I dont know howto not care ?

[AirbanderParticipant 58]

Hello,

I believe i care to much about other humans or mybe i am to emotional human and i value and trust everybody. i am not sure which is correct or not but i get hurt more often and i am not able to make friends. as far women goes i think i care about them and they either take advantage of that or they dont see value in me. so while in here in MGTOW i wanted to mybe change some of my believes. in short words Learn not to care when dealing with human and women.

so my question is

1- How do i learn to not care ?
2- How do i learn not to put value on others and women ?
3- is there is local group of MGTOW also or is this only Online based community ?

for rest of you if you like to know my story i actually have created them last year when i first discover MGTOW
so here are the links

/forums/topic/help-need-to-understand/
/forums/topic/new-to-world-mgtow/
/forums/topic/my-discovery-of-the-matrix-true-story/
/forums/topic/how-to-avoid-the-temptations/

Thank you very much in advance

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Airbander wrote:

1- How do i learn to not care ?
2- How do i learn not to put value on others and women ?

in order to figure out those questions, ask yourself, why do you care? Do you seek attention or validation?

Airbander wrote:

3- is there is local group of MGTOW also or is this only Online based community ?

from what i know, it is just a online community.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Airbander wrote:

How do i learn to not care ?

“Lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep”.

Say that to yourself a few times. It takes some practice.

Airbander wrote:

How do i learn not to put value on others and women ?

Realize you have been socialized to do so.

I think of it this way…..

A man can and should take himself – and the world – seriously.
What he should NEVER do, is take others too seriously. Especially women.

—

You can start right now, by not taking what I said too seriously. Do what works best for YOU and don’t look to others for social cues.

If a woman won’t admire you for your best qualities, why would you care about how she might criticize you ? Female approval is as worthless as her disapproval. You don’t need it for anything.

If she doesn’t make an effort to MEAN something to you,
then what she has to say should mean NOTHING to you.

Airbander wrote:

wanted to mybe change some of my beliefs

MGTOW is not a “belief” system. It’s very much grounded in reality.

“Lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep”.

It’s good to still care. But knowing when not to is very important.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Always be asking yourself: “What’s in it for me?”

[MuglintarParticipant 1333]

Airbander wrote:

so my question is

1- How do i learn to not care ?
2- How do i learn not to put value on others and women ?
3- is there is local group of MGTOW also or is this only Online based community ?

Re 1: MGTOW does not mean not caring about other human beings. In fact you will find at the very core of the whole thing, it is replacing the role fathers, uncles and grandfathers used to play in upbringing of a son. Some of us come from single mum households (like myself), some from traditional families. We have realized, there is a generation, that had little to no male guidance in their bringing up and are now facing the challenge to be a male role model for their own sons. So men, out of their hard-wired ability to co-operate (masculine competition is feminazi indoctrination) figured out: if I help youngsters or even others who lack knowledge in an area where one of us has knowledge, we will provide guidance, so others may guide our own sons. You see? Men left alone and free of oppression are far more likely to show empathy and support to one another.

Re 2: I sense you do care of others and are hurt. That is ok, but that shouldn’t make you think MGTOW means opting out of society. Even MGTOWs in full-monk mode do not retreat into the woods. We are still part of the society, that is actually one of the factors why such a relatively small group (feel free to correct me, but I’d guess still no more than 0.5% of males would identify as MGTOW) is recognized by quite a number of Media as threat to the female privilege. That is why they desperately try to identify us as “hategroup of losers”. We are leaders, independent, highly-desireable males who refuse to provide their “share” (at least the part gynocentrism considers us to owe them). Do not fall for that trap! Stay a nice person, if you want to, but start treating women like tax-collectors. Polite but no-one really likes them around.

Re 3: I haven’t checked yet, where you are from. There are a number of Groups, but these are mainly MRAs. This community is quite international and therefore mainly Internet based. But maybe you organize a get-together in your area? If one comes here (Hamburg, Germany) I’d sure would like to meet one (or more) of the men I proudly call “my brothers”.

"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Boundaries. Take some time to think about how boundaries exist around everyone.

One good method is to take a piece of white chalk and go outside to a concrete area. Lie down and scribe a line around your outline.

Now lie there and visualize on all of the paths and decisions you could make that would not result in this image.

Stand up and walk around your outline. Take some crime scene tape and attach it to trees in a circular pattern around your outline.

As you move forward in life and events demand a decision remember the image of your outline on the concrete. Avoid making decisions that will result in your chalk outline.

This is the only thing you need to care about.

Peace brothers

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

If you want to be a great cook, from whom should you seek advice: some random derp on the street, or a chef? If you want to be a great baseball player, from whom should you seek advice: some bum on the street, or a professional?

Everyone has an opinion, but the only valuable one is the opinion of the expert. Only wise men are experts at judging human nature. So if someone has an opinion about you, ask yourself objectively: is this person wise? If the answer is no, then throw their opinion in the trash where it belongs.

Incidentally, Keymaster is wise, so listen to his opinion.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[AirbanderParticipant 58]

I think it will be great to have MGTOW Meetup in Meetup.com or other site including here
people can meet at their local area and build friendship.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

In my opinion, I think it is important to keep MGTOW esoteric to some extent. Meetups should be for socialising, MGTOW is for sharing, the sharing of ideas, questions, points of view, etc. Consider understanding the concept of MGTOW in stealth mode.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 54]

Save your empathy for those deserving.

[Anonymous 12]

Air!

I believe you have already laid out a big part of the Answer yourself.
you already have a lot of Life experience – maybe we simply need to look at your experience?

I have gone to the topics you posted and read a bit about your life and your goals – not “MGTOW” but “successful”.

In the Social world and especially with Ladies(160+!), you are successful, although the two times you committed, you were hurt.
But there were times where you did not commit, only sex and good times for fun.
Most of those times where you did not commit, you did not get hurt.

– How to not commit?
when you commit, you say: you are the one. time and effort is irrelevant, i want to give you. give you my best, give you my all and everything. i believe we can be awesome and rule the world.
Committing is like caring, but only a Million times more hardcore.

However, You also know how not to commit. How to keep life, a relationship with a person just fun and games.

– How to not care?
Caring comes from being invested into someone. To put time and feeling into a person, but no risk.
Not caring is maybe being less invested into someone, investing less time and feelings, hopes and dreams.
Basically it is the same as “not committing” but a light version of that.

When do we decide to care?
Caring or not, I believe is a decision made at a very early stage of a relationship – seconds or minutes after you meet someone for the first time. Like for example caring for the nice lady with the perfect smile.
Or very early in a new interaction with an established relationship. When an old friend comes to you and asks you for shelter, because his house burnt down.

Caring, or not caring, are decided very quickly in those situations.
Seconds or minutes.
Maybe one part of the solution is to pay a lot of attention on yourself and what your feelings and thoughts are in those crucial seconds and minutes.

False caring or true caring?

@keymaster
Realize you have been socialized to do so.
Stop for a moment in these situations. Remember what this man said.
Caring because “you are supposed to” is false caring and leads to no good.

Let caring be an active decision you take.
Use your past experience and your judgement in these seconds:
– if i care, where will this situation lead to? (sex, cohabitation and kids?)
– if i care, what do i stand to lose? (time, money, opportunity…)
– if i care, what are the dangers of doing so? (accusations, police and law troubles, physical dangers?)

And last but not least:
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

==================================================================
TL;DR

How to not care?
When presented with a care/not care choice; slow down. Stop for a moment.
Use your life experience (and the experience of others around you) to actively decide to care or not care.
You will find you will care far less after a few seconds of thinking.
If needed, turn around and physically walk away.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Airbander wrote:

1- How do i learn to not care ?

1. You don’t stop caring. Never stop caring. STOP reacting to the toxic caring you are creating and make a logical choice about what is best for you. And Act on it!

2. Look at the long term gain. Are you enabling and calling it caring?

3. Trust. People land on their feet if they have to. Who ever you say no to, leave, or tough-love will be fine.

4. Don’t try and predict the outcome of a tough decision. Just do what is best for you now.

When I grew up kids left home, now you have to throw your kids out. I had to eject 2 children from my home. I felt bad but it was the best thing I did for them and they thanked me for it later. One kid I just threw his s~~~ in the front yard and took his key away. He slept in his car for two days then left. Five years later he bought his first home.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 3]

Care about yourself. Value yourself.

It’s okay to care about other people, or even women, but that’s not an excuse to neglect yourself. How can you care about others when you yourself are broken? What can you possibly provide the ones you love when you are insufficient and empty?

[narwhalParticipant]

It’s been stated already, but it deserves repeating. Start thinking about what it really means to care. Doing things for people who haven’t earned it is NOT caring for them. Putting women on a pedestal when they have done nothing is NOT caring for them.

Women are always talking about how they want equality, the want independence. Then give it to them. Let them take care of themselves. Let them pay their own way. Let them show care for you if they want to be cared for in return. Let them chase after you if they want you to chase them. On and on and on. You have standards you’ve set for yourself. Expect the people you interact with to have the same standards.

Ok. Then do it.

[Author]

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