Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Reality is much better than Illusion.
This topic contains 46 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by Hermit 1 year ago.
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I don’t know why you’d be shocked with 3 other guys here posting the same story, and I’m positive there are many more men out there with the same story.
Yeah, I saw they did. You have been the first, so I read yours. I really can’t get it, how you, guys, could tolerate all that crap. After all of that I can say, my blue pills were, at least, with the taste of sugar and mint. 😀
Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
Ultimately, women don’t love, because love isn’t real. Women are driven by unconscious evolutionary programming to seek out males for resources. They are following their genetic programming to procreate.
Having complicated brains, we like to complicate explanations for simple evolutionary drives with sugar-coating and terms like “romantic love”.Neither do we, is just hornyness, once big head takes control (if you have two brain cells) is like WTF am i doing?
Unfortunatelly common sense aint common.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
I don’t know why you’d be shocked with 3 other guys here posting the same story, and I’m positive there are many more men out there with the same story.
Yeah, I saw they did. You have been the first, so I read yours. I really can’t get it, how you, guys, could tolerate all that crap. After all of that I can say, my blue pills, at least, were with the taste of sugar and mint. 😀
Well my blue pill tasted like s~~~ and i had to take it with p~~~ from an old sailor with gonorrea.
F~~~ that s~~~, i rather have my sour red pill and querosene.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
I don’t know why you’d be shocked with 3 other guys here posting the same story, and I’m positive there are many more men out there with the same story.
Yeah, I saw they did. You have been the first, so I read yours. I really can’t get it, how you, guys, could tolerate all that crap. After all of that I can say, my blue pills were, at least, with the taste of sugar and mint.
I couldn’t tolerate it, so, here I am, 7 years later, free from it all. The only reason it lasted as long as it did was because I believed my son deserved to have his father living in his home and also because I was trying to financially prepare to start over.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Yeah, I saw they did. You have been the first, so I read yours. I really can’t get it, how you, guys, could tolerate all that crap. After all of that I can say, my blue pills were, at least, with the taste of sugar and mint.
I’ll tell you how. First off, I didn’t get married to the person that I was married to. She completely changed after we said I do. And not that she just pulled the mask off that second and said F~~~ YOU, but slowly over time. A little thing here, a little thing there. Why does it matter how I fold the towels? But if it doesn’t matter to me but it does to her, then can’t you just please fold them the way I like them? Otherwise you’re going out of your way to be a dick. Then next week it’s something else. Then the woman that said she would never stop working when we had kids decided to stop working when we had kids.
Are you really going to go get a divorce over the way the towels are folded? Remember, YOU are giving up half YOUR s~~~. For f~~~ing towels? My divorce cost me about $500,000. That’s a lot of money over the way the towels are folded. So you tolerate it because it isn’t worth a half a million dollars. But like the dude trying to push the rock up the hill in Greek mythology, you never get that f~~~ing rock up the hill. There’s always another higher peak.
When the kids were growing up, I just figured that once they got a little older it would be our turn again. And that it would be pretty selfish of me to put one more thing on her plate and complain that we didn’t get enough time together without the kids. So I tried to make the best of the time I was spending with the kids. Knowing that when they became teenagers they wouldn’t want to spend as much time with me. That’s what I told the councilor the one time we went. And it made a bunch of sense. And the councilor said she totally got it. And the wife said we didn’t need to go back, that we were fine. And then six months later we were sitting a a restaurant (public place right) and I was being told that she wanted a divorce. Right before our youngest daughter’s dance recital.
You put up with it because you think it will change. You put up with it because you think it’s normal. After all, all of your friends are going through the same s~~~. And you put up with it because it will cost you a half a million dollars if you don’t.
Order the good wine
You put up with it because you think it will change. You put up with it because you think it’s normal. After all, all of your friends are going through the same s~~~. And you put up with it because it will cost you a half a million dollars if you don’t.
Yep, that’s just the way life is. It’s what everyone does and it’s what you’re supposed to do as well. That’s the brainwashing of society. “You want to live alone and be happy? You’re f~~~ing weird!”
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Well, I’ve been superficial in my judgments. I haven’t kids so I forgot someone can have them 🙂
Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
Well, I’ve been superficial in my judgments. I haven’t kids so I forgot someone can have them
No worries. And I didn’t mean the tone to be harsh, other than to paint the picture that it sucks when you realize you’ve walked into a trap and you don’t know how to get out. There aren’t any good options. And the optimist in you thinks that maybe, just maybe, the trap will open back up and life will be good. But you are relying on a woman who stopped loving you and now has contempt for you to do another 180 and start loving you again. And that pretty much is never going to happen.
The biggest brick to hit me in the face as I was going through my divorce when I read the following. If you want something in a relationship, you have to give it. If you want someone to love you, you have to love them. If you want respect from someone you have to respect them. You can’t demand respect from someone that you have no respect for. If you want someone’s attention, you have to give them your attention. If you are asking someone to give you something that you aren’t giving them, then you are the problem. And if you are asking for something that you ARE giving them, then THEY are the problem.
As soon as I read that I realized that my ex had quit on our relationship about 10 years before me. And the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. And that was the last time I worried about what I did wrong. Was I perfect? Hell no. But did I quit trying? Hell no.
And women wonder where all the good men are….
Order the good wine
Interesting how all you guys stated that in the long run you were better off divorced, both emotionally and financially. I’ve always thought that women come out ahead in the short run, men come out ahead in the long run. This confirms that. In my work I see so many women that have been divorced for years and get to retirement dead busted broke.
Interesting how all you guys stated that in the long run you were better off divorced, both emotionally and financially. I’ve always thought that women come out ahead in the short run, men come out ahead in the long run. This confirms that. In my work I see so many women that have been divorced for years and get to retirement dead busted broke.
This is a good thread. We all know women are mostly the same and we have all seen posts that are similar, but the posts in this thread paint a very distinctly similar picture of what marriage is like for men. As I said earlier, I’m sure there are more stories out there that are very much the same as these.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
As soon as I permanently separated from my old lady, my retirement savings rate tripled. And she was always whining that my pay was never enough. Now, I’ve got a nice condo with great equity that I can do whatever the f~~~ I want in. Being on my own is the only way to go and I’m not giving that up for ANYTHING.
We just don't realize life's most significant events while they're happening. Back then, I thought, "Well, there'll be other days". I didn't realize that that was the only day. - "Moonlight" Graham
As soon as I permanently separated from my old lady, my retirement savings rate tripled. And she was always whining that my pay was never enough. Now, I’ve got a nice condo with great equity that I can do whatever the f~~~ I want in. Being on my own is the only way to go and I’m not giving that up for ANYTHING.
I would really like to know where I’d be now had I never married.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Try not to think too much about the past, Hermit. Just be grateful for where you are and that there’s hope for the future.
We just don't realize life's most significant events while they're happening. Back then, I thought, "Well, there'll be other days". I didn't realize that that was the only day. - "Moonlight" Graham
Try not to think too much about the past, Hermit. Just be grateful for where you are and that there’s hope for the future.
Oh I’m not worried about it, just curious, that’s all. For all I know, I’d be a lot worse off now had I not been married. She actually convinced me to quit my job and go to school and supported me during that whole time. I hate to admit she did something positive for me, but it’s true. I really hate to admit that maybe because of that, the decades of misery may have been worth it. LOL
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Ultimately, women don’t love, because love isn’t real. Women are driven by unconscious evolutionary programming to seek out males for resources. They are following their genetic programming to procreate.
Having complicated brains, we like to complicate explanations for simple evolutionary drives with sugar-coating and terms like “romantic love”.In the past people died a lot younger too. Women died a lot more in childbirth. Men died from a lot more hard and dangerous work or wars.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
5 years ago everything in my life was revealed to me as an illusion. Wife moved out and served me papers. Her reason was she never loved me. Ya okay.Years of marriage and building a family gone in a half hour conversation. The deal she gave me was good, so I didn’t fight it. I signed the papers and we were officially divorced by April.
I don’t need to go into detail the loss I felt. Most here understand the heartache and the rage. In reality, it was the best thing she could have done for me. She put me out of my misery. Time gives a man perspective, she actually set me free. No more illusions, now I can realize I wasn’t the problem.
In the illusion, I was always thinking if I do this then she will be happy. Years of this living. Hoop after hoop after hoop. Constantly having to improve my behavior to make her happy, so my life would be tolerable. I walked on eggshells in my own home FOR YEARS. To the public she was a sweet Christian woman. Reality was she never once prayed for me.
Reality was she got her kids from me, got her degree from me, got thousands from my account. Reality was she most definitely never loved me, ever.
Reality can be a lot to handle. I am alone. There is nobody to back me up. I am a couple of major events away from being homeless. We all are. In the past, this reality would push me to seek comfort and security from a woman. But that was the past illusion, now being monk for well over a year, I have learned that I am very capable of handling life on my own. Years of living paycheck to paycheck, now I have plenty in the savings. Strange how that worked out.
The more time goes by without physical contact of females, the more NFG I acquire. I look at the reality instead of the illusion now. The approval of women is no longer needed or wanted. One thing that has change recently is that women don’t bother me as much now. The dumb s~~~ they do now is just a bug on the windshield. Before, it would take me a half a day to recover from something a woman said/did to p~~~ me off. Now, I just laugh or I don’t even hear them.
It’s just about a daily occurrence where I get reminded on how great my life is now. I am truly free. I’m free from the bondage of a lousy wife. I’m free from having to make excuses for someone else’s behavior. I’m free from making excuses for my OWN behavior. If my life is not what I want it to be, I have nobody to blame but myself. I come home to peace and the love of my dog. Fellas, there is great joy in those very simple ideals. Embrace the solitude don’t fight against it. Those of us who are free in this manner should rejoice! The illusion still tempts me on a regular basis, but the longer I resist the easier it is to live in REALITY! I get reality checks from this website and for that I am grateful, much respect for those who contribute to the forum. Reality can be a shock sometimes, but at least we are not living in an illusion.
SpleeferDepends.
Reality of marriage sex sucked hard, reality of no more marriage sex sucks. Illusion and right hand sex much better than reality.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
Depends.
Reality of marriage sex sucked hard, reality of no more marriage sex sucks. Illusion and right hand sex much better than reality.Oh no doubt, that’s the elure of the illusion. As soon as I remove sex from the equation, reality kicks into gear. My wife and I had sex at least once a week all the way to the end. That was the biggest challenge for me going monk. I never had a sex drought since I was 16, lol. I’ve always had a gf or was married. When I got divorced I didn’t learn my lesson. I needed more hits to the head first. Haha
Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
Try not to think too much about the past, Hermit. Just be grateful for where you are and that there’s hope for the future.
Oh I’m not worried about it, just curious, that’s all. For all I know, I’d be a lot worse off now had I not been married. She actually convinced me to quit my job and go to school and supported me during that whole time. I hate to admit she did something positive for me, but it’s true. I really hate to admit that maybe because of that, the decades of misery may have been worth it. LOL
I was pondering yesterday about that very question. I came to the conclusion that I would have ended up retired by now. But there is also a chance I would have ended up dead in Thailand. Dead Farang style, lol. I get what you mean JB. Going over If/Only’s is a waste of energy.
Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
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Guys are married but are in sexless marriages for years. Many become very grateful the wif doesnt want sex, too.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
I hate to admit she did something positive for me, but it’s true. I really hate to admit that maybe because of that, the decades of misery may have been worth it. LOL
She did not do anything positive for you.
It was an investment for her.
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