This topic contains 73 replies, has 38 voices, and was last updated by 
Cú Chulainn 2 years, 1 month ago.
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Since falling off a cliff in April this year and landing awkwardly into a sea of red pills, I have had this nagging doubt that even being connected by the thinnest of strands to the modern matrix is bad for my MGTOW journey.
First I lost my home, family, job and dignity in one 48 hr period which was a living nightmare. I have yet to recover and memories of it haunt me, especially in my long dark nights of the soul, when I lie awake and ponder on where my life went so wrong.
When I passed over the suicidal phase I disconnected from social media completely. That lost connection to 99% of friends, family and acquaintances.
I moved somewhere quiet and unknown and went ghost and monk simultaneously.
I kept a link to the outside world tenuously – this website and twice weekly visits to my local pub, where conversation never went deeper than sports and farming problems. Recently I have had hints from some locals that one or two females were ‘single’ in the area, and then last week I was ‘checked out’ by an attractive 26 year old and her immediate hive, while having a quiet pint on my own. Later that night her male cousin-in-law who is an informal drinking buddy of mine told me, in a seemingly off the cuff remark, that she was single and liked me. I shrugged it off with a quick mention about age differences and that I wanted to be single and carefree for the foreseeable future. My pub is now an arena and the grey man (me) is conspicuous by his seemingly disinterested and aloof bachelorhood. This is not what I want.So, the point of this thread. I feel I have to move on deeper into cover, forego even fleeting social engagements in my little village. I think its time to drop from grey man to simply not being there. I also feel keeping a connection to the big bad world via the net is keeping me back too.
I have some options, I am seriously considering becoming a real monk – ie applying to be a novice in a monastery, and taking vows of silence, chastity, poverty and manual work, and spending my days cloistered and free from the outside world. This has been a growing thought in my head since the summer.
My second option is to log off and go vagabonding and travelling again – where? Who knows, just taking off and seeing where I end up. This period may help me decide if the first option I mentioned is viable. A religious vocation is not something to apply for frivolously. I may at some point sell up and hit the road, or turn up somewhere new and start living again with no internet, or connections with my past life.
If I disappear from these forums it means I may have started this process. It may be I decide to stay connected to a world that increasingly I feel isn’t for me, I am alienated from nearly everything around me. Just some thoughts brothers.
Does anyone else feel this way or has started preparing to disappear?
Since falling off a cliff in April this year
You have been through A LOT in a very SHORT period of time.
My pub is now an arena and the grey man (me) is conspicuous by his seemingly disinterested and aloof bachelorhood. This is not what I want.
Why don’t you just give it a break for awhile ?
I am seriously considering becoming a real monk
My second option is to log off and go vagabonding and travelling again
These are both pretty EXTREME. Why don’t you just RELAX for a lil while, and give yourself a chance to heal ???
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Does anyone else feel this way or has started preparing to disappear?
I like travel, grueling physical recreation and lots of downtime just chillaxing.
Real monk would be a nice way of living, I just take a leaf out of their book, try to live more humbly, and minimal.
If I had to pack up and leave the city, you would find me in a van on the open roads.
"Society is to blame" Denton
You must follow your own heart. You’ve had a lifetime worth of s~~~ in a very short time. The vagabond idea may help in that you can both unwind and disconnect from the past.
I know I’d have difficulty completely unplugging from the world. But everyone has different thresholds. As for the 26 year old – that may be trouble but it’s hard to say. 5 years ago I was with a woman who only wanted sex and sometimes we’d go out. It was no pressure and enjoyable. Im an older man and she was 48 and in good shape. When it ended we both just walked away no harm.
Forge ahead in your own best interest. Best of luck we’ll be here for you no matter what.
Chulainn, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Dark night of the soul. Losing a lot quickly.
I also scaled back big time in terms of social media and fake ass “friends”.
I remember reading Old Bill’s warnings about facebook. That it’s for women and homos. Many others echoed the same.
I would agree with Awakened. Give yourself more time to heal up. You may very well need to do some of those things, to heal in the long term. But the more time you take to really contemplate those things, the more sound that decision will be. You don’t want to commit to something so life changing, if you’re still on the mend.
I don’t remember who said it, but something about not making serious decisions when we are not on solid ground.
Me personally. I would have a tumble with that 26 year old. Despite age difference. May not go with your state of mind. But as Al Pacino said in Scent of a Woman. “When in doubt. F~~~.”
You’re a sharp guy. You’ll figure out what is best for you. Take your time. Those options will still be there.
“He who takes an eel by the tail, or a woman at her word, soon finds he holds nothing.”
Does anyone else feel this way or has started preparing to disappear?
My illness has required to start living this way.
Living in a shielded and chemical smell free environment.
Everything else makes me sick.I would have the money to socialize and f~~~ around but I only like the woods. And driving so fast, I don’t smell the others in my car. At over 100mph/160kph the car is well ventilated.
My ears have become sound sensitive (Dioxin and Barium) and I need total silence around me.
I drive around in a car with hidden tune-ups so I can shake off any stinker in front of me in seconds.
That’s the only time when people see that I still exist.
I go shopping when no one is out there. Perfumes and cosmetics smells make me cough and sweat.
If someone who lives in a toxic house stands in front of me at the counter, I start to shiver and shake and my body temperature goes up.
This polluted world has become a nightmare.
Or how do you hide from phone mast radiation as good as you can?
This is the second type of pollution to hide from after a chronic metal salt intoxication.
No use of smartphones in my place. They don’t even work here.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
I can see you have been really wounded. I am sorry. I don’t think I had it so bad when my life fell apart 12 years ago, so it is hard to compare. I did flirt with the idea of going off to somewhere no one knew me and living a simple life of manual labour but in my case my business kept me busy with a complicated life of manual labour instead. I just couldn’t bear to give up the only thing I still seemed able to do well and something I was building up.
In retrospect I would say that after a serious wound one can be in a deep shock for a very long time. One can need quiet in which to heal and withdrawing to get that quiet is natural and the desire for solitude should not be struggled against but I would also advise that one looks at the withdrawl as a temporary thing at least for the first few years.
Only when the wounds have scarred over and one has tried to start using the injured areas again one know if one simply has a scar or a permanent disability. What can at first seem like a life changing injury may eventually be healed or worked around. I think it is important at some stage to try to use the injured area again albeit with more caution than the last time. If you plan to permanently stop using something you need to test that it is actually broken permanently first. This test should not come too soon but it should come in the fullness of time, starting when the sharp pain of a new injury has gone and the dull ache is left.
To make any permanent plans at withdrawing (ones that for example might involve selling property, giving up a good job, leaving an area where one is starting to become valued or taking any vows) could be dangerous until one knows -after several years- that one has actually suffered a life changing injury not just a terrible wound that you can recover from.
Few men are born to be happy monks. Those that are born that way are special. Most of us only contemplate it when we are very hurt and if the wound is permanent then it could be an honourable and purposeful way in which to live out a life. However, if the wound proves only temporary one could have cheated oneself by giving up the world. If you love the world but have just had the best part of it hacked out of your life it does not mean that you may not one day recover to grow something else meaningful back there. A brave man’s spirit can prove to have more powers of regeneration than we at first think.
I don’t know your story and please forgive me if my thoughts seem inappropriate. They are well intentioned.
A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own
You’ve had a lifetime worth of s~~~ in a very short time.
Yes, a lifetime of s~~~ in just a few months.
I left a “life on stage” and I was tired of it anyway. So that loss was not the worst. Isolation does not hurt me as I have tasted the opposite for over 20 years.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Can certainly understand where you’re coming from on this.
It might be worth examining interim options such as going on retreat for a month or so and seeing if the lifestyle suits without having to commit totally until you’re ready to do so.
"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.
There is no shortage of monks and priests in the world that eschew worldly pleasures. Join them. You can change your mind later.
I don’t think it’s far fetched to become a monk. I think it’s a very honorable vocation.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
OP brother, give yourself time. I also avoid pubs, and feel very similar to how you feel. However my advice would be to slow down, gather your thoughts, and try to figure out what is best for you as an individual. A lot of the time answers don’t come so clear. So give yourself some time to think. It appears you’ve been through mental trauma, like any other trauma, it takes a lot of time to heal from.
Anonymous42When I passed over the suicidal phase I disconnected from social media completely. That lost connection to 99% of friends, family and acquaintances.
I never got on social media watching what it does to the people that use it. My visit to my brother’s house without even calling on the stupid f~~~ing telephone was worth way more than any electrical device window or speaker. I like human contact or none at all. I don’t care if family get upset because I don’t call them back until I feel like it, or if ever.
I stepped back a couple centuries for the sake of preserving my mind and humanity. I live isolated from the outside world in this condemned and abandoned forest legally held under CEASE & DESIST pertinent to legal action and court order dated 1/10/1974.
The same thing is happening to men on a grand scale throughout the entire western world. Little by little, bit by bit, the laws are becoming aggressive, now treading on the life, safety, and prosperity of the individual.
When societies become like this where the laws not only jeopardize the individual but enhance the lives of those governing, a collapse becomes unavoidable. We’ve crossed that threshold with feminism and gynocentrism.
Don’t look back, I’ve thrown in the towel along with by brother on all tax demands including over $700,000.00 in over evaluated real estate. They had a party and kept on partying on fiat printed currency handed out like Halloween candy, offsetting the actual value of everything else.
We have every intention on demolition once the demands surpass any profit to be made on a 60% reduced price from the tax assessors and that price has been 3 years running without any interested prospects whatsoever.
WE ARE CRASHING THANKS TO GOVERNMENTAL FOOLISHNESS AND IRRESPONSIBILITY!
THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS, THE DAMAGE IS PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE! JUST LIKE STAGE 4 CANCER! IT’S TOO LATE!
RUN!
Later that night her male cousin-in-law who is an informal drinking buddy of mine told me, in a seemingly off the cuff remark, that she was single and liked me.
Female arrogance dictated that after they dispose a perfectly good man they’re entitled to another and all they have to do the meet the criteria is be single! NOT. GOOD. ENOUGH. Let them find Chad the wart-dick f~~~-gorilla! That’s what they deserve for being SINGLE! Single doesn’t cut when her only value a diseased public toilet meat hole that god only knows what or who has been there before you!
Examine the risks in everything then decide logically and accordingly. Don’t risk yourself to anything that can destroy you!
FACT!>>>>”Feminism destroys and kills everything it touches, it takes down nations!<<<<FACT!!!
I have some options, I am seriously considering becoming a real monk – ie applying to be a novice in a monastery, and taking vows of silence, chastity, poverty and manual work, and spending my days cloistered and free from the outside world. This has been a growing thought in my head since the summer.
^^^That’s bulls~~~! Try being a Peter Pan MONK! Enjoy the f~~~ out of EVERYTHING!
This site is like a read and write newspaper! It’s INTERACTIVE with men that understand what you’re FEELING! It’s OFFICIAL OPPRESSION from a CORRUPTED SOCIETY! IT’S NORMAL! Bro, I never go anywhere near gatherings with all the blind deviants that don’t even see what’s going on and fall prey to it!
Set your world SP LP (slow play/ long play), and forget it! SPEED KILLS! The chance of finding a real princess is NULL! It’s just a figment of every man’s imagination! The world is upside down and backwards!
Remember, the S~~~ that YOU are RUNNING from is WITHIN YOU.
Give yourself some time to completely let go.
Give yourself some time to to heal.
Get your head straight.
Then make BIG decisions for the RIGHT reasons.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Remember, the S~~~ that YOU are RUNNING from is WITHIN YOU.
Give yourself some time to completely let go.
Give yourself some time to to heal.
Get your head straight.
Then make BIG decisions for the RIGHT reasons.
^^
Trust me OP, you can’t outrun pain.
Anonymous1I would like for nothing more than to go out into the middle of nowhere build a log cabin and live off the land. Its been a dream of mine since I was a boy. Solitude is a wonderful thing.
April wasn’t that long ago, It takes me years to cool down after a major shake up. I love going out in the middle of the woods and camping in my tent. Helps me relax and meditate. I get reassurance out of the Natural World.
The other thing that has helped me over the last couple years was reconnecting with my heritage. I started reading a lot of history and mythology. Respect for where I come from and where I am going. Makes life easier to endure.
Thanks for the replies fellas.
I lived a lot of experiences in the first half of my life. I’ve visited over 40 countries, spent 15 years in conflict areas after leaving the army: been blown up, shot at, shot back. Circumnavigated the globe in a year and a half backpacking. I’ve been to every continent but Antarctica. Enough adventures to last two lifetimes.
I’m just done with our society. I was reached a business card from a guy who runs security out in East Africa last month. He wanted my CV and was offering opportunities for work out there. Last year I would’ve bitten off his hand to get a start there.
When I started in that line of work I was the young guy on the team. Now I’m much older and BTDT. It just doesn’t light my fire anymore, it would only be delaying what I have to do with the remainder of my life.
Its crossroads time.
Anonymous1I lived a lot of experiences in the first half of my life. I’ve visited over 40 countries, spent 15 years in conflict areas after leaving the army: been blown up, shot at, shot back. Circumnavigated the globe in a year and a half backpacking. I’ve been to every continent but Antarctica. Enough adventures to last two lifetimes.
I’ve hardly traveled at all. I’ve not even seen much of the USA. The only continent I really want to see is Europe, but I hear its not very European anymore.
One day I am going to at least see Ireland before I die. Thats on my Wishlist, for sure.
My Father was a traveler, he could never stay in one place very long. It sounds like you only ever feel at home when you are on the road. You’ve got that restless Spirit.
I’d say God has kept you alive for a reason, throughout the battles you have seen and that is an encouraging thought.
My second option is to log off and go vagabonding and travelling again – where? Who knows, just taking off and seeing where I end up. This period may help me decide if the first option I mentioned is viable. A religious vocation is not something to apply for frivolously. I may at some point sell up and hit the road, or turn up somewhere new and start living again with no internet, or connections with my past life.
If I disappear from these forums it means I may have started this process. It may be I decide to stay connected to a world that increasingly I feel isn’t for me, I am alienated from nearly everything around me. Just some thoughts brothers.
Does anyone else feel this way or has started preparing to disappear?
Yes man. I have felt like this many times in life. I have lived out in the woods on my own for 3 years off grid. It gets lonely and even worse with no conversation. I promise you that. I did the weekly bar visits and stuff in my little town back in Wisconsin. Similar events happened. I finally decided to walk away from my farm and start traveling. I sold everything I had and walked out the door with my dog and a backpack. Traveling I met some awesome people and since I got outside the USA my level of peace has gone up a lot. The USA is full of anger, ignorance, and pride. It’s everywhere, not just the women. Once I got over the border I was met with smiles and friendliness. Latin America is beautiful, the drinks are cheap, and the beaches are amazing. I’ve heard many good things about asia as well… but I def recommend the travel thing. Get away from the USA and find yourself brother. Find some hobbies too that you really enjoy. I can’t recommend the monk thing because it doesn’t work in the long run.. you end up bitter, angry, and depressed like a lot of monks I have spoken with. They don’t seem to have anything in their life but bashing women and it’s just unhealthy mentally. We are social creatures…
0100111*beep*0101010101101101~[A Glitch in the Matrix]~110010[transmissionterminated]000101101
I can tell that this is always tough to do in a smaller town where people know each other. I live in a smaller city but it’s big enough to where people pretty much keep to themselves.
Personally, I don’t understand why you wanting to be a bachelor is bad or really anyone else’s business. It’s your life and it’s your choice. You shouldn’t have to apologize for your choices and personally I think that running away is going to put you in a pattern of always apologizing for your choices. You shouldn’t have to and you certainly don’t owe that woman anything.
I can tell that this is always tough to do in a smaller town where people know each other. I live in a smaller city but it’s big enough to where people pretty much keep to themselves.
Personally, I don’t understand why you wanting to be a bachelor is bad or really anyone else’s business. It’s your life and it’s your choice. You shouldn’t have to apologize for your choices and personally I think that running away is going to put you in a pattern of always apologizing for your choices. You shouldn’t have to and you certainly don’t owe that woman anything.
I don’t really consider leaving a bad environment for a healthier happier one, as running away. All through history real men have blazed the trails. They weren’t running. They were building.
0100111*beep*0101010101101101~[A Glitch in the Matrix]~110010[transmissionterminated]000101101
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