This post has been long overdue. I registered in April this year (back when my divorce s~~~-storm started really gaining momentum). There was a certain amount of relief knowing I wasn’t alone in the process. Since my registration and absence from MGTOW, much has transpired. Let me shed some insight…since this is an introduction after all.
I’ve been in the United States Navy for 17 years. Of that, married for 14. I married young…I was an idiot with no guidance or mentor to steer me away. Nonetheless, I own all my ignorance to the matters surrounding love, marriage, and the ensuing trap that would haunt me years down the line. I’ve been on countless deployments and detachments across the globe, all of which kept me away from 3 beautiful children. A sacrifice I made and did proudly for the sake of taking care of my children financially.
Fast forward to 2015, I made the decision to no longer live in an unhealthy environment, staying with a woman I was not in love with and didn’t show any affection for. I knew, once it was time for retirement or I was in my 50’s, I didn’t want to look back on life and have any regrets. Life is too short to live a half-ass life, with one foot in the door and the other foot out.
Mid 2016 the divorce process commences. Paid my retainer of $3500 which would later be the worst decision ever, next to the obvious vows part.. Trial comes and little did I know, having integrity and being honest would be detrimental to my case. The financial affidavit was drawn up twice. Initially, she claimed there was an even distribution of assets and property (she had $2500 and I had $2500). 10 months down the road, it changed, and now I had $10000 worth of property and she had $0. When I addressed it at the first court proceeding, she stated to the judge “I didn’t understand what the question was asking me”. Horses~~~. When we started delving into the parenting she claimed I wasn’t around and wasn’t active in my children’s lives. Mind you, I was at every event, sports game, and coached my kids’ sports teams. Again, the lies were in her favor. I was actually asked why I didn’t make more attempts to visit my kids who were 4 states away, while I was on sea duty and constantly adhering to the latest operational commitments. As with any institution/organization/company, leave or vacation time is accrued. I had to be frugal about the management of the days I had so I could actually take leave during the summer (when I had custody and visitation).
The final divorce decree was entered on 24 July, 2017. Here’s the breakdown…it’s going to get ugly here.
1. Pay $2000 monthly in child support.
2. Pay $1000 monthly in alimony for my ex to attend school over a period of 5 years.
3. All visitation and transportation costs will be at my own expense. No meeting half way, no shared costs.
4. Wife entitled to 50% of my gross retired pay at the rank of E-7.
5. The ex will remain a beneficiary of my life insurance policy in the amount of $400,000, even after my retirement in 3 years.
6. My entire Thrift Savings Plan (essentially 401k) of $17,751 was awarded to her as well. Not a large amount but it’s still f~~~ed.
7. Payments of no less than $3000 per year will be made to her attorney until entire balance is paid.
8. Half of 2016 tax return was applied to a credit card she ran up while I was deployed. The other $5000 of last years tax return was due to her attorney, 10 days from the final decree. UNPAID.
9. Wife claims the kids every year as exemptions for tax purposes.
10. An amount of $1910 was due to her, in relation to the equitable distribution scheme, within 90 days of the Final Judgement. UNPAID.
11. Based on the time “sharing” schedule, I have my kids for 42 overnights and she has them for 323.
12. 90 days written notice must be given to go out-of-state with my children.
Other items of interest:
1. I presently make $2,876 every two weeks.
2. After I pay her $3000 per month, pay my mortgage, expenses, etc… my take home is $252.
3. Wife and her lawyer are taking me to court for contempt due to retroactive arrearages totaling $9,872 and for the unpaid $5000 from last years taxes. The amount the court ordered me to pay during the duration of the divorce fluctuated 9 times, often as high as $2000 EACH pay period. Meaning my take home was around $1300 for the ENTIRE month. As tough as it was, I NEVER missed a single order from the court to pay and child support was ALWAYS paid.
4. Oddly enough, my ex-wife’s lawyer, after the final judgement, recommended I pursue a malpractice lawsuit. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to consider it.
Court is scheduled for November 21st. I have a new attorney now, one that will hopefully shed light on the financial hardship this has created and how bias the final judgement is. All in all, it’s been a nightmare. I’m trying to stay as optimistic as possible. I’m driving for Uber/Lyft in the off-time (it’s flexible). I’ve also applied with Amazon to work evenings but no shifts are available yet. Job applications have been submitted. I’ve considered creating a GoFundMe page but I don’t know if it’ll provide any relief. It’s a cold f~~~ing world out there fellas. I can’t f~~~ing believe how outrageous all of this is.
In closing, any and all advice/feedback is welcomed. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. Pleased to be here.
L. Euler 1 year, 4 months ago.
