Home › Forums › Introductions › My instincts tell me to run like hell, but I'm still with her.
Tagged: sheusedthespankbankonme
This topic contains 59 replies, has 36 voices, and was last updated by 
CombatRoll 2 years ago.
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Thank you for posting Mamoulian, I will give you my advice on this if you are willing to read the hard truth. The woman you are with has a plan, she is putting you down and making you feel like s~~~ for a reason. She wants to control you like a slave and get you to sign a slave contract (aka marriage license) so she can support her child and lifestyle on your dime. Her grandmother and any other family member is in on this plan, they want to own you and you know this but you are thinking she is a unicorn, that the sex is great and she is beautiful and does everything you want like eating pizza while watching horror movies. That is all an illusion designed by her to keep you chained and if you see the way her mother behaves the apple doesn’t fall from the tree that is how eventually she will be to you too.
As soon as you sign that marriage contract it is over, she is going to stop having sex with you after a year or two, she will gain weight and move in to utterly control your life. The fact that she has tracking software installed on your phone shows you to the level she will go to control you. Her plan is to completely dominate your life, rule you like a queen and make your life a living hell to get back at you for cheating on her. She wants to lower your sexual market value (SMV) so other women see you as not so desirable that is her goal. She will start feeding you and making you fat on purpose, you are not going to the gym and don’t have energy because she is sucking your energy from you with her drama every day making you tired.
On top of that you have to deal with a princess 8 year old that is not even your own child. Where is the ex in all of this? Based on my personal experience I can make an educated guess on the situation she has put him in. Regardless of who left in that relationship, I will put any amount of money on her demonizing her poor ex. She has probably let you listen in on conversations over the phone where he would call her a bitch and she would say “see look at how he treats me, he is the worst!” and yet she really is a bitch. Look at it from HIS perspective she probably took him to the cleaners and made his life a living hell and is now holding his daughter as ransom. Do you really want to be with someone like that who one day will want to have kids with you and do the same thing?
As soon as you have one child with her it is over, she is going to take everything you have and make it her own and make your life a living hell. I bet if you sat down and talked to her ex you would see the depths she is willing to go to screw you over in the future, you can learn from him. She is not a NAWALT, she is not a unicorn, and by her actions she is already trying to rule you. All women are like that (AWALT) you will see a lot of that on these forums. If you decide to get married in one or two years she will stop having that great sex with you, she will start getting fat, and stop working. She will use your cheating as an excuse for her to ride the c~~~ carousel and find Chad Thunderc~~~ to screw behind your back and once she finds another beta male she will divorce you and rinse and repeat onto the next guy.
Run brother, run as fast as you can and never look back you are in a no win situation you know this, your gut is telling you this but society is pressuring you into thinking you found the right girl. Screw that you haven’t and you never will learn from this mistake and move on you will thank us later for telling you this because most of us have been where you are now and we are telling you run. Also remember in a few years when she hits the wall her looks will be gone and then what does she have to offer you? Nothing because if you want kids she will even take that away from you to live with her.
Anonymous3Hi!
My instincts tell me to run like hell, but I’m still with her
I totally know this feeling. It happened to me some years ago, with my ex girl. And I am so happy that I finally decided and got out of that relation-s~~~.
The members here upset he cheated show stop it.
He is a man. A young girl threw him some ass and he caught it. Wtf is wrong with that? anyone saying that isn’t thinking clearly. The main reason I could never be married is because I know I wouldn’t turn down a hot piece of ass. Especially if I’ve only been with one other Bih for years.
F~~~ that.And as for the Bih and her kid…leave them while you still can.
Block her number. Idk if you live with her but start planning your exit strategy now.I hate seeing any guy get suckered into a relationship and have to sponsor someone else’s failed children.
It sucks.
Every time we finally catch a bitch red-handed lying, cheating etc. we usually know that our instincts told us this many times before. Then we kick ourselves for not having listened. She could have actually been a unicorn, but now she is toxic and guilt-tripping you.
The problem is wishful thinking…you don’t want to believe what your instincts are telling you. You see her as she could be, as you want her to be, rather than how she is. You see the relationships potential, and ignore its reality. This is MY problem time and time again, and I see it in your ignoring of your feelings. Maybe feeling depressed is not your condition that needs remedied, maybe feeling depressed is your instincts telling you “IT’S A TRAP! RUN U FOOL!”
About the cheating, trust is something that must be earned back, but in the end can never be earned once it is lost. You have done what you could to earn it back, but it will never be enough. She must decide that you have done what you could, and SHE must grow up and decide to forgive and forget anyway. Otherwise the failure is on her. This is something that maybe Christianity got right. If she refuses to do this, you will never be able to make her do it. You must give her an ultimatum “I can’t make you forgive me. Drop it, stop holding it against me, forget it ever happened, or else I am gone.”
She will no doubt say she forgives you, but her actions will tell your instincts what to do. If she tries guilting you into doing s~~~ again, then she is lying, your gut will tell you to run, and you MUST leave. Decide now. Give her an ultimatum. She will straighten up most likely, but if she backslides into shaming you again, you have already promised yourself to leave. If this happens, you MUST run.
And for your own sake…do not marry her. If you can find a state that honors prenups then this might be an option, but as I write this, I know that whatever state, in the future, will undoubtably stop honoring them. DO NOT MARRY HER! Your gut knows it is wrong. Your relationship would have to improve dramatically and stay that way for some time before it could even be considered an option. My guess is she will not truly forgive you, she will backslide into guilting you, and you will be left with no excuse not to RUN AWAY, FOOL!
Before you say NAWALT, condemn those women publicly; it's like a signal flare to the good men you can't find. But. first...stop being THAT girl.
The members here upset he cheated show stop it.
He is a man. A young girl threw him some ass and he caught it. Wtf is wrong with that? anyone saying that isn’t thinking clearly. The main reason I could never be married is because I know I wouldn’t turn down a hot piece of ass. Especially if I’ve only been with one other Bih for years.
F~~~ that.So cheating is cool in your book if it’s done by a man? Bulls~~~. Betrayal is wrong whether it’s by a man or a woman.
This attitude is what makes society brand all men as a bunch of unfaithful dogs.Young man GTF outta there, gut feelings are almost always right. Don’t be like me who has know my wife for the best part of 40 years and knew from year 1 that I had dived into a s~~~load of grief, get out and get out now to avoid more pain and suffering.
Whatever reason you cheated on her, I’m sure you had a good reason. Not enough sex, she doesn’t try to look good for you anymore etc. I understand. I would never risk something that felt worthwhile.
But now that you’ve lost that trust…you’re living like you’re on the run now. You really don’t have a good reason to stay.
See, the thing is, she’s not a typical chick- she’s beautiful, college educated, comes from wealth, has a great job, etc;
Don’t fall for it. She really ain’t all that. That’s all I’m going to say about it.
Welcome home brother!
Brother, we need to stick together.
I wanted to leave her….i tried…then she would run trying to make me stay. Then she would dump me when i was at my worst moment. Its all about power. This doesnt explains a 0.0000001% of what i went through….and still love her.
She has a great deal of power over you because you have ‘cheated’ on her and you’re feeling guilty. I will not say ‘you shouldn’t’. Cheating on somebody, or to be more precise, hurting someone’s feelings and breaking their trust is not right on many levels.
But that doesn’t mean you give her the keys to your life.
Many men cheat. Many MARRIED men cheat too. The thing is that men can actually admit that they were an ass to their partners, take responsibility. But women can’t and won’t, ever.
Don’t let the guilt destroy your life. Your freedom is more important than your conscience to ‘amend for your mistake’. Amend in some other way, but don’t let anybody control your life.
Welcome to mgtow.com
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
My friend got back together with a single mom who he cheated on last time they broke up.
Now she has upper hand and thinks she can be a bitch and control every aspect of his life. And he’s OK with it because he feels guilty. This is a textbook definition of emotionally abusive relationship.It’s not a trust issue. Your feeling of guilt will subside, but she’ll never going to give her power back. It’s an excuse to control you and shame you into submission. Run
He should feel guilty. Cheating is a deal breaker and when trust is betrayed the relationship is over. If she had cheated on him I would say dump the bitch. Well, that works both ways unless one is a hypocrite..
That’s right. Which is why I gave her an ultimatum, to either explain whatever she’s hiding, or I’m gone. I’m not shallow. Even if I hadn’t cheated, I’d give her one more chance, we were that close. This woman, she was special, but I f~~~ed it up. This , it’s my fault, but it was f~~~ed up to see how far she took it.
thanks for all the useful advice. Russky – , that definitely correlates with how she’s been acting. I have the email below, check it out man.(I’m 34, she’s 40 really really hot 40, shes insecure about it but looks 29, spends about an entire hour preparing herself for work, I had always wondered why, and now I f~~~ing know.)
This link’s to a google drive folder that has the photos that have some of the red flags, but, 95% of my mind knew she was hiding something at the times I’ll go over, below.Hey , I’m really having a bad night, and, well I don’t feel like doing any mining rig s~~~. F~~~ all that s~~~. foxtrots f~~~ed up.
What I need to do is talk about what’s bothering me, and that is the fact that my fiance, is messing around on this deletable text application at work, amongst other things,but the fact of the matter is that I am sure that she’s guilty because I know her so well as a person. The signs, and how she acted about certain things, when fear struck her because I had the phone, etcetra, all of this. That’s the bad part about it, I can tell just by talking to her, looking at her, how she interacts with me, ETC…………………………………………..If you don’t read this and don’t respond, it is totally fine and I just needed to vent anyway. Now, usually we have zero issues in that department, but I neglected her when crypto shot up and I got confused, and moved my money on that exchange, I didn’t want it to plunge, without a stop order up.
She seems to have not understood that too well, didn’t wanna hear I was staying home because of that, but it may have been because she was looking for a reason to continue doing whatever it is she’s doing, maybe she needed that validation. She’s still denying it, it’s sad, because I’m really willing to work it out with her. Now, before I start I’ll say I was the first one to break the trust, year and half or so ago. So, really, it’s a wash, which is why I’m willing to try to work through it, even though that’s going to be bulls~~~, because she seriously thinks she’s gonna get away with it. Bullllllls~~~.
So, I don’t have anyone else to vent to, I mean I do, but it wouldn’t do any goo. Hey, you just might get a decent
read out of it. You have a good logic, boss, but it isn’t needed – what’s been deduced has been deduced and it’s done, in my book. Telling my dad would mean
that I’m making a mistake, jumping the gun, because he’s biased and likes her, because she’s a smart, stable, nonsmoking, non drinking, non partying, sexy, etc. She is the prettiest girl I’ve ever had, no doubt. Kinda girl you run around cleaning up before she gets there, kinda girl. Yesterday when I went over there, she had her tight, grey sweatpants right up her ass, and her hair all pushed up, like I like. exactly how I like. just to be a bitch and push me away,
She’s a 10. 10’s
come with a price though. I guess that price is other males going after your woman with a consistency that
defiles your natural virility/personal s~~~, and your woman giving them attention, if you haven’t been lately. I
definitely haven’t been lately, the last two weeks I was almost entirely f~~~ing with the computer bvecause I had some work related stuff come up that required me to watch the screen for 4-5 days straight.
and I know
that she f~~~ed around, no doubt, you know how you can just ‘tell’?….It makes sense, and I don’t blame her. .but what I found, is that the way Russky says she’s been acting, has been going since a fixed date. If you’ve came this far, go ahead and read on. She is such a bitch, right around the same time I know she was f~~~ing around in February, I remember she came up to me and said “I’m trying to tell you that I need attention” ….right. Is that why you’re on text apps and hiding s~~~?
So we’ve been together almost 5 years. I met her at LSU, she was a nurse at the health center and I was
doing some electrical work over there, this when I was around 29-30 – we have a healthy relationship most of the
time, but we have been on a really rocky slope this year, since February (she’s really just had a ton of attitude,
everything is my fault, I guess because, she’s seeing that guy and wishing I was him, or , maybe mad she has to
look at me, I don’t know.) and she will often say, “Are you talking to anyone , messaging anyone, etc” All the time,
all while she’d been calling me and making sure I’m where I say I am……..well played, wow.
she had a 5 year old (now 9)and we took to each other really well, taught the kid chess, work on her math and science (i
feel those are the 2 most important subjects, as they’re very comprehensive – chemistry as well – Taught her how
to throw a jab ,tie shoes, running with her, taught her how to play hold-em and really enjoying it. She knows respect,
and says sir, ma’am, and she sits properly and has good manners, she’s a good kid. I really am a good
positive role model for the child. and mama just doesnt give a f~~~, but its starting to make more sense, especially after about 3am last night, which is how long it took for me to fiiiiiinnd out what I founnnnd out.
I’m the only good positive male role model in her life other than her grandfather (best granddad ever). Just
today we were playing volleyball and I came close to explaining to her exactly what a blockchain does,
she is almost ready to grasp the concept – I just want to wait until she’s more interested and sees the rigs
in action, and me using SSH across the network getting things done, – she’d be sold, yeah that’s the
plan. She probably won’t think it’s cool and wanna mess with it and that’s fine, but I feel as a human
being and a good father figure, it’s my duty to show the child something revolutionary and help her
understand it young. I’d regurgitate chem or math, talk about polar and nonpolar, sig figs, simple stuff .. She’s a little young, and again, she got to 5 with basically no real dad
around, but ever since we’ve been together I feel like she will go after the right guy, If the dad does it right, the girl ends up normal, and goes after guys who remind her of how
her dad was, because it’s a model of security and safety imo. My child knows I work my ass off and love my her mama, I have a good sense of humor, and I’m optimistic most times,, show
her respect, never yell, pull out chairs, open doors, here in the south that’s how I was raised. So, I am confident
she will be alright in that respect, something I am worried about is when she starts dating.
She is spoiled rotten though, grandpa is a pharmacist who used to own his own company, and
granny is a retired state teacher and museum curator. She pretty much gets the trust fund treatment. But,
you know how it is. Once a kid does a few really nice things for you, like, bring you some earthy tea that tastes like dirt
with mint leaves in it, that I always drink anyway, because I know she appreciates it, even though I hate
the dirt taste, when I’m sick (which is rare, but she’s kind and helpful like that, and sweet in her own way.
she’s still innocent, and has that mentality where it’s okay to hum to yourself when you’re
chewing. She also smoked me in holdem the other day, and has been learning how to bluff really well.I told her that I’d stay with her if she’d just open up and tell me, but that hasn’t happened yet. Nope, and I don’t think it will. I’m pretty sure whoever she’s f~~~ing around with, works with her because she used to call me on every break, on the way, to and from, and I got ugly and shelled up about a month-two months ago when I was working on my dads house, and that’s kinda how all this s~~~ started…neglect…….She’s not going to do anything to risk telling me, if she doesn’t tell me herself.
Unfortunately though, I broke the trust and I did cheat on her. I did cheat on her, with another woman for about a month , so that is much, much worse, but I was immediately willing to work through it, and install gps bulls~~~, and deal with sending pics in texts, ETC…
I know for sure something is going on, and have no f~~~ing idea who it is. It could be a dr. at her job…who knows, man. Moving on, we’ve been working through all this for almost a year and a half now, gps apps, 5 years of my life down the f~~~ing toiletBITCH!!!
skype when we sleep if we are apart, you name it. Now, those things were my idea to setup, I usually
lead with that statement before I disclose all that gps crap, because it’s embarrassing. When I was in
school, one time I was almost late for Chemistry and she freaked because I didn’t login to the wifi on the
way to class. If I don’t let her know anytime I leave somewhere, or if I’m at my parents’ house, I’ll
periodically get asked for a photo here and there, that’s no big deal.
But, Dave, you see…The thing is, I feel like every time she asks it , she’s done something or up to some s~~~.She’s been doing that reverse psychology s~~~ on me…
so that’s the way I was living. Yeah, it was love.
So here’s how I caught her…
I went outside and played with her 9 year old and came back inside to talk to mama. I came at her with
an understanding, appreciative, calm, extremely kind manner, but not stupid – very calm and controlled, understanding, willing to hear stuff I don’t like, and discuss. You know. Which isn’t hard for me or anything, I’m just trying to put into perspective what threw me off…I was really making an
effort to talk, in low, calm tones, about things that are disturbing us, so we can hash em out. Right? I
noticed zero give in that demeanor, and almost a willingness to start an argument over almost nothing; I tried several different things and it was clear that she had her mind made up and it was like a mental BLOCK –
that told me that she had something else she’s interested in, otherwise, there would have been
different feelings, because this girl loves me, she does, shes just, shes just getting me back I guess. S~~~, I told her back then she could do it, but…meh I don’t know if I meant, I am not to be cuckolded.(anymore?:( )
she isnt like that at all, but i guess I made her that way. (Even though the same exact thing happened with
some marine at her college, same story…………………………………)
I tried to come home and work on my stuff, but, I decided not to. I decided to spy through her stuff, I
couldn’t relax, man. I’ll tell you why, and how I knew I had to go through her s~~~.
So, I nonchalantly took her phone and walked off to the bathroom. Within two minutes, she said ‘Do you
have my phone in the Bathroom…’ and I said yeah, (9yr old was nearby, and she would never have done
that, ever, in the past, about the phone, unless something like fear was biting her in the ass. She’s a very
relaxed person unless some s~~~ is awry, and I just knew, you know? You just know, I’ve been with her
almost five years, you just know.) so that’s where she f~~~ed up the first time, and I didn’t call her on it, I
made a mental note.
I had to know. So, I pull open the verizon mail account. I had access to it on my desktop. She’s not stupid,
and knows better than to get calls or texts from anyone liek that, but I know for a
fact it’s going on because of this right here , that I’m going to send to you. It’s snippets of the stuff I
found, on her cell phone web site. She has no social media at all…but on that site it said in December she had 5%, January 7%, Feb 10%, ….and another usage area was ‘Email and messagning’ that was 5% on Feb, containing ‘Messaging Apps’ -….yeah, she’s still trying to talk her way out of it.
If you read this, thanks for listening.
Your friend,
sucker, s~~~head, dumbass, ignorant motherf~~~er, trial and error learneroh f~~~ you guys are hilarious really you all posted that much
okay lemme go back and respond.
This whole thing is going to be a crisis, because I know she’s going to continue denying it, and I really am not going back over there until she admits it. Gonna be a long week.
She wanted this anyway, otherwise it wouldnt have happened
My instincts tell me to run like hell, but I’m still with her.
It you don’t trust your instincts, just give it some time. At some point your common sense will eventually kick in. I’d advise you to heed that…
this is all a big load of s~~~, and shes starting to figure it out. I feel like she’d rather be done with me, than try to tell me and work through it and share the guilt.
Dude, I am barely understand most of what you wrote. But it’s absolutely clear that you are rather miserable with your life.
It sounds like you are confused as hell and have no idea what to do or what’s even going on in your life.
So why do you want to stay with this woman? Are you afraid of what life will be without her? Are you wanting to have kids of your own? Are you afraid of what other people will think. It can’t be that she makes you happy, because you obviously are not happy. If you ‘get through this’, what’s the big payoff for you. How is marrying this woman suddenly going to make everything good? You don’t trust her and she doesn’t trust you.
I understand how you feel about the daughter, but she will go on without you. You are not daddy, it’s not your responsibility. If it were, they you would be able to be with her without getting approval from mom. And mom will pull her away from you, use her as leverage, whatever it takes to get what she wants.
I guess I would recommend that you try and step away from all this for a while, to give you a chance to get your head straight. To make sense of this so you can make logical decisions. Maybe it will even make her realize that she cannot take you for granted like she has.
Walk away for a bit so you don’t have to live with a bad decision for the rest of your life.
Ok. Then do it.
I’m not trying to be an ass here but if you cared for her why did you cheat on her?
Would you be mad if she cheated on you?
She seemed pretty bitchy, I kept wondering why, I just found out
Rhino, her mother always cooks the most fattening foods…She’ll go in there with bacon fat in some biscuits like it’s normal and healthy, and almost offended if you don’t eat a good bit. She is a pretty nice lady, but you know, once you know people, you can tell when they’re bulls~~~ting you with a s~~~ eating grin, unfortunately. It is an offensive thing if you don’t eat her food, basically. Her mom was the same way….Reminds me of the government, and how they feed older diabetics pills rather than fix the diet, only to make them die off earlier to save money on state benefits…dont get me started, you probably won’t wanna hear it anyway. Or maybe you will. You f~~~ers are about the red pill.
Here recently, I’ve slimmed down quite considerably. The mother has been standoffish, as well as the daughter. In the gym, I was bout 265, that I did my research and switched my health goals to longevity. When I did this, I also was researching fermented foods and started making my own yogurt and kefir, I could tell she felt threatened, started acting weird when I started eating the right omega3s, I really loved that cold bitch. dumb f~~~ i am.
The last time I f~~~ed her, I asked her why she had her eyes closed…….
spankbanked me
Dude, I am barely understand most of what you wrote. But it’s absolutely clear that you are rather miserable with your life.
It sounds like you are confused as hell and have no idea what to do or what’s even going on in your life.
So why do you want to stay with this woman? Are you afraid of what life will be without her? Are you wanting to have kids of your own? Are you afraid of what other people will think. It can’t be that she makes you happy, because you obviously are not happy. If you ‘get through this’, what’s the big payoff for you. How is marrying this woman suddenly going to make everything good? You don’t trust her and she doesn’t trust you.
I understand how you feel about the daughter, but she will go on without you. You are not daddy, it’s not your responsibility. If it were, they you would be able to be with her without getting approval from mom. And mom will pull her away from you, use her as leverage, whatever it takes to get what she wants.
I guess I would recommend that you try and step away from all this for a while, to give you a chance to get your head straight. To make sense of this so you can make logical decisions. Maybe it will even make her realize that she cannot take you for granted like she has.
Walk away for a bit so you don’t have to live with a bad decision for the rest of your life.
I really appreciate you coming by. She’s about to get off work and call me in about an hour, probably, she wants me to go over there and I’m not. If she doesn’t tell me, I’m not going anywhere, shouldn’t even really go anyway, and probably won’t, why do we do it
Had to stay up and keep stop limits… I know that post looked like s~~~, I had a lot to say. There are certain times where you just need to pour it out, and type. It made me feel much better, which was why I did it. Thanks for the concern.
The best,
Mamoulian- AuthorPosts
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