Home › Forums › Blue Pill Hell › When Your Mother Discovers You're a MGHOW
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Infinityrays 4 years, 7 months ago.
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I’m glad you had a mother who did great things for you as a kid.
My mom spent my childhood resenting me because I wasn’t the girl she expected to give birth to at the time, abused me physically and mentally, and by the time I was 13, I was spending all my spare time and summer vacations reading books at the library as a kind of “escape from reality” and it got me away from that house of hate.
My mom began trying to act nice towards me after I enlisted in the army. Despite the fact that she NEVER wrote or called me at all during my time in the service, she would brag to her friends and relatives about her “soldier-hero son” and when I was discharged, she began trying to get in touch with me to do FAVORS for her, or because of the huge nest egg I had saved from my army pay. She began wanting to borrow money from me, and promising that she’d pay me back. Then when I asked her for the money back, she’d turn ugly and snarl at me that it cost her a LOT of money to raise me and put a roof over my head, so I’m “just paying back the money that I owe.” Her behavior towards me turned worse when I stopped giving her loans that she had no intention of paying back.
So she’d act all nice to me trying to get something out of it, and then turn ugly and hateful when it wouldn’t work out.
By now, I’m 29 years old and I only see her once a year, and only for an hour at one of the family holiday parties. After we talk for 2 or 3 minutes, I’ve said all I want to say to her and keep my distance. I used to friend her on Facebook until she began insulting me on Facebook messenger. I refuse to give her my address. Because of past experiences(which is another long story), if she knows my address, then she can try to break in my house, call it her own, and use her status as my mother to try to get me kicked out of it.
I can forgive my mother for all her past bulls~~~, and I have, but I’m not going to FORGET, and forgiving her doesn’t mean I wipe the slate clean and let her back into my life to start her bulls~~~ all over again as if nothing ever happened. I’m almost 30, I’m living my life, and her status as a parent is over. She has nothing else to teach me that I can learn from. And after four divorces, I hear that she’s living in and out of homeless shelters because she refuses to get a job for herself, but she’s living in some fantasy where she just won $25 million from a lawsuit of sexual harassment against some company. The reality is, there is no lawsuit, there is no money, and no one is going to help her get back on her feet anymore because she burned all of her bridges with our family.
Allow me to step back in here for a sec….
On this topic, there was ONE moment I will never forget. Mothers Day, 2011. I flew to visit her – on my VERY valuable time off – for 5 days. We were at my brother’s house the backyard and my Mom was sitting in the shade off to the side watching my brothers kids play. I was sitting back with a drink, wearing my shades in the sun, all smiles, drinking a beer and talking to one of the other couples.
Beneath my sunglasses, I noticed my Mom just sorta looking at me. And then she shook her head in disappointment….. like imagine if you saw some Mom slapping her kid at the mall. Like she was saying “Oh that son of mine. What will I do with him.”.
With no intent to boast…. I should add I was dressed very sharp, looked good, good hair, it was not because I was looking pathetic, or because I was some kind of “bum”. I BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET specifically for Mothers Day. Pathetic losers don’t do that… so she was not looking at me as if I were some kind of failure.
She looked at me that way because she can’t control me – and never could. I went my own way at 17 and began my life in Europe instead of living 3 minutes away like my brother has always done.
There are. No. Strings. On Me. And women HATE that.
MGTOW, baby.
She has no idea I remember that moment , or that I noticed at all. But when she says s~~~ “hows my handsome son?” or “I’m so proud of my boys” I know something she doesn’t. It’s permanently etched in my memory.
I can’t WAIT for the day to send her a link to MGTOW.com.
But I must wait for the perfect moment to drop the bomb.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.…I suppose I could be even more honest here (actually, I unintentionally left this part out because I was rush-typing, sorry!) and say that the nice things that my mother did for me were so she could use them later and say “see?? I do [this and that] for you and you’re just ungrateful!!”
When I considered joining the military, suddenly my mother didn’t get onto me about finding a job nearly as much. Finding work was hard, but when it was found out I couldn’t join because of “medical reasoning” apparently, it was back to calling me fat, lazy, uneducated, unmotivated, etc. My mother had me first among 4 children. The next 2 were daughters, who both died because of health problems. The next, my now-sister and “golden child” to this day. My mother still continues to help my sister without any expectation of payback from her. Anytime she helps me, it’s immediately followed with “you’re going to pay me back on this, right?” When I was starting to go the MGTOW way (before I even knew what it was, in fact), my mother even encouraged a vasectomy if I wasn’t planning on having children. This is also the same person who told me if I was to have a child, she wasn’t going to support me like she supports my sister, and that I’d have to “do it all myself.”
“So she’d act all nice to me trying to get something out of it, and then turn ugly and hateful when it wouldn’t work out.”
That sounds exactly like my mother.
I try to say my mother did great things for me, because I don’t like speaking ill about my family very much…that’s the honest truth there (in a way, like when you said you can forgive your mother, but not forget). The words they say and the bad things they do tend to stick to us more than the good. When I was basically treated like (and actually told behind my back) that my mother didn’t really want to have me and that I was a “worthless piece of sh*t”, I lost all hope in trying to make her and my father proud. Both are disappointed I never finished college (though I completed high school through homeschooling, mostly teaching myself in the latter years), and that I’m not married or have a good income. I can’t afford classes, my severe mental issues caused me to fail certain key classes (which halts financial aid of any kind), and I was left years ago to take care of myself…which is all I can say I do now that I’ve successfully accomplished.
I’m the only one left in our family that really tries to make any effort to contact her (my sister has cut her off completely), and my father doesn’t really communicate with me at all (but remains in constant contact with my sister), so in a way we’re the only ones in the family left that are there for each other…even when I rarely see eye-to-eye with her.
There are. No. Strings. On Me. And women HATE that.
Ditto that sentiment. My biological mother searched for me (well, the baby I was at one time) for 22 years and once she found me, she realized that she couldn’t dominate me the way she does my father so she threw me out of her life… again.
She won’t get a chance to do it a third time.
I live a double life so I don’t have to worry about that. By the way you shouldn’t expect your parents to understand why you joined MGTOW because they didn’t grow up in this day and age and our society is different. No offense but old people don’t have the mental capacity to handle living in this day and age which is why they live in the past.
I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.
I disagree, completely, & totally, with some of the posts I see on this thread.
You are NOT a villain for protecting yourself. The world is the villain you are protecting yourself from.
You knuckleheads will always be an outsider, even within your own family, with that kind of behavior. You are being lazy of mind, and dishonest with yourselves.
I am MGTOW specifically because I am honorable. It would be dishonorable of me to dismiss people that care about me with falsehoods & lame answers. Just tell me how in the flying F~~~ that is any different, or any better, than being a lying, backstabbing, hypocritical feminist!!! ? S~~~!
Yes, when you are truthful, people will make excuses, like NAWALT. And all of us already know the response to those points. (and the steps go like this)
We say to our Mom’s (or brother, or sister, or whoever is trying to get you back on the plantation):
– It is the System that is the problem, not the individual woman.
– Males have sub-standard set of civil rights, thanks to gynocentrism!
– Our biology has made us gynocentric, that is how we are, at a cellular level. But gynocentrism is unfair to men. In particular it is unfair LEGALLY.
– The Married or cohabiting or father of children, and man will ALWAYS lose, legally. 90% of the time!!! Do you want me to lose my children, & live in a van the rest of my life?
– a) Tender years doctrine. b) No fault divorce. c) Women always win at the expense of Men. d)Haven’t you guys heard: There is a marriage strike going on!!
– The theory of gynocentrism isn’t even the problem, it is the institutionalization of gynocentrism!!
Step by step. Run them through it all. They already know the truth. But they need it spelled out for them. And that is why they will listen to every single word you say. They will REALLY listen. They will have no rebuttal, because there isn’t one. I know all of this first hand!!!
Your family will find that you are BRILLIANT – with massive insights.
If they actually care about you; If they actually listen to you:: All this discussion will take massive time on their part; It will take research on their part; And that is when they start seeing your point of view; They will start admitting it is not hatred or anger on your part; That you have VALID points; They will read news articles from a new point of view; They will start valuing themselves, as people, as individuals, not just as “couples” shuffling across the surface of this paved planet.
Yes, all this will take them months or maybe years to follow. But you didn’t go from Blue to Red pill in 20 minutes either.
I know the above for a FACT. I have been through it.
Last Thanksgiving I felt a whole new level of respect from family. Women valuing my opinion. Asking me questions within a family group. Yes, I got asked the “hard questions” privately – and of course, sadly, I could only give them the purple pill answers. But for them, even purple pills can be hard to swallow.
Again, the respect I received was beyond amazing. Trust me, they will NEVER blame or shame you again.
So, WAKE THE F~~~ UP you knuckleheads! Do it right. Do it properly.
Highest regards to all my freedom loving brothers,
flailer.
Informed my mom today that I would never go on a date again where the price of the meal or whatever activity we were participating in wasn’t split. She’s very traditionalist, and let me know that I’d “never get a girl that way”. Love my mom to pieces, but try explaining to her that any girl that can’t get past having to pay her way isn’t worth keeping around.
Informed my mom today that I would never go on a date again where the price of the meal or whatever activity we were participating in wasn’t split. She’s very traditionalist, and let me know that I’d “never get a girl that way”. Love my mom to pieces, but try explaining to her that any girl that can’t get past having to pay her way isn’t worth keeping around.
Did you tell her that the only woman (women) that you would consider are ones that are honorable enough not to be a thief in 5.5 years, stealing your home, your kids, your cars, your saving & retirement accounts from you? And that the first step towards that is making sure that she is as invested in the relationship as you are? That the rules of divorce have changed RADICALLY, and thus the rules of relationships have as well?
Said thusly she will not only think you are BRILLIANT … and looking out for her rights to visit her grandkids …. but she may just help you find one that is worthy, that will contribute, that doesnt sell her Sexual Value to the highest bidder.
MGTOWs have the ultimate power. I recommend using it, wisely, to your benefit.
but who the fuk am i?
Did you tell her that the only woman (women) that you would consider are ones that are honorable enough not to be a thief in 5.5 years, stealing your home, your kids, your cars, your saving & retirement accounts from you?
Didn’t bother. I love my mom, but I also acknowledge she fully embraces the female stereotypes. She married my dad because she saw earning potential (she initially turned down his marriage proposal) and she’s always been more interested in us than in him, while he’s the opposite way. Neither one of them will accept the realities surrounding marriage for men in the United States.
oh man.. well. stay strong and on the course !
My mother 100% backed me up on MgtoWay, especially after listening and seeing for herself, for years, what happens around her at work etc. and how other women are. It made sense. Even before anyone of us knew the term: mgtow. My parents always told me to not RUSH In on relationships (and marriage) and guess why – from their own experience. They married late, and both had many relationships before they found each other.
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I don’t take s~~~ from my mother, I’ll just ignore her like I would a child. I love her to death, because she is my mother. But when she opens her mouth I stop listening, literally speaking. I don’t care about her approval, nor my father’s. Half the bulls~~~ issues I had were because I sought their approval. As an adult you have to get over this.
My mother has a wacked out version of thinking. She literally busted down crying because I turned down a job to work for the local jail for 12.00 an hour. She thought I “ruined my future”. That was in 2012. After that day, I learned to not give a f~~~ what she thought. It is all about control. Most of the time they say they care about your “happiness”, but is so long as you do what they want you to do regardless of how you feel.
Get over it. There are worse things in life than a “disappointed” mother. She will pass on one day. You will still be stuck with yourself.
Anonymous5I refuse to let any thing on this earth control me! MGTOW is that gate to the long path outta hell ! Creator bless thy all! We shall have victory! Beyyaa! Holyyyy reading these threads supercharges me am going run for office and then slowly kill the beast from the inside out! Just like they slowly made us weak sex addicted monsters! For men! For freedom! For MGTOW!!!!!!!
I’ve definitely started to care less what women think of my decisions, it’s just that I must learn that there is also no pleasing my family either. I can definitely accept that fact. It’s just rather saddening.
When I tried to explain to my off the boat italian mother years ago that I wanted nothing to do with women anymore (this was before I even knew what MGTOW was) her initial response was “why, are you scared of girls?” I said yeah I’m scared all right. Scared of what they will eventually end up doing to me. Whether it be financially or mentally. Anyway really how could I be scared of girls if I was already in a 3 yr relations~~~ prior? At this point I’m almost 40 and my entire family/friends well basically everyone I know have most likely labeled me as a “closet gay”. I’m ready to come out alright; as a f~~~in’ MGTOW baby!! It sucks they don’t understand so I just have go with it. We can’t undo decades of tradition so why bother? Maybe someday when everyone sees how happy I still am in my 50’s, 60’s hell till I die will they think “damn he had it right all this time”.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me
Just accept being a villain, it’s quick, simple, and shuts people up. When they say you’re just angry with women, just nod and agree, then go away.
100X this^
To Megachris%, not sure about your relationship with your family, but keep contact minimal if you can. I’d have zero if my mom didn’t put on the water works. I mentioned to Keymaster that I’m suffering from blue pill overload recently because of my family. Cut extraneous bulls~~~ out of your life.
Fuck this planet.Thanks for the response, Cap…and everyone else, of course. I’ve always had this sense of “family-first” that I need to put away for good. My mother has been kinder to me as of lately (I’m wondering if it has to do with the fact that she thinks it’s her fault I’ve gone MGTOW), but I still get that iffy feeling inside of me that tells me she’s doing it so she can use it against me later to say things like “SEE? I did [insert “good deed” here], you should not be so ungrateful when I get angry at you!” My father is almost non-existent, as he lives about an hour away now, but comes down to visit my sister and her son, and doesn’t really contact me…even when I contact him first.
I suppose it makes the separation from the family a little easier that way, anyway. Cutting all the extraneous drek out as I have been lately indeed HAS helped me quite a lot. I see 2015 as a year of improvement for me, most definitely. I see myself improving mentally, physically, financially, and intellectually.
Congratulations MegaChris, for doing things YOUR WAY !!!
I’m happy to contribute my ideas, but am far happier that you are doing what is right for you!!!!
I told my mom that I had no intention of marrying or having kids and that if I wasn’t in a relationship I would just pay for sex if I needed it. She was flabbergasted to say the least.
The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.I don’t take s~~~ from my mother, I’ll just ignore her like I would a child. I love her to death, because she is my mother. But when she opens her mouth I stop listening, literally speaking. I don’t care about her approval, nor my father’s. Half the bulls~~~ issues I had were because I sought their approval. As an adult you have to get over this. My mother has a wacked out version of thinking. She literally busted down crying because I turned down a job to work for the local jail for 12.00 an hour. She thought I “ruined my future”. That was in 2012. After that day, I learned to not give a f~~~ what she thought. It is all about control. Most of the time they say they care about your “happiness”, but is so long as you do what they want you to do regardless of how you feel. Get over it. There are worse things in life than a “disappointed” mother. She will pass on one day. You will still be stuck with yourself.
You’re right. I’ve gradually realised that I made myself feel bad and unhappy because I didn’t meet my parents’ expectations. Pretty much whatever I do or don’t do, you can be sure they won’t approve in some way. If you do what they say they want, they’ll find something else to disapprove of. If I had a child, so long as THEY were happy, I’D be happy for them. But my parents seem to think I exist for their benefit, and any joy I may receive from life is incidental and of secondary importance.
I disagree with flailer’s comments above. flailer, all you know for a ‘fact’ is what worked for you; don’t assume that will work for everyone. I know that in the case of my parents, facts and logical arguments don’t work with them. They can listen to them and then they will tell you you’re wrong. They won’t be able to explain why, or at least not in any way which makes a damn bit of sense. My father likes to sit there like a statue, not looking at me, full of disapproval apparently of my very existence. Isn’t that nice? To him, he knows it all and he doesn’t even bother to listen to anything which contradicts his beliefs. His beliefs which are so full of holes that they don’t stand up to even cursory scrutiny.
Both of my parents treat me in a condescending, patronising manner much as you might talk to a young child who has learning difficulties (which I don’t). You see, if I ever have a different opinion or viewpoint to them about something, then it must be because I have something wrong with me. It couldn’t be that my views might be equally valid, or heaven forbid, I might actually be right about something and them wrong? That concept doesn’t compute with them.
~
You are right, of course, as everyone MUST do it their own way, and also with their own timing. And you must do it differently with some people than you do with others.
BUT, if I had followed some of the advice here I would be VERY SAD, and alone, that I didnt have any family members still a part of my life today, this week in fact.
1st: I am MGHOW, and I allow my family members to disagree with me …. while remaining my family members.
2nd: I honor my family & friends with the truth — but at the same time I do NOT expect them to swallow the Red Pill whole. I know that they talk among themselves, about me. And that is why I gave you Guys the step-by-step, bite-by-bite, method. A way for you to share with others that actually listening to you – to help them digest the Red Pill.
All the above said: MGTOWs go through rather negative periods. Will focus on blaming others (for good reasons that I see agree with — but doing so only drags you down into the mud with constantly negativity.)
And now… what do I find? I find a thread saying to simply cut family members out of your life because: MGTOW is to difficult to explain? BULLS~~~!
Because it is easier to accept the role of the “bad guy” when the TRUTH is the precise opposite ???? WTF are you guys thinking??
Isnt the Red Pill about seeing the TRUTH? Isnt it also about making your own choices, for your own reasons, not other peoples’ reasons (like letting them labeling you a “bad guy”) Isnt it about living the best life possible? Isnt it about accepting RESPONSIBILITY?
So, again I ask: WTF are you guys thinking???? You’ll only talk and hang with other MGTOWs ??? You’ll cut out of your life anyone that doesnt agree with you at least 85% of the time?
Never mind. Don’t answer me. Cause you should be doing it your own way. But I can sure as s~~~ tell you: Your way sure as f~~~ isnt my way !!!
As a little kid I broke my hand, VERY badly. And the Dr. said I would never use it again. I would be one handed the rest of my life. BULLS~~~: I worked on it and work on it, and it hurt like hell all the time. But now I have two hands. I am NOT partly disabled.
Yes, you guy SHOULD break away from bad relationships ! Yes, do it. But, to lamely accept demonetization from the people around you is STUPID. You’ll end up in worse shape than only having one hand…. and a lump of lifeless mass on the end of your other arm.
There are a lot of damaged people in the world – MGTOW is about healing, not about cutting your f~~~ing hand off.
**** Live Your Life **** Live it Your Way ***** Have Fun while you’re at it *****
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