Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Update: Wife Won't Leave
This topic contains 48 replies, has 30 voices, and was last updated by 
bigboy83 2 years, 6 months ago.
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For s~~~’s sake, man… STOP F~~~ING HER! Every time she gives up the pussy, it resets the clock on the entire situation.
What the hell are you thinking? And flirting with your lawyer? You don’t need a divorce, you need a psychiatrist. Here, I prescribe 100 hours of listening to Tom Leykis and the godfathers of MGTOW while staying as far away from any pussy as possible because CLEARLY you are addicted to women and self-delusion right now.
I’m sorry man, but it just has to be said. If you think she’s going to take your “deal” and leave that house, you’re insane. Why the hell should she leave when she can just stay in there, give up the puss now and then, set up a situation where you take a shot at her and then call the cops on you, have you barred from your own home and flirt/cry a judge into letting her take you for EVERYTHING?
For s~~~’s sake, man… STOP F~~~ING HER! Every time she gives up the pussy, it resets the clock on the entire situation.
What the hell are you thinking? And flirting with your lawyer? You don’t need a divorce, you need a psychiatrist. Here, I prescribe 100 hours of listening to Tom Leykis and the godfathers of MGTOW while staying as far away from any pussy as possible because CLEARLY you are addicted to women and self-delusion right now.
?Agreed – I need to cease sleeping with her, it does set a false sense of “things are OK and I’m staying” when they are not.
I’m not flirting with my lawyer – but it seems weird that she checks in on me and speaks to me like I’m a friend – sympathetically (thats unlike any lawyer I’ve known). There hasn’t been anything more than that, but it rings weird to me. I guess there is a chance that she feels sorry for me being “stuck” with this S.O.
I think “addicted” to pussy is a strong word- I’ve fallen into a pattern of meeting my physical needs while being in a s~~~ty relationship for years. It’s a pattern S.O. and I have.
Being honest with myself, the crux of it is this: I’m fearful of 2 things. 1) losing my ass – and as many brothers here have stated the loss of $$ and “things” is minute compared to the freedom and sanity I will have. 2) It’s a daunting thought of actually “leaving” my child and my home. The thought of not being there when my daughter goes to sleep and wakes up and my life – my dogs, my favorite chair, the attachment to the wooded surroundings where I sit on my patio.
This sounds incredibly stupid- I know.
I know its going to be hard, but leaving is what I have to do. I’ll carve out a new place that I’ll make my own. It’s just gonna suck – but being with her sucks more.
It would be help if you gave more details of the assets and children at stake. How old is your daughter?
Have you had your lawyer run numbers or give you a really good idea of what the financial situation will look like? It somewhat sounds like you’re guessing on some of these things, perhaps fearing outcomes that aren’t that realistic.
Without knowing your wife, it’s clear she’s stalling. Perhaps till son is graduated and off the books. Perhaps till daughter is out of the house. Maybe she’s just waiting till another man comes along. Maybe she is content to live this shame of a marriage.
Regardless of any of that, it’s time to set boundaries. No sex. Nothing nice to say or do for her when she’s done nothing to deserve it.
If you are set on divorce, it’s better to do it sooner rather than later…unless your daughter is almost on her on. The extra time is just assets accumulating that she can take from you.
Ok. Then do it.
It would be help if you gave more details of the assets and children at stake. How old is your daughter?
Have you had your lawyer run numbers or give you a really good idea of what the financial situation will look like? It somewhat sounds like you’re guessing on some of these things, perhaps fearing outcomes that aren’t that realistic.
Without knowing your wife, it’s clear she’s stalling. Perhaps till son is graduated and off the books. Perhaps till daughter is out of the house. Maybe she’s just waiting till another man comes along. Maybe she is content to live this shame of a marriage.
Daughter is 12 and Son is 3rd year of college. S.O. has never stood on her own 2 feet – her daddy paid for everything until she married me at her ripe age of almost 30.
I have s~~~ tons of equity in house and a sizeable 401(k). She has been dead weight on the earning side of things until the last 4-5 years she has actually started earning good money. She earns about $40k less than I do.
To your point: I quite possibly am fearing outcomes that are not realistic.
My frustration with both the lawyers I’ve consulted with is they are wishy washy about giving me #s. They simply say – you split the assets and debts in half. Well, she doesn’t have any assets.Now she will come into a big ass inheritance. I wonder if she is stalling and waiting for that. Her dad is in his 90s’s but s~~~ – he could live another 8 years or so.
What really sucks is I’ve saved and invested and she has spent and been basically a tick – sucking off of me and she gets half. F~~~ing Bulls~~~.
You are delusional. What in the world makes you think that any words coming out of her piehole are anything other than lies? She’s already proved that to you by changing things you agreed upon.
There are no good women only degrees of bad.
Anonymous12She’s stalling alright but ask yourself this; Is she stalling to try and keep the marriage together or is she stalling to gain more time to set up some kind of blitz attack on you?
She is setting up a Manstein plan.
Basically, the Sex has no warmth, joy or “love” in it…
She is using it to cloud her Victim´s vision and get time to mobilize resources against it.One of the old Chinese Masters said that – The opponent who speaks of peace is the one who prepares for War.
Here we have a Whore who exchanges sex for Time.
And OP is nothing but some Dude who, by the weakness of his flesh (among others) will get mauled by the system. Rich and Horny. And still thinking this can all be worked out.
Easy prey.
Lurkers beware.
More Popcorn!!!
I am often stunned that all american women seem to be big spenders.
Mine is economical and often stingy.This is one of her rare qualities. I mean … being a woman.
STOP THE SPENDING !!!
You will win both ways.
Not a dime for her.BTW I chose a woman lawyer after having interviewed her (my s~~~ testing her), and she passed. Also, so far she has been doing a good job by my own account. Interview them, go for the one that fits your perspective, male or female. Many women have an aversion to the sneaky tactics of devious women so, if you get a woman lawyer, she’s likely to sniff out S.O.’s next move pretty easily if S.O. is the type that showcases her intended direction.
My dad had a female attorney and she wanted him to go for the jugular on my mom. I kept telling him ‘do it! do it!” But he didn’t listen. He tried to end it amicably (which it didn’t) and he’s still bitter about it to this day and that was 11 years ago. He gave up the house, the property and all that he had built. When we moved, she rented the house out after she moved to North Carolina to continue going to bible college. Eventually she ended up selling the house to her brother. A house that for all intents and purposes should have been mine. That was my inheritance. I told him to fight and he didn’t. She threw out all kinds of venomous stuff at him during the divorce. I told him “finish her!”. Nope.
So I really thought it was a done deal. The Spoiled One agreed that we should split and I convinced her that mediation was the key to us both not losing our asses – and I reinforced that if I lost my ass it only hurt the kids. She understands that.
Then she does a 180. Says we need to go to marriage counseling (MC) and work on things. I say, no – we decided it was best to split.
I call my lawyer and she says to go to MC and it will help facilitate us splitting and make Spoiled One (S.O.) more amicable. “Go – it can’t hurt” the lawyer says.
S.O. makes good money, but spends most of it on herself while I pay the lion share of the bills. If I keep the house everything will be best for the kids b/c it will keep their lives more intact. If I have to leave and pay this mortgage AND for my own abode the kids will do without – namely it will rock my son’s boat who is off at university and making straight As.
She doesn’t want his apple cart upset – so this is my major leverage right now. But he only has 2 more years and after that my leverage is GONE. I think I can use his tuition as leverage to keep from paying alimony. So splitting now is advantageous for me.
We got to MC which was her idea mind you. We were given an assignment. We go yesterday and the kooky MC ask for our assignments. I whip mine out, typed up. S.O. – nothing. She didn’t care enough to do her assignment and the kooky ass MC didn’t call her out on not doing her homework! WTF.
Had this assignment meant she would have gotten Botox, a chemical face peel or a new outfit she would completed it in record time.
My lawyer calls me to “check in” over the weekend. (This seemed weird – she seems flirty, but thats another story). Lawyer asked , “So do you have a deal yet?”. I say no – she refuses to leave and wants to work on things and its driving me nuts.
My question to you guys: Have you successfully gotten your wife to LEAVE? I’m not talking about calling the cops and having her dragged out – but convinced he to leave??
Currently we are living under the same roof- but we don’t really speak unless its about kids or some mundane s~~~. Nothing meaningful. Oh – and I get laid every 2-3 days b/c I’m a horny SOB and she does this I think b/c she knows thats about all she can do to try and keep me. Sex for me is like brushing my teeth – she and I get off and then get up and go about our biz. Its bizarre.
So this is my existence and it sux. She seems perfectly happy to go about her life and appear to everyone that all is OK – she keeps her standard of living and we live a meaningless marriage.
I went and looked at apartments and could get one and furnish it – but I don’t see being able to pay for my son’s tuition and afford my place at the same time.
Well, here’s what I did. Now, keep in mind, I had a VAR in her car and couch, so I always knew what she was thinking prior to dealing with her. He POS mother suggested that we separate for a bit to “cool off”. This is when I learned my precious little prune’s parents were separated for a couple years when she was a child (I believe this did irrefutable damage to her). Then, she brought it up to the MC and the MC suggested for her to also offer a trial separation for us. When she came back from the MC (she wouldn’t allow me to come to the sessions), I asked how’d it go. She said the MC suggested we do a trial separation. I said okay, let do it. She was shocked and in utter dismay (I had to hold back my grin). I used her own words and actions against her. She moved out 3 weeks later to her parents house, then three months later to an apartment. It’s really not that hard to do. That is what you need to do. Make it look like it is her decision, and then push for it.
I’ve never been married but from what I’ve just read….?
WATCH YOUR ASS!
As a MGTOW I think the worst mistake a man can make is listen to a . Careful with your lawyer and remember the hive mentality.
Good luck and continue to keep us posted.
Agreed. Why did you get a female lawyer?
I’ve never been married but from what I’ve just read….?
WATCH YOUR ASS!
As a MGTOW I think the worst mistake a man can make is listen to a . Careful with your lawyer and remember the hive mentality.
Good luck and continue to keep us posted.
Agreed. Why did you get a female lawyer?
Of the 3 lawyers I spoke with she seemed the most genuine as not just trying to make money off of me. She kept talking about “collaborative” law – which is finding the best outcome for both parties. She also kept telling me to get her to the bargaining table and negotiate to give her more “things” up front to avoid alimony.
So, she just seemed the least likely to soak me financially and seems genuine about not litigating and instead settling.
– so I have a VAR in the car also. I’ve had it there off and on for over a year. I’ve heard her trash me to her friend and sister – saying some pretty horrible things about me.
Update: I emailed the MC and told her I wasn’t coming back.
I don’t see being able to get her to budge.
My exwife took no responsibility towards the end of our marriage to the point where I had the cops make her leave. She would do anything to keep the lie going so she could live her fantasy life of cheating, lying, stealing and who knows what. Maybe she did the 180 because Chad didn’t like her offer. Maybe she’s stalling to accumulate resources or to initiate some kind of weird plan. Either way, I would get out as soon as possible. Good luck brother.
My exwife took no responsibility towards the end of our marriage to the point where I had the cops make her leave. She would do anything to keep the lie going so she could live her fantasy life of cheating, lying, stealing and who knows what. Maybe she did the 180 because Chad didn’t like her offer. Maybe she’s stalling to accumulate resources or to initiate some kind of weird plan. Either way, I would get out as soon as possible. Good luck brother.
Thanks for the input. I’m trying to figure this out. My theory is she knows her lifestyle will change, so she is content to just live the plush life she has and be a total c~~~ to me.
And what recourse does a Man have? She can be a bitch, cold and unaffectionate, etc and what can we do? Not a damn thing, but keep paying the bills. Such bulls~~~.
I’ve scoured her phone, computer, days of VAR, etc – no Chad. She’s a self absorbed tick on my back – and I can’t reach her to pull her off.
What’s the difference? You either pay for school or for alimony. Money out of your pocket is money out of your pocket. The mediator could also suggest you pay her alimony and then you share in the tuition. When it’s done you still owe her alimony. I am just suggesting that you may have less leverage than you think. The mediator knows that tuition is only for a couple more years and alimony would be for longer than that, so you may be paying past the next two years anyway.
Unless you are in a position to deduct tuition on your tax return, alimony may be the better option because it is deductible. The other question is when does the clock start for alimony in your state.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
What’s the difference? You either pay for school or for alimony. Money out of your pocket is money out of your pocket. The mediator could also suggest you pay her alimony and then you share in the tuition. When it’s done you still owe her alimony. I am just suggesting that you may have less leverage than you think. The mediator knows that tuition is only for a couple more years and alimony would be for longer than that, so you may be paying past the next two years anyway.
Unless you are in a position to deduct tuition on your tax return, alimony may be the better option because it is deductible. The other question is when does the clock start for alimony in your state.
The question is when does alimony STOP in my state —- and that would be when she dies or gets married again. I’d rather pay tuition on a “side deal”. B/c that is not binding and has an end date. My boy is 3rd year, straight A student.
I’ve never been married but from what I’ve just read….?
WATCH YOUR ASS!
As a MGTOW I think the worst mistake a man can make is listen to a . Careful with your lawyer and remember the hive mentality.
Good luck and continue to keep us posted.
Agreed. Why did you get a female lawyer?
Of the 3 lawyers I spoke with she seemed the most genuine as not just trying to make money off of me. She kept talking about “collaborative” law – which is finding the best outcome for both parties. She also kept telling me to get her to the bargaining table and negotiate to give her more “things” up front to avoid alimony.
So, she just seemed the least likely to soak me financially and seems genuine about not litigating and instead settling.
– so I have a VAR in the car also. I’ve had it there off and on for over a year. I’ve heard her trash me to her friend and sister – saying some pretty horrible things about me.
Update: I emailed the MC and told her I wasn’t coming back.
I don’t see being able to get her to budge.
Received the same dog and pony show with my attorney. Mine was male, as I assumed I needed a pitbull as I had a feeling she’d fight me. She didn’t, but she just delayed and rung up legal bills. DO NOT GIVE HER A DIME WITHOUT AN AGREEMENT OF DISTRIBUTION. Another option is a mediator. I tried first a no fault where we both sign an walk away for 400 bucks. She threw the papers back at me. I then offered mediation, and she dropped any communication with me. Hence, I assumed a battle. In a short marriage, with no joint assets and separate bank accounts with her earning more than me it cost me the following:
$22,952 in legal fees
$12,500 in all wedding gifts and cash
$4,992 in me being legally required to pay her medical premiums.
========
$40,444Tread carefully my friend. Your lawyer will LOOK to increase her billing hours. They are all scum (divorce lawyers). If you can, a marriage mediator would be the cheapest if she will agree to it.
My exwife took no responsibility towards the end of our marriage to the point where I had the cops make her leave. She would do anything to keep the lie going so she could live her fantasy life of cheating, lying, stealing and who knows what. Maybe she did the 180 because Chad didn’t like her offer. Maybe she’s stalling to accumulate resources or to initiate some kind of weird plan. Either way, I would get out as soon as possible. Good luck brother.
Thanks for the input. I’m trying to figure this out. My theory is she knows her lifestyle will change, so she is content to just live the plush life she has and be a total c~~~ to me.
And what recourse does a Man have? She can be a bitch, cold and unaffectionate, etc and what can we do? Not a damn thing, but keep paying the bills. Such bulls~~~.
I’ve scoured her phone, computer, days of VAR, etc – no Chad. She’s a self absorbed tick on my back – and I can’t reach her to pull her off.
Brother, where are you placing the VARs? Have you considered a GPS as well? You need to plan for the worst. Tile Mate – Key Finder. Phone Finder. Anything Finder – 1-pack (https://www.amazon.com/Tile-Mate-Finder-Anything-Finder/dp/B01L3VEC08/ref=sr_1_5?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1500256484&sr=1-5&keywords=gps+tracker)
Stick it in her car and her purses. Cut a small hole, drop it in there, sew it up. Need to be inconspicuous. Speaking from experience here.
My exwife took no responsibility towards the end of our marriage to the point where I had the cops make her leave. She would do anything to keep the lie going so she could live her fantasy life of cheating, lying, stealing and who knows what. Maybe she did the 180 because Chad didn’t like her offer. Maybe she’s stalling to accumulate resources or to initiate some kind of weird plan. Either way, I would get out as soon as possible. Good luck brother.
Thanks for the input. I’m trying to figure this out. My theory is she knows her lifestyle will change, so she is content to just live the plush life she has and be a total c~~~ to me.
And what recourse does a Man have? She can be a bitch, cold and unaffectionate, etc and what can we do? Not a damn thing, but keep paying the bills. Such bulls~~~.
I’ve scoured her phone, computer, days of VAR, etc – no Chad. She’s a self absorbed tick on my back – and I can’t reach her to pull her off.
Brother, where are you placing the VARs? Have you considered a GPS as well?
I’ve put them in car, home office. I’ve cracked her phone password and all I’ve heard is her bashing me for being an asshole and bragging about how she spends her money on what she wants and I can just deal with it. However, I pay for virtually EVERYTHING.
A man has no recourse. Work, Provide and Pay. While these Selfish Bitches can spend their money on what they want and hardly contribute to the bills and financial commitments.
For s~~~’s sake, man… STOP F~~~ING HER! Every time she gives up the pussy, it resets the clock on the entire situation.
What the hell are you thinking? And flirting with your lawyer? You don’t need a divorce, you need a psychiatrist. Here, I prescribe 100 hours of listening to Tom Leykis and the godfathers of MGTOW while staying as far away from any pussy as possible because CLEARLY you are addicted to women and self-delusion right now.
?Agreed – I need to cease sleeping with her, it does set a false sense of “things are OK and I’m staying” when they are not.
I’m not flirting with my lawyer – but it seems weird that she checks in on me and speaks to me like I’m a friend – sympathetically (thats unlike any lawyer I’ve known). There hasn’t been anything more than that, but it rings weird to me. I guess there is a chance that she feels sorry for me being “stuck” with this S.O.
I think “addicted” to pussy is a strong word- I’ve fallen into a pattern of meeting my physical needs while being in a s~~~ty relationship for years. It’s a pattern S.O. and I have.
Being honest with myself, the crux of it is this: I’m fearful of 2 things. 1) losing my ass – and as many brothers here have stated the loss of $$ and “things” is minute compared to the freedom and sanity I will have. 2) It’s a daunting thought of actually “leaving” my child and my home. The thought of not being there when my daughter goes to sleep and wakes up and my life – my dogs, my favorite chair, the attachment to the wooded surroundings where I sit on my patio.
I completely understand your situation. Scared of losing money and paying child support and alimony, not being with your kids, and being stuck in a f~~~ed up routine with the EX. I like many men, endured the abuse until I caught my ex cheating which was devastating but also my way out (no alimony and she was so desperate to sign I got the kids and she owes child support). A lot of people give me s~~~ for staying in a toxic relationship for so long but everyone has their breaking point.
My Ex would not leave the house so I had my lawyer draw up a temporary order that I had to get the Ex to sign (which was a pain) and it basically said that I get to stay in the house and she moves out, I get the kids and she sees them 2 weekends a month. Your S.O. sounds more intelligent than mine though so you will have to consider that.
About your female lawyer. SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!! Quit it with the BS “friendly” calls and only communicate with her when necessary. Read that again! SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!! She is keeping track of every minute she is on the phone with you, every text and every email and time spent by her and her assistant. You will get a nice big fat bill later which will include documentation of every “friendly” phone call. Do not be afraid to ask her to clarify what she is charging you for and what your current bill is up to.
As others have said, stop having sex with her and start documenting everything bad she does. I would also stash away cash if possible. You don’t know evil she can get after you file for divorce…
GOOD LUCK!
So then, he who marries the virgin does well, but he who does not marry her does even better. 1 Corinthians 7:38
@haole
Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I just have so much to lose financially and she has nothing to lose AT ALL. P~~~es me off.I see you are a new poster – head over to Introductions and post up. Welcome to the board, I look forward to hearing more about how you stuck such a sweet deal!
Congrats on escaping the plantation and getting child support and custody! How’d you pull that off!?
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