Soulman

[RennieParticipant]

Welcome back Soulman. 🙂

[Anonymous 11]

@Soul Man: You are an inspiration to us all and most worthy of the title MAN.

Take care of your primary responsibilities as that’s what men do. Your kid(s) are most fortunate to have you.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Ok MEN…I am here to share a few thoughts.  I will try to avoid rambling but I want to say a few things tonight.

First, I am truly humbled that anyone here would even take notice of my presence or lack thereof.  That’s an overwhelming feeling to someone such as myself who has been marginalized by the people around him most of his life.  I’ve never really felt like I mattered…to anyone.  Two failed marriages certainly cemented that feeling in to my soul a long time ago.  More on that in a minute though…

While I am humbled and sincerely appreciative of the heartfelt outpouring of sentiment on my behalf here, I want to also remind you that I too am just a foot soldier in this battle for the hearts, souls, and minds of MEN.  I am no different in most respects than the next man here.  I don’t view myself as any lesser or greater.  I just speak my mind.  At times I express myself with a fine Montblanc pen and other times I express myself with a ten pound sledge hammer.  That’s just me and I make no excuses for this.  I don’t seek anyone’s sympathy nor do I seek anyone’s approval.  I do sincerely try my best to consider others though sometimes I miss the mark.  I am human first and foremost and to err is human.  We are all part hypocrisy in some measure.  This is a great truth I have learned though my many trials in my time on this planet.

I was intending to share my own story in much greater detail here with my brothers.  I guess I wanted to lay it out so the world could see the depth and breadth of pain that is inflicted on a man by a society and a legal system that is biased, cruel, and built on an agenda.  Again, I’m not looking for anyone’s sympathy here.  I made my past choices and I alone own them.  They are not anybody else’s responsibility.  I would really like to articulate certain experiences via the written word that would graphically serve as a harbinger to those who may heed my words and avoid the hell I have experienced.  However, I think for now I will keep my writings a little more broad and general in scope until some other things can be sorted out and effective strategies can be put in to action for our corner of the manosphere known as MGTOW.com.   O.K., now that I have that out of the way….

Essentially, I am a product of a “single parent household” that came about during the frenzy of the E.R.A. in the 70s.  In my specific story, I am not going to wholly assign blame to either parent.  There was a very convoluted dynamic going on there.  The short version is basically my father disappeared when I was very young.  As a result my childhood was very short-lived.  I was forced to grow up very quickly and was faced with all kinds of things with which a child isn’t equipped to deal.  An emotionally abusive step-father enters the picture down the road and the stage for me was set for self-destruct mode.  This self-destruct mode remained in effect from the time I was 12 until somewhere in my early 30s.  Despite my best efforts, I lived though it all.  I will just say this;  I believe in a Supreme Intelligence 110% and I also believe we are here on this planet as individuals for a tangible reason.  I’m not looking for any debate on this point.  There is not a man alive that could sway me from my belief.  Enough said… Anyway, I later went on to have a reasonably successful career.  I got an education as well.  I eventually settled down and my first son came along.  Unfortunately, I didn’t realize nor understand his mother was an absolute clinical sociopath.  Well, let’s just say in retrospect that I now have an appreciation and understanding for the fact that her pathology and my own pathology resulted in a very damaging and toxic relationship.  The short version is I got decimated in the legal system because she knew how to turn on the hysterics and work the court.  It was ugly and that ugly lasted for 18 years.  It also resulted in parental alienation for yours truly.  There are no words to express how painful it is to be in that position.  I think any other man who has experienced this will tell you the same.  Anyway, it was a bad situation with consequences that are still in play today.  The only difference is now I don’t have the 16 ton weight of the legal system hanging over my head.  I am trying my best to repair the damage she did to my relationship with my first son.  It is a slow process but I am overjoyed to have the chance to try and fix things with him.

“Good thing you learned your lesson, eh dummy?”  HA!  Apparently not….

After having sworn off marriage forever, I thought I had met the mythical unicorn otherwise known as the NAWALT.  This was in 2007.  This woman totally rocked my world when I first met her.  I was so taken with her that I thought, “Finally, the ONE!”  I wish I could go back in my magic time machine and slap the ever loving snot out of myself.  Well, let’s just say she was a great actress!  The reality emerged quickly after saying, “I do.”  All I could think was, “Damn!  I did it again!”  Well, my little NAWALT cupcake got pregnant right after getting married.  We had a little boy.  Yes, he is mine too.  He is the spitting image of me, poor kid!  In any case, our marriage went off the rails HARD.  I won’t back track and bore you with details but I’ve gotten quite accustomed to losing everyone I care about in this world.  However, losing this woman hit me HARD.  Two years after splitting with her I am still analyzing why this ONE made such a traumatic impact on me.  I am MUCH better but the wound on my heart is still tender.  However, please understand that even the most hardened combatant can be shaken from time to time as he flashes back to some earth-shattering event he experienced.  This still happens to me from time to time and I never see it coming.  It doesn’t happen very often anymore but when it does, it is devastating.  There are other factors in play but I’m not going to elaborate on them just now.  Hope you understand….

I have been forced to personally GROW through a great deal of introspection and self-examination in the past 2 years.  I look at myself in a completely different light now.  I now value myself and appreciate my talents and qualities.  It only took me 47 years on this planet to figure this out.  I have never been more at peace with myself.  However, I didn’t do this by myself.  I thank God for bringing me to the trials.  I thank Him for the blessings that have come to me through these tribulations.  I have the most awesome and beautiful little 4 year old boy who loves his daddy.   He is just like me when I was that age.  There are so many introspective insights he has inspired by simply being a force in my life.  I AM fortunate that his mother doesn’t mess with our relationship.  I AM fortunate that she lacks the desire to rise to the level of responsibility that I feel compelled to do as a parent.  My glass is half-full because all these circumstances have converged to help me love myself.  I feel like I have been given a second chance to be a daddy.  I feel like I have been given my first chance to understand what real, true love is from another human being, my little boy.  I am so thankful for him!  I love him more that life itself and I mean that in every sense of the word!

Now back to MGTOW.com.  I have only scratched the surface with my little story above.  There’s much more detail that I could share but won’t at this time.  I don’t feel as if I am unique here on this site.  I am certain there are several, if not hundreds more men here with far worse stories.  They definitely have my understanding and sympathy.  I think that is why many of us come here.  We are looking for camaraderie.  You see, we are not a bunch of “creepy basement dwellers”.  I think by and large we are honorable MEN.  Many of us have been put through an emotional hell.  However, society at large refuses to acknowledge the fact that we are human beings first before we are MEN.  We feel.  We bleed.  We suffer.  What is so hard to understand about that?  In any case, I think MGTOW.com fills a very critical gap for MEN such as ourselves.  While I certainly appreciate the sentiments towards me at MGTOW.com, the REAL force of nature making this experience possible for us all is KeyMaster and his Team.  If there are thanks and adulations to give here, then they rightly belong to that group of MEN for doing this for US.  That’s my $.02 on the matter…

Well, I need to wrap this up for now.  I’m sure I will think of something else I wish I had said but that can be saved for another time I suppose.  Thanks to KeyMaster and Team for making this happen.  Be blessed my friends!

Kind regards…Soul Man

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

“Thanks to KeyMaster and Team for making this happen.”

Well said, Thanks KM

A few saying I ran together on paper that sounded appropriate

The greatest loss in life is not death,
It’s what dies inside while you’re still alive.
The world ages us too fast.
We grow up too quickly,we stop dreaming too early,
and we developed the ability to worry
at far too young an age.
our greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one
thought over another.
Most people are mirrors,
reflecting the moods and
emotions of the times;
few are windows,
bringing light to bear
on the dark corners
where troubles fester
The whole purpose of
education is to turn
the mirrors into windows.
The second greatest challenge in life
is discovering who you are.
The greatest challenge is
being satisfied with
what you find.

The need to write comes from the need to make sense of one’s life and discover one’s usefulness.
I may not be a great man , but I have Faith that I will write some great works.It is hard for me to see how a great man can be atheist. Without the sustaining influence of faith in a divine power we could have little faith in ourselves. Faith is the great motive power,and no man realizes his full possibilities unless he has a deep conviction that life is eternally important and that his work, well done, is part of an unending plan.
My mind and body are attempting to exchange rolls as I get older. In my younger days my body was dynamic ever changing and moving, now its my mind that can’t be slowed or stopped. I must stay vigilant against my body getting too static. I should get off my butt and go for a bike ride!

This block quote is driving me nuts how can I know what will be in the block? and why does it put all my text in it?  edit time and time again still it farts in my face and does something unexpected.

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[AFTParticipant 2722]

The Antichrist of white knights is now on a mission from God.
Great story Soul Man, I am glad you have worked things out, and I am happy you are back. The mistakes we make, sometimes are more about our circumstances and environment than our own actions. In another time and place those same “mistakes” would actually be the best coarse of action. I can’t see anything you did being anything other than the right thing to do.
Selfishly for us the main thing is you are back. Looking forward to your colorful descriptions, those jizz slurping slore jizzbags won’t know what hit them.

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[WarratahParticipant 895]

The thing that strikes me in reading Soulman’s and so many other stories here is how many of us have an almost religious/mystical experience when the s~~~ has really hit the fan. And by SHTF I don’t mean just a bad day at work, I mean when your world has collapsed and you are surrounded by darkness. I think MGTOW is an almost zen-like life-view where we realise that we can’t save or help another individual, that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be unduly influenced by the actions of others and that ultimately our happiness and progress depends solely upon ourselves. And this isn’t a selfish outlook, as Soulman has indicated above it is only by putting himself in a better place that he is now better able for both his sons.
The one good thing that these crazy bitches have left us with is the ability to connect with ‘God’/’life force’/’whatever you want to call it’. And that, I think, is the Red Pill moment …
God bless you, Soulman!

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

[….Participant 305]

Hey Soulman…welcome back! We never exchanged comments but I always enjoyed your posts. Sounds like your 4 year old will profit greatly by your hard earned wisdom.  Take care!

[Anonymous 0]

Wow, Soul Man, your story makes me nearly speechless.

It feels good to have someone here a the very same age, in deed with an absolutely different experience in relationships.

I guess you can “forgive” me when I say I am glad that the dramas you’ve been living through, passed me by.

So Welcome, again.

CHEERS!!!

 

[Anonymous 11]

Thanks for sharing that Soul Man. It took me 45 years to figure something actually was not totally right. MGTOW.com at 47 finally made me realize that I was not the actual problem.

The way modern culture dehumanizes men is what drives me to fight.

[Anonymous 0]

Anonymous wrote:

The way modern culture dehumanizes men is what drives me to fight.

Fight the good fight every moment
Every minute every day
Fight the good fight every moment
It’s your only way
All your life you’ve been waiting for your chance
Where you’ll fit into the plan
But you’re the master of your own destiny
So give and take the best that you can
                                                                                  – Triumph – Allied Forces –

CHEERS!!!

 

[Anonymous 42]

I’m glad you’re back! I’ve been navigating without email. Hands and arms stretched out feeling my way through the darkness. I miss the bunker……Bat cave DEAD……Hal 9,000 Daaaaazzzzeeee, Daaaaaaazzzzzeeeee, Daa…………….zzzz…………eeeeee, any way, I thought you were going Zeppelin on me!

Anonymous wrote:

********It took me 45 years to figure something actually was not totally right. MGTOW.com at 47 finally made me realize that I was not the actual problem. The way modern culture dehumanizes men is what drives me to fight.

P.S. F~~~in’A PIG, You said it!

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

I want to express a heartfelt thanks to everyone who posted up in this thread.  I wish I had time to type out an individual response to each one of you so you all know, on an individual basis, that I absorb the gravity of your words and incorporate them in to my paradigm.  It is comforting to know that I am among comrades in this battle, both inner and outer.

One comment by Harpomason especially hit home with me because it has been the epitome of my life;  “The greatest loss in life is not death…it’s what dies inside while you are still alive…”  Now THAT is a PROFOUND and succinct statement that distills much of my life experience.  I don’t want to sound macabre but death is something that has haunted me in its many forms throughout my life.  It’s been a dance with death for me in one capacity or another.  I don’t care to elaborate on that point any further.  However, I will say that at times I feel like Brad Pitt’s character in the movie “Fury”.  He is a reluctant but strong leader whose character has been been forged in the furnace of war.  He found himself in a leadership role by default because his comrades fell one by one.  He doesn’t relish the position by any means but he does step up and answer the call of duty.  Sometimes his fury is unbridled and he exhibits some of the ugliest human qualities imaginable to further a nobler and greater cause.  He is dichotomy in it’s truest sense.  There are times he is still shaken and brought to his knees by the carnage of war.  However, he always manages to rise to his feet and carry on.  Now I’m not trying to paint myself as some hero or warrior…not by a long shot.  I can just relate to that character and the spectrum of dynamic emotions he experienced.  These circumstances and situations often put oneself in a position to deal with cognitive dissonance.  This is why I often mention hypocrisy and the need for a strategic retreat to resolve the inner conflict of ideas.  It’s easy to be pulled in many different directions in this war.  It’s confusing and sometimes brings one to his knees.  However, I think it also forces the smart man in to confronting the true nature of his demons.  While the process may look unbecoming to the outside world, the wise man grows from this experience and hopefully contributes something positive to the world as a result.  That’s my personal philosophy at least…I am trying to find the boundaries of my own hypocrisy.  My desire is that territory shrinks as my spirit grows.

I love humanity and if I had my wish we would all, both male and female, rise above the fray and evolve to a higher state of consciousness.  Human beings are capable of such beautiful and wonderful things.  They are also capable of the most horrendous atrocities.  This inspires me to hate that which I love.  There is the summation of my cognitive dissonance in the big picture.  I internalize this and struggle with it.  It sometimes manifests itself in an ugly manner.  I am not proud of that when it happens.  However, life has taught me to try my best to turn a negative in to a positive so I try to learn from my own mistakes and grow.  I think that’s the best any of us can do.

Anyway, I’m just rambling so I must go get more coffee!  It’s my only vice these days.  I work a brutal schedule and have a ton of responsibility outside of work so I live on caffeine!  It’s probably the one thing in life I couldn’t live without!  HA!

Take care my friends…talk to you soon!

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Anonymous 11]

Soul Man wrote:

I love humanity and if I had my wish we would all, both male and female, rise above the fray and evolve to a higher state of consciousness.  Human beings are capable of such beautiful and wonderful things.

Soul Man, I believe exactly in this too. Yet, this is the exact opposite of what feminism preaches. Life is not easy as we all have our own crosses to bear. I look at the terrible things the older women, now since passed, in my family had faced and conquered over the years and now listen to the trite things modern women complain about having to “suffer”. I can only say that I am ashamed to even be listed in the same species as them.

I had to +1 you to 700.

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Hey Soulman, welcome back, bro’, I just knew you’d eventually make it back here, safely & and given enough time. Even if it had taken you a few days or maybe weeks longer I still think, that virtually everybody in here would’ve understood that, too …

All the best back @ home, man.

 

Ned T.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Big Viking Chef BVCParticipant 1286]

I have to agree with SoulMan that Keymaster deserves my gratitude…not that he’d ever ask for it.  And I am thankful for my new found brothers.

My life has changed for the better because of mgtow.com, for so many reasons.  This website and the brothers that meet here have given me a clarity that was lacking in my thoughts.  I am currently evaluating whether I want the second half of my life to look like the first half.  “Midlife Crisis” they call it.  Well, it’s just a decision really.  Yes or no.  It’s a big one, and mgtow is helping me to not f~~~ up the choice with bulls~~~.

Thank you for giving so much, helping so many, and being so f~~~in’ cool.

BVC

Swallow this RED PILL ===> Men will lay down their lives for their brothers, their women and their children. This makes Men useful as slaves. Women will lay down their lives for ONLY their children. To expect more from women is just a FANTASY created by society and reinforced by the unconditional love that we experienced from our Mothers. The key to freedom is the understanding that the woman you meet is not going to fantastically love you like your Mother did. If you buy into the fantasy, then she is your new master. If you do not buy into the fantasy, then she is nothing, and you retain your freedom.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

@ soulman
‘swamped with putting together a couple significantly risky business deals here lately, or I would have posted on this thread sooner. Always good to see your comments. Grateful to have this place where your’s and other’s are as easily accessed as they are here. The mission from God continues…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

@ soulman
‘swamped with putting together a couple significantly risky business deals here lately, or I would have posted on this thread sooner. Always good to see your comments. Grateful to have this place where your’s and other’s are as easily accessed as they are here. The mission from God continues… 😀

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Anonymous wrote:

I look at the terrible things the older women, now since passed, in my family had faced and conquered over the years and now listen to the trite things modern women complain about having to “suffer”. I can only say that I am ashamed to even be listed in the same species as them.

Ahh CPig (referring in particular to your very last line of your quote on quote perspective here…), don’t be to hard on youself, dude. Sometimes it helps if you take a few steps back to see the whole picture. Let me give you a quick example on this one: I quite recently watched a very interesting and hilarious video called “No power to the Dummies” (unfortunately though that video was in German).

Now what the speaker in that report was putting into perspective in a “thoughts experiment” and quite gripingly and graphically so as well as in a funny way, was that the whole time of the existence of humanity and or human culture compared to the whole time of the cosmos’s history is nothing but a ridiculously brief “hick up” and in that merely a joke. He basically drew a time line of the whole of cosmos’s history as a reference into just one year measured on earth. So he would then list all the land mark cosmological history dates based on that one fictitious year ie.:

January 1st at zero hour as the very “big bang”, beginning of September as the formation of sun and earth, end of September would mark the very first and most primitive forms of life on earth ever talked about, middle of December the first fishes dwelling in the seas, from December 28th until December 30th the reign of the dinosaurs on earth, December 31st a mere few minutes to midnight the first appearance of what he refers to as “homo sapiens dummy” and then within the last few seconds prior to midnight that would be the time of the establishment of our human cultural achievements, which we all praise so high, and then the final countdown to the happy new year fireworks would be as follows:

10 …  the young stone age ends and the bronze age begins

9 …   in Egypt the first written letters are being invented and used

8 …  the first ceremonial burials in Eqypt’s valley of the kings are being conducted for the first time

7 …  the Chinese invent the compass and in Greece there’s the transition from the bronze age to the iron age

6 …  Pythagoras carries out his studies in Greece, same as Buddha does in India and Confucius does in China

5 …  towards the end of the Greek higher culture Rome is rising towards world power

4 …  the rise of christianity as the dominant religion

3 …  the antique culture has vanished and the early medieval period starts

2 …  the medieval in full swing during the times of the crusades and the inquisition

1 …  persecution of witches and Copernicus turns the whole perception of the universe and its planets upside down

0 … Happy new Year!  Cheers everyone…!

 

Ok, so on that note, where could you possibly put feminism on that scale…? I’d say the very last one or two microseconds if that…      … now how’s that for a real cool treat right there for you party people, huh…?

 

Ned T.

PS.: As much as I wish those original (German) lines were my own, alas I can’t take any credit for them no doubt…

… still thought it might well be worth sharing though.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[Anonymous 42]

Hey Soul Man, White Nights work for the inequity of Man, You saw that preacher man on the comedy thread I gutted, and was immediately labeled a heretic, that’s the story of my life for shedding light on the darkness. When you see danger approaching, and you’re the only one that sees it, only a fool would be worried about self image more than another person’s safety. I truly believe we all shall meet our maker. I only hope I can be pleasing to HIM. Sometimes he puts us in the line of fire to strengthen us, so we can worn others. I found telling the truth takes courage. Cowards (White Knights) tend to gather and bash truth tellers, I have the emotional and financial scars to prove it. When truth reigns, freedom reigns! When lies prevail, tyranny prevails. I CHOSE FREEDOM!!!

I totally understood and agreed with your Antichrist to White Knights slogan, they are truly antichrist in their protection and coveting of modern female infidelity, they stop the light of truth from penetrating. Simply said, they protect and promote feminist darkness. My mission from GOD is to expose all the darkness to the light of truth. I am safe from the darkness, the darkness of feminism damn near cost me my life. I do not fear death, I am already dead. Yet I live……. Why? What’s your journey, I have my answers, I’ve seen the light.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Again…thanks to my bros here for the kind words and good thoughts.  They are greatly appreciated and I do read them all.  I wish we could all just sit down in a cigar lounge, pool hall, bar, etc., together and exchange ideas over each’s beverage of choice.  I love the written word very much but sometimes it’s just doesn’t fully convey the message like hanging out and shooting the breeze over a few drinks.  I just want to make sure you know I do see all the heartfelt expressions that you guys take the time to write to me.  Although I’m not worthy it means the world to me.  I feel guilty at times because I  should take the time to pen individual and unique responses to each of you.  Unfortunately my time gets very tight due to my responsibilities and obligations.  I am one of those MEN who provide a critical service to 1.6 million people.  That responsibility comes with a whack schedule.  I am quite strung out from that alone.  I’m not looking for praise or recognition for what puts food on the table.  It’s just a job that has to get done so society can function.  It’s not who I am.  On the other hand, my other job REALLY defines me.  It’s more of a passion honestly.  It’s being a daddy.  I had the best time taking my little boy to the arcade for an evening of video game fun.  He is my #1 priority.  He does look a little puzzled when I try to slip in a post during the day and I tell him, “Daddy’s working.”  He is 4 and he doesn’t understand obviously…but I will teach him the importance of being his own man as he is able to absorb little bites of the lesson.  I can tell already he’s going to be a son of a gun!  🙂

Take care y’all…

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Author]

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