IS CLOSURE POSSIBLE ?

[StealthParticipant 5340]

Been there. I too spent about twenty years fixated on my “first love.” I decided it was too much and forced myself to stop thinking about her. It took a lot of effort but it worked. I would still dream about her once a year for almost a decade following, but that too has tapered off.

Other things that may help are focusing on her flaws, on the bad parts of your life if you were to still be with her. Face the fact that she wanted to leave you.

In my case I ran across a recent photo of her. She had blown up like a blimp and on top of that was wearing a pig nose mask, which only enhanced the effect. I got a gross impression of her, and realized I had dodged a bullet.

This kind of fixation is in your own head. It’s more about you than her. Honor the time you had with her, but realize you don’t need her. It’s like breaking an addiction; a steep uphill at first, like a freezing cold shower, but then you are less haunted by this part of yourself that is consumed by her. It’s a re-wiring issue.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[StealthParticipant 5340]

Anonymous wrote:

Carnage wrote:

Message from god, he says he doesn’t give a s~~~.

Message to Carnage: You get what you give…

Message to MGtower—EXCEPT with women…

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

25 years is an inexplicable amount of time to still be hung up on a woman.

Sounds to me like there’s an underlying issue here.

There is and underlying issue, Joller, failure to let go of the past and constantly re-live it!

You just have to bite the bullet and move on! Stop focusing on the unfairness and focus on ones self!

We all have broken hearts and wounded souls, crawl from the wreckage and start living a worthwhile life! Getting straight in the head instead of driving yourself to become a basket case!

I have truly RISEN from THE DEAD, brothers! I’ve Risen from my own grave and learned to smile again!

Stealth wrote:

Message to MGtower—EXCEPT with women

Roger that Stealth, women are Exceptional beyond their own understanding!

[GargamelSpectator 29101]

You have most likely been exposed to a borderline personality disordered woman.

And this type can hurt you so bad and deep that it runs back and fourth in your mind for ages.

I have some educational material for you to watch and digest.

https://archive.org/details/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderDangerousPersonalitiesByJoeNavarro

https://archive.org/details/Narcissism_Dangerous_Personalities_by_Joe_Navarro

And this YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYgyEwnHfKOnRNSfuf8n89A

In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim

[Branched offParticipant 10932]

She messed with your head and used the best part of you against yourself for what were only minor gains on her side but which really damaged you.

Some things don’t heal, we just move on the best we can through conscious effort. With time if we build better things, then the small crater holes in our minds are inconsequential.

Its a paradox but closure is only possible if your heart and mind will allow it to be. If you had no heart it would be so easy. It is very rare to find a man with no heart. Women with no heart are unfortunately relatively common.

Just try to fill your life with better things. From time to time you can revisit it and see if it is less significant or makes more sense now but then try to leave it alone again. This is not always possible to do willingly so the more good stuff you have that demands you attention the better.

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[Anonymous 1]

Listen to this song. Read the lyrics.

Say it with me now: “Don’t Look Back!!!”

[Anonymous 11]

Sometimes we have to learn to roll our own closure for ourselves.

I would like to say thanks to the all of the women who taught me this valuable skill. It works in all situations that require closure.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

25 years?? Get professional, masculine help. NOW.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

I would like to say thanks to the all of the women who taught me this valuable skill. It works in all situations that require closure.

Uncle C knows how to close a door and step in a brand new room full of optimism and void of pessimism! A man without doors and door-locks is a man with nothing at all!

If a man hasn’t locked himself in his own wheelhouse he’s chartered by others to meet his own destruction!

PERIOD!

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

There are things I want closure on and have achieved that in all cases but my son. He hurt me more than I thought anyone could.

I will never forget how he threw me under the bus so he could move to Hawaii and not do homework at his mom’s.

Never. It reveals a dark side of personality that is easy to forget. I keep those lessons and keep up my guard when in a dangerous situation. For example, his grandmothers birthday was on 7/2 and I tried to get him to call her. After three requests by me to call her he sent me a nasty note to cease and desist from further writing of notes or it would be considered abuse. He get’s it from his mom.

He didn’t use those words this time. He did in the past. I will never forget because he will never change.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

It is not about her.

What is the most important thing in a child’s life?

The parents. It is the one thing we all have. You married your mother. (Not always but almost always)

When a man is attached to a woman in his past it is literally an umbilical cord.

In order to cut it you must remember what and why you resent, are mad at your mother.

No child gets out alive. Every woman breaks her child. (No woman is a unicorn)

The father is supposed to protect the child from the mother. (Almost never happens because men are placed in a weak state. Child taken away, etc) (a woman usually finds a way to control the man and destroy, damage, break a child)

The child resents his father and shows hate for him because he really is angry with mommy. He acts (becomes) like his mother and marries his mother. All a viscous circle called living. A complete circle of hate and anger. Perfect!

What is worse is all of us that are this broken father. We have no clue and go through life hating. We are out of order. Separated from our father.

We men are then boys afraid of our mother.

Only path to peace is to rise up to your mother and forgive your father.

I speak from experience. Even if one or both parents are dead, they still control you from their grave.

You dont forgive yourself for what you did.
You forgive them for what they did.

Then you see them as they are. Broken angry people who’s parents broke them.

You know when you are free because you no longer “feel”. You have no emotions. It is just a picture show. No anger at anything or anyone.

Peace brothers

[hmskl’dParticipant 6407]

There are not so good days .. over time, there will be more good days.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

25 years? Seriously??

Last bitch took me about 25 minutes.

It’s like I said, everyone is different. It’s also like what Ramses 2 said, he’d erase the memories if he could but he can’t.

In my own case, I still have bad dreams and you really can’t control your dreams. What helps me though is knowing that the ex-bitch got her payback. She dumped me and married a divorced asshole who beat the s~~~ out of her. They divorced so I know that the asshole got divorce-raped too for a second time!

Sometimes the c~~~s and the assholes actually get what they deserve…each other 😀

[Anonymous 1]

Autolite wrote:

She dumped me and married a divorced asshole who beat the s~~~ out of her. They divorced so I know that the asshole got divorce-raped too for a second time!

Funny you mention that – I got tangled up with a BPD disordered female for about a year. When she ended the relationship I was crushed to hear that she’d immediately moved in moved in with some convict.

Now I wouldn’t wish violence on anyone but I had no sympathy when I heard her new, knuckle dragging fella had kicked the s~~~ out of her and broke her jaw in several places.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Now I wouldn’t wish violence on anyone but I had no sympathy when I heard her new knuckle dragging fella had kicked the s~~~ out of her and broke her jaw in several places.

My ex got no sympathy from me either. Everyone knew that the guy she married was a total asshole. It was clearly stamped on his forehead. Many were quite shocked that she dumped me for such a POS!

You can’t have any sympathy for someone who gets exactly what they knowingly asked for…

[ChristopherParticipant 2478]

Anonymous wrote:

but I had no sympathy when I heard her new, knuckle dragging fella had kicked the s~~~ out of her and broke her jaw in several places.

Well she shouldnt be going to those places – boom boom 🙂
Okay bad joke…

Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready

[Anonymous 1]

Autolite wrote:

You can’t have any sympathy for someone who gets exactly what they knowingly asked for…

Very true.

A friend of my ex’s text me after the break up to taunt me about the new squeeze. I duly ignored her.

That all ended in tears didn’t it lol.

[Anonymous 3]

25 years is a lot, way too much.

Probably you remember about some good sex, and she being hot (to some level) back then. You also remember all the bad s~~~ you have been through.

I know, I also remember my exes and some good sex sometimes… Although, hookers whom I had fun with, were a lot more hot and sex was better. And after sex I could just go wherever I wanted…

After that long time, she won’t be anywhere on the hotness scale.

S~~~, always when I see my ex classmates, I’m happy that I did not marry any of them (not that I had any chance back then… I have more money, life experience, and bigger self esteem now, but they are already ugly, and it was only 15 years or so)

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

All the people saying 25 years is too long or signs of an underlying problem are, in my opinion, severely underestimating the power of the emotional bonds men unconsciously form with women.

Nature designed men to care very strongly and for women barely to care at all. This ensures men will have a powerful lifelong incentive to fulfill their biological role of provider and protector, while ensuring the woman can easily move on to the next man if her mate dies while performing his extremely dangerous and laborious role. If you’ve seen The Last Samurai, you may recall the wife of the samurai killed by Tom Cruise moves on very quickly, straight into the arms of the man who killed her husband no less. That’s female nature in a nutshell.

I’ll probably get hate for saying this, but no, I don’t think closure is possible. For those who forgot a woman in 25 minutes, more power to them, but I seriously doubt there were any strong emotional bonds in those scenarios. Part of self actualization is recognizing the natural limitations of your biology.

Serenity is accepting the things you cannot change. Courage is changing the things you can. Wisdom is knowing the difference.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[Anonymous 1]

Of all the replies, Dorks~~~ may be the closest. I had a horribly abusive childhood: beatings, broken bones, starvation, locked in closets for days at a time, at the hands of my step-father. He may have hurt my body, but he never got to my heart and soul.
Surprisingly, it is my mother who wrecked my heart, for I blame her for failing to protect me.

By some strange way, all of that need for love and protection, got passed on to other women in my life. It’s like I hoped that they could/would fill the great gapping hole in my heart. That is, of course, a crazy, unrealistic, stupid hope. Women don’t heal. They destroy and rip the heart even more.

It took me most of my life to realize that only I can fix myself. It took me most of my life to realize that I, and I alone, can protect myself.

There is no doubt in my mind that my ex was suffering from some sort of toxic trauma which caused her to bounce from one extreme to another. For on one hand she would be the woman of my dreams: ultra-feminine, ultra-sexy, super hot Asian lover, who always told me that we were meant to find each other, THEN, she could turn around and hate me because she IMAGINED I was cheating on her. I never did cheat, but I couldn’t convince her of my faithfulness.

Up and down, around and around, it was like a roller-coaster ride. Her insane jealousy damn near destroyed me.

[Author]

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