Well, I'm 34 as of today

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

A couple of you know I haven’t been able to enjoy life for the past few years, started in 2008 and have been unable to work, go out, go to a concert/festival, etc etc. since 2011. S~~~… sitting at home for six and a half years now. Happy f~~~ing birthday to me, I guess. Sigh.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[ghostParticipant]

Why?

[JVBParticipant]

We love you bro.

Peace is > piece.

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

I don’t know the details but I can guess. Don’t look at the situation as you are now, but as possible opportunity. Depending on what you have an interest in,….master a craft, start up an at home job, master the guitar,…when it is done you will have something more then just time spent.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[bladeParticipant]

Bro happy birthday .

I remember you mentioning what you have mentioned above .

Love ya bro and happy birthday

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Congrats pall.

And hang in there, “enjoy life” is overrated anyway.

I mean if you where smart, and idiot, a loser or a winner, one day you will die and it won’t matter.

Nicola tesla is the same as Charles Manson right now… they both death and can’t give a s~~~.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[ghostParticipant]

Carnage wrote:

Congrats pall.

And hang in there, “enjoy life” is overrated anyway.

I mean if you where smart, and idiot, a loser or a winner, one day you will die and it won’t matter.

Nicola tesla is the same as Charles Manson right now… they both death and can’t give a s~~~.

Why not end it now then?

As long as I live, I will not stop trying to improve my life.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

If you stay home a lot like I do, order yourself a birthday present from Amazon. They’ll deliver it right to your door.

I decided I’m going to give a heartfelt note to all of my relatives this Christmas. Everyone says they are over gifts.

So, I bought myself a Christmas present. It came early. Just the one I wanted!

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

ghost wrote:

Why?

Felt odd at a festival (Graspop Metal Meeting) in 2008, like I wasn’t really part of the world anymore, living behind glass, some call it. It got worse, then a bit better, then worse again the next three years. December 2010 I was so low on energy and couldn’t handle (sudden) loud noises anymore, sat at home, went back to work a handful of hours a week, couldn’t deal with that anymore and stayed home.

One night in August 2011 I had a massive panic attack, didn’t know where I was, who my own hands belonged to, hardly recognized myself in the mirror (I still don’t fancy looking at myself in the mirror, not because of low self-esteem, but because I get the idea I’m getting face to face with a semi-stranger, even when I KNOW it’s me).

I didn’t know who to call, the hospital? Emergency service? Parents? It was 3 at night when it happened and called my parents 15 minutes later. Dad got out of bed and drove 2 hours to come pick me up while my mom was on the phone with me for over an hour to help me with calming down. She kept talking to me and told me to already pack things in so dad and I could come home asap. Dad came over, we packed my stuff, threw other stuff away and drove home.

A year later I got diagnosed with neural celiac disease, as it affects my cerebellum and nerves instead of my small intestine. I developed chronic hyperventilation, hyperacusis (everything is F~~~ING LOUD), a balance disorder, dissociative disorder (it can happen anytime that I feel weird and even more out of place), and had two more heavy panic attacks two years ago thanks to a “specialist” who tried to help me with relaxing, as I’m on guard all the f~~~ing time. I simply cannot relax. Her exercise was all about flexing all my muscles at the same time for 20 seconds, then relax them, flex and relax. Thanks for that, c~~~, I now have to take two pills each day to prevent panic attacks.

I’ve been living on my own since 2014 again, almost 3,5 years now and it’s going okay. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to do my chores around the house and need to postpone them. Sometimes I don’t give a f~~~. Sometimes I just go to the supermarket to buy booze, get drunk, and spend the full next day hungover.

That’s why.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

JVB wrote:

We love you bro.

Thanks bro 🙂

743 roadmaster wrote:

I don’t know the details but I can guess. Don’t look at the situation as you are now, but as possible opportunity. Depending on what you have an interest in,….master a craft, start up an at home job, master the guitar,…when it is done you will have something more then just time spent.

The only interest I have in is… well, nothing. All the things I want to do require me to go outside or atelast be in a group, and I can’t stand the chatter of two or more people talking at the same time. Thanks to my hyperacusis every sound is equally loud and important, and I can’t filter anything, so it’s just a wall of noise.

No idea which craft to master, no idea what I can do from home, and I won’t play an instrument because I f~~~ing hate repetition, lol.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[ghostParticipant]

Nerevar wrote:

That’s why.

Why not stay with your parents if you don’t plan to have a girlfriend or get married?

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

blade wrote:

Bro happy birthday .

I remember you mentioning what you have mentioned above .

Love ya bro and happy birthday

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Thanks for the ham, it’ll keep me fed until I’m a 100 years old!

Carnage wrote:

Congrats pall.

And hang in there, “enjoy life” is overrated anyway.

I mean if you where smart, and idiot, a loser or a winner, one day you will die and it won’t matter.

Nicola tesla is the same as Charles Manson right now… they both death and can’t give a s~~~.

Thanks man, but I wish I could enjoy life.

^ that’s pretty spot on, eh?

Puffin Stuff wrote:

If you stay home a lot like I do, order yourself a birthday present from Amazon. They’ll deliver it right to your door.

I decided I’m going to give a heartfelt note to all of my relatives this Christmas. Everyone says they are over gifts.

So, I bought myself a Christmas present. It came early. Just the one I wanted!

That’s a good idea, I gotta think of something I can use. Maybe buy two new strips of memory for my computer. I currently have 8GB and want to have 16GB, sadly my motherboard can’t handle more than 16GB, but it should last me a while before I upgrade the whole thing somewhere in 2018 or 2019. Downside is that memory is f~~~ing expensive these days.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

ghost wrote:

Nerevar wrote:

That’s why.

Why not stay with your parents if you don’t plan to have a girlfriend or get married?

Because mommy rapes me with a cactus.

Can’t deny I miss the prickly feeling, hmm. I just might go back to them.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[ghostParticipant]

Nerevar wrote:

Because mommy rapes me with a cactus.

Can’t deny I miss the prickly feeling, hmm. I just might go back to them.

Given your current condition, I would suggest being closer to your parents.

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

ghost wrote:

Nerevar wrote:

Because mommy rapes me with a cactus.

Can’t deny I miss the prickly feeling, hmm. I just might go back to them.

Given your current condition, I would suggest being closer to your parents.

They live a 10 minute walk from me 😉

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[ghostParticipant]

Nerevar wrote:

They live a 10 minute walk from me

Haha, good one. In that case, you’re set.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Happy birthday Nerevar…You are alive and breathing. That is a start…Try to meditate on 10 things you are thankful for every morning. Do it for 10 days…If it improves you then try to make it a habit. It may be being thankful for a house or no other sickness but try to do it…We love you brother…Happy birthday!!!

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Anonymous 42]

Happy birthday Nerevar, I wish I could cheer you up but don’t have the words given I was once in your position when I was a kid and kinda know what you’re going through. You got us for friends and that’s more than most people have, they only “think” they have friends! I’m glad you’re with us!

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

Happy Birthday Nerevar. You sure have confidence presenting yourself in writing; Have you considered being an author? You have a great dad by the sounds of it, does he know a way to get you started on a career or hobby writing?

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[AntipathyParticipant 4901]

Nerevar wrote:

Gambit wrote:

Why?

Felt odd at a festival (Graspop Metal Meeting) in 2008, like I wasn’t really part of the world anymore, living behind glass, some call it. It got worse, then a bit better, then worse again the next three years. December 2010 I was so low on energy and couldn’t handle (sudden) loud noises anymore, sat at home, went back to work a handful of hours a week, couldn’t deal with that anymore and stayed home.

One night in August 2011 I had a massive panic attack, didn’t know where I was, who my own hands belonged to, hardly recognized myself in the mirror (I still don’t fancy looking at myself in the mirror, not because of low self-esteem, but because I get the idea I’m getting face to face with a semi-stranger, even when I KNOW it’s me).

I didn’t know who to call, the hospital? Emergency service? Parents? It was 3 at night when it happened and called my parents 15 minutes later. Dad got out of bed and drove 2 hours to come pick me up while my mom was on the phone with me for over an hour to help me with calming down. She kept talking to me and told me to already pack things in so dad and I could come home asap. Dad came over, we packed my stuff, threw other stuff away and drove home.

A year later I got diagnosed with neural celiac disease, as it affects my cerebellum and nerves instead of my small intestine. I developed chronic hyperventilation, hyperacusis (everything is F~~~ING LOUD), a balance disorder, dissociative disorder (it can happen anytime that I feel weird and even more out of place), and had two more heavy panic attacks two years ago thanks to a “specialist” who tried to help me with relaxing, as I’m on guard all the f~~~ing time. I simply cannot relax. Her exercise was all about flexing all my muscles at the same time for 20 seconds, then relax them, flex and relax. Thanks for that, c~~~, I now have to take two pills each day to prevent panic attacks.

I’ve been living on my own since 2014 again, almost 3,5 years now and it’s going okay. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to do my chores around the house and need to postpone them. Sometimes I don’t give a f~~~. Sometimes I just go to the supermarket to buy booze, get drunk, and spend the full next day hungover.

That’s why.

Do not feel alone brother. As someone who grew up with selective mutism, o.c.d, and later developed a schizophrenia spectrum disorder, i can relate. I was room bound for 6 years, and still find it hard, and sometimes impossible to interact in any way other then the internet.

Just keep going, and take it easy on yourself. Don’t internalize the negative commentary from society, you’re doing the best you can do, your condition is no fault of your own, and remember your life is as valuable as any in the universe.

[Author]

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