I did a MGTOWish thing today….and having some regrets.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Today was Raksha Bandhan in India.

Like every time, I usually pass the day off unnoticed without much drama…. but not this time. My uncle’s family visited us and my cousin wanted to tie a rakhi (sister band) on my hand, like she did with all my brothers. The sister-band symbolizes a promise that the sister would pray for the well-being of her brother and in return, he would protect her from harm.

I don’t know what came over me, but I denied her request upfront, and followed with a statement that shocked everyone in the room, including my own self.

Because it was not me that spoke, but my new, mgtowish inner-self; one that I didn’t know I had in me: “I can’t make a promise that I know I can’t keep!” and stormed off.

As usual, my mother was p~~~ed off. My uncle and his wife didn’t say anything except throw me looks of contempt until they left just a half hour from now.

I don’t know if what I did was right; I mean I bear no ill will to my cousin, who’s just 14. But I think I just didn’t want to come off as a white knight and , like really, make a promise I know I won’t keep……..not anymore.

Just wanted to get it off my chest. Peace.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[RoyDalParticipant]

You stuck up for yourself. You did not bow to blind obedience to the habits of society’s norms.

Never make promises you do not intend, or cannot, keep.

Good going: Both Krishna and The Buddha did the same in their times and places.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 54]

Ive had it happen also. Its just a reflex at this point.A guy I sometimes work with ,who like me enjoys baseball,invited me to go to a game with him and his girlfriend. As soon as I heard girlfriend I just said a flat no.I got a funny look ,then had to back peddle and make up an excuse. It was just an honest reflex. Oops.

[pabsawakeParticipant 1761]

That sounds like an honorable tradition. One I would have gladly taken if we lived in a world where men were honored and respected.

Was it wrong for you to turn down this request? I think not. Why should a man vow to protect any female other than his daughter? Especially when men are now viewed as disposable utilities.

"You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both". Truth over everything

[VarunParticipant 2981]

I have a strong urge to text her apologizing for my behaviour (like the cuck I am) but I think I’ll have to resist.

What is it that is so morally wrong if you don’t do something others deem as compulsory?

And its not even the gesture I’m worried about, ’cause I already have a reputation for being introversial and ‘grumpy’. I’m just having doubts with the morality part of it. I have been raised such that I take care not to unnecessary hurt others’ feelings. That is a hard job when you gotta be empathetic AND preserve your self-sovereignty.

Its not like I won’t come to her aid if she ever needs my help…. provided I’m not at loss by doing so. I’m always for family. But the thought that I have to sacrifice my self-worth just for the sake of it…. its something I’m finding hard to digest.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Its not like I won’t come to her aid if she ever needs my help…. provided I’m not at loss by doing so. I’m always for family. But the thought that I have to sacrifice my self-worth just for the sake of it…. its something I’m finding hard to digest.

Exactly. So does your family think that you would just stand there and watch harm come to your cousin? I would have found it insulting that I would have to promise to protect a family member. Families shouldn’t need some kind of arbitrary symbol to show pride in your family.

[pabsawakeParticipant 1761]

Women, white knights, manginas, and many blue pillers reject MGTOW philosophy. I doubt explaining yourself this way will do any good.

Perhaps you canjust telling her that you will be there for her if a situation arises. Regardless of vow or ceremony.

"You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both". Truth over everything

[KeymasterKeymaster]

You went with your manstincts and there is a reason for that.
Because your manstincts will never let you down.

There’s a GREAT way solve this too….

Varun wrote:

The sister-band symbolizes a promise that the sister would pray for the well-being of her brother and in return, he would protect her from harm.

Lets’s look at that. The deal is:

She “prays for your well being” (Wow!)…..
but you’re expected to “protect her from harm”.

Except there is nothing in this world that a woman needs “protection” from that a man doesn’t.

NOTHING.

What could you possibly protect her from? An atom bomb? A bullet? Harsh language??? And “in return” she prays for your well being? In what universe is that a reasonable exchange? And what if you’re not nearby when she is in harms way? Are you now required to blame yourself for not being there? And will everyone else blame you too for ALLOWING harm to come to her?

Please.

Varun wrote:

I don’t know if what I did was right

Yes you do. And you knew it INSTINCTIVELY too.
It’s complete bulls~~~.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

Never feel ashamed/guilty/selfish for saying “No”.
Never let anyone guilt/shame you for doing so.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I find that Indian men are ahead of the curve on feminism. I could be wrong.

Naturally, as men turn away from women, such cultural practices will have to change. Change is part of life.

Soon all men will speak up. Then we will see shaming articles likening us to Herbivore men in Japan.

I like Herbivore men…they went their own way because their plantations were especially brutal.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

The red pill never ceases to amaze does it? A religious tradition where the women sit on their ass and hope while the men are out dying for them. Seems like a fair trade off. So, if the prayer doesn’t work and the guy dies, does she die too?

Tell me again about the patriarchy and how men have it better than women for centuries………

Order the good wine

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I did a “MGTOW-ish thing” about 14 years ago when my brother’s wife sent my brother into the city to scold and reprimand me (on her behalf) for not buying/sending HIS WIFE flowers on the day she popped her first kid. I was in South America at the time, and on that day, I climbed a mountain and hang-glided down from it.

I was treated like an asshole by my family who ALL believed this was the same as “treating her badly”.

They actually treated me as if I treated her badly.
And this was weeks after I returned.

I leaned forward and said “YOU married her. YOU have to listen to her and do what she says. I don’t.”.

…. and this was loooong before MGTOW.

For 4 years this caused such a bad blood between brothers, we didn’t speak for FOUR YEARS. My mother BEGGED me to apologize, to be “the better man” and just suck it up, but I refused because I didn’t do anything wrong. And I even stretched my hand out at Christmas to both of them, and they pretended like I didn’t exist. Emotional terrorism of the finest womanly kind.

But I never – ever – caved.

Eventually. Princess got over it.
( Must have been The Wall )

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Tiga KParticipant 1693]

You did the right thing. It’s your life, your choice. If your family loves and respects you, they will learn to accept it.

[aeragoanParticipant 1186]

You have regrets bcz of not following cultural tradition of India…but when you see her nawalt tactics of your cousin sis in recent future ,you will forget your regrets

[narwhalParticipant]

A couple points. I would guess that this is taking as seriously as a woman’s vow in marriage. It is just ceremony, doesn’t really mean anything. In that regard, I don’t think you have to take it at a promise you are actually committed to, so you could have gone through it as meaningless tradition…you’d know better then me.

But more direct to the point, @KM has it right. The vow itself is rather sexist. It implies men and women are not equal. A woman can do nothing for a man except prayers, and cannot provide her own protection. A man is in need of prayers, while a woman needs none, or should not be prayed for. Making such a vow would be an insult to your cousin. I’m betting that your mom would be good with that explanation.

You could come back to your cousin and suggest that you both vow to pray and protect each other, since you are equals. You also have a point though that it most likely a vow no body intends to keep. It really depends on what kind of a stand you want to make with your family.

Ok. Then do it.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Why can’t you just “pray for her well-being” too?

Is that not enough? Would they all laugh at you? Doesn’t look to me like women in India need protection from anything. The men need to wear helmets on the subway though.

This is setting you up to fail no matter what you do. If you’re a hero and agree, and she breaks her legs downhill skiing, you’re the asshole who didn’t protect her from harm. Either way, this agreement is designed to f~~~ you over. You’re an asshole either way.

It also endorses the idea that women are perpetual victims and men just need praying for, and he’ll be just fine. Here’s a gun. Go off to war. We’ll pray for you.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

@ Lee

It seems that it is mostly white knights that were kicking the men off, men making a statement that the other cars are full while the female cars are empty. Pure man hate and women are more equal than men. Sexism.

These men are the Uncle Tom’s of all men.

Women could do nothing without these men. Noticed how those mean and vile patriarchs put up no physical resistance to the physical abuse and assault they received from the gentler sex.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Puffin Stuff wrote:

It seems that it is mostly white knights that were kicking the men off

There are white knights too but you can see women doing the shoving and the slapping and a female officer. The point is, women don’t need protecting any more than a man does.

Who built the women only trains? Men should not make trains just for women. Make women walk or ride a donkey instead. If women want women only trains, they can design and build them and lay the railway themselves.

Women who expect men to protect women are just openly admitting inferiority, and agreeing to protect her from harm is just setting himself up to fail. When she breaks her legs downhill skiing, he gets blamed for not protecting her. It’s carefully designed to f~~~ men over.

You’re an asshole no matter what you do here, and it endorses the idea that women are perpetual victims. So sick of it.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Total Lee wrote:

designed to f~~~ men over.

LOL.

“I want you to agree to protecting me from harm”.

“What’s in it for me?”.

“I will pray for your well being”.

“Pass”.

“You’re an asshole.”.

“So? If I agree to that stupid s~~~, and something happens to you, I’m an asshole for not protecting you. I’m an asshole either way. Can I just pray for your well being instead?”.

“LOL. No.”.

“Why not?”.

“Because that’s bulls~~~!”.

“Exactly.”.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

It’s good to hear from Puffin Stuff again.

[Author]

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