Why do many men abuse their women?

[OldBillParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

They’ll provoke, but we have to be smarter than that.

Exactly. When they provoke you – and they will provoke you because they’re drama junkies – all you need do is walk away.

The person in a relationship with the least to lose has the most power. Walk away and prove to them that you have the least to lose.

Don’t ruin your life over some c~~~ whose purpose is to see you broken.

No meathole is worth sullying your name, losing your money, or risking your sovereignty.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Canis lupusParticipant 144]

I think many of the women who claimed they were physically abused either hit him first or taunted him while he was angry or in a rage by saying things like “come on big man, gonna let a girl hit you?” and the like. Then, she can say “he hit me” and authorities are not going to care how reprehensible her behavior was even if she initiated the fight. I also believe many of these women who claim they were abused were in a mutual combat situation with a man. Too many people have the image of a meek woman covering her face with the man standing over her with a clenched fist.

I also believe what women have a different set of standards when it comes to abuse just like feminists have a different standard that constitutes rape.

[Maraudrz1Participant 2250]

Do I smell tuna?

Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

How about your wife complaining that you’re TOO NICE and telling the judge that you’re a disappointment because she was waiting for you to punch her in the face…. and didn’t. And smiling while she says it.

Key Master is so correct.

I was an example of the above case. Apparently I made my ex wife “feel bad about herself because I treated her so well” or “we don’t fight enough”. The c~~~ actually claims that as one of the major reasons why our marriage did not work. At first, I thought it was utterly bs – now I actually believe her.

Women need drama, “passion”, fighting and disharmony in order to feel complete. It is a badge of honour amongst the hive. Hence, I believe Old Bill’s assertion of it is the accusation of abuse for minor disagreements is correct.

As much as I love my mum, she will needle and pick fights with the family. My mom and dad would have verbal arguments frequently when I was a child. I vowed to myself to not conduct myself the same way in my relationships – defusing situations ended in divorce for me in less than 2 years. I misread the dynamics.

Same with my sister by causing fights with her husband. Same with the few female acquaintances I have.

The common denominator is being female.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Defining abuse as only physical violence intent to cause pain and injury:

Why do so many men abuse their women? Why do so many women abuse their children? Complicated questions. For the most part, women get a pass for abusing their children. Courts are slow to punish a mother, even when proven guilty of abuse, or to take her kids from her. A woman can be a convicted felon, but still win a custody fight in court. Lack of consequences might be an explanation for why so many women abuse their kids. But many more women do not abuse their kids despite the same lack of consequences if they chose to do so. So we can’t blame lack of consequences for all of it.

For men, there are enormous consequences for abusing women. There are enormous consequences just for being accused of it. Yet, that certainty of consequences does not prevent it from occurring.

This male on female and female on child violence are both forms of domestic abuse. That is, they occur at home or between parties well known to each other. The current societal reaction to domestic abuse seems to be “women always good, men always bad”. Though many sons of abusive women grow up to be normal, civil men, it is known that a great fraction of the men who are abusing their women were once abused by their mothers.

It’s at least as likely that women who abuse their children were not born violent, but learned it somewhere along the way to becoming a parent… likely learning it by watching an abusive father abuse their mother?. So, there is adult male on female violence, and there is adult female on child violence. And we very commonly find both in the same neighborhoods and families. It’s hard for me to imagine that one of these paths of domestic violence is totally unrelated to, and independent of the other and that they are just coincidentally occurring parallel to each other in the same places and among the same families.

This is not to say that any male on female violence is the fault of females. It is to suggest that violence in homes or within families is a learned behavior and has mechanism of perpetuating itself. If this is an accurate assumption, then this is a cyclical, multistep, self perpetuating problem. It is not going to be stopped by focusing all attention on a single step of the process, because the preceding step will still continue to produce abusers to advance the cycle.

Either equal attention is paid simultaneously to all the steps in the mechanisms of family violence, or, we continue with the total focus being the “men always bad women always good” one that we have had for decades.

That approach, though popular, does not seem to be curbing the problem…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Author]

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