Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Reality is much better than Illusion.
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Hermit 12 months ago.
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5 years ago everything in my life was revealed to me as an illusion. Wife moved out and served me papers. Her reason was she never loved me. Ya okay.
Years of marriage and building a family gone in a half hour conversation. The deal she gave me was good, so I didn’t fight it. I signed the papers and we were officially divorced by April.I don’t need to go into detail the loss I felt. Most here understand the heartache and the rage. In reality, it was the best thing she could have done for me. She put me out of my misery. Time gives a man perspective, she actually set me free. No more illusions, now I can realize I wasn’t the problem.
In the illusion, I was always thinking if I do this then she will be happy. Years of this living. Hoop after hoop after hoop. Constantly having to improve my behavior to make her happy, so my life would be tolerable. I walked on eggshells in my own home FOR YEARS. To the public she was a sweet Christian woman. Reality was she never once prayed for me.
Reality was she got her kids from me, got her degree from me, got thousands from my account. Reality was she most definitely never loved me, ever.
Reality can be a lot to handle. I am alone. There is nobody to back me up. I am a couple of major events away from being homeless. We all are. In the past, this reality would push me to seek comfort and security from a woman. But that was the past illusion, now being monk for well over a year, I have learned that I am very capable of handling life on my own. Years of living paycheck to paycheck, now I have plenty in the savings. Strange how that worked out.
The more time goes by without physical contact of females, the more NFG I acquire. I look at the reality instead of the illusion now. The approval of women is no longer needed or wanted. One thing that has change recently is that women don’t bother me as much now. The dumb s~~~ they do now is just a bug on the windshield. Before, it would take me a half a day to recover from something a woman said/did to p~~~ me off. Now, I just laugh or I don’t even hear them.
It’s just about a daily occurrence where I get reminded on how great my life is now. I am truly free. I’m free from the bondage of a lousy wife. I’m free from having to make excuses for someone else’s behavior. I’m free from making excuses for my OWN behavior. If my life is not what I want it to be, I have nobody to blame but myself. I come home to peace and the love of my dog. Fellas, there is great joy in those very simple ideals. Embrace the solitude don’t fight against it. Those of us who are free in this manner should rejoice! The illusion still tempts me on a regular basis, but the longer I resist the easier it is to live in REALITY! I get reality checks from this website and for that I am grateful, much respect for those who contribute to the forum. Reality can be a shock sometimes, but at least we are not living in an illusion.
Spleefer
Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
You almost described my past situation word for word. The greatest difference is, I am never tempted by the illusion. I think that is because my marriage was over long before the actual divorce and so I had to wait for my freedom and it was a long torturous wait.
I didn’t feel any loss when the divorce was final. I hated that woman for years while being married to her. The transition from love to hate was slow so there was no shock. She kicked me out of the house before I was financially ready to start over so it was a struggle, but I still felt that she did me a favor because it was finally almost over.
Yes, years of trying to please her. Years of changing for her. Years of actually believing that every bad thing in our marriage was always all my fault. Years of jumping through those hoops you mentioned for an unappreciative selfish c~~~ who never did s~~~ for me.
Seeking the approval from any woman is definitely an illusion. F~~~ them all, the no good bitches. Once I finally figured out what women really are, that was the end of their control over me. I figured them out so like you said, the stupid s~~~ they do is mostly water off a ducks back because I don’t give a f~~~ anymore. I have to work with them sometimes at my job, but I don’t have to talk to them about anything other than work.
We had a new woman start recently in another department. Of course she’s nice and tries to say good morning and of course everyone else puts on the fake smile and greets her back. I quickly taught her who I was right off the bat. She tried that good morning s~~~ with me and the most I ever gave her was maybe the occasional grunt. She doesn’t bother me anymore. She doesn’t try to speak to me anymore and that’s the way I like it. She more than likely thinks that I’m just such a horrible person but I DON’T GIVE A F~~~, because life is easier without the bulls~~~ of women, the emotions of women, the absence of logic with women, the childish games of women…………the illusions of women………….
Yes, we’re free now and we should rejoice! ……..and I do rejoice almost every day. In fact, every time I walk through that door and enter into my peaceful solitude I rejoice. I do not take my freedom for granted. I fully appreciate every single day of my freedom and have done so for the last, almost 7 years now. Come March, the 12th I think, will be the 7th year of my freedom from that horrible woman and that horrible marriage and I will still be just as happy as I was on that very day of the divorce. It was one of the most happiest days of my entire life.
I cherish the reality and I’m so thankful that I no longer try to live in that illusion.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
You just can’t handle a real woman! 🙂
You know, I heard it from each of my ex gfs I had a conversation with.”By the time we have had got married I didn’t love him already” – they said it like if they were factory-made. And I was thinking to myself, “That’s really cool we didn’t get married when I was younger”. The Lord made them passed me by.Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
Same as me, in an instant the life I knew was gone. I remember laying in bed at my parents house, wide awake at 3am feeling sick thinking about her with her new man. It was like that for months, I felt sick and stressed 24/7 it was so bad I seriously thought about doing something stupid.
Like you I was constantly walking on eggshells trying to keep her happy, trying to live the married, 2.4 Children, mortgage, career life we are all led to believe is what everyone needs to be happy.
5 years on I realise she put me out of my misery, I am much happier now than I could have ever been when I was married. We always used to argue about money, I wanted to save it, she wanted to blow it. Now I have my own house, no debt and a years salary in the bank which nobody can take away from me. If I was with her I would be living paycheque to paycheque constantly arguing with her why she couldn’t have a new car while she sat at home doing f~~~ all all day.
She is now 42, hitting the wall and found herself a new wallet. I look at him and he is doing all the same s~~~ I did to try and make her happy. Like me he will fail and she will also divorce him in a few years.
Life is good now, much better than the illusion of married life I had to portray. I laugh when I look back and think about how I contemplated ending it all over a piece of 6/10 pussy.
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
We always used to argue about money, I wanted to save it, she wanted to blow it. Now I have my own house, no debt and a years salary in the bank which nobody can take away from me. If I was with her I would be living paycheque to paycheque constantly arguing with her why she couldn’t have a new car while she sat at home doing f~~~ all all day.
Women and money………. When I was married, I would sometimes come home to an empty house and find electric heaters left on in the basement running up the electric bill. When I confronted her about this waste of money, her response was, “If you can afford to buy beer, you can afford to pay for some heat around here.” How idiotic is that? She had no job. I worked and paid for everything. So because I make all the money and want to drink a beer, this is justification for her to leave electric heaters running constantly and waste MY money?
This was always her money argument…….I had to give up something so she could waste my money……..”sell your motorcycle…..sell your guns……stop buying beer……..” Well guess what……I still have a motorcycle, I still drink beer, I still have guns and have bought more and spend a ton of money on ammunition, plus I have a brand new house payment I never had before……….and I have more money in the bank now than I ever had when I was married. She was partially right, I had to give up something to have more money and that something was her.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Hermit, where you digged up that piece of work from? 😀
Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
This was always her money argument…….I had to give up something so she could waste my money……..”sell your motorcycle…..sell your guns……stop buying beer……..” Well guess what……I still have a motorcycle, I still drink beer, I still have guns and have bought more and spend a ton of money on ammunition, plus I have a brand new house payment I never had before……….and I have more money in the bank now than I ever had when I was married. She was partially right, I had to give up something to have more money and that something was her.
This it the reality of marriage, no matter how much money you earn your wife will only be happy if she is spending every penny and you are living paycheque to paycheque. All of this and you still get no access to the pussy and she keeps going on about how unhappy she is.
I was the only one working while my wife sat at home for six years looking after our two children. Even when they were at school full time she didn’t work, infact she was free from 9:00AM until 3:15PM every single day while I was at the plantation. You would think it would not be too much to ask to come home to a clean house and maybe the occasional cooked dinner?
Nope, had to cook my own dinner every night and spend all weekend cleaning the house, gardening, paying the bills, food shopping and looking after the cars.
By being careful I had managed to save £10k, not much but this was my safety net to buy me a few months to get a new job if I lost mine. One day she found this money and any normal wife would be happy that there was a small cushion financially if things got bad?
Nope, she went absolutely f~~~ing mental screaming at me that I had “made her live like a pauper while we had all that money in the bank”. We split soon after, but if it was up to her she would have spent it on a holiday without thinking twice.
Trust me, the easier you make their lives the unhappier they are and the only cure for that is to get back on the carousel….
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
Spleefer, same s~~~ happened to me, after 14 years (no kids), one day i got the, you are a nice guy, you treated me well, but i never loved you, she got money, a degree a visa, all out of my ribs.
But im ok now, in fact couldnt be better… Not true i could be better. The bitch is gone, all my money is mine, no more walking on egg shells, no more living like a slave, IM FREE, the ilusion is gone and not only that, now i can see the truth, i wont fall for the same trick again.
Welcome to my way, mgtow, freedom, the land where the sun always shine.
But not only that, this was a wake up call to learn about siciety, govberment, taxes, honor and duty bulls~~~, i learned and im trying to acchieve total freedom.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Ultimately, women don’t love, because love isn’t real. Women are driven by unconscious evolutionary programming to seek out males for resources. They are following their genetic programming to procreate.
Having complicated brains, we like to complicate explanations for simple evolutionary drives with sugar-coating and terms like “romantic love”.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Hermit, where you digged up that piece of work from?
They’re all the same, just on different levels, with some variations.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Hermit, where you digged up that piece of work from?
They’re all the same, just on different levels, with some variations.
Yup, once the carousel ride comes to an end they are all trying to sell their pussy to the highest bidder.
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
Nope, had to cook my own dinner every night and spend all weekend cleaning the house, gardening, paying the bills, food shopping and looking after the cars.
By being careful I had managed to save £10k, not much but this was my safety net to buy me a few months to get a new job if I lost mine. One day she found this money and any normal wife would be happy that there was a small cushion financially if things got bad?
Nope, she went absolutely f~~~ing mental screaming at me that I had “made her live like a pauper while we had all that money in the bank”.Man, these posts are so similar to my s~~~ty marriage. I paid all the bills. I did all the food shopping. I did all the cooking. I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and put them away after they were clean. I cleaned the part of the house that I lived in. I did my own laundry. You’d think a woman would appreciate having a man like that…..?????……. F~~~ NO. It’s never enough for these dumb c~~~s. They are incapable of contentment and happiness.
I had to hide my wallet because I caught the c~~~ counting the cash in it, TWICE. Even after I told her to stop, the c~~~ was doing it again. What the f~~~ is wrong with their brains? After that s~~~, I locked my wallet in my car and she never saw it again.
Damn it’s so nice that all that stupid s~~~ is behind me now. I can actually leave my wallet on my dresser without having to worry about some stupid bitch digging through it.
Life is so great now living alone, being happy, without a woman.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Man, these posts are so similar to my s~~~ty marriage. I paid all the bills. I did all the food shopping. I did all the cooking. I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and put them away after they were clean. I cleaned the part of the house that I lived in. I did my own laundry. You’d think a woman would appreciate having a man like that…..?????……. F~~~ NO. It’s never enough for these dumb c~~~s. They are incapable of contentment and happiness.
All marriages are the same, all women want to be with an Alpha, but unfortunately by getting married you have effectively proved you are a Beta. You will do everything you can to try and keep her happy but the more you do for her the less she will respect you for it.
They crave drama and excitement, a boring and easy life in the burbs is the last thing they want. They are bought up to believe they can have it all and deserve to be happy so if they are not it is clearly all your fault.
What they crave deep down is an Alpha who will treat them like s~~~ so they give you the “I am not happy” speech and plan their new exciting grass is greener carousel life.
Better five minutes with an Alpha than a lifetime with a Beta.
For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.
Man, these posts are so similar to my s~~~ty marriage. I paid all the bills. I did all the food shopping. I did all the cooking. I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and put them away after they were clean. I cleaned the part of the house that I lived in. I did my own laundry. You’d think a woman would appreciate having a man like that…..?????……. F~~~ NO.
Same marriage, different Judy. Made breakfast and lunch for the kids in the morning before school. Made dinner when I got home. Homework, showers, clothes for the next day, run dishwasher, put dishes away. Hang out with the kids for an hour or so before it was time for them to go to bed. Repeat. And the funny thing is, I was totally fine doing it. It’s not really “hard” labor and it was for my family. What was “hard” about it was having someone bitch about the way you do it, that the towels weren’t folded the right way or some stupid bulls~~~. A six figure salary, makes meals for the kids, does homework with them, plays with them, cleans up inside and outside the house. That’s supposed to be the perfect guy, right? Nope.
So yeah, f~~~ it. It’s like the frog in the boiling pot of water. At least 4 guys in this thread with the exact same story.
And women wonder where the good men are….
Order the good wine
Gosh, Hermit. That’s ridiculous. 90% of my exes aren’t AWALT as compared to your former wife. I may give you the contacts of women who at least have a good job. In case you will make the decision to drop everything one day and swallow a blue pill, at least those blue pills won’t be an imitation.
Yeah, I know, it’s against the common sense, but I’m shocked by your story. Honestly.Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
that the towels weren’t folded the right way or some stupid bulls~~~
Ha! My the last ex constantly pointed out to a drop of tea that fell down from the teapot spout every time I got it back in place. Once she said, Probably I wouldn’t be paying attention to it if I loved you. 🙂
Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)
The similarities show that AWALT is only too real.
What they crave deep down is an Alpha who will treat them like s~~~
Isn’t that the crazy f~~~in’ truth? They really do want the guys who treat them like s~~~. Years ago, I took my car to the best mechanic I’ve ever known. This old man said, “Why is your mirror busted…???….had somethin’ to do with a woman, didn’t it?” He was of course right and I told him so. The next thing he said, “Here’s what you want to do with a woman when you first get her……..you treat her mean, you treat her real mean……….” He was not only a brilliant mechanic, who also knew about women.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Gosh, Hermit. That’s ridiculous. I’m shocked by your story. Honestly.
I don’t know why you’d be shocked with 3 other guys here posting the same story, and I’m positive there are many more men out there with the same story.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
At least 4 guys in this thread with the exact same story.
And women wonder where the good men are….That’s what’s so f~~~ed up about women. They tell you what they want in a good man and even when they get one, they hate him and go out f~~~ing assholes who treat them like the whores they are.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
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