Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › My NAWALT ?
This topic contains 27 replies, has 17 voices, and was last updated by 
dobie 4 years, 1 month ago.
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I’m down with everything I’ve read I’ve dated tons of women I know the truths however there was one girl I was with 6 years in my 20s who never bitched or complained , didn’t give a damm about money , was always joking and laughing and even never expected me to get a job . worked overtime to make my birthday special , took care of my sick pops etc
I was an absolute asshat to her. looking back I won’t go into detials suffice to say I cheated left right and centre and was very abusive verbally and even pyshically on occasion (I’m no longer that man)
I left her for someone else big big mistake as I landed Satan’s litte helper (karma) and though she was not for me I can’t find fault in her as a human being .
Would she have become an awalt in time or is possible she really was a NAWALT ?
Anyone women can change for better or worse. It is the risk. Life has no guarantees. Could be a sperm extracting slave saint to you for years then one day flips over and goes full feminazi s~~~. Usually the hotter she is – anything 6/10 and above, the more likely she will go bad on you.. The human logic is often very distorted and unpredictable.
Would she have become an awalt in time or is possible she really was a NAWALT ?
The biggest mistake we (men) make, is thinking ONE woman is wonderful because the others are s~~~. When most of them burn water when they make tea and expect to be taken out to eat all the time….. a girl who throws a bunch of noodles in a pot of boiling water for you – with some canned sauce — can make a guy think “THIS ONE IS F~~~NG AMAZING!!”.
No.
Taking an afternoon to bake you a lasagna from scratch… inviting you over after work…… sucking your dick to perfection…… wanting no orgasm for herself….. THANKING you for the lovely evening…. and wrapping up some extra lasagna for you to take home…… THAT’s when you can maybe start to wonder if she’s a unicorn. And not a day before that.
The S~~~ that some guys are impressed by……..
“OMG SHE SAID YES!!!!! IM THE HAPPIEST GUY ALIVE!!! I WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR MORE THAN A YEAR TO SAVE 3 MONTHS AFTER TAX SAVINGS JUST SO I COULD KNEEL DOWN AND ASK FOR PERMISSION TO LOVE HER UNTIL DEATH!! AND SHE SAID YES!!! !IM SO LUCKY!!! I FINALLY FOUND MY NAWALT!!!!”
That guy has brain damage and needs to put s~~~ in perspective — pronto.
I remember once a girl stayed with me for a few days. She did something no woman ever did. I left her there while I went to work, and when I came back, the dishes were washed. The sink was spotless. Glasses back in the cabinet. Laundry done – and folded – underwear too. Bed made, Place vacuumed . …. and I just about had a f~~~ing heart attack.
But why? Isn’t that the LEAST she could do after I entertained her, picked her up from the airport, paid for gas, cooked dinner, made omelettes for breakfast, went shopping for 3 hours the day before, squeezed fresh oranges, drove her around town, took her out and bought drinks the night before?
Why the F~~~ was I so impressed and thinking “Wow that’s a NAWALT!!”
Because most women wouldn’t?? Not reason enough.Your girl actually has to BE special. She’s not “special” just because other women are NOT special.
Put it all in proper perspective… and there is no NAWALT. Happy to break it to you.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.She was a 7/10 when we first started dating and went to a 5-6 just not for me I stoped finding her attractive and she was not the brightest spark but she was a good person moral etc
I’d like to think there are some decent women out there I know there’s tons of decent guys .
I realise that it’s almost impossible to find a woman worthy of being with in a relationship from a cost /benefit analysis and that 95% are chamelones with a probability of narcissistic personality disorder
But still …
Keymaster very valid points and thanks for reminding me of how we can think as guys . OK here’s the rub with her
No she was not bj and steak and all my ironing done stepford wife .
But she was
Home cooked meals , I don’t give a s~~~ if you lay about at home while she goes off to work and I will buy your fave PlayStation game .
Never hardly ever bitched always smiling and laughing
Messy as hell lol
Happy with the little things
Bj whenever I wanted
Found other women to be c~~~s
Kind
Believed in loyalty etc
She was a solid human being nothing like all the other c~~~s I have known since and there has been a LOT
The crazy thing is I miss her as a friend but I just wouldent want her back as a gf not because she was bad etc but just I was not fulfilled with her.
I’d like to think there are some decent women
That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Be very careful with that.
See your wording???
“I’d like to think there are some decent women”
DECENT? I recommend you up your standards as quickly as possible. If “decent” is “special” to you …. then what does that say about the REST??? “Decent” is the most basic thing a woman — or any human being — should be . Decent is f~~~ing starting at ZERO. If you have to fantasize that they are decent women out there, then you’re gonna get all swept away by the first “decent” one. That woman doesn’t even need to try to impress you. She will win the NAWALT crown by default.
To be clear, Im not giving you s~~~. I’m trying to warn before you start thinking she’s a NAWALT when she’s just decent.. Decent is the minimum expectation. She is welcome to work her way up from there.
I have heard guys say things like ” All I care about is that she’s not a complete bitch”. Could he aim any lower. Guys need to STOP being impressed by women and really pay attention to what elevates a girl up to relationship or marriage material. Some women even think all they need to do is spread their legs and BAM!!! you’re supposed to want a “relationship” with her.
Crazy.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.But still …
LOL that’s awesome dude. I’m kind of in the same boat right now Got a little asian gal, probably a solid 6 by most people’s standards, works out almost daily, but a bit stalky, like a kickboxer chick or something.
Anyway, she’s never been anything but totally nice and decent to me. Always offers to pay for dinner and doesn’t bat an eye when I take her up on it. I prefer to cook because I’m very good at it, at least for the food I like, and she always without fail heads into the kitchen and loads up the dishwasher, sweeps, etc until the kitchen is clean.
Makes the bed in the morning. Always cheerful and happy about it with a genuine “least I can do to help out” attitude. I’m definitely no poorer financially for having known her, and to be completely honest, am probably a way ahead.
I’ve made it very clear to her on more than one occasion that I don’t believe in marriage, and do not ever want to be married. I also made it clear that I’m not a very monogamous creature, but without going into detail.
Still she hangs around and is always cheerful. Always ready with a massage, which I love. and I mean always. She’s killing me with kindness.
I don’t really consider it a relations~~~, as I haven’t (and won’t) give her a key to my place, never introduced her to my kid or family with the exception of my Dad, but he’s seen a steady stream of girlfriends come and go and isn’t phased anymore.
Basically it’s a very friendly FWB kind of situation. Yet it’s gone on now for a couple of years now.
My biggest issue is that I actually feel pretty guilty. She seems to have genuinely decent intentions all around, and I feel like I’m just wasting her time.
Any advice?
PS: I’ll probably repost this as a top level advice request to the relations~~~ section, but this seems as good a time as any to start writing about it – it kind of troubles me sometimes.
"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,
The truth is, there are VERY few women who would qualify under Keymaster’s definition of decent, but there are some. The truth is, that they are very hard to distinguish from the fakes who will transform into witches and enslave you, but it can be done.
Unfortunately, you will be risking your life, your reputation, your job, and almost everything you hold dear if you attempt to find a unicorn, and although it “can be done”, as I said, it is HIGHLY unlikely. We’ve all seen the statistics, I’m sure, so we know how likely it is for any relationship to absolutely fail or, worse, trap you for the rest of your life.I forget who said it, but it might have been Keymaster. “Feel free and get married if you have around $500,000 to blow on a divorce.” Actually, it probably amounts to more like a few million between the marriage, kids, THEN divorce and possible loss of job or reputation due to false allegations. Basically, only get married if you are financially BULLETPROOF.
Conclusion: Simply not worth it.
Maybe some day women will improve on average, but until I am fully confident that I will not lose out from a marriage contract, it’s not worth it to even date.
Peace, dudes.
Just a misogynist virgin hiding away in his mother's basement. Nothing to see here...
My biggest issue is that I actually feel pretty guilty. She seems to have genuinely decent intentions all around, and I feel like I’m just wasting her time. Any advice?
Yeah, read this sentence again…..
I’ve made it very clear to her on more than one occasion that I don’t believe in marriage, and do not ever want to be married. I also made it clear that I’m not a very monogamous creature, but without going into detail.
Why do you think it’s working out so well? (rhetorical)
And it’s probably why she likes you. ENJOY IT!When did it happen – that when a guy is happy , content, and enjoys the female without having to lay EVERYTHING down for her….. he feels “GUILTY”? Dude that’s the way it SHOULD be. If it’s any less than that, you get rid of her!
Would you feel less guilty if she was nagging bitch? Im telling you, the things guys put up with is so bad, that you will feel guilty when things are good.. There is no point in being any female who is less than what you describe. She SHOULD make an effort to please you and be friendly, kind and all of that. Don’t feel guilty about that. That should be your minimum standard to be involved with her at all.
Some guys are happy when shows up on time!
“She’s really special. She shows up on time and texts me if she’s going to be late”.lolz That’s how bad it is.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Keymaster thank bro !
I’ve been saying recently and not noticed if only there was a decent girl etc etc but your right as men we need to set the bar higher than just “decent” .
biggvs : what the problem why the guilt ? She is happy you are happy ? enjoy .
right as men we need to set the bar higher than just “decent” .
That’s the spirit.
When you do that, you don’t even need to eliminate them. They eliminate themselves. Yesterday there was a thread about “what to do if she texts or uses her smartphone during a date”. Any answer other than “turn your back on her and leave” is giving her too much rope.
Even if a woman didn’t look at ( or touch ) her phone during a meal, I wouldn’t be impressed or give extra points for that. Some guys would!! If she is on a date and texting while eating, she’s not even “decent”.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Thanks for the reality check KM.
I agree and am internalizing most if not all your wisdom.
I guess the reason I feel a little bad is because I’m the first man she’s ever “been with” in pretty much every meaning of the words. I think she still thinks that I’ll change my mind and “come around” eventually if she’s just patient and nice enough.
The thing is, she does genuinely seem to be a good, selfless person. She believes in the values of her church, although decided to take a mulligan on the whole sex before marriage thing.
Let’s say for the sake of argument that she really is a genuine selfless and altruistic person and deep down inside someday wants to have that traditional married/family life.
Wouldn’t I be kind of an asshole for not breaking up with her so maybe she can find her white knight (which I’m never going to be)?
Remember, this is her first relationship ever.
"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,
Wouldn’t I be kind of an asshole for not breaking up with her so maybe she can find her white knight (which I’m never going to be)?
Remember, this is her first relationship ever.
No. Why would you be an asshole? She has no idea what’s better or worse? It’s your that’s placing your ideas on her of what a relationship should be like? Enjoy it while you can…My guess is someday she’ll see something on social media or talk to some girl friends who will then put some s~~~ in her ear about how she “deserves” better and she’ll change overnight. That’s when you move on. Otherwise, she sounds great on paper. It’s when women listen to women they change into devils, their evil intent comes to the surface. At least that’s what I think…I’ve heard stories about how certain asian women married to navy dudes all talk and then the woman with the lowest “status” then divorces her lower paid husband to get married to a higher ranked one. It’s f~~~ing ludicrous.
Thanks for the posts Keymaster, good information and things I’ve never thought about. Very informative indeed.
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein
Would she have become an awalt in time or is possible she really was a NAWALT ?
They don’t always do it on purpose, but they can act quite illogically. She did, after all, spend 6 years with ” an absolute asshat” who “cheated left right and centre and was very abusive verbally and even physically on occasion”. Anything could happen.
"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin
Wouldn’t I be kind of an asshole for not breaking up with her so maybe she can find her white knight (which I’m never going to be)?
Ahh hell, I’ll play devil’s advocate and say yes. She may be a unicorn (unlikely) or she may change (probably) but you’re not responsible for her, you’re responsible for you. If you feel the right thing to do is break up or lay it brutally on the line for her, then you should do the right thing. Yes you’ve told her, and yes she sounds like she is choosing to remain blissfully ignorant trying to change you. You’re not responsible for that. But you will have to live with yourself afterwards, so do what you think is right now and live life with a clear conscience (I’m not saying break up by any means, I’m just saying, put your conscience first).
Anonymous5She sounded great to me! A real genuine NAWALT.
Most men still don’t understand the concept of NAWALT.
It’s a simple formula,,,,you give OWNERSHIP and only then it becomes AWALT.After 6 years of being an asset, a friend, a lover, a companion, a decent human being, you never gave her emotional ownership. By your own admission you never really loved her
You could have stayed with her the rest of your life without giving her emotional ownership and it’s highly probable she’d have stayed the same, or eventually left you (broken hearted but still loving you)Sometimes I wish I’d have bookmarked certain threads in here.
At least 2 posts I’ve seen from members describe how they had drinking problems, from memory, both over 10 years.
They both describe how their partners lost interest in them and left them when they finally conquered their abusive drinking habits. This doesn’t seem to make sense on any level with Blue Pill rationale.I noticed these because I know of a better example from my own life.
My Ex’s father was an abusive alcoholic. Un-f~~~ing-believably bad.
My Ex grew up in a house of horrors, of physical and mental abuse and financial deprivation.
This went on for over 20 years.
Throughout all this time my Ex’s mum was the dutiful, long suffering martyr. A devoted mother and faithful wife.
Regardless of what anyone says she could have walked out anytime.
I’m not sure what the catalyst was but for some reason he stoppped drinking,,,,period.He always had work (he was a workaholic) as a diesel mechanic but only gave his family the barest of food money and never bought them presents or ever took them on holidays.
He did the biggest turnaround I’ve ever seen in a human being.
All of a sudden they had nice furniture, cloths and everything money could buy.Strangest thing happened. She dumped him and took off with his old drinking buddy who was still on the p~~~.
They’re still together to this day.How many women in your life have you seen stay with abusive men and keep going back to them.
It only happens when the man isn’t emotionally owned., and the woman is stuck in a biological loop trying to own him.They’re all NAWALTS till the ownership switch is flicked.
For some, it’s just telling them you love them that’ll flick the switch.
For others, it’s a friendship ring or moving in or a marriage proposal,
For the vast majority it’s the signing of the marriage contract.
For really smart women it’s the birth of the first child when “baby blues” start and never really end.
For really clever bitches it’s the approaching 10 year mark of marriage in states where there’s life alimony after 10 years.Most of the latter legal financial switches aren’t really biological, they’re contrived.
These women have had their NAWALT switches turned off long before the legal goals, even it was ever really turned on. Most gold digging man trappers see you as a target from the first moment. Most marriage contracts are about financial security for the woman.
Most of the simplistic short term thinkers, (most women) go into a true NAWALT phase which is flicked when any of the above mentioned “love” stages of ownership are achieved.
You can flick the switch in your first meeting if you’d like to test the theory. Just act and talk like you’re owned.We’ve all had NAWALTS like the one the OP described. It’s just a matter of time as to how long they stay “wonderful”
In hindsight we can all pinpoint when the change happened.
The only difference in the usual dynamics here is that the OP left her without ever falling in love and giving her emotional ownership.
He fell in love and gave the next NAWALT emotional ownership straight away.do what you think is right now and live life with a clear conscience
Thanks Shiny, that’s really good advice too.
I’m honestly not even that sexually attracted to her anymore. That’s one opf the other reasons I never married – I realized I could never stand to be with the same woman for my whole life. No matter how hot or nice she is, I ALWAYS get bored and want the new. Bill Maher once made a joke about that very phenomenon, and I honestly think it’s just human or at least male nature.
I’ve just been honest with myself about that and don’t ever want to be the evil cheating husband for something that’s just part of who I am.
I’ll keep the advice close to heart. For now though, it’s really hard to walk away from those two hour massages…..
"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,
GRAND-SLAM KM !!!
I guess the reason I feel a little bad is because I’m the first man she’s ever “been with” in pretty much every meaning of the words. I think she still thinks that I’ll change my mind and “come around” eventually if she’s just patient and nice enough.
At which point, while you are sleeping, her stinger will enter your leg, and you will be numb and unable to move. She will lay her eggs in your chest cavity that evening.
She’s nice now. Once you have committed to her, it is unlikely that she will continue to be quite so nice. From my own painful set of experiences, along with the painful sets of experiences of a) every male on this web zone, and b) every single married guy I know. If they were horrible c~~~s before marriage, it is less likely that a marriage would occur.
The thing is, she does genuinely seem to be a good, selfless person. She believes in the values of her church, although decided to take a mulligan on the whole sex before marriage thing.
She believes in the values of her church, except for when she doesn’t. ‘Cause, ya know, sex isn’t really a big deal in Christianity. Oh, wait.
Out of curiosity, what other tenets of her faith is she willing to forego?
Definitely pot calling kettle here; I have sinned, and am only redeemed, barely, because of grace and the perfection of God and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Probably far worse than your gf, too.
It’s a simple formula,,,,you give OWNERSHIP and only then it becomes AWALT.
Kabooms! Kabangs! You give ownership, and the self-immolating gym bag goes up with a puff of bright and fire!
*****
Before feminism, women were still women, but were socially conditioned to be much better. We’re all f~~~ed now.
*****
Dobie: In case 0rdinaryguy didn’t make it clear enough in his parable. She stayed with you, for six years, during which period you were abusive to her and didn’t love her. Has it occurred to you, ever, that a) this is not a dynamic you might want to live in for the rest of your life, b) there might be something not quite right with her for putting up with your s~~~, and c) if you stopped being abusive, she might go find someone who is abusive and dump your ass. I’m not guaranteeing anything, and don’t know you or her, obviously, but . . . some valid points seem to have been made in this thread. *shrug* Things to think about, anyway.
"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."
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