I did a MGTOWish thing today….and having some regrets.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

It’s amazing, isn’t it? Because, rationally, when you examine it, you did nothing wrong; you simply declined to perform a favor. Yet people treat you as if you did something wrong, you still feel as if this were the case.

Is it because we’re socialized to “help”? Probably.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[raindogParticipant 313]

When I was about 16 my father bought a Mother’s Day card for me and my brother to sign. It seemed like such an idiotic, useless, empty gesture that I refused to sign it. It hurt everybody’s goddamn feelings, mommy dearest became unhinged of course, but I didn’t back down and never signed the f~~~ing card. Mom bitched about it occasionally for a few years but eventually got over it. To this day I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or any other ridiculous “holiday” that was invented just to separate people (i.e. men) from their hard-earned money. I’ve never once celebrated or done anything special for Valentine’s Day with any woman I’ve been with. When my buddy’s girlfriend (now wife) heard this she said, “If you were my boyfriend I’d dump you.” I said, “I’d never go out with a girl who put importance on such nonsense anyway.” Bah humbug, bitch.

I have a hard time doing anything people think I’m “supposed” to do. If it’s not genuine and from the heart, don’t do it; otherwise you’d be a phony.

"Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within." -Funkadelic

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Varun,

I’m sorry this situation caused stress. Congratulations on your growth.
I would have told the young lady that I would pray for her too. I would tell her that I loved her. I would tell her I would always be there, but I honestly couldn’t promise to protect her.
What if a biological or nuclear weapon were dropped on your neighborhood? How could you possibly protect her?
You could send her an email explaining your thoughts, although you probably shouldn’t mention MGTOW until she is older. Good luck

[KeymasterKeymaster]

raindog wrote:

I have a hard time doing anything people think I’m “supposed” to do. If it’s not genuine and from the heart, don’t do it; otherwise you’d be a phony.

Agree with all of it @raindog. Nothing tastes worse than doing something out of a sense of obligation. Everything is a “gift” including time and attention and if it’s not a +1 or recognized as such, they don’t get any.

I was continually amazed how women actually PREFER to get a gift out of obligation or resent…. just because it says Feb 14th on the calendar.

Example:

Do NOTHING for your woman on Feb 14th. Don’t call. Don’t email. Make yourself scarce. Then on the 15th, call her up and offer to do something nice for her – anything – like a burger and a movie… and she will actually behave like you treated her BADLY.

That’s why it’s bulls~~~, and that’s only ONE reason why MGTOW have renamed Feb14th to “International MGTOW Day” beginning in 2015.

raindog wrote:

To this day I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or any other ridiculous “holiday” that was invented just to separate people (i.e. men) from their hard-earned money.

It’s all designed to have one nearly every month – just to keep you broke. Right after Christmas, start shopping for piece of jewelry, because f~~~ you.

The day I bought an ex a second generation iPod when I couldn’t really afford it and her mother said “If it has a plug it’s not a gift”… was the day I swore if I stand in line to buy her an OILY RAG, she will be grateful for it, or she can get the f~~~ out.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[DauntlessParticipant 403]

Are you serious?

Why would you feel regret over something like this? You should be PROUD. DAMN proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and not giving in to their bulls~~~.

Hell, had it not been for my current economical situation, I’d f~~~ing buy myself a flight ticket and travel to where you live, just so I could get you a drink at a local pub/bar!

I’m just kidding. But really, man, don’t feel ashamed. You did EXACTLY what you’re supposed to do in a situation like this.

"To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche

[Anonymous 54]

Varun wrote:

Today was Raksha Bandhan in India.

The sister-band symbolizes a promise that the sister would pray for the well-being of her brother and in return, he would protect her from harm.

So all she offers is a prayer? How about the females wear a band that symbolizes there gratitude and respect for Men. Do the women cook a special meal for the Men? Do they spend the rest of the day in prayer? Right. As usual Men get the short end of the stick.

[IAmManParticipant 228]

Anonymous wrote:

Do they spend the rest of the day in prayer?

I’d wager that in the rare chance they do say a prayer it will last all of 5 seconds.

Something heart felt as “um, like please protect him, uh, like, yaaaa”

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Good for you, man. She thinks all she has to do is pray while you actually have to protect. What kind of bulls~~~ is that? Reject that s~~~, and of course all the blue pills are butt hurt. F~~~ em. Good for you, man. Be true to yourself.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[AntipathyParticipant 4901]

damn, all she has to do is pray and you do all the hand to hand combat ? 🙂 sounds like you’d be getting ripped off ! Reject it !

[HitmanParticipant]

you followed your heart.
trusting yourself .
if they can’t understand then what value do they really have?
.
family’s suck.
the expect you to do what they want.
f~~~ that.
you do what you want !

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Samsquanch wrote:

So does your family think that you would just stand there and watch harm come to your cousin? I would have found it insulting that I would have to promise to protect a family member. Families shouldn’t need some kind of arbitrary symbol to show pride in your family.

Exactly. But they sure make you feel like that….to a point you’d question yourself “Would I?”
Then there’s always the “so this is what you’ll do to us too!” from my mother which makes it even more harder to keep calm. Now I know why so many men falter. Its because their social programming to ‘help and obey and protect’ comes in the way.

I know the deal isn’t great. But there is a great deal of faith in these traditions…. the type where people actually die for. Because people are crazy enough to die for the sake of superstitions.

It didn’t just feel like I had broken tradition, or that I had been ostracized….because I can live with that, but it almost felt like I had said “No” to taking revenge on somebody who had killed off my entire family. It was not so much “Why you did it? but more “How could you do such a thing?”

Thankfully its the 21st century…there’s only a few people who really regard traditions so highly…..so I won’t get beaten to death anytime soon. Things have been really quiet but I know they got a reason to make me feel bad for years to come.

Except that, they don’t know I can rationalize unlike so many others…..and that I have the support of so many good men at my back. Their efforts will go in vain.

Thank you all for your generous support. This place is what makes me….me.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Varun, Brother,

We say Lead, follow, or get of of the way.

Today you lead us.

I am honored to be in your company.

@keymaster, This MAN should be our MGTOW of the month (as Stealthy said).

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

@keymaster, This MAN should be our MGTOW of the month (as Stealthy said).

Agree completely.

Varun wrote:

“I can’t make a promise that I know I can’t keep!”

BOSS. And same, I don’t promise things Im not 100% sure about and I say it how it is.

-----------

[AttonParticipant]

Those who will not protect you when you need it more than ever deserve no protection. Ask yourself this question would that cousin of yours protect you from harm. The answer more likely than not is no so there for have no shame.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

@keymaster, This MAN should be our MGTOW of the month (as Stealthy said).

FullMetalExo wrote:

Agree completely.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Varun is – and will be – “MGTOW of the Day Month” for the rest of the month. Put your hands together for the Man. For the first time ever, we changed the heading too.

Thank you for the Manspiration.

Cue anthem.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Thanks a lot for the honor.

But I prefer being among my brothers rather than stand out among them. So lets not make a fuss about this MGTOW-of-a-month thing.

Instead, lets celebrate with some c~~~y music:

😛

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

As a tradition, like handing out easter bunnies, I can see it’s charm. It’s just a family bonding thing to make everyone feel good and closer to each other. Taken literally, it’s comical.

You’re more than capable of praying for yourself and, really, her end of the bargain only offers value if there is a god, she actually prays to him and that god listens to her. Pretty long odds if you ask me. You’re better off working for what you want yourself.

Second, today’s strong women can protect themselves. She can buy a can of mace and that will protect her better than you can because she can always have the mace with her. You can’t always be around.

In summary, she should protect herself and you should work for what you want as if there is no god because god’s not reliable anyway. No need for a verbal contract.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

Varun wrote:

I have a strong urge to text her apologizing for my behaviour (like the cuck I am) but I think I’ll have to resist.

You dont have to apologize for anything,now you can call and voice clarity over your decision to not commit to such a woop sided deal. You made your choice for you and have nothing to be ashamed of.

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[Anonymous 7]

Good s~~~

[Al BundyParticipant 245]

Well, you could have just let the girl tie it on as a recognition of your cultural heritage and then tossed it after they left. Hard to say. If you hurt the girl’s feelings and feel badly about it, you could apologize and try to mend fences with aunt and uncle. If she’s a good girl then at 14 she may be very sheltered and was wanting to do this ritual as an expression of familial love rather than actually expecting you to bugger a rabid tiger in her defense. Think it through…everyone’s probable motivations, the context, etc. and do what you think is right. There is no dishonor in admitting a mistake IF you believe you acted rashly. First we find our voices, then the courage to act, and last (regrettably) the wisdom to know when it is better to be silent and do nothing. Maybe you had a little red pill side-effect at an unfortunate moment.

[W]e are MGTOW. We eat shaming language like tic tacs.

--chir

I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.

--William Butler Yeats

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