Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › The pleasures of fatherhood
Tagged: alienation of affection, fatherhood, having kids
This topic contains 71 replies, has 18 voices, and was last updated by 
sidecar 1 year, 9 months ago.
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Hello, friends.
I cooked dinner for the kids, which we then ate outside. The weather was perfect- Goldilocks temperature, no bugs, sun setting behind the hills.
We laughed and talked, and then had a post-dinner Wiffleball game in the field next to our house until it got dark.Later, they got ready for bed while I read about ancient history- our collective female troubles are coded in the very DNA we share with them, it seems.
Everyone to bed, hugs and goodnights.
As much as I might have mourned the end of my marriage, I am grateful for this placid time with my kids.
(They’re my only stake in Tomorrow.)
10pm now, all is quiet. Bullfrogs and crickets. (Without their mother around, there’s ZERO drama here anymore- even the animals seem to sense it.)
Goodnight to you all.
Better The Corner Of A Rooftop....
Nope. Sorry. Not worth the price.
I went climbing today. Got up at 0400. Nobody complained to me about waking them up. Had a light breakfast all for myself. Left the dishes in the sink and the toilet seat up. Rolled out at 0415, no worries or hassle. Picked up some friends on the way and we were at the base right before dawn thanks to my new-to-me Rokon. Climbed till about 1400. Hit an awesome B&G for lunch and refreshments on the way back with some wallerinas we met at the top. Dropped off my friends. Hit home for a nice, long shower (on-demand water heater for the win) before heading out again for dinner and entertainments with a girl who thinks she can cook because who am I to refuse a free porterhouse? Turned down her offer to stay the night because tomorrow is track day. Home again at 2200. Thought I’d check in on the forums before turning in. I think I’ll sleep in the hammock on the porch tonight.
(They’re my only stake in Tomorrow.)
They’re your manacles and chain to tomorrow too.
The future is going to suck. I am so glad I’m not responsible for it. I can do whatever I want today, because tomorrow is not my problem. And unlike your kids, nobody can go crying before a judge and take that away from me on a whim. Vasectomy for the win.
Anonymous43Time with your kids is great and all, I hope it lasts. Like everything else in my life, my kids went away.
I picked up some of my belongings, or rather the kids toys from my brother. Two big buckets of Lego, remote controlled cars, and a card my daughter made for me, same daughter who 4 years later told me to go away.
In another 4 years she will come find me. Maybe.
Not sure what to do with this stuff. Give it away? Keep it? Give it back to the kids? Nice thing about leaving it somewhere else, I don’t have to look at it or think about the fun we had together. Having this stuff in my place is messing me up. I want to play with this stuff and remember the last time we played together, Lego things they made 3 years ago are intact in the boxes. They have moved on, but to me they are stuck at ages 15 and 12.
Last time I saw my older daughter, we were learning how to drive a 5 speed manual Saturn SC2 in a forest preserve. Last time we spoke was for my birthday in early November 2014, last text was about Thanksgiving and turkey gravy. She sent me a letter in January? 2015 telling me what a horrible human being I was. Last time I saw my younger daughter was March 15, 2015 in a Starbucks. What girl at age 13 tells her father to go away? Her mother sitting behind her with a big smile on her face. I drove 900 miles home that evening, driving straight through crying most of the way home.
I hope your children hold on to you for the rest of their lives, and that you don’t lose sleep over what to do with old memories, old toys, and old hopes.
I need to move these toys along. I can’t give them back to the kids, I have a no contact order. I can’t hold on to this stuff. It hurts too much to have in my home.
Anonymous3Whatever you treasure is a target that your ex will use for your destruction.
For profit, or simply because she wants revenge for “all the evil things you did”… Like taking care of family and stuff…Therefore, I will be surprised if you are no subjected to parental alienation. Do you have custody of your kids? Did your wife leave them because she does care at all? Even in that case she might want them back when it serves her purposes…
Ask blade.
Other than that I would say to you: cherish these moments, as everything in life they will pass. What we get from life ARE moments, and nothing is permanent.
Congratulations for that day with your kids, and I wish you good luck.
Awesome, ZV! Clearly, not every divorce ends up with the kidz being turned against dad. Enjoy your dramaless time! I’m super happy for you.
Good morning, gentlemen. Sun’s coming up, coffee’s hot. Just reading your replies. Thank you.
May 7,Clu-
A no contact order. There’s a special place in hell for the judge, and your ex. JudgyBitch has a piece up, where, raised away from her father by the psychomom, she finally meets him as an adult. He hands her a box- all the letters he wrote, that were returned to him.
She found out the truth as an adult. They reconciled, and she cut off contact with her lying bitch of a mother.(And I have joint custody; I was fortunate- those cards were NOT in HER favor, had she tried for full custody.)
If I were not a father, would I want to become one? Yes, I always wanted kids. But not in America. I might look elsewhere, or find a group (Mormons, orthodox, ?) where their women weren’t ruined by the femstate, and then MAYBE roll the dice.
And yes, two friends, one now dead, had their wives turn their kids against them. Absolute tragedies, where the women involved should have been jailed for alienation of affection. I face the same risk- their mother could go full psycho on me- I’m not special. I know this. My luck is that my kids are older- teens- they already know the truth. But I agree; I’ve been counseling my sons on this very issue. I’ve told them not before thirty, and only for kids, and not in America. Last night, the youngest essentially repeated that mantra back to me.
But, ultimately, I never worry over what’s outside my control. Stress is about control, gentlemen- never try to reach past your grasp.All that being said, MGTOW is also men like me- who came to Knowledge AFTER having kids.
And, while the pleasures of MARRIAGE may have ended, if they ever existed at all, the greatest joys I’ve ever had, were with my kids. That’s why it’s so evil when their mothers attempt to use them as weapons. And, why, as father’s, we need to do what we can, and enjoy our time with them- so that they can stand up and say “bulls~~~”, when the lies get tossed around.(Maybe the work being done here, paradoxically, will make it better in 20 years for those who choose to have kids. I don’t know.)
This didn’t happen overnight. It won’t end overnight. But if we, the men with kids, don’t fight for our next generation
then we’ve already failed.Better The Corner Of A Rooftop....
To May 7 2020-
Brother, I read your words. I replied above, but wanted to add to it.
Your daughter was 13- her mother was talking- not her. As she matures, she’s going to realize a lot of things; and then the evil will turn around on your ex. My daughter has said some stone cold stuff to me; I just discount it- at that age, girls are leaves in a hurricane.
I have no advice to offer you- only support. Keep the Legos, or donate them- the memories are pure- hang on to them. The bitterness will kill you; despair kills- they WILL grow up, and see with ADULT eyes, that which was done to them. (Seen that TOO.) Your ex WILL reap what she has sown.
It’s NOT over.
Better The Corner Of A Rooftop....
The taller you are the harder you fall.
The closer you are to your kids the worse will be the alienation hurt.
Don’t give a woman your children.
My Bonafides? Full custody 9months-3 years. 60/40 custody for 11 years. 50/50 custody for 1 year. Then 100% for 2 years.
Been accused of being abusive by mother 5 times in family court despite not living with her or having any contact other than sports games.
He started deteriorating due to mother pressure to alienate me.
Finally things came to a head when my son refused to do his homework or participate in class. He got in trouble with trouble kids.
I blame the custody fight for which I am responsible. I could have just walked away.
Finally he wanted to move to his mom who wouldn’t make him do homework and would take him to her home in Hawaii.
I told my son that he couldn’t go live with his mom to stop doing his homework and that I would fight it.
So, at 14, he called CPS while I was at work and accused me of threatening to hit him with a “piece of wood” when I came home from work. No reason, just going to hit him. He said I beat him mercilessly with my fists and other various objects.
I was brought before the criminal court, accused of severe physical abuse of my son by my son.
In criminal court you have to prove your innocent. They always believe the child.
Before any legal manueverings, during investigation, I was able to prove I was innocent and all charges were dropped.
My son went to live with his mom.
Cost: 14 years of my life wasted in a custody fight and 300,000.00 in attorneys fees causing me to lose my house. Emotional damage that contributed to me retiring early.
I hope the divorce doesn’t damage your children too much.
It was selfish of me to fight for custody. If I had advice to give a young man I would say don’t ever give a woman your child. Children belong to women in our society. Men don’t want to get that through their thick skulls. Playing with children is fun. For you. Get a dog. Children belong to the mother. We know how women are. Don’t give your children to a woman.
Don’t fight for custody for the sake of the children, your sanity and financial solvency.
I am allowed a minimal relationship with my son by him and his mom. I call him once per week on Sunday night. He never initiates a phone call.
He visits me once every two years if that.
I will not see him graduate, marry, have children. He will not be with me when I am old and sick. He will not come to my funeral. His mother didn’t go to her fathers funeral, and they had a good relationship. It’s just the way she and he operate.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
(They’re my only stake in Tomorrow.)
Hardly. They’re hostages used to enforce your compliance with societal expectations and judicial orders.
Just because the bars are gilded, that doesn’t make it any less of a prison.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Hardly. They’re hostages used to enforce your compliance with societal expectations and judicial orders.
Just because the bars are gilded, that doesn’t make it any less of a prison.
Hardly.
They’re a choice I made freely and would choose again.
“Societal expectations”- null term. I’ve never spoken with “society”.And, yes- as you are the legacy of those who raised you.
Like it or not, we are all the echoes of long-dead voices..
Better The Corner Of A Rooftop....
“Societal expectations”- null term. I’ve never spoken with “society”.
Think again. The “society” you claim to never speak with is why your marriage ended in divorce, why you share custody, why you paid alimony, why you pay child support, and why you do a thousand other things.
“Societal expectations” have made you so blind you can’t even see the prison you live in. You writing about the joy you share with your children during their court limited visits is like a convict writing about the joy he feels when he gets to walk in the exercise yard.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Anonymous1The thought of having children is probably my worst nightmare.
I once frog marched an ex to the pharmacy to take a morning after pill because the condom split.
The joys of watching the sun go down behind the hills would be more pleasurable alone with a glass of sauvignon.
Anonymous43I know the words falling out of my daughter’s mouth came from the c~~~. Someday, my kids will find me. We will sit and play legos together picking up where we left off.
You’re missing the point, bill.
The topic was “the pleasures of fatherhood” not- “bitter about the ex and divorce”.
(I don’t do bitter.)They aren’t mutually exclusive;
my thoughts on my ex and the divorce industry are a separate issue altogether.And lastly, I’ll leave you a protip-
False consciousness arguments are logical fallacies.Arguing that someone else’s beliefs are false because of their programming leaves you subject to a “look in the mirror” retort.
Better The Corner Of A Rooftop....
You’re missing the point, bill.
No, you are. There are none so blind as those who will not see.
The topic was “the pleasures of fatherhood”
Those pleasures are grudgingly meted out to you by a society which hates you as a man. When, where, and for how long you can enjoy those pleasures are controlled entirely by a system which presumes your guilt in all things. The pleasures you wrote about shouldn’t be controlled as they are.
You’re an unjustly imprisoned convict rejoicing in the fact that your jailers allow you to walk in the exercise yard every so often. In a perfect example of the Stockholm Syndrome in action, you’re proclaiming your gratitude for the fact that your captors allow you a few small moments of joy. You should be outraged, but instead you’re collaborating.
Tradcon thinking is a form of surrender and acquiescence. You should be better than that. You are better than that.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
I Wish that I could go back in time, and NEVER Cohabitated, Got Engaged, Married, and then of course I would never had become a father, and that would be alright with me too.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
The closer you are to your kids the worse will be the alienation hurt.
Don’t give a woman your children.
This can’t be repeated enough. The days my daughters were born were the happiest days of my life. They were systematically separated, isolated and alienated from me by a woman who betrayed me to pursue the tenets of the borderline foundation she had so indelibly inherited.
If I had advice to give a young man I would say don’t ever give a woman your child. Children belong to women in our society. Men don’t want to get that through their thick skulls. Playing with children is fun. For you. Get a dog. Children belong to the mother. We know how women are. Don’t give your children to a woman.
^^^^^^
100% correct. Not yours. Ever. Hers. And when she hates you (she will) they will be gone.His mother didn’t go to her fathers funeral, and they had a good relationship. It’s just the way she and he operate.
These behaviors do not arise out of the blue. There is almost always a history that has been hidden, ignored, or misunderstood.
xW cut me, my family, my friends out of “the family”
Her mother did the same with her father’s family
Her grandmother did the same with her grandfather’s family
The old saying “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is not just a cute saying – we spend more time on researching the bloodlines of the dogs we buy then the women who can, and will, destroy our lives.
we spend more time on researching the bloodlines of the dogs we buy then the women who can, and will, destroy our lives.
+1000000 and quoted for truth.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Those pleasures are grudgingly meted out to you by a society which hates you as a man. When, where, and for how long you can enjoy those pleasures are controlled entirely by a system which presumes your guilt in all things. The pleasures you wrote about shouldn’t be controlled as they are.
True.
But a more relevant question would be: how should we deal with this s~~~? ZV chose to accept what he could have and chose to enjoy the time he has with his kids. I think it a wise thing to do. We don’t know how the kids will be like in the future. They might even turn against their father. We simply don’t have control about that, I’d say just treasure the present moment while we could.
I’d say just treasure the present moment while we could.
There’s a difference between treasuring the moment and pretending you’re living in a Hallmark Channel movie.
Stoicism teaches us not to let circumstances outside our control disturb our equilibrium. A disturbance can either be a low or a high. While we should take full advantage of every moment life gives us, Stoicism teaches that we should also not blind ourselves to just how and why those moments are granted.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
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