That moment when…

[Vajra VarahaParticipant 1284]

Let me ask you a hypothetical.
You get back in shape.
She starts making overtures.
What are you going to do?

Sex with her AFTER you get in shape will cost you control.

Use it to your advantage brother.
Flirt like a chad with waitressss when you are out, in front of her. Let her know the market value is higher than she guessed. Make her work for it. Let her know she’s unattractive.
Grind her nose in it and never let up.
She wants out, let her go and enjoy the freedom.

[SantiagoParticipant 144]

I know it’s been a while since I posted, but I did finish the challenge, and took home some cash for my efforts.
Bought myself a Trek Domane with some of the winnings. 🙂

To respond to a couple posts made since then:

I haven’t even bothered trying for sex lately, though I still have normal male urges. I haven’t ‘stepped out’, either. Self control, I guess.
It wasn’t until after I’d gained a bunch of weight, then lost most of it, that I realized just how little effort she’s ever put into pleasing me.
You’d think, if marriage (or any relationship) was about the give and take partnership bulls~~~, that even if sex wasn’t working %100 well, even if for more physical reasons, the members of said couple would be adaptable enough to make it work. Not when she’s so uptight (Catholic school upbringing?) that sex is considered ‘naughty’ by any standard, even when married and not for procreation.
Yeah… not a good way to elegantly slide into middle age.

I’m still shaping up, and feeling a hell of a lot better. Far better when I felt like I was at Death’s door from day to day. I have a somewhat flexible job that pays well enough to set aside some cash every week (%2 savings account she doesn’t know about), and I’m trying to wrap my head around trying to sell off a bunch of the crap I’ve accumulated over the last 15 years or so.
I know chicks love to complain about how much crap their men own, but I know that’s a load of bollocks. It’s an anchor, and they love it for that.

Saving some money, have my credit cards paid down, and the future will just happen as I take it. Thanks for the kind words and support, and I’ll try to pop in more often to see how everyone else is. I’ve been as self-centered as a woman lately.

[SantiagoParticipant 144]

Oh… and yes, I bought a bike while working to save money. It was separate from the financial bit, a physical reward for the weight loss, and something (finally) for me and not her.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2745]

Santiago wrote:

In retrospect, it appears that frequent sex is a way for a woman to mask the anchor she’s tying to your neck, and by the time a fella realizes the problem, it’s too late. Then the fun stuff tapers off and you’re no more than a beast of burden.

This comment really stood out to me. A truth I understand completely, but well said.

Also congratulations on the weight loss! Reading this thread and seeing the constant reports of your weight going down is impressive. Keep up the good work.

I have recently embarked on getting back into fighting shape, so this is motivation to me. Keep it up.

At some point you will need to pull the trigger and move on. It is difficult and painful. But a year of hurt to be free is better than a miserable existence till death. Trust me. Been there and done that.

Best of luck.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3778]

Santiago !!! Good to see you on here again. Congrats on the progress.

Personally, I just can’t get my motivation up. Being overweight is keeping women away, which is good lol.

Anyway, glad you can do it !

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Glad to hear from you again Santiago. PEACE BE WITH YOU BRO.

YOUR HAPPINESS and WELL BEING is primary. All other considerations and people are secondary. This goes for every reasonable adult, even if they are happily in Blue Pill mode. Because how can you be useful to someone else, if you arent taking care of yourself FIRST?

Sometimes the best way to be a supportive Dad, is to get a divorce. That way you can be everything you are entitled to be instead of living in a marriage that SHE controls and restricts your progress and your life.

[TronParticipant 285]

Santiago, I am from AZ. Coyote Howls is cheap but it ius pretty far south, a little ways from Ajo. I prefer Norhtern AZ. I love being Single. My daughter is grown and we have a good relationship. Being single is much easier when you have a life of your own. I have a really good career that I really enjoy and I went back to school too. “That Moment” you mentioned sounds messed up. Hang in there. The suicide rate for divorced men is very high because their identity is so wrapped up in their families lives that they forget that they are men, and as men, they have certain male needs that have to do with the development of their own independence and personhood.

Tron

[MonkParticipant 17019]

Santiago wrote:

I have a somewhat flexible job that pays well enough to set aside some cash every week (%2 savings account she doesn’t know about) …

This is essential preparation against the day that you decide enough is enough. Make sure that your cash stash is where she or her lawyers can’t find it. Gold in an anonymous safety deposit perhaps, or an overseas bank account.

… and I’m trying to wrap my head around trying to sell off a bunch of the crap I’ve accumulated over the last 15 years or so.

Decluttering is good, particularly if it adds to your stash, but this may also give her a clue, so be careful. Like animals they scent danger. One hint that things are not well and she may act first, so keep everything really tight.

[Author]

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