URGENT! I'm in really bad shape

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22515]

That money was a gift to you to get the house for you both.

They cant ask for it back because pumpkin bails on you.

It sure was not spelled out as a loan, nor I doubt either of them said verbally that if you divorce you have to pay it back.

If you need to try to get a free initial consult with a divorce lawyer and get their opinion. I am sure there is plenty of divorce case law that supports you, that stuff like this is a gift and if you already split the house ie selling the house, pumpkin already got her half, or if she got the house, she got it all already.

If they dont put contingencies or qualifiers on it when they give it to you, and its not a loan they expect you both to pay back, its a gift.

Then you need to go after every expensive thing you have ever given her, rings, jewelry, because that was all gifts too, just like this was to help you get the house.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Anonymous 7]

Dude keep venting here.
Tomorrow ring your attorney.
But ffs do not contact her, do not retaliate.
If you go stupid you can add going to jail to your list of problems.

Stop coresponding with the ex inlaws. Bitches are all a part of the same hive.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22515]

Yes, block their email addresses and phone numbers. Send them right to spam, keep records of all the stuff they send you for evidence of them trying to contact you. But do not reply. Block em out.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

That’s an incredibly tough situation to be in. But if her parents paid the 8K, why is it now owed to her?

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22515]

That is an excellent question. A good attorney on his side would bring that up and destroy them with that.

If its the parents money, it never was the womans money. If the parents put the money up it was not the woman that put up the money.

I still say, and attorneys would agree, if no explicit arrangement for repayment under certain conditions was stated, that money was a gift to the married couple. As such they have no legal basis to demand it back because the marriage ended. If this stands as a precedent he can ask for everything he has ever given her and paid for, for her, since the beginning of the relationship. You know because pumpkin bailed, and that seems to be what this hinges on.

If pumpkin bailing means parents can ask for gift monies back, the husband can ask for everything he’s put into the marriage back too. Pumpkin bailing is the reason why the parents want their gift back, so pumpkin bailing ought to be a valid reason for HIM to get all his expenses back too.

Otherwise its gross injustice for one party who clearly has already lost quite a lot. Not to mention suffered more emotional and mental damage than pumpkins parents have, he is far more directly affected by the divorce than the parents are.

It cannot just work one way. Gifts given from one party cant be expected to be paid back when pumpkin wants to quit, if gifts from the other party cannot also be paid back, because pumpkin quit.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Well, I blew a few gaskets, but I don’t think all is lost.
1) I broke no contact. Rang up the ex, she didn’t answer, and I had the presence of mind not to leave a message. However, she would nag me for little s~~~ty things in an email here and there, and I did email her back with “DO NOT CONTACT ME!”. I know this is not a prefect reaction , but there’s worse. She may think she was able to get under my skin, but she will also know that I’m now not open to any compromising. She wants me to take the kids for her convenience? NO! I’ll take them at MY convenience. I can’t do it. I can’t beg to have time with my own kids. So, I stick to the agreement. end of story. As for the $8k, her lawyer showed a doc showing it was meant for her and then she deposited it into a joint account. It’s being toted as a gift from her mother to her therefore supposedly by-passing the patrimonial assets category. I’m seeing my lawyer in a few hours to have this looked into. The house is not sold yet, so I may in the end only get to keep my 50% minus the $8k. I don’t have much money so these amounts mean a lot to me. I was not working until recently and I live in a tiny place because she called the cops on me. so it’s tough.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I also kind of lost it on her mom (lives in another country so not really a legal problem). I told her (even though we always got along well), I told her to stop saying she’s praying for me, and I told her to pray for her whore of a daughter for once. Yeah, that was there red pill rage maxing out on me….s~~~…just so damned angry. Well at least I didn’t bust down my ex’s door and chop her and her ex up into itty bitty pieces.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks for adding comments bros… It’s nice to be surrounded by guys that understand. Maybe not all going through the same thing, but still, we all share the same goal… ridding ourselves of their s~~~.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

There’s a substantial mortgage on the place so the proceeds after sale I estimate will be about 12 grand…. split that in 2 and I’ll hold about 6 grand….then minus 8….I’ll be out by 2 grand…s~~~…hopefully the place will sell for 4 grand more than I think it should.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks again y’all for jumping in and commenting as I ranted, I appreciate it. This here MGTOW.com is a little run-to in cases like mine. Blow off some steam, share some s~~~. Thanks for the advice and I certainly coming around again with more on what’s going to pan out from all this. And for any of you wondering about my having a word with mother-in-law… I’m just so sick of my ex giving the impression of passing herself off as this perfect angel holy i’m-a-female-nothing-i do-can be-wrong-even-my turds-should-be-eaten-by-grateful-manginas attitude…that well… I just wanted her mom to know why I don’t think her daughter is a saint. I told her why, and cannot repeat it here because it involves the kids, and it’s somewhat traumatic….what my ex did to the kids….don’t want to mention it, but I’ll say it was psychological abuse…can’t really prove it though, short of having a shrink question my son, just a kid, and making things probably worse by dramatizing the whole deal. … My ex…how could she do what she did to her own son…. it was bad enough that she had her Chad move in to my place not even a year after we separated.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

It’s almost 3AM and I’m wide awake cuz my ex stirred up s~~~ with me today. In a few hours it’s off to see the lawyer in the morning and then off to work to try and somehow work and stay awake. I had some peaceful times before my ex decided I was too comfortable in my tranquil life. them c~~~s always got to f~~~ing stir up s~~~. I had wicked fantasies riding the subway today as I looked at each and everyone that was toying with her iphone… plugging those f~~~ing devices up their wazoos for good.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

going through a box of oatmeal cookies….damned….ok, i must find a way to calm down and rest a couple of hours

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Crap! Just drank a half liter of milk

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22515]

Milk goes with cookies. No sweat.

Try to think of things that calm you and give you peace.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Silver FoxParticipant 2766]

It’s okay, many of us know exactly how you feel.

I went through the same thing, with my ex demanding (through her lawyer) a whole bunch of money that I didn’t have.

First thing to remember:

Just because the lawyer sends you a scary letter doesn’t mean s~~~.

Lawyers send scary letters to intimidate, and they hope they can just get you to panic and cave in. Without a court order, they cannot force you to pay anything. Understand this. Also understand that you cannot just ignore it… you will have to do something, but don’t panic just yet.

Second:

You need to talk to your attorney. Many will offer a free or at least a cheap consultation. Come prepared, with clear documentation, and a concise request that you are seeking legal advice on your situation. Be prepared to retain a lawyer. It will probably be a lot cheaper than the $8K the c~~~ is demanding of you.

"Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." --Apostle Paul

[rightturnclydeParticipant 705]

As hard as it is you need to see the big picture. Many of us have been in a situation similar whether its ridiculous divorce agreements, alimony or child support decisions. It feels so unfair – as if the laws just don’t make sense and the system we expected to protect us does the exact opposite. I had lost a similar amount which I also thought was bulls~~~ and caused such an internal rage I almost had a head on collision. It was that incident that helped me understand that there are many more things that would affect my life in the long run than a finite financial cost. I know it’s easy for me to say that you will get through this but trust me, in time you will too. A few years down the road the money she got will be dissolved into out of style shoes, pedicures, manicures, hair styling, and gourmet fad lunches that will leave her uglier and fatter than before while you will have realized the 8K loss really didn’t have a lasting effect on your life except to make you smarter and better prepared to deal with life’s bulls~~~. You will win eventually, hang in there.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks for the comments, every bit helps.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 1]

We are here for you brother. Like old bill said keep us posted. If any brothers need to vent yell talk or need advice don’t hesitate to come here.

My ex took out a personal loan and signed my name for co-signer. This was after the divorce was finalized.

When they came after me years later I got a lawyer. She had to pay the loan back. I had to pay the lawyer and court fees. Around $1000.

Breaking all contact is the right thing to do. I would mention to the lawyer about having a third party for all interactions with the children. This is war.

[WPLParticipant 2390]

I know from personal experience that this s~~~ is beyond frustrating, but don’t panic until you’ve spoken with your lawyer. Laws are different everywhere, but where I live a gift from an immediate family member to the related spouse can remain separate (nonmarital) property of that spouse, IF it is set out as such in writing in advance — BUT if the gift is to the other (not family except by the marriage) or both partners, or it’s cash and it is co-mingled with joint assets, then it becomes joint property and subject to the same “equitable distribution” rules as any other marital property.

Hang in there and see what your lawyer has to say…

[TrailbossParticipant 1844]

What do you have in writing? Was it an 8K loan? Did you sign anything saying you would pay it back? Just cus a lawyer asks for $$$ don’t mean he’s going to get it…Sounds like you need to go No Contact for a week and get yourself together. Calm down and talk to your own lawyer. Get a free consult and lay it out and get some real advice….

An educated, armed populace cannot be enslaved.

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