My Ex is Getting Married Tomorrow

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Ogre wrote:

@Deep on Thought, if the wedding guests are talking about you she must have been hung up for a long time. It’s the only reason that almost 20 years later they’d bring you up. Keep in mind all of the things that you already mentioned in this thread. He is signing a contract on a FULLY depreciated asset at this point. One of them decided to push for marriage at this late point, probably her since she realized she’s out of options. Understand though that you aren’t totally out of the woods yet. When she gets BORED with being married to him she’ll start to hit you up. You obviously left an impression since her family still feels the need to bring you up. At that point it will be up to you, hit it and quit it or just forward the messages to her husband and really burn her.
You did well all of those years ago, and from what I’ve seen you’ve lived well since. Congratulations on being the one that got away.

Sorry for the typo Ogre, I meant 18 months later not 18 years. We split just on 2 years ago.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Walked into my local cafe this morning, like every morning, and you wouldnt believe it. About a dozen of the customers having breakfast was the exes family and close friends. Wow, the nasty looks and whispers as I walked in and the cafe staff greeted me as usual. It is just sad especially that 50+ y/o men and women can act like such pathetic high school groups but moreover that a woman, my ex, can go around and smear me to everyone and play the victim and get away with it. That’s what really burns me that any woman can play the pussy victim card and a man like myself is seen as the absolute monster.

Anyway, I kept my frame the entire time i was there, stood proud and confident and actually hear a *click* as one of these women snapped a sneaky picture of me.

I was thinking about guys as I was in there and the support, clarity and advice you gave me. Thanks!

Deep

[NioZenParticipant 856]

Be glad that it isn’t you that just put a 50% – 60% margin of risk on your retirement.

Just dance bro. Just dance. Whooo, life is good.

Whoever said that ‘the best revenge is living well’ was wise indeed.

Feel free to laugh your ass off at the gossipy little pussy manginas whispering and tattling about you.

Always be armed with big s~~~ eating grin for just such a occasion.

‘And on that day, not a single s~~~ was given, nor even a squirt of p~~~…’

We only dream this bondage. Wake up and let it go. - Vivekananda

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

DeepInThought wrote:

That’s what really burns me that any woman can play the pussy victim card and a man like myself is seen as the absolute monster.

DeepInThought,
What a week you’ve had.
If it’s any consolation, you handled yourself well and showed great restraint.
All women are experts at playing the victim and their entourage of skanks love to fabricate fables. Ignore them. (Or maybe hook up with one of her friends and really p~~~ her off.)
You will have the last laugh. You are a free man.
When my ex ran off with a preacher, I bought a keg and threw a party to celebrate my freedom.
Hired a few strippers too. I spent a few weeks at stripper bars until the pain left. Once another bitch is cordial towards you you will feel better.
Time to celebrate bro.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Thanks guys, I appreciate it!

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

If it’s any consolation, you handled yourself well and showed great restraint.

Took me a long time to get to this point.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

I don’t know how to feel atm? Relieved or a little jealous.

Your situation has developed since what I have quoted above (i.e. having to run into acquaintances at a local cafe) but Im just going to adress your original post.

Permanently losing, someone or something, results in a grieving process. Which is entirely natural and normal, irrespective if the loss you experienced was someone who was a net negative in your life. The fact that you have some sense or feelings of loss, even though you rationally realize she was a negative in your life is entirely normal. There is nothing abnormal about that. In fact, I would argue it would be abmormal for you to NOT feel that way.

There is both a disconnect and a logical connection in this. On the one hand, it sounds logically dosconnected to feel a loss of someone you intellectually realize is a net negative in your life. On the other hand, if someone has invested their: time, effort, emotion and anything else in somone than it wouldnt make any rational sense to not feel a “loss”.

Bottomline: its natural and healthy for you to feel this way, but at the end of the day you made the right decision. Juxtapose that mind-set with females who have ZERO feelings of investment in men or marriages based on years or decades of trust, sharing emotional and financial resources and even children, yet they have ZERO problem cutting ties.

Big difference.

Chin up my friend. And what your feeling is natural and a sign youre a sentient and intelligent individual.

Resident cynic.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

DeepInThought wrote:

Thanks @ancientwisdom and I agree on ALL points.

It’s funny I was watching this video today and I distinctly remember Stage 4 like it was yesterday. Seriously though, God I miss her son, he wasn’t my kid but he meant the world to me!

[BlackEagleParticipant 54]

BigD wrote:

Just remember, when you were with her and she would bitch about her exes, she is now saying all those same, nasty things about you to her now hubby. And when she dumps his ass, she will say the same things about him as well.

Clap clap clap clap this is soo true at least in my experience! She would talk her 2 ex’s to s~~~s, i just stayed indifferent and always though why she broke up with them or they broke up with her.. hmm why? could it be that maybe she really is not all that who she says she is! and this was during when the relationship started! and she was always the victim!
I can relate to you fellow mghow as my relations~~~ end 6-7 and wiht in two months she had another slave in her barn 4 months later at exactly 6months on the day of our EX-anniversary she is engaged with ring on her finger and poor bastard its in with both feet.. i felt a tad down for a couple of hours but then recovered and though to my self how can someone get engaged to anyone with in 6 months and after all those words of desperation of her not being able to live with out you this happens… SHE NEVER LOVED ME! END!!! feel free and liberated!

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

God I miss her son, he wasn’t my kid but he meant the world to me!

Kids are amazing. They allow us to have feelings about the world weve become immuned to. We get to live vicsriously through them, and experience the excitment they do as they see things for the first time.

But that experience wasnt unique to your ex. Hell, they werent even your kids. I experience the same feeling you talk anout with my nephew/nieces. Absolutely NOTHING wrong with what your feeling. I would just suggest dont equate those feelings as something she singularily and uniquely provided you.

They werent your kids. Youll have the same experience with any kids whom you have a connection to them and their parents. As for her: anyone or anything we invest in and say goodbye to, whether positive or negative, theres a natural grieving period.

Resident cynic.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Well this s~~~ show finally ended last night when an ex female friend, she’s a grubby little gossip, decided to be a real piece of work and send me a pic of the happy couple on their wedding day. What a real piece of work huh?

Anyway, I havent seen my ex for 2 years and OMG I cannot believe how haggered she looks, youd expect that after she punched a kid out at 40. Anyway this is what made me laugh. The Groom had the exact platinum wedding ring we had designed for me when we were planning our future and it was a casual beach wedding and the bride wore this lacey white dress. The dress was what she wore around in summer with me and I remember so vividly pulling it up and f~~~ing her so many times against the wall. Now it was her wedding dress. Oh the irony!

Everything you guys said is 100% true, im a believer.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

BlackEagle wrote:

Clap clap clap clap this is soo true at least in my experience! She would talk her 2 ex’s to s~~~s, i just stayed indifferent and always though why she broke up with them or they broke up with her.. hmm why? could it be that maybe she really is not all that who she says she is! and this was during when the relationship started! and she was always the victim!

^^^This is exactly what happened and me being a blue piller back then i ignored ALL the red flags. Then it was pointed out later that she was a very attracted, intelligent blonde hair blue eyed sociopath and they can get away with anything!

[NioZenParticipant 856]

DeepInThought wrote:

Well this s~~~ show finally ended last night when an ex female friend, she’s a grubby little gossip, decided to be a real piece of work and send me a pic of the happy couple on their wedding day. What a real piece of work huh?

Don’t let this kind of thing get to you at all amigo. You have to laugh at people like this, because they really are tragic petty clowns.

DeepInThought wrote:

Anyway, I havent seen my ex for 2 years and OMG I cannot believe how haggered she looks, youd expect that after she punched a kid out at 40.

*Splut*

Hit the wall at Mach 3. Close escape.

DeepInThought wrote:

The dress was what she wore around in summer with me and I remember so vividly pulling it up and f~~~ing her so many times against the wall. Now it was her wedding dress. Oh the irony!

She really gone to town on this wedding huh? This guy must really be ‘the one’. hahahahahahaha!

I would condone total ghost from here, but if you absolutely have to drop a bomb, ask the grubby little friend if the ex washed the dress before the big day.

Tomorrow is all that matters now though, leave them all for dust and corpses and be who you were born to be.

We only dream this bondage. Wake up and let it go. - Vivekananda

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

NioZen wrote:

I would condone total ghost from here, but if you absolutely have to drop a bomb, ask the grubby little friend if the ex washed the dress before the big day.

That’s hilarious.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

I just wanted to post this link here to any others guys who experienced or is currently experiencing this, it helped me a lot.

http://shrink4men.com/2013/02/06/the-next-guy-did-your-ex-girlfriend-or-ex-wife-downgrade/

[Frank V.Participant 2445]

DeepInThought wrote:

Walked into my local cafe this morning, like every morning, and you wouldnt believe it. About a dozen of the customers having breakfast was the exes family and close friends. Wow, the nasty looks and whispers as I walked in and the cafe staff greeted me as usual. It is just sad especially that 50+ y/o men and women can act like such pathetic high school groups but moreover that a woman, my ex, can go around and smear me to everyone and play the victim and get away with it. That’s what really burns me that any woman can play the pussy victim card and a man like myself is seen as the absolute monster.
Anyway, I kept my frame the entire time i was there, stood proud and confident and actually hear a *click* as one of these women snapped a sneaky picture of me.
I was thinking about guys as I was in there and the support, clarity and advice you gave me. Thanks!
Deep

1. The fact that you did not marry into such an abusive and immature family is great news.
2. “Little pitchers have big ears”. Acting so horribly towards you in front of that child is one way to help him to grow up a MGTOW.
3. Any time that I hear an ex so trashed, I start to wonder. It means she has horrible judgment, loves to slander or both. If all the exes are so “bad”, then I quietly dump her fast. This sap who married her is clueless- you know she has been slandering you all along and he still married her ?

As for the kid, to be honest you have no control over that. At least you are setting a good example with your actions- kids are wonderful at watching what you do and seeing if it matches your actions. They are often allergic to hypocrisy.

Frank V.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Frank V. wrote:

As for the kid, to be honest you have no control over that. At least you are setting a good example with your actions- kids are wonderful at watching what you do and seeing if it matches your actions. They are often allergic to hypocrisy.

Thanks Frank but as stated further up the page it is not my kid. It is from her first marriage, guess i was the rebound guy who took a damaged women, helped her become centered, healthy and happy and at the end I was the wreck. Vampire!

I havent seen her son in over 2 years.

[Frank V.Participant 2445]

DeepInThought wrote:

Frank V. wrote:

As for the kid, to be honest you have no control over that. At least you are setting a good example with your actions- kids are wonderful at watching what you do and seeing if it matches your actions. They are often allergic to hypocrisy.

Thanks Frank but as stated further up the page it is not my kid. It is from her first marriage, guess i was the rebound guy who took a damaged women, helped her become centered, healthy and happy and at the end I was the wreck. Vampire!
I havent seen her son in over 2 years.

I knew the kid was not yours. It’s a bond of honor, not blood. Regardless, you did what you could for the kid and came out smarter for it.

Cheers to you.

Frank V.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Thanks Frank, I appreciate your input.

I was actually having a beer and chat with my Dad this afternoon. He’s been married 57 years and I was saying “Dad how the f~~~ did I end up here? I mean I’m 40 I thought I would have been married, had kids and my life squared away now, everything seems up in the air.” He didn’t say anything he just listened and nodded like older guys do, they know the score and have life worked out.

Sensibly, I know I dodged a bullet, and To be honest I definitely got sick of f~~~ing the same woman, thinking about other women just to release but I think a part of my life is incomplete without kids.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

DeepInThought wrote:

Sensibly, I know I dodged a bullet, and To be honest I definitely got sick of f~~~ing the same woman, thinking about other women just to release but I think a part of my life is incomplete without kids.

This is pretty much where my life is at as well. I’d really like kids, I still got another 10ish years to have them before I’d be at an age where I’d consider myself too old simply because I don’t want dependents when I’m over 60, but the thought of giving a modern woman any control or power over my life by reproducing with her makes me sick to the stomach…and getting married certainly isn’t ever going to happen.

It just feels like a lose and a win either way…do I want to stay childless and totally win the game financially and enjoy an early retirement and many years of leisure, or do I want to want to go for the kids but have to put my freedom and finances up on the chopping block and hope some c~~~ doesn’t drop the axe.

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