Operation: Take Down Crazy Cat Lady

[Anonymous 11]

I wrote last week about my neighborhood crazy cat lady. This is a serious thread by the way.

I took my inherited indoor only cat to the vet for her viral illness and mentioned to him about a woman who keeps a cat colony of at least 28 known cats under her home’s crawl space. He was not pleased. The first words out of his mouth were “Stupid women” and “That’s why the songbird population is being decimated”.

These f~~~ing cats have infested my neighborhood. I called animal control. They told me if I could give them her address then they would deal with the problem. Many of the Toms look like they have feline leukemia.

I have to find were she lives. I know she can only live in one of 6 houses in the low area of my neighborhood.

How does one make a house with a cat infested crawl space? I have a mountain bike and a circular path past these homes. I plan on doing some mountain bike recon.

[Anonymous 24]

I am a semi-retired Ninja, if I lived near you I would offer my services pro-bono.

[Anonymous 11]

They come to my house and p~~~ on my convertible. I could make a bait station coated with a UV fluorescent chemical to coat their fur. I then ride past and illuminate these houses with a UV LED flashlight at night maybe I could quickly get lucky. Cats love to rub on things. UV marker doped cat nip???

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

Just poison those f~~~ers, the cats I mean.

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

I wonder how easy it is to attract coyotes to a neighborhood. Like I said in the previous thread on this, they’d take care of that problem for you.

[Anonymous 3]

A bit expensive, but a solution:GPS locator

Or you can do “dumpster diving” and locate the empty cat food cans…

[Anonymous 24]

Get a rabid hungry feral dog from a kennel and release him near the suspected house at night.

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

Do you have any cooking skills and a hunting riffle? because if you do then you should be making yourself some cat stew while your at it.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[Anonymous 11]

I’ve got to be surgical to protect the innocent. Ethylene Glycol bowls in the wooded area near these houses would work really, really well though.

@sidecar: They’re here. I had a canid grab one of my hens last night. It literally brute forced its way into the coop and was taller than a Fox by looking at the penetration. My feeder wire had gotten disconnected from the perimeter electric fence so no protection.

[AnthonyParticipant 2281]

Feral cats are a f~~~ing nuisance. I’ve never had to deal with any myself, but if feral cats were running around at my home, I’d be lacing mouse traps or something with catnip.

Once you have a Fleshlight real vaginas become worthless.

[HitmanParticipant]

Do it !
Or the cat hunters might kill them!
Sorry to joke about it. .that sucks to have nearby. .
Good luck with recon..

[BoarParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Get a rabid hungry feral dog from a kennel and release him near the suspected house at night.

Import some coyotes? The hens may not like it, but no one will complain when the coyotes are eradicated.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[Anonymous 11]

I’ve got this LED flashlight(Surefire E1L) that is an excellent thrower. It’s so dim on low that it’s hardly noticeable and has a well focused beam. The bastards’ eyes glow so I could probe between these houses at night when they are especially active.

The only problem is that I need to make the runs running dark and the new police chief has units everywhere these days so my ticket risk is increased.

Animal control is a part of the police, and they will pounce once I give them some solid information. I’ve confirmed it with some others who had crazy cat neighbors. It has to be some sort of obsessive compulsive thing. These cats are killing birds, lizards, and spreading disease to normal people’s pet cats.

I’ll make the first bike run with lights on and then go black once I know LEO is not lurking around here.

[Anonymous 42]

Hey C-Pig, whoever clued you in about the neighborhood cat tribe living under a crawl space, can you causally get the location?

Another inexpensive form of recon are game cameras well hidden that will identify the rascals whatever they are, I see animals in my CCTV system all the time, it does show what direction they came from…

[Anonymous 24]

Boar wrote:

JoeBauers wrote:

Get a rabid hungry feral dog from a kennel and release him near the suspected house at night.

Import some coyotes? The hens may not like it, but no one will complain when the coyotes are eradicated.

Yea, kinda what Sidecar was saying. If it could be done, it would clear the problem right up for sure.

I bet just finding which house it was and calling animal control may do the trick…

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve got to be surgical to protect the innocent. Ethylene Glycol bowls in the wooded area near these houses would work really, really well though.

Yeah, poisons are too indiscriminate and can insinuate themselves into the environment in unpleasant ways.

Live traps would let you separate the guilty from the innocent, but are difficult to set out discreetly.

Of course the real problem with crazy cat ladies is that for every cat you eliminate, she’ll only get two more. That s~~~ needs to be nipped off at the source. Siccing animal control on her is probably your best long term solution.

They’re here. I had a canid grab one of my hens last night. It literally brute forced its way into the coop and was taller than a Fox by looking at the penetration. My feeder wire had gotten disconnected from the perimeter electric fence so no protection.

Interesting. I wonder how the cat colony has managed to survive. Probably because there’s easier pickings elsewhere in the neighborhood. I suspect a lot of your neighbors leave out food, which the coyotes take advantage of.

You might consider canvassing your neighborhood warning your neighbors about the “dangerous coyotes” lurking in the neighborhood biding their time (which is also a good excuse to go looking for the cat colony). Advise them to bring their pets in at night, lock down their trash bins, and stop leaving food out. The neighborhood cat lady will, of course, ignore such advice. If enough of the other available sources of food are removed the coyotes should start to get hungry for cat.

Just uparmor the f~~~ out of your own coops before doing so.

It might also be possible to get canid pheremones, too. Discretely spray them all over the cat colony location. When the male coyotes show up looking for a bitch in heat, they might settle for eating some pussy while they wait.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Have you seen/met all your neighbors?

You can probably go with the stereotype on this one. She’s >40, single woman, probably w/a democratic or wiccan bumper sticker on her car.

God forbid you have more than 1 neighbor like this!?

[STORMParticipant 738]

Just think if you were rich and could purchase some really tall metal made fences around your entire property. Good luck on the recon, do whatever you have to, to find out what house they are coming from, and get animal control over there, if they don’t do anything, file a police report, and if they also don’t take care of the problem, eh hem 😡 some reallllly tasty “food” might need to be dispatched in the wooded areas. Best of luck.

If we listen to a female at all, It's no longer to find out if they're crazy, we know they're crazy, It's to find out what flavor.

[Anonymous 11]

@sidecar: I’m bringing remaining hen inside the house in a carrier for the night. I’ll have my game cam deployed watching the coup. I know foxes will come back for seconds. I’m pretty sure a Coy Wolf would too. They are not super numerous though here. A friend saw a dead one about a mile from here. I’d imagine those cats are possibly safer under that house. If so, they should stay close to it.

@matt: Bingo!

This marsh is chock full of predators, and it’s a highway with a network of hard ground game trails everywhere. They say like 170,000+ acres of it just in my county. I live just off a finger of it. I’ve heard of people seeing Bobcats and Cougars in the higher parts of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Hey C-Pig, whoever clued you in about the neighborhood cat tribe living under a crawl space, can you causally get the location?

Great idea. A late afternoon bike ride I should see him. I also can get plugged into The Hive too.

[Anonymous 42]

sidecar wrote:

It might also be possible to get canid pheremones, too. Discretely spray them all over the cat colony location. When the male coyotes show up looking for a bitch in heat, they might settle for eating some pussy while they wait.

In my army Side Car would be a 5 star general!

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