IS CLOSURE POSSIBLE ?

[Anonymous 1]

CAN’T STUMP TRUMP, GOOD STUFF. RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

Of all the replies, Dorks~~~ may be the closest.

Lol – the name kills me.

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

There is no doubt in my mind that my ex was suffering from some sort of toxic trauma which caused her to bounce from one extreme to another.

She definitely sounds like a borderline.

It’s a tough break when you get involved with an entity of that variety.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

ultra-sexy, super hot Asian lover, who always told me that we were meant to find each other,

If a woman tells me something that she thinks I want to hear, I just assume that she’s lying…

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

A broken man meets a broken woman and they live happily ever after.

Fairytale.

I only reply at a high level because I can never know every detail of someone’s life. I cannot walk in their shoes.

The only thing I know is how important a father and mother is. At the apex a father is the most important person on earth to his child. That is why he is referred to as Christ on earth (image of). But, he is always broken by the mother.

It is best to be able to forgive both parents but if you can’t then it is next best to forgive your father.

I didn’t make the rules up. No matter how broken you are, your father is the key.

BTW, she is broken too. Women are a mess.

Men are stupid and women are crazy. Women are crazy because men are stupid.

Men, don’t be stupid.

Peace brothers

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

Anonymous wrote:

Most likely you will see that life goes on. People are replaced. Kids grow. And the sands of time cover all human folly.

This is beautiful.
***

Not much to add that hasn’t already been said but:

Anonymous wrote:

Whenever I start to get sad, I try to remember: all the lies she told me, all the times she made me wait for her (sometimes never showing up at all), all the times she become unreasonably jealous, and the time(s) she cheated on me to punish me, and all the other things she did that p~~~ed me off.

This says it all mate. That’s the personification of an unhealthy relationship.

Judge by ACTIONS, not words or memories.

After 25 years, you NEED to move on for your own sanity.

Look at your life now. It’s NO DOUBT significantly better than that s~~~ show.

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

Autolite wrote:

If a woman tells me something that she thinks I want to hear, I just assume that she’s lying…

Adding this to my collection of quotes.

Quality. <3

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Anonymous wrote:

I had a horribly abusive childhood: beatings, broken bones, starvation, locked in closets for days at a time, at the hands of my step-father. He may have hurt my body, but he never got to my heart and soul.
Surprisingly, it is my mother who wrecked my heart, for I blame her for failing to protect me.

This helps narrow it down. I am not a doctor. Not an expert. I am nothing.

My observation would be that you were taken away from your father as a child.

You think you blame your mother for not protecting you. But that is wrong at a child’s thought level.

A man knows that a woman (mother) cannot protect. It is not her nature. A woman makes bad decisions. They choose a man (step father) (single mothers are an abomination). Your mother was probably little more than a child mentally. (But it matters not)

Your deep deep issue is being separated from your father. It is traumatic to a child. It has to be. It’s like a rule. A hard rule.

I dont know if your father is still alive. If he is you need to go to him and speak inn a man level. Real hard stuff.

If he is dead, you have to speak with him. I did it this way. I went to the earliest childhood memory I had as a child and said “I forgive you for not protecting me”

Something happened because I have never been that same child since. I know it is crazy talk. I know brother.

All I know is that for some reason a father is the forge. Only his forge can temper the broken pieces back together. You come out a man made of steel.

The problem is, going into his forge is tough. It is the hardest thing a boy can ever do.

Good luck brother

Peace brothers

[Anonymous 1]

I’ll say this for the benefit of any lurkers, because most on this topic don’t agree with what I’ve said.

It’s not normal or healthy to ruminate over a relationship that ended 25 years ago. Anyone that say it is fine is doing you a disservice and enabling a type of thinking that you have been stuck on for a long long time.

You don’t want to be on your death bed thinking about some bitch.

There are some memories in life we can never let go of – this shouldn’t be one.

Maybe I sound arrogant. I’m not a psychiatrist but it doesn’t take one to realise this is not rational thought.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

Now I wouldn’t wish violence on anyone but I had no sympathy when I heard her new, knuckle dragging fella had kicked the s~~~ out of her and broke her jaw in several places.

#METOO, Joller! My X-GF had her femur broken with a baseball bat that she needed a hip socket replacement, the bone died where Angry Chad decided to beat her with a bat! I never touched her but in the world of neanderthal knuckle dragging justice I would have beat her f~~~ing ass!

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

I never touched her but in the world of neanderthal knuckle dragging justice I would have beat her f~~~ing ass!

Same here. A woman can drive a man to violence even when it’s foreign to his nature.

We’re too smart for that though.

After knuckle dragging goon layed my ex out, she began running round the street with her jaw hanging down and completely hysterical – so much so that she scared people off from helping her and no cars would stop.

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

Joller984 wrote:

Now I wouldn’t wish violence on anyone but I had no sympathy when I heard her new, knuckle dragging fella had kicked the s~~~ out of her and broke her jaw in several places.

#METOO, Joller! My X-GF had her femur broken with a baseball bat that she needed a hip socket replacement, the bone died where Angry Chad decided to beat her with a bat! I never touched her but in the world of neanderthal knuckle dragging justice I would have beat her f~~~ing ass!

It’s funny that you say that. Years AFTER the breakup, I was in therapy was a male therapist and he told me that it sounded like she wanted to be dominated , perhaps even wanted to be beaten. (I always knew when she was sexually satisfied. She would say, and smile, as she drifted off to sleep. “I feel so conquered”)
Her 1st husband regularly beat her and she stayed with him 10+ years.

[Anonymous 1]

Do most guys believe that forgiving my step-father for all the years of child abuse is absolutely necessary ? If so, can it be done without a conversation with him ?

To be perfectly honest, what I’d really love to do is take a baseball bat and beat him into a bloody pulp, yet leave him alive to experience the intense pain. The only reason I don’t is because I know that it would ultimately harm me far more than him.

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

Do most guys believe that forgiving my step-father for all the years of child abuse is absolutely necessary ? If so, can it be done without a conversation with him ?

That’s not forgiveable, my friend. it’s not forgetable either.

Best of luck, mate.

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Do most guys believe that forgiving my step-father for all the years of child abuse is absolutely necessary ? If so, can it be done without a conversation with him ?

Forgiveness requires contrition and repentance on the part of the one being forgiven. In your case, that will never happen, so clearly it cannot be necessary.

What you can do is let go of your (perfectly justified) hatred. That is your end of the forgiveness equation.

If your step-father sincerely asked for your forgiveness, would you pardon him? When you reach the point where you believe you could, then you’ve done what’s right. But I won’t call it necessary, because were I in your place, I don’t think I could do it.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[Anonymous 1]

Can’t Stump Trump wrote:

What you can do is let go of your (perfectly justified) hatred. That is your end of the forgiveness equation.

This is the best way out… probably the only way out.

And to reiterate, your hatred is absolutely justified.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22534]

DorkShit wrote:

A broken man meets a broken woman and they live happily ever after.

Fairytale.

I only reply at a high level because I can never know every detail of someone’s life. I cannot walk in their shoes.

The only thing I know is how important a father and mother is. At the apex a father is the most important person on earth to his child. That is why he is referred to as Christ on earth (image of). But, he is always broken by the mother.

It is best to be able to forgive both parents but if you can’t then it is next best to forgive your father.

I didn’t make the rules up. No matter how broken you are, your father is the key.

BTW, she is broken too. Women are a mess.

Men are stupid and women are crazy. Women are crazy because men are stupid.

Men, don’t be stupid.

F~~~ that, women are crazy all on their goddam own. Dont f~~~ing blame the men for their bulls~~~.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

Do most guys believe that forgiving my step-father for all the years of child abuse is absolutely necessary ? If so, can it be done without a conversation with him ?

To be perfectly honest, what I’d really love to do is take a baseball bat and beat him into a bloody pulp, yet leave him alive to experience the intense pain. The only reason I don’t is because I know that it would ultimately harm me far more than him.

What is forgiveness? The definition says: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender).

So, let us ask ourselves, impartially, would WE forgive a man beating up an innocent kid? Would we say: what happened is no longer important? Or would we strive to see that JUSTICE GETS DONE, and that the proper retribution, according to the rules of society and law, are applied?

This is actually quite simple, there is a division between a criminal and a victim. Should the criminal be spared? Apparently he was spare already from legal consequences, so what is left? Moral indignation?

And then even to that he must be spared????!!!!

“When one acts on pity against justice, it is the good whom one punishes for the sake of the evil; when one saves the guilty from suffering, it is the innocent whom one ​forces to suffer.”
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged,

So, Ramses, I personally would not say “forgive” because that would be YOU condoning INJUSTICE. You are still suffering because of what he did, therefore his guilt only grows.

The way I see it, you suffer because your feelings about the issue that are not yet totally resolved. You have everything bottled up inside yourself. Many of these things cannot be released (find closure as you say) because you think somehow its not ok to have them. Yet you have them…

Let us say that you hate the bastard, and yet not all he did was bad, maybe you can even have a few good memories. That would f~~~ anyone’s brain right there. How about him using those famous words “I am doing it for your own good?”

Now that is some nasty stuff that would make a man go insane. Let me tell you what it is: moral relativism. The ideia that you can balance good with bad, and get neither.

That leads to indecision, doubt, and eventually to self-recrimination. Every kid ends up believing that “he deserved” punishment because he was bad or inherently faulty.

So, I would NOT say “forgive him”. I would say ACCEPT YOURSELF.

For me, many issues where resolved when I simply accepted that I am what I am. Even my faults are my own being, my nature. Going against our own nature is the most unnatural thing we can do. And hurts like hell.

And regarding him: accept also his nature as a evil son-of-a-bitch, that no redeeming quality can mitigate the simple fact that what he did was wrong, was bad, and evil.

And maybe you dont need to “beat him into a bloody pulp”, as much as telling him that he is going to HELL for what he did. Why do you have to deal alone with the problems he created? Let them all out in a conversation with him! Let HIM be the one suffering for a change, not because of what something you do, but because of what HE HAS DONE!

Now that is true justice.

[Anonymous 1]

As far as I am concerned my step-father is an evil son-of-a-bitch who does not feel the least guilt. In my opinion he can not feel compassion for anyone. It’s like there is something missing.

46 years ago, long before I even began to be in touch with who I really am, I tried to confront him with what he did to me. The prick just grinned.

I was emotionally weak back then. If he showed me that grin now, I’d put him in the hospital.

Recently, I found his Facebook account, and I posted all that he did to me. A small thing perhaps but I loved doing it. I just hope people saw my post before he could delete my long poisonous post.

[QuellParticipant 2538]

In your mind she is still that hot twenty something.

Go find a picture of her as she looks today. 70 lbs heavier with deep wrinkles and jacked up teeth is who she is now. Instant boner killer and will erase the person in your mind of who you are pining after.

[Author]

Posts