 etc etc), She had some religious views totally incompatible with mine so we never even came close to contemplating any kind of hookup (not that she wasnt hot enough!). Turns out she now lives in NZ (just across the water from me in Australia really) – and is married with 2 kids, but was hoem visiting her parents the time as I was around. Her life seems to be reasonably positive apart from her husbands business is really on the ropes and the economic fallout for the family is putting them in some severe stress. Anyway we had a pleasant afternoon catching up and strolling along the canal before saying our goodbyes and getting on with our respective holidays.

Next up was Charlotte – Charlotte and I also hadnt really spoken since going away to uni. But unlike Rachel, Charlotte and I had definitely expressed interest in each other back in the day. Unfortunately our timings had always been off and nothing really happened. Charlotte was also running the marathon although planning on taking almost twice as long as I was. We met up at the race registration and had a bit of a chat. Charlottes professional life is going great guns and her medical practice on Harley st in London is clearly keeping her very well. However, her domestic bliss was shattered 2 years ago when her husband (they guy she hooked up with instead of running after me all those years ago) – lost his long battle with a brain tumour. She was left with 4 kids and a bucket load of grief. She has remarried – but clearly is scarred. (For the record – of all the people I caught up withm she seemed the most ‘together’).

Then I had a evening down the pub with my sister – currently separated from her husband has moved out to her own flat and seems to be clueless about how to resolve the situation. They are lucky enough to be financially solvent whatever they decide, but clearly she doesnt want to be with him but doesnt yet have the guts to really sever the ties (they still socialise together and go on holiday with the kids etc etc – its a weird dynamic).

Next up was Lynne… Lynne and I were BFF’s back in the day and regular f~~~-buddies whilst each of us were in lame relationships with other people (yeah yeah – shameful behaviour I know). I was invited to spent an afternoon and evening catching up and reminiscing, so I headed out to the lovely little Englsih village Lynne lives in and we set about drinking ourselves to oblivion and putting the world to rights. Lynne’s husband works out of town during the week and the pair of them never exchange a word. He did actually come home the evening I was there (which I thought might be a little awkward) – but still he just co-existed in their huge house and completely ignored her. Once in the pub and thoroughly inebriated she confided that they hadn’t been intimate for over a year and it was only the threat of financial ruin and ‘being there for the kids’ that kept her around. Of course the next day once he’d buggered off to work and the kids went to school we picked up our friendship the way we used to all those years ago…. {oops – moment of weakness}. We said our goodbyes and I left feeling kind of sad for the empty joyless existence Lynne seems to have now.

Just before I jumped on the plane to head home I got a message from Leonie – The girl I once said I would marry, but never did due to stupid logistical reasons and her rushed response to run off and marry some other dude. We caught up for a drink and once again I heard a tale of a marriage that was existing purely in name only with him out of town for 5 days a week and them barely interacting at the weekends. Leonie and I managed not to cross any lines on this occassion, but I left feeling once again that clearly if I had more time or was in the country on a permanent basis there was an implicit offer on the table.

Weird how the only people who I caught up with were female! None of my guy friends from back in the day actually showed up or made an effort to be available and all the women I caught up with had some kind of tale of misery to share.

In some respects it was a fantastic ego boost to feel like the women of my past still seemed to be reaching out for me – but in other respects it was horrendously saddening. Everyone seems to have the dull ache of dissatisfaction with their lives. Is this real – or is this a perspective distortion based on my recent lifting of the fog and resultant positivity?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

You’re a man. It gets better for men. MUCH better. They don’t tell you this when you’re 18 or 21 though. Just when their SMV is about crater, they want to lock you down and trap you before you even begin to conceptualize ( or realize ) your own potential. It’s not universally carved in stone for every man, of course. But it certainly fits general observation.

Remember what it was like when you were 12 / 15 / 17 / 21 . . . ?
Remember what little baby women were like?

They started this game.
But nature has a very interesting way of restoring the balance.

MarathonMan wrote:

In some respects it was a fantastic ego boost to feel like the women of my past still seemed to be reaching out for me – but in other respects it was horrendously saddening

I found it irritating – and I’m embarrassed for them. Like they think we’re stupid and don’t remember. One reached out to me 28 years since I saw her last in the 10th grade. Another one from school who I knew in 1986 ( but never dated and haven’t seen since ) is divorced single mom now. Flirting up a storm. I said “You’re funny. If It didn’t happen back then . . . . why would it happen NOW?”

Another one I knew for 15 years never said a kind word to me in all the time I knew her. Oh, she would say “you can take me to dinner but it’s not date.“… and “keep your hands to yourself, mister“. Like I was a rapist who couldn’t control himself ( even when I had another girlfriend ) and she was SO IRRESISTIBLE that I couldn’t even behave cordially with her, and I needed to be verbally restrained.

Now she’s in her mid-30s , her eggs are drying up – and so are her prospects – and I get emails every Christmas signed “XXX” and “I love you and miss you” – after 5 years of no contact. I’m not kidding. Here’s a snapshot of it.

That’s when a man gets to say “You can give me a blowjob, but it’s not a date”.

Enjoy the f~~~ out of it.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[OldBillParticipant]

Is everyone over 40 miserable?

Only the married ones.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[DybbukParticipant 182]

Sometimes this forum feels only a small half-step removed from PUA forums. On PUA forums, guys brag about getting laid. Here, guys talk about how women flirt with them or come on to them, but of course we turn up our noses at those women. In both places there’s the impression that men are seeking status among other men based on their ability to attract women. It just doesn’t seem very MGTOW to me.

Is there an example of a participant on this forum who admits that he’s lousy at attracting women, without excusing it by saying “but I don’t want them anyway”, and that guy is still popular and well-respected here? If the answer is “no”, then I propose that the culture here is dangerously corrupted (given the tenets of MGTOW).

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Dybbuk wrote:

Sometimes this forum feels only a small half-step removed from PUA forums.

Well it’s a men’s forum before it’s anything else. So the topics will range anywhere from “I never really had a relationship” to “married & divorced 2 times”. That can reasonably be expected with members ages ranging from roughly 18 years to 70+.

Dybbuk wrote:

Is there an example of a participant on this forum who admits that he’s lousy at attracting women

Yes I just admitted that above. I admitted I was lousy attracting women in my younger years but the point was that the dynamic has shifted remarkably over time – with seemingly zero effort except the passage of time. Tom Leykis (video above) also admits he was lousy at attracting women too, but is he really “corrupted” if they come running after him for his money, status and fame?

He even admits he is a “-1” on a scale of 1 to 10.

I, on the other hand am not.

I haven’t had a “relationship” in 12 years. Is that MGTOW enough?
Are we really expected to be repugnant ogres? Else the forums are “corrupt”?
Because that’s what everyone ELSE thinks MGTOW are: “losers who can’t get laid”.

Then I am happy to disappoint. What if they CAN get laid, but just don’t want to?
Why is that so hard for others to accept?

The occasional bang doesn’t influence what life direction and serious decisions and choices you might take. Im a MGTOW since I started my first job overseas at 17. Escaped the marriage noose at least 5 times. I wasn’t aware that I needed to look like SHREK else “the forums are corrupt”.

Please.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I once read a news article that stated men in their 50s were generally happier than men in their 40s. I’m in my 40s and I’m miserable as hell. It has nothing to do with marriage/kids, though. My life just sucks right now.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[KeymasterKeymaster]

FunInTheSun wrote:

I’m in my 40s and I’m miserable as hell

Oh I can second that. 38-45 was no picnic for me either, but they were still better years than my 20s… when I roamed around constantly terrified about tomorrow and worrying about things before they happen. Took a half a lifetime to undo that s~~~ty programming.

FunInTheSun wrote:

I once read a news article that stated men in their 50s were generally happier than men in their 40s

I’ve heard that too.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[bagsofsandParticipant 1391]

Dybbuk wrote:

Sometimes this forum feels only a small half-step removed from PUA forums. On PUA forums, guys brag about getting laid. Here, guys talk about how women flirt with them or come on to them, but of course we turn up our noses at those women. In both places there’s the impression that men are seeking status among other men based on their ability to attract women. It just doesn’t seem very MGTOW to me.

Is there an example of a participant on this forum who admits that he’s lousy at attracting women, without excusing it by saying “but I don’t want them anyway”, and that guy is still popular and well-respected here? If the answer is “no”, then I propose that the culture here is dangerously corrupted (given the tenets of MGTOW).

Sure. I’ll be the first to let you know that I’m not especially popular among women. (But I’m new here so, yeah) I’m a lousy 5/10, or 6/10 on a good day FWIW, and since I don’t play White Knight OR Bad Boy to these hoes, I’m basically ignored, except when they want favors from me. Which is fine. I don’t want these c~~~s anyway! (I’m serious, they can F~~~ OFF)

I love hearing about those stories when men REJECT the baffled over-the-hill women, though. It’s like crack hahahahaha. One day I might not even give a f~~~ about reading that though, time will tell I guess.

[bagsofsandParticipant 1391]

Keymaster wrote:

FunInTheSun wrote:

I’m in my 40s and I’m miserable as hell

Oh I can second that. 38-45 was no picnic for me either,

Dude, I’m about to enter my 40’s. Gimme a peptalk now, will ya…
(I’m kidd’n)

[KeymasterKeymaster]

bagsofsand wrote:

Dude, I’m about to enter my 40’s. Gimme a peptalk now, will ya…

Challenge accepted.

You said….

bagsofsand wrote:

I’ll be the first to let you know that I’m not especially popular among women

I remember a comment underneath a video on youtube I will never forget. It was a video about a divorce rape that wound a man in prison through no fault of his own. The commenter said “I always felt kinda bad that I wasn’t good enough, handsome enough or rich enough for women to want to date or marry. But now…. I’m inclined to CELEBRATE it.”

That should do until you’re 50.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 1]

Dybbuk wrote:

Sometimes this forum feels only a small half-step removed from PUA forums. On PUA forums, guys brag about getting laid. Here, guys talk about how women flirt with them or come on to them, but of course we turn up our noses at those women. In both places there’s the impression that men are seeking status among other men based on their ability to attract women. It just doesn’t seem very MGTOW to me.

Is there an example of a participant on this forum who admits that he’s lousy at attracting women, without excusing it by saying “but I don’t want them anyway”, and that guy is still popular and well-respected here? If the answer is “no”, then I propose that the culture here is dangerously corrupted (given the tenets of MGTOW).

Men are attracted by the pussy like gravity make everything fall to the ground, once you accept that as an universal truth, you can both tame your brain and penis, or you can play following certain rules that will ensure you are safe enough. As an example from MarathonMan, I would not go to the house of a married woman where her husband and kids live, even if they do not talk each other, that is not a good reason to bang that whore(I do not care for all the rationalizations she can give you about not enough money/b~~~~/will to end the marriage or even the cohabitation, you are married and live under the same roof with your husband and kids, even if this means nothing to people today, it means a lot to me).

But it is his own way, not mine. To me women that are married, have kids, a husband who works and bring money on the table, lovers who f~~~s them whenever they want to(believe me, if she cucked her husband with you she is doing the same with at least another man), are the ones that want the cake and want to eat it all.

Fact is, believing (most if not all) women is a retarded thing to do(at least believe 100% of what they say), she will OBVIOUSLY portray herself as the victim of the situation, because they are NEVER happy, she may have Brad Pitt sucking her pussy and Bill Gates fueling her credit card, and she would say “man, my life sucks so much”, f~~~ that!

It takes time to see through the bulls~~~, and I really think MarathonMan was caught up in the past(happens to everyone), and missing all those years he cannot know what really happened to those old time friends. One thing is for sure, meeting an old friend in an excellent opportunity to play the victim and enjoy some emotional distress, if you(MM) were an asshole you would say “why you married him? why you had kids with him? why you are still living under his roof?” and watch the hamster going off the rails. Do you think her husband loves living with a wife that do not even say one word to him and cucks him in his house?

[TheStormWithinParticipant 778]

Dybbuk wrote:

Sometimes this forum feels only a small half-step removed from PUA forums. On PUA forums, guys brag about getting laid. Here, guys talk about how women flirt with them or come on to them, but of course we turn up our noses at those women. In both places there’s the impression that men are seeking status among other men based on their ability to attract women. It just doesn’t seem very MGTOW to me.

Is there an example of a participant on this forum who admits that he’s lousy at attracting women, without excusing it by saying “but I don’t want them anyway”, and that guy is still popular and well-respected here? If the answer is “no”, then I propose that the culture here is dangerously corrupted (given the tenets of MGTOW).

I’m not really seeing any parallels to a PUA community, myself. I don’t really know much about PUA, but I’m assuming a PUA forum would be primarily devoted to how to pick women up, which I don’t see a lot of here.

I still have sex with women, but I absolutely refuse to get involved in a relationship with them and damn sure will never contemplate marriage. My intent here is to share my experiences and thoughts for anyone who is wondering if you can truly be happy outside the confines of a relationship and marriage. My feeling is you absolutely CAN, whether it’s by writing women off completely or having strictly sexual relations.

I am also letting other men know it’s perfectly acceptable to be selfish. In this f~~~ed up world, you have to be in order to possess any sort of defense mechanism against the corrupt systems we have in place. I’ve watched too many of my fellow men (some of which are family) have their lives obliterated to the point of considering and attempting suicide to sit back silent on the matter.

You can still have a fulfilling life without following dangerous traditions, and getting this message across means more to me than any sort of “status”. This may be “just an internet forum”, but I have no doubt in its ability to offer an abundance of proverbial food for thought, and perhaps change lives for the better as a result.

Aunt Esther: Fred, I'll have you know this body was blessed by Mother Nature!! Fred: Well, too bad your face was cursed by Father Time!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

Men are attracted by the pussy like gravity make everything fall to the ground, once you accept that as an universal truth, you can both tame your brain and penis,

This – and sharing our experiences – is VITAL because there are still Elliot Rodgers out there who off themselves because they aren’t getting any trim…. or don’t have a girlfriend…. or whatever. They need to learn FAST ( and early ) that rejection from women is as worthless as her approval. They need to hear it from guys who have HAD girlfriends and know they are not missing out on anything so tragic that they need to throw themselves in front of a goddam train – like my friend Todd when he was only 19.

DEAD. At 19. Over a f~~~ing break up.

This ( snapshot below ) is all anyone needs to know.
Is this “too PUA” for anyone??

Complaints can be filed right here.

—

My friend Todd never had the luxury of finding out if he would be “40 and miserable”. But I know one thing. If he could revisit himself today, he would bitchslap himself into oblivion for that.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[bladeParticipant]

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bagsofsandParticipant 1391]

Keymaster wrote:

bagsofsand wrote:

Dude, I’m about to enter my 40’s. Gimme a peptalk now, will ya…

Challenge accepted.

You said….

bagsofsand wrote:

I’ll be the first to let you know that I’m not especially popular among women

I remember a comment underneath a video on youtube I will never forget. It was a video about a divorce rape that wound a man in prison through no fault of his own. The commenter said “I always felt kinda bad that I wasn’t good enough, handsome enough or rich enough for women to want to date or marry. But now…. I’m inclined to CELEBRATE it.”

That should do until you’re 50.

Thanks, man. We all need those motivating bits to put things into perspective. I do value and enjoy my life as a free man. (Or as much as society allows me..)

[bagsofsandParticipant 1391]

Keymaster wrote:

Math wrote:

Men are attracted by the pussy like gravity make everything fall to the ground, once you accept that as an universal truth, you can both tame your brain and penis,

This – and sharing our experiences – is VITAL because there are still Elliot Rodgers out there who off themselves because they aren’t getting any trim…. or don’t have a girlfriend…. or whatever. They need to learn FAST ( and early ) that rejection from women is as worthless as her approval. They need to hear it from guys who have HAD girlfriends and know they are not missing out on anything so tragic that they need to throw themselves in front of a goddam train – like my friend Todd when he was only 19.

DEAD. At 19. Over a f~~~ing break up.

This ( snapshot below ) is all anyone needs to know.
Is this “too PUA” for anyone??

Complaints can be filed right here.

—

My friend Todd never had the luxury of finding out if he would be “40 and miserable”. But I know one thing. If he could revisit himself today, he would bitchslap himself into oblivion for that.

This makes this site so incredibly important, and sharing the ‘truth’ with younger guys so they can make up their mind in an INFORMED state of consciousness!
Sorry to hear about Todd – f~~~ing tragedy.

[DybbukParticipant 182]

Keymaster wrote:

Are we really expected to be repugnant ogres? Else the forums are “corrupt”?
Because that’s what everyone ELSE thinks MGTOW are: “losers who can’t get laid”.

Then I am happy to disappoint. What if they CAN get laid, but just don’t want to?
Why is that so hard for others to accept?

The phrase “losers who can’t get laid” demonstrates the problem. Is there such a thing as a guy who can’t get laid, who isn’t a loser?

If the answer is “no”, then we are still stuck in the mindset of deriving our self-worth from women. It should be obvious that this is antithetical to MGTOW.

If the answer is “yes”, then I’m simply making the point that the culture I’ve seen emerging on this forum is falling way short of the ideal. If some guy came along and confessed “I can’t get laid…women won’t give me the time of day” (not in his youth, not in the distant past, but NOW) and got just as much respect and attention as anyone else…then I would be proven wrong.

[Anonymous 1]

Dybbuk wrote:

Keymaster wrote:

Are we really expected to be repugnant ogres? Else the forums are “corrupt”?
Because that’s what everyone ELSE thinks MGTOW are: “losers who can’t get laid”.

Then I am happy to disappoint. What if they CAN get laid, but just don’t want to?
Why is that so hard for others to accept?

The phrase “losers who can’t get laid” demonstrates the problem. Is there such a thing as a guy who can’t get laid, who isn’t a loser?

If the answer is “no”, then we are still stuck in the mindset of deriving our self-worth from women. It should be obvious that this is antithetical to MGTOW.

If the answer is “yes”, then I’m simply making the point that the culture I’ve seen emerging on this forum is falling way short of the ideal. If some guy came along and confessed “I can’t get laid…women won’t give me the time of day” (not in his youth, not in the distant past, but NOW) and got just as much respect and attention as anyone else…then I would be proven wrong.

Go to the introduction section and enjoy some of the new guys that come here and write I AM A VIRGIN AT 30 AND I DO NOT GIVE A F~~~! and see other brothers praising them(not shaming them), because the mentality you are talking about is not what I have seen in the last months on this board. You can still have some redpillers who think with their dicks and see men as a number, where the number are the pussies they smashed, but eventually they understand that it is all a game, and that a guy who f~~~ed 0 pussies and a guy who f~~~ed 100 pussies eventually came to the same conclusions, and one is not better than the other unless you have a strong view of “how things should be about your dick getting inside of pussies”(and you can shove it up your ass for what I care). The difference between those guys may be the alimony/child support to pay, the STDs, the mental problems, etc.

I do not want this to sound harsh, but I guess you are projecting a bit of your insecurity in here, believe me, we do not give a f~~~ about “game” or “plates”, this is MGTOW, not the “hold frame bro club”.

About the “can’t get laid part”, EVERYONE TODAY CAN GET LAID, ever heard about escorts? all you have to do is save some money and go smash one, who is holding you from doing that?
That is just shaming from people that want to attack your view and life-style.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Dybbuk wrote:

The phrase “losers who can’t get laid” demonstrates the problem.

Let’s pause there and look at that first.

That’s not a MAN’s problem…
And it’s not exclusively a MGTOW problem either!!

Guess who else is a “loser who can’t get laid”??
Outwardly attractive young women are making goddam music videos about it.

The statement “you’re a loser who can’t get laid” doesn’t actually say anything about you – or a man’s self worth – as determined by women. It says everything about HER.

The accusers who presume it have just openly admitted that a simple sex act – and a f~~~ – is the BEST thing a woman has to offer.

• They don’t say: “You can’t get a woman to TALK to you”.
• They don’t say: “You can’t get a woman to LOVE you”.
• They don’t say: “You can’t get a woman to spend TIME with you”.
• They don’t say: “You can’t get a woman to pay ATTENTION to you.”.

…. they say –>> “you can’t get laid” because that’s the BEST they think they can do, and NOT getting it such a devastating tragedy for them. That’s why they use it as a slur with intent to be a hurtful insult. But it’s not. It’s a joke and the joke is on them.

It’s not a problem for a man or a MGHOW. It’s a problem for THEM.
They just admitted a woman’s love, conversation, time and attention is worth less than a F~~~.

It’s as preposterous as shouting “YOU CAN’T HAVE MY PENIS!!!”
But a man knows his time, attention and commitment is worth infinitely more than a shag.

“You can’t get laid” is a pathetic statement on so many levels.
They are instant losers for saying it.

Dybbuk wrote:

Is there such a thing as a guy who can’t get laid, who isn’t a loser?

Interesting question. What exactly did he lose?
A shot at a simple sex act and a possible pregnancy – or an STD???

Wow. Devastating.

Dybbuk wrote:

If the answer is “no”, then we are still stuck in the mindset of deriving our self-worth from women. It should be obvious that this is antithetical to MGTOW.

Well then I’m glad to see we’re in total agreement. So the days not a total loss.

Dybbuk wrote:

If some guy came along and confessed “I can’t get laid…women won’t give me the time of day” (not in his youth, not in the distant past, but NOW) and got just as much respect and attention as anyone else…then I would be proven wrong.

That’s a silly s~~~ test.
Isn’t preserving one’s own self-respect more important?

A MGHOW doesn’t need attention/validation/respect from anyone else.
That’s the only difference between eating a bullet/train and NOT eating a bullet/train over “not getting laid”.

If you still want look for that admission, crack open a beer an head over to the Introductions forum (or elsewhere) and when you’re done, I’ll accept your apology.

Dybbuk wrote:

I’m simply making the point that the culture I’ve seen emerging on this forum is falling way short of the ideal

What could possibly be more “ideal” than saving lives, futures and fortunes?

Perhaps you’re falling way short implying “the forums are corrupt”.

Are you auditioning for Saturday Night Live?
Apparently Alec Baldwin is leaving.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

OldBill wrote:

Only the married ones.

And the women.

[Author]

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