Realizing how much of my life I have wasted on women. It took three years basically broken, living at my childhood home, wrestling with old ghosts on a daily basis. I was a successful professional, well-educated. Over several decades, a marriage, and several very (five years+) long-term relationships later, I became a broken man, shattered, wrecked. Perhaps I always was, in some crucial way. No one experience, but like many of us, a series of abuses suffered and treachery foreborne.