Q to older MGTOW: having a kid (Yes or No) ?

[FeralParticipant 98]

There is this guy I know very well who wishes to stay anonymous.

Background:

The guy:
the guy is late 40s and very, very experienced with women, red pill, never married, childless.
MGTOW but not monk: he dates a lot and, when he finds great girls, he has girlfriends that can last up to a few years (until they begin to ask for marriage).
He is not under “in love” chemicals.

The young woman:
His current gf is 21 years younger. Now she is just after mid-twenties. She is not religious at all but she still wanted to stay virgin until marriage.

The complication:
Normally, he would respect that and move on, but he did an exception because she is an exceptionally good fit with what he likes in a woman (he knows that a NAWALT is as safe as a domesticated tiger, and that she is very likely to change in the future).
They have been bf and gf for more than 3 years.

About 3 months ago, the guy felt guilty because he knows that she wants to marry and have kids and that he does not want to marry.
He likes to treat people as they deserve: bad people badly and good people well. So he started a conversation about her future and is summarized below:

He: “Your best chance to marry and have kids is to look around starting now that you are young: I will never risk my finances. I would gladly stay together if there was a way to stay financially protected, but there isn’t”.

She: “I want to be with you: have a better look at legal protections”.

He: [time later] “After having formally asked several lawyers and a financial adviser, their conclusion is that good asset-protection is not possible in case of marriage.”

She: “I want to be with you and I trust that you will be always happy with me and we will be always together: I give up on marriage but my life only makes sense having at least one child. Would you like to have a kid in a few years?”.

FAQ:
The girl despises collectivists and is against state transfers: she is not after single-mom support from the state, nor child support from the guy: she has got a great job, her own money, she owns her home, etc.
The girl understands that being together is not love as depicted in the movies: a couple is daily, repetitive dedication and effort.
Her motivation is: “better the devil I know” rather than some new guy who will still end up having a similar amount of defects. Plus she wants to keep her love partners to a minimum (one).
[If you have got questions before sharing your experience, feel free to ask]

[Psl47Participant 678]

I know couple , not married and still haveing a kid …
And living together ….
Because they want to …..
So its not about getting documents signed….
You see what i mean ?

If she really wants … she will make a sacrifice

And again … if they will get a kid …and she leaves … she might ask for alamony
If they get married …. – complete destruction ….

.

[Anonymous 3]

I see nothing but red flags. How is this even a question? Hell to the f~~~ing no, it’s a no brainer.

Come on, seriously?

[Anonymous 25]

Well if her sole aim is to be with him, why does she need a marriage contract to do that. She could just be with him.

If things turn bad in the relationship she will go to a lawyer and wimminz aid and will be encouraged to accuse him of DV to get everything and take all his money. Doesn’t matter if the woman is like that, the system is like that and the system will get all women to behave like that.

No to marriage. Women made marriage a raw deal for men, they have to live with the consequences.

[Anonymous 6]

Sounds like nothing but trouble, he needs to bail ASAP.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Well, in order to answer the question, here is what you need to do. Imagine you have the kid with her and then the relationship ends. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Well:

She could take you to court for child support. Since you are aren’t paying alimony, the child support will be more.

She could take the kid and move away. Are you ok with not seeing the child all the time, or even living in the same time zone?

She could lie to the police and say that you abused her. You could end up arrested and lose your job. Your reputation could be destroyed. And you would never see your child again.

Just think of the worst things that she COULD do to you. And then double it because there will be things you haven’t thought of.

If you can look at that risk and say that the reward out-ways it, then have at it.

Order the good wine

[Silver FoxParticipant 2766]

Having babies/young children when you are in your mid-twenties is tiring enough. I could not imagine it in my late forties. And that’s assuming that the children you father are normal, healthy kids with no special issues or needs. And then you need to consider how old you are going to be when your kids finally become legal adults.

Personal opinion: if you’re going to father children, do it young, or avoid it altogether.

Of course you love your kids. But it’s still an exhausting journey at times. Consider how much stamina you have at various ages in life.

"Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." --Apostle Paul

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

Here you go:

Monk

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Are you kidding? No, no way…there are quicker ways to kill yourself.

[Anonymous 42]

F~~~. NO!

[FeralParticipant 98]

Now I see that the original question was too long and not clear enough: sorry guys.
There is no marriage involved.

TaxGuy intepreted it correctly.
It is a risk/reward analysis.
I think that he has identified all the main downside risks.
And, as he said, the rewards depend on how much the guy wants to have a child.

Silver Fox pointed out also the important stamina risk for an older man. That could be partially offset by an older man having more financial resources to get a nanny.

2017 reminded that costs of raising a son/daughter could be higher than one expects.

Additional info:
If surrogacy / cloning were legal and a man could be alone on the birth certificate, he would have had a child some years ago.

Thanks also to the others for their contributions.

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

Feral wrote:

Now I see that the original questions was too long and not clear enough.

TaxGuy intepreted it correctly.
It is a case of no-marriage and a risk/reward analysis.

I think that he has identified all the main downside risks.
And, as he said, the rewards depend on how much the guy wants to have a child.

I fail to see the “rewards” here.

Monk

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

What is she after?

The best provider possible for HER child!

Sounds like he is the best she has found. Lucky her.

Men, we are the gatekeeper of the plantation.

Nothing good happens to us on the plantation.

If he decides to marry her then he better take my father’s advice. “Keep her pregnant and barefoot”

As my father pointed out about success with a woman. “a man has only one chance. Keep her so busy that she doesn’t have time to think. If a man goes to the plantation he better be prepared to have 10 children atleast.” “That my son is why in the olden days there wasn’t any divorce.” “Back then it was equal for both because they were both miserable and stayed that way”

Peace brothers

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Meister wrote:

I fail to see the “rewards” here.

Correct! Because there are none and all we see are the risks for the guy. Run!

[El SidParticipant 265]

Feral wrote:

The young woman:
His current gf is 21 years younger. Now she is just after mid-twenties. She is not religious at all but she still wanted to stay virgin until marriage.

The complication:
Normally, he would respect that and move on, but he did an exception because she is an exceptionally good fit with what he likes in a woman (he knows that a NAWALT is as safe as a domesticated tiger, and that she is very likely to change in the future).
They have been bf and gf for more than 3 years.

Are you saying this friend hasn’t banged her in the 3 years they’ve been together? Seems very blue pill to me.

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

El Sid wrote:

Feral wrote:

The young woman:
His current gf is 21 years younger. Now she is just after mid-twenties. She is not religious at all but she still wanted to stay virgin until marriage.

The complication:
Normally, he would respect that and move on, but he did an exception because she is an exceptionally good fit with what he likes in a woman (he knows that a NAWALT is as safe as a domesticated tiger, and that she is very likely to change in the future).
They have been bf and gf for more than 3 years.

Are you saying this friend hasn’t banged her in the 3 years they’ve been together? Seems very blue pill to me.

We haven’t even bothered going into all the inconsistencies in this story.

Virgin in her late 20s
No sex until marriage
Together for 3 years

Sounds to me like it’s time for a hymen check and I think we all know what the result of that will be …

Princess is riding the c~~~ carousel and has her old rich beta provider on the backburner.
The wall is approaching fast – time to tie the knot.

Monk

[FeralParticipant 98]

The guy banged a lot before this gf. Banging has always been at easy reach for the guy.

After the first year he did it with this gf, too (he had all the fun he wanted also during the first year).

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

Feral wrote:

The guy banged a lot before this gf. Banging has always been at easy reach for the guy.

After the first year he did it with this gf, too (he had all the fun he wanted also during the first year).

Why did you write that she wants to stay virgin until marriage then?

Monk

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Feral wrote:

The girl despises collectivists and is against state transfers: she is not after single-mom support from the state, nor child support from the guy: she has got a great job, her own money, she owns her home, etc.
The girl understands that being together is not love as depicted in the movies: a couple is daily, repetitive dedication and effort.

All of this reverses polarity once “My baaaaaaabbyyyyyy” arrives.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Psl47Participant 678]

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