Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Need a reality check, i guess im about ot make a huge mistake
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Vajra Varaha 2 months, 4 weeks ago.
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So long story comming.
Me (29m) and my gf(26f) was together for 5 years, 2 years ago my daughter was bourn and we are living in Europe (Not UK or Sweeden).
Before my daughter we had a huge fight because of she wanted to have join finances, whihc i didnt want to have since i payed about 75% of the bills (i made about 100k a year at the time), and i didnt want to pay for her “s~~~”.
We were about to breakup, but she was pregnant at the time and i really wanted to be in the life of my child fulltime. Her description of why she wanted to have joint finances is because that’s how her parents doing it and since we are about to be a family, then we share everything and if i have all the money then i would have more to say in the relationship.
About my gf…
She have very few dreams, its just getting married, have 2 children and have a house which she was straight up about from the beginning, and i was ok with all of that since i was a blue pill (after i found mgtow i started to question marriage).
Her mothers and father are still married, and same for her grandmother and grandfather and all of them are still happy in the marriage. Family is the most important thing for her, most of her family live in the same city as we do and she loves to visit them alot.
She is great mother but without any future plans, she wants to focus on family. Her parents is a bit too much over our relationship since they are living in the same city as we do. Her family is all socialists and vote for left party, they wish that all must have a good life, but thye dont want to look at the reality.
She tells me quite alot that money doesnt mean anything to her.
Fast forward to current date. Currently my gf is working part time (20% recuded time 30h work week). Two month ago i started my own company which is going very well (if everything will keep going as it is i would easy end up on 200k a year) and i wanted to sure that me an my gf agree that before we get married we sign a prenup since i dont want to get my company destroyed in case of divorce.
That started a huge fight again, she feels that since she is home and taking care of the child and house than she deserve half of what company made while we were together in case of divorce.
She keeps telling me that i have to accept her choice of being family person and she didnt feel that i accept it since i want a prenup.
I said definitly no to that, her compromise was to sign a prenup but also to sign a contract where she basically says that there should not be more than 50% of my year salary in the company at a given time, if there is need for more then it should be negotiated with her and contracts need to be updated.
With that contract she want to be sure that money goes to family, and i dont just let them stand in the company.
I feel like that this contract will be a pressure point of hers at any time she wants to have something.
In reallity it doesnt matter for me if second child will be borne, im fine with only my daughter, but i really dont want to get married because of that freaking contract. I dont care that she will get half of the house, cars or what ever it is, the company is where the value and my security is.
I just need a reality check, am i insane to require a prenup or is she on the way to become feminist?
Ask any aditional questions, i will answer them ASAP!
Anonymous42Don’t buckle, cave, or compromise, she’s only concerned about herself.
If you ask me, the divorce already happened when she wanted any kind of control over YOU.
Plan on getting a divorce, add up all the associated costs, then ask yourself if it’s worth getting married?
Prenups are often nullified during divorce rape proceedings.
You have been blessed with an abundance of red flags concerning this relationship and concerning going forward to marriage.
Heed those warnings.
Do not believe that you are in-too-far now to back out. Things only get worse once you make this a legal arrangement.
This is not a marriage that will last because you are already making all the plans to appease her wishes. She does not share yours.
Do you need to explain how you will portion out the money you earn? When did she ask you how you would like to use the money you make?
She says only how much she can have and would like you to make her portion a legal certainty with signed documents. For money you earn.
This is the deepest red flag you can imagine.
Now, already, the exit is getting farther away.
Stop the marriage and extract yourself from cohabitation.
If you continue you down this path you will end up divorced, with limited access to your child……controlled by her, and paying your money to her as the child’s mother.
Do not get married, extract yourself from the cohabitation arrangement.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Your girlfriend has more red flags than China.
Women are primarily focused on helping themselves. Doesn’t matter how much men focus on helping women; you never truly see women at large worrying about male suffering or male issues.
You are just expected to be a beast of burden or a slave to them, as if it is natural. It’s like it is not even questioned, but then they will go all feminist on you when other issues come up.
Women want more than equal rights, but they don’t want equal responsibility.
The only way to deal with women is on a transactional basis. Romantic love is just something women use to control and manipulate men. Women insist upon commitment as a means to lock-down male resources, but if they actually valued commitment, they would NOT initiate 3/4 of divorces.
Their love, their “commitment”, their loyalty is all bulls~~~. Women are as loyal as their options.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Ask any aditional questions, i will answer them ASAP!
As I am neither a parent nor a lawyer, I would advice that you wait for a response from those MGTOW.com members who are.
There are plenty of divorced members who have children from their previous marriage, they have specific insights and examples that will be of benefit to you.
Regarding the prenuptial agreement, there are several lawyers who can discuss contracts with you at length.
I will however offer the following: The most important thing regarding this issue is that you have time to determine if this path is indeed the best path for you. You are correct that your company and it’s assets are very valuable and will continue to grow. You must continue to invest in the company to ensure it’s growth and also increase you wealth, but having a percentage cut out for non contribution directly to the company is a bad idea.
Have you asked your GF what job/industry she would seek employment in, assuming that she did not stay at home? Child care, baby sitting, etc are easy expenses to determine and use as a reference point if she does want to stay at home.
If she does not, they you have a quantifiable number to use in discussions.
Good Luck.
"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." - Clarence Buddinton Kelland
Dude…first of all I didn’t recognize your name so took a look at your previous posts.
By the looks of it, you’ve been digging your grave for the past 3 years.
ALARM BELLS SHOULD HAVE BEEN RINGING BACK HERE:
Funny fact just 1 week ago me and gf had a conversation, she suggested that when we gonna have kids, she want to be a stay at home mom because i would have great salary.
After gf got pregnat sex dropped off completly and we are arguing constantly.
She is setting herself up for the entitled life she ‘deserves’. Please listen to the men on here and get out now. Marriage is not a good next step for you. It’s not a good step at all.
She tells me quite alot that money doesnt mean anything to her.
she feels that since she is home and taking care of the child and house than she deserve half of what company made while we were together in case of divorce.
Can you see the ‘conflict’ in these two statements?
Judge them by actions not words. They are MASTER MANIPULATORS.
You’re young, successful and wealthy, don’t let this woman destroy your life.
Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUTWhat was originally based on a woman “selling” a man the ability to have his own children and taking his surplus labour as “payment,” has become a woman having children of HER own and still taking a man’s surplus labour as “payment” for that which she is NOT selling. THAT IS FRAUD!
If you go to a car dealership and buy a shiny new car, you might sign on the dotted line and agree to make payments for the next five years, but it is implied in the contract that you own the car.
The dealership cannot decide 6 months later that they want the car back, show up at your house, and just take it. And certainly they cannot force you to make the next 54 payments on it if they take it away from you with no breech of contract on your part. It is your property and they have no right to it. To suggest otherwise would be to suggest you signed a fraudulent contract. To suggest that you would still have to pay for gas, maintenance, and insurance after they sell it to someone else because “it is in the best interests of the car” is to suggest an insanely fraudulent contract.
Yup.
But this is what we are left with in the marriage contract.
The man gets none of the property or rights which the contract was originally based upon, but the “vendor” still has the right to make you into this:
“Hyahhh! Move it, you strong ox!” bellows the ex-wife. “You are divorced now with no legal rights to what you thought you paid for, so start pulling this plow! No more lazing around for you, slave! MY children and I own your labour! You own nothing!”
From:
"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.
Her description of why she wanted to have joint finances is because thats how her parents doing it and since we are about to be a family, then we share everything and if i have all the money then i would have more to say in the relationship.
That doesn’t sit well with …
She tells me quite alot that money doesnt mean anything to her.
And even less with what follows …
… she feels that since she is home and taking care of the child and house than she deserve half of what company made while we were together in case of divorce.
Here is your warning.
She is already planning her exit.
…her compromise was to sign a prenup but also to sign a contract where she basically says that there should not be more than 50% of my year salary in the company at a given time, if there is need for more then it should be negotiated with her and contracts need to be updated.
She really has got it all worked out, hasn’t she?
I dont care that she will get half of the house, cars or what ever it is, the company is where the value and my security is.
You need to start caring. Fast.
If you are married, she will be succesful in taking the whole house. She can claim on the company too. Bear in mind that prenups are worthless in Europe and of questionable value in the US.
I just need a reality check, am i insane to require a prenup or is she on the way to become feminist?!
Wake the f~~~ up – you are on the verge of losing everything.
Do not marry. Do not cohabitate – get her out the house. Get a paternity test for the existing child. Stop the sex – she might ‘accidentally’ get pregnant again.
As she is a obviously after money, and as you are – fortunately – not married, you should be able to negotiate a deal that takes care of the child.
If she won’t sign it with witnesses present and not “under duress” you may as well just walk away from it. Or just save the trouble of marriage and just give her half your s~~~, keep your company and move on. That’s one possible outcome.
Could be interesting, but ask for a paternity test of the kid before you agree to sign anything or marry her. Could be a lying bitch litmus test. Would at least guarantee kid is yours before you walk into suffering. (Not trying to be negative but if you worked long hours and she was always home alone, have heard worse reasons for someone to cheat.)
Hope that someday I may lead others the path I have learned. As Virgil led Dante through Hell.
I think that YOU KNOW that You are pretty much F~~~ed REGARDLESS of what YOU TRY TO DO.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Never, ever, under any circumstances do you sign a contract with a woman. You’ll be the only one held to the agreement.
Walk away. The girl will find you in 18 years.
The woman wants to control you. She sees you as a payday and emergency exit. I changed my mind. Run away.
Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805@timsen read this:
Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUTI just need a reality check, am i insane to require a prenup or is she on the way to become feminist?
1. No.
2. Yes.When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
She is family oriented which means work and earning comes second to her. This doesn’t mean money isn’t on her agenda, it just means she knows she doesn’t have to work to eventually take YOUR money from you legally (marriage).
By focusing on having kids with you and getting you to marry her, prenup or not, she knows this is definitely going to mean she can extort your money from you. She will control you by threatening divorce and if you split, she will threaten you not seeing your kids again if you don’t meet her demands or give her money.
The legal system is 100% behind her taking all your assets and cash, prenups don’t hold up well these days.
"Have you ever thought about any real freedoms? Freedom from the opinions of others...even from the opinions of yourself?"
Her mothers and father are still married, and same for her grandmother and grandfather and all of them are still happy in the marriage.
Get the men in those relationships drunk and it is nearly guaranteed they will tell you they are miserable as hell
Women do not love men. Women only love what men can provide.
you sign that, you marry and in 5 years, she will get the kid, the house, the company and you will be in the street beggin for coins.
Dont do it, your money, you company, your house, your kid, if she dont like it, there is the door.
SHE AINT GETTING S~~~.
She stay at home, work low hours, you have her covered for life, PEOPLE DONT GET THE EASY LIFE LIKE THAT.She is getting a great deal, tell her not to ruin it.
if she doesnt accept the deal, get out, she didnt got pregnant by mistake, she trapped you.
remember this is not about money or trust, is about survival, if she gets you, you are a dead men.
is your choice.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Yes, to echo a few previous replies: have you had a paternity test for your child? The timing of her pregnancy seems very convenient.
Best of luck to you.
To any lurkers reading this: do NOT let yourself end up with a kid with any woman. In fact, by any means possible, avoid all women at all costs. They are more dangerous these days than you can possibly imagine.
Prison. Disease. Death. All these things and unlimited horrors more are a very real possibility if you can’t simply just conjure up the crucial discipline of keeping your dick in your pants. Other than a bit of highly-overrated sex, women have nothing to offer but hell.
Whatever you do, just remember this, YOUR SPERM is like TINY BLANK CHECKS, and women WILL cash them in!
Also, get the kid DNA-tested.
Don’t get married; if it is your kid you are already stuck with child support (which is always assigned to be more than what you actually spend on the kid during the relationship).
You are at least partially f~~~ed now; don’t f~~~ up more by either having another kid or doing marriage and losing half the s~~~ and having to pay vagimony.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
The prenup doesn’t matter.
With her, none of your hopes and dreams will come true…
Peace brothers
The prenup doesn’t matter.
With her, none of your hopes and dreams will come true…
Guy is as good as dead.
Been there, done that.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
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