Can MGTOW man ever be close friends with a women? Is that even Possible

[buzzhawkParticipant 2]

My wife and I agreed before marriage to not have kids. She made that statement to me first and it was a big reason we stayed together and got married. I like kids, just didn’t want any. A few years into the marriage, she had to ‘get fixed’ due to Endometriosis. For over 10 years the marriage was great with lot of unprotected sex and very few arguments. Life was pretty good then.

Then one day, as I’m driving home from work (tired and hungry), she called me very upset. She was getting old, blaa, blaa, blaa,… “Can we adopt a baby?” WTF??????

To keep the story short, we adopt a little boy baby through the state (the f~~~ing state has been in my house ever since). A few years later she gets a hysterectomy and goes into menopause. That’s when her s~~~ changed and became more noticeable. It also started me down seven plus years of hell. We also did foster care which did nothing to make things better. Foster care is a whole other topic I don’t want to get into.

Its been over 7 years of trying to figure out what the hell happened to her, what I am I doing wrong and why is she betraying our relationship? The more I dug for answers the more she dug in. Believe me, I have contemplated all the options to get out. But nobody who treats you like that is worth your life or prison. I know now that the stress of the relationship caused chronic back pain for me. It also brought on Diverticulosis and an appendicitis from eating under stressful conditions, not to mention countless headaches and being constantly mad at her. A few weeks ago I went to the hospital for pain. I went back two more times complaining about the pain. The final visit I was diagnosed with “tension”. Tension? Holy F~~~! It all came crashing down on me at once. I’m on the verge of a nervous f~~~ing god dam breakdown – because of her! Embarrassed and ashamed I laid there in that dam hospital bed. I got the feeling that everyone left the room to save me any more embarrassment. I just felt like the biggest f~~~ing loser, sucker, chump there ever was. Dam it I TRUSTED her. I TRUSTED her. I TRUSTED her. I F~~~ING TRUSTED her!

MYTOW has literally been my lifeline. I come here for strength and understanding from guys I don’t really know, try that with a woman. I have tried and they were very little help. I even spent a few days with one of my sisters that I’m very close to – no help there either. My wife was a “daddy’s girl” and a princess. But when the looks faded she had to resort to more aggressive ways to get what she wants. Logic and my emotions be dammed.

Of all the women I am friends with or will be, I would never trust them with my inner thoughts and feelings. Those are weapons in the hands of the gal who knows how to wield them.

[Eric LauderParticipant 84]

It’s your life Ray, you can do all you want.
But, please, do not pretend you want be “friend” with that woman.
You know the truth, I know too.
She seems perfect now, in fact she IS perfect for you, now.
But when she’ll be bored by you she’ll screw you.
Every woman we loved was perfect during the first year, and during the second year, and maybe even during the third year.
Then, we all know what happens.
Choose your destiny, brother.
Good luck.

[TheBardParticipant 974]

I just want to point out that my female friends haven’t done the things that have been mentioned on here about why you can’t be friends with women. One thing they did that many women wouldn’t was something they did a few months ago. We usually go out to eat or see a movie once a twice a month for fun and one time we were thinking about where to go. I mentioned the all you can eat sushi buffet and they were like “that is where you really want to go? you sure?” I said yeah and they said “ok we just making sure, that’s fine with us”. So when they get there one has a red paper bag with her and I think nothing of it. Later they put the bag on the table and say “so this wasn’t just an normal outing, this is your birthday dinner”. There was a gift in the bag and they paid for my dinner as well which with a drink that places comes to about $18.00 plus tip. The gift was a simply coin bank but it was Superman and they know I like DC comics with Superman being one of my favorites. If there is no sexual tension and they aren’t pain in the ass women it is possible and also like I mentioned before they are about 13 years older with boyfriends so that all helps too. One thing you can do is see how you react when they say things like they have a boyfriend, they want to date a certain guy, talk about having sex with other guys, etc. If you ever feel slightly jealous about any of that then be careful. If you don’t care then I say you are good.

[DispatchParticipant 33]

The only female friend I have ever had was my sister and I don’t think that counts. I think women have the ability to love blood relatives like parents, siblings and children. I think it’s something instinctual about women that keeps extended families together, much like a pride of lions.

[JimboParticipant 162]

I will say this, friendships with females are a bit difficult for several reasons.

If they are not f~~~ing you or at least have that desire, well, they will flake on you at the cat call of another dude.

If they do want to f~~~ you and they view you as unlikely to reciprocate they either go one of two ways, bug the hell out of you or they will flake on you when you want to hang out. (Rejection hurts them a lot worse than it hurts us. Evolutionary speaking men could survive after being rejected by a mate, a woman historically getting rejected, well, it meant she may not survive if she did not have at least one male interested in her enough to take care of her.)

Now, the benefit to having some female friends usually means that they have female friends and that even appearing in public with a woman can make you appear attractive to other women. You just have to put up with the drama (usually, extensive drama) of your female friends.

I don’t keep to many female friends around anymore because the drama, hypocrisy, and the attempts (and successful) manipulations of other people. I have better things to do with my life. However, this as others have said is your choice.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I guess it’s theoretically possible to be friends with a woman. But since sex was about the only thing of value they ever had to offer me, and being just friends would take that away, I’m not sure there’d be much in it for me. I don’t know if there’d be a reason to keep showing up…? But if there was, (i.e. business acquaintance where it could be profitable for me), the friend status would at least mean that I could walk away anytime I decide it’s not worth it anymore and I won’t be ripped off for half my assets.

Bottom line is that all healthy relationships are voluntary. If there’s some positive benefit to me at or above the risk and cost to me that would inspire me to volunteer for the friendship, then I would consider being friends with a woman if, and for as long as she could hold up her end…

I don’t have any female friends at the moment, and I’m not optimistic I’ll be adding any soon…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

Like all relationships with the opposite sex, it’s a calculated risk. You either decide the risk is worth taking or it isn’t.

MGTOW just encourages you to do your homework before you make a choice.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[ThragatoParticipant 24]

I think it’s possible; but difficult. I think they have to be a very select sort of person, and a few conditions must be satisfied.

1. No sex is wanted from either party.

2. No drama

3. You can treat her the same way you treat your male friends, including but not limited to discussion topics, bantering, hobbies et cetera.

4. Money is not spent on the other party by either party.

Essentially, she has to be almost identical to your male friends. Then again, finding somebody who satisfies those conditions is probably impossible.

[JimboParticipant 162]

That believe it or not Thragato is good advice.

The money issue is a big deal with women. Though I will say that some male friends and I do occasionally spend money on each other i.e. drinks, meals, etc… but the spending is mutual and is not a term of the friendship. Neither parties lose respect for each other in those cases and neither parties feel entitled to it.

I have always noticed the second a woman spends money on me she wants something in return or when I spend money on a female friend she takes it as she is either entitled to more or that I am some sort of sucker.

When a girlfriend finds out I have spent money on male friends she starts demanding that I give her money or spend money on her too. It never bodes well with them.

One sentence sums it up with me and spending money on girlfriends and female friends now: Ladies, you have put yourselves in that zone.

[JackParticipant 3]

I use to have two girls at the same time (and let them know I have at least two!) – So I play one bitch against the other bitch.

If one girl try to “bulls~~~ting” me, she knows, I will go for the other girl, so she will not…. (…and if so, I will do the needed steps!)

Two girls are less stress, more fun, you can better control them and so on…. But yes, only one girl is dangerous!!!!!

Keep the one girl on distance until you have a second girl, then it becomes easier! If you lose one, kick out the other at the same time as well.

And a girl without sex is useless… You cant trust her, and nature does not want that man and women are “just friend”. What happens if Adam and Eve are just friends?

Being “just friends” means, you help here for a “nice life”, but she has nothing to do for it, just because she looks good, that is bad for your self esteem and just good for hers… (She has a lot of friends, no sex, but every friend help her to get more self esteem, and she use it against man, husband, boyfriend boss, even other girls or against what ever…)

 

In my case (two girls), I lower there self esteem and higher my own self esteem! – Do you see the difference?

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

@jack – I get what you are driving at, but I don’t agree with it.   Maybe put a different way – it is not what I would do.

I have a hard enough time trying to dodge the snares and nets of one woman (who is trying to MANipulate me).  TWO women!!???  YIKES!!  No thank you SIR.

I don’t want to bring women down, I will borrow a quote from you – “In my case (two girls), I lower there self esteem and higher my own self esteem! – Do you see the difference?”

I just want to protect myself from being used by women.

My sexual need for women prevents me from hanging out with them as ‘friends’.   I liken it to being a recovered alcoholic that finally gets a job – at a liquor store.  It just wouldn’t work!

Have any of you ever heard of AVEN??  – These are interesting folks indeed.   They actually have NO desire for sex whatsoever and have guy / gal relationships with frequency.  NO STRINGS (or at least fewer strings..)

I envy the AVEN folk.  It would be nice to not have sex always f~~~ things up (see what I did there???).

*** Keep your head (the big one, not the little one) held HIGH, be on the lookout for the harpy looking for an easy kill!!  If we are going to overcome this scourge – we have to think with the right head!!  (crude, crass and tactless but I had to say it)

Cheers All

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[CyanideParticipant 1]

The only girl I’m friends with are lesbians. It’s rather straightforward as to why.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I never heard of AVEN until this minute. I had to google it. AVEN stands for Asexual Visibility and Education Network. I want to get laid as much as ever, so I guess I’m not an AVEN, but I absolutely do not want to go through another relations~~~.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Krab_AssParticipant 267]

I hear you RoyDal.   Having sex again would be AWESOME!! I just don’t want to put up with the bulls~~~ to make it happen.  I find it strange that the AVEN folk have absolutely no desire to have sex.  Strange really….   But it probably makes the guy / girl relations~~~s less complicated.

To be fair to the AVEN folk – they probably wonder why we DO like to have sex with women..

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

it’s hard to say. i have a female friend and we’re not attracted to each other at all. she has a girlfriend so i don’t have to worry about that. she’s the only girl i’m friends with because she’s like a man. i think those are the only ones you can be at ease with. the ones that are like borderline transgender.

[masterymenParticipant 0]

I’d say it’s more than possible. It’s on you, though. You have to have no interest in her whatsoever. Nothing. If you think that something might come up, instantly a bad idea. You are in control this situation. Like you always should be for any situation.

[fporrettoParticipant 26]

Yes, it’s possible for an MGTOW man to have female friends. Whether they can become close friends is a matter of dispute.

I have a couple of female friends. They share certain characteristics:

1. They’re far above average in intelligence (so am I);
2. They’re plainer-looking than unbuttered bread (so am I);
3. They’re firmly married and make no bones about it.

I consciously avoid becoming acquainted with good-looking single women. Their mindsets are incompatible with mine. The odds are against their wanting merely the pleasure of my conversation…and I’m unwilling to surrender anything else.

 

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

I’m sure you can be friends with a woman.  I have in the past, but certainly wouldn’t bother now.   For myself, it was a fruitless endeavor.  When it came to clarity for me that I was a great bitching receptacle for them, I simply stopped calling.  It only took not going out with them twice, or falling off the grid.  They completely disappeared.  A guy friend wouldn’t just disappear like that.  They’d come around at some point and say “Hey Bill……..what the f~~~ is up man?”

I would take a step back and question as to why you are friends with them.  Are they satisfying a need for you that wouldn’t be met by male friends?

Women aren’t friends with you just to be friends with you.  As with all other things they do, there is calculation in their motives.  You are meeting one of their needs that isn’t being provided to them by way of their significant other in my opinion.  It might not be apparent what purpose you are serving to them, but it’s a calculated one which they wouldn’t openly share with you.

Women have an agenda, and even their women friends fill certain voids and satisfy certain needs for them.

It’s been my experience, and that’s only my opinion.  Maybe you have something going on that I’ve not experienced.

[fporrettoParticipant 26]

Yes, every woman has an agenda…but not all women have the same one, not even when they’re positioned identically in time, space, and circumstance.

The two that I consider friends have agendas that are compatible with my agenda, which is a professional / creative one. We get along well because we want nothing from one another. We’re teammates in a common quest.  Of course, it helps that each of us is attached, that each of us is well on in years, and that we’ve all had enough personal setbacks to know better than to approach one another as anything but colleagues and occasional drinking buddies.

There’s a lot to ponder about this. A woman who’s gotten past her sexual / romantic years and has managed to become independently established and respected will sometimes mature to the point where it’s safe for a man of comparable age to be around her. The driving motivations have changed for her. In a sense, she’s become a third, non-sexual sex — and though he’s still a man, at the very least he’ll refrain from seeing her in a sexual / romantic light, with all the hazards and pitfalls that go with it.

Cathy and Barbara are both about sixty, are solidly established in our common trade (aerospace engineering), and have earned the respect that goes with substantial achievement. We exchange useful lessons, swap shop talk, trade book and movie recommendations, and enjoy the occasional ribald joke. And I’m dead certain that neither of them looks at me in that “target” way that younger women of lesser stature would attribute to an accomplished, established man. They’ve gotten past the impetus toward that.

As with all studies in human relations, your mileage may vary.

 

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

It sounds as if you have a pretty solid professional relationship with them, and in a demographic that would present different realities than, as you’ve stated, if they were in a younger bracket.

I haven’t tried it in that scenario, in that demographic, or mixed in with my career.  You are clearly experiencing something which I haven’t as I tend to keep my professional off-time for my buddies etc.  I think there will be some interesting things to learn here, and it sounds as if you are more than comfortable with it.  I’m glad that it brings something positive to your life; we all need more of that.

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