Not doing well guys

[Billy&The CloneasaurusParticipant]

I’m having one of the worst weeks of my life guys. I hope things get better for me. I don’t mean to throw a pity party…a lot of this I brought on myself. I could use a few words of encouragement.

I have assault charges pending from the ex. I’m not allowed to contact my kids, and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never been in trouble with the law before, and it looks like I’m going to get a criminal record now.

I was thinking very dark thoughts earlier tonight guys. I’m hanging in there for my kids and my parents. Any thoughts or prayers from you guys are appreciated. F~~~.

The answer, is no.

[Anonymous 3]

I can only say you’re not alone, and you’ve got people on here that have your back and you can talk to.

[Anonymous 14]

Kinda gotta just tough it out like a sailor being lost at sea in a storm. What you need to know is it will pass, may take some time, but it will pass. Just hang in there and keep lining yourself up for better days, even if some worse ones are coming down the road in between. Always be thinking of the moment when your feet will touch land again.

[Anonymous 5]

It’s ok to have dark thoughts, you can’t run from them. But, don’t act on them.

All I can tell you is pray, and exercise your mind. If you can’t do it for you, at least, do it for the kids.

And damn your ex.

[Sky-OParticipant 18936]

Your situation right now is the fire that is going to forge the steel that is your soul.

Embrace the struggle. Trust it and stick around to be in awe and amazed at the man you have become when you get through this.

During times like this, their lies, manipulations and evil do not destroy us:

They are the catalyst that make us stronger.

Don’t let her break you.

Your kids need you and you need to be around to witness your own evolution and ability to push forward against all odds.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

You will make it through this. Remember all of us are behind you and are willing to talk if you need it.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[Anonymous 6]

It’ll work out brother. One thing that i know is that God sits high and he looks low. He’ll fix the situation faster than you may think. He works on his time. Give him the glory and praise because you know and believe that He will work it out.

Prayers are already going up for ya. Don’t worry. Just Pray. If you got time to worry, you got time to Pray.

[joetechParticipant]

I recommend a good criminal defense attorney. Keep your spirits up and fight the good fight. You’re a good man.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 18]

Regardless of how grave you make your situation to be there are many men who have struggled with worse. And continue to struggle.

Many are here among you.

The feelings of despair will come and go. Let them. You don’t have to act on them and cause self-harm.

Worst case scenario – you get a criminal record. Really s~~~ty f~~~ed up thing to live with. But something you can live with.

Take a step back – it’s almost never as bad as it first seems.

Even if you did something stupid and regret it – you still are alive. Do not let fear of social stigma or loss of future employment prospects ruin your chance to have a life that you still have control of.

Its definitely f~~~ed up. No need to sugar coat this.

Take it one day at a time. Things get better and a rational mind acts once all or most of variables are known.

Don’t do anything stupid.

[bladeParticipant]

I remember years ago a childrens lawyer telling me think yourself lucky if you see your kids again . Now one is back after been badly abused and got one to go . My step kids which were turned on me now love me which i love them like my own . GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS .

Things can change beyond your belief . Never give up hope bro i have been in that dark place .

EVERY DAY THE SUN COMES UP IS A NEW DAY .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Billy, it is a low point in your life. I have been there in an identical situation. It seems overwhelming but the only way is up now. If you can reach out to your family of origin and get as much social support as possible. The legal stuff can still work out OK if you are worth more to the Ex as a free man (able to pay child support). In my case, I ended up with a DV order that I respected, and it kicked the settlement process along. Sick of being cucked. Oh I was fined $300 but not convicted…

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[IRuleMeParticipant]

You can choose to let what happened define you, or you can learn from what happened and leave it in the past and move forward. It sucks, it’s tough, but remember. It’s not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. You learn from life experiences. They can either build your character, or destroy your resolve. If you let them destroy your resolve, then they’ve already won.

[AttonParticipant]

Fight and never stop fighting don’t allow this to crush you.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[StealthParticipant 5339]

Your surroundings might be scary for a short time, but wherever life takes you, just remember even worst case scenario no one can harm your soul. Also your mental state is largely up to you, so try to smile. Enjoy the scenery as it will give you stories to tell further down the road.

Live in the moment; feel the air in your lungs, etc. and you may find you don’t need to be stressed as it looks.

“Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

I was there, don’t do anything stupid. I was where you are right now, it gets better. I know you don’t believe it but it will.

Get a vasectomy.

[NomadicExpatParticipant 1785]

This forum just helped me get out of a funk, time for some instant karma.

Billy&theCloneasaurus, I’ve been living in that dark place for some time now. I’ve had the ideations your likely having… f~~~ it, suicidal ideations. Let’s just call a spade a spade here. As MathematicalxGod said, it’s okay to have dark thoughts, just don’t act on them.

The good news is that your NOT suicidal. Your merely having suicidal ideations. While most people won’t talk about it or admit it, nearly everyone has them at some point in their lives. Having a bitch of an ex sicking law enforcement on you would certainly drive anyone to at least imagine ALL options on the table.

At least, thats how I felt when I was at my wits end. My ex had the sherriff serve me papers unannounced, then tried to throw me in jail. It didn’t work and I have a clean record. If I would have killed myself (seriously thought about it) it would have been for nothing. What I can tell you for sure is the uncertainty is worse than anything else. I vividly remember thinking “if your going to throw me in jail, f~~~ing do it. If not, then drop it. Just STOP threatening it, then having a court date months away to hang it over my head.” God F~~~ING damnit that was the worst. Bitches know that too, I was more terrified of legal ramifications than anything else in my entire life.

So here are some coping strategies that helped me get through the worst of it. I’m not a counselor, this is probably really s~~~ty advice, but this personally worked for me, not that long ago. Hopefully it could be of some use.

Coping Strategies:

If your down in the dumps, seriously stressed and think your life will be forever ruined with a permanent record:
Binge watch “Trailer Park Boys”. First off, it’s f~~~ing hillarious. Second off, the show is about some of the dumbest losers who have absolutely nothing going for them, sometimes homeless, other times living in a shed with cats. Many times serving time in prison. (usually how a season ends 🙂
But here’s the catch: They are eternally upbeat, happy-go-lucky, always looking at the silver lining and how things will get better. Even at their absolute worst, they are actually living amazing lives that are more enjoyable than most. They live moment to moment and truly get into some of the most hillarious scenarios because… they just don’t give a f~~~. There’s a certain power in being at the VERY bottom. A certain liberation. When you really can’t get any lower… Then f~~~ it. Lets go smoke a joint and have some fun! Ricky, Julian and Bubbles always get me going, especially when I’m worried about crashing my life status into the dirt. It let’s you look at rock-f~~~ing-bottom and see that it’s really not that bad.

If your having suicidal ideations because of stress: Stop for a moment and REALLY consider the worst case scenario. I mean WORST. Is it really that bad? I did this when I was looking at potential jail time. I wouldn’t even consider it. When my mind would start to contemplate being sentenced to jail, my immediate response was “F~~~ No, that’s not me, I’m not going down like that.” I would imagine the sherriff slapping cuffs on me, and I would always think to myself I’d eat a bullet before I let that happen. But once I really, REALLY thought about what it would be like… Oh, F~~~ING well. I ride in a car to a place that will not be as bad as boot camp or third world s~~~holes I’ve experienced worse already. Then I think about all the wimps I’ve seen on the “Locked up” TV shows that were surviving jail just fine. Then I realized, I could finally have the time to write that novel I’ve been putting off. I also realized that for that time, I would have ZERO responsibilities. None. I would be able to just be beligerant as F~~~, not pay bills, not do laundry, not do S~~~. just f~~~ing sit on ass and find simple ways to entertain myself. I love to read and write, and as far as I can tell you can still do that locked up. Then, after I got out, I would just grow a bunch of dope like Ricky and do whatever the f~~~ I want. Because… Why the f~~~ not?

If your Seriously considering suicide:
When I was at my absolute worst and SERIOUSLY considering killing myself, there was always at least something I wanted to do before I died. Smoke a joint. Rub one out to that leaked Emma Watson sex video. Write a REALLY good suicide note. Get 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep on clean sheets after a long shower. Rub one out again. Literally, those little things kept me going. I would postpone it for a day. Then another. Then another. I would also play mental tricks on myself; I would tell myself I’ll do it tomorrow, for sure. As soon as my frantic mind would really think I was going to do it 24 hours from now, I would instantly RELAX. Even jail time didn’t stress me in the slightest, because suddenly it was no longer even an option. I would be gone tomorrow, so no reason to even think about it. Since this was my last full day on earth, I was going to enjoy the s~~~ out of it.
What I found was when I was at my worst, I would keep re-doing this as a last ditch strategy. I would just keep resetting my 24 hour suicide pact with myself. I found once my brain stopped stressing so much about the uncertainty, (because in my mind, it wasn’t going to happen or it no longer mattered) that rusty, barbed wire wrapped around my brain and guts just released and I could enjoy the day. Once I enjoyed a day, I no longer wanted to kill myself.

Man… this post is f~~~ed up. Probably shouldn’t try that last strategy unless you’ve already got the hammer back with one in the chamber.

Just remember bro, I was seriously there not long ago, and I already feel 100x better. I was in similar shoes too. It’s a temporary emotional thing. Thats it. Just like Joe Bauers said, just sail through the storm and keep your head down. All you really have to do is nothing. The only thing permanent in life is Impermanence… If your life sucks, wait around a bit. It WILL change. That’s actually the silver lining, it can only get so bad. If your at the bottom, the only place to go is up.

Being at the bottom can be liberating.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Same here bro, been there, not with the legal problems.

But the dark tough, many had them, some acted and survived some other didn’t.

Figth it off bro. It will pass, like all storms.

Hold on anything, rage, hate, anything that keeps you alive.

And if you feel at the end of the rope and wanna end it all, do something really easy PROCRASTINATE, leave it for tomorrow, and for tomorrow after that.

Some of us almost ended up in a dark bag, but we made it some how, AND LIFE NEVER BEEN BETTER.

Like stealthy used to say.

1) focus
2) improve
3) stealth
4) ghost
5) no f~~~s given.

Rinse and repeat.

Good luck, but you don’t need it, becouse even in worst case scenario, you are on your own and everything depends on you, and you are a MEN, next step THE F~~~ING MOON.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I got the impression you handled it very well the other day – your dv situation…. and the cop was on your side too , knowing there’s always another side to the story. You played it cool and it sounded promising.

A little faith in yourself might go a long way here.

Looking back at my darkest hours, I shudder to think of how anxious I made myself – worrying about things before the happen.

I don’t know the intimate details, but perhaps you can also appeal to her “better nature” if that’s possible. It may be an option if she’s being totally unreasonable, perhaps you can work SOMETHING equitable out with her.

Hitman has always offered some good words at times like this.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[bladeParticipant]

Remember there is always someone on here 24/7 .

Keymaster wrote:

shudder to think of how anxious I made myself – worrying about things before the happen.

That is so true . Your worry i presume is about your children . Ok you might be in for a rough ride but never give up . I could never back then imagine where me and my kids are at now never . If i ended my life back then they would of been f~~~ed up even more now .

Never loose hope billy . Trust me bro life goes by in the blink of an eye and in five years from now you will look back and go “f~~~ me” glad i didnt do this or that .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Billy&The CloneasaurusParticipant]

Thanks for all the kind words guys. I’m hanging in there, for now. I’ll keep you all posted as this develops :/. I’m really glad this site exists.

The answer, is no.

[Author]

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