Men and Loneliness?

[DanLimitlessParticipant 26]

Loneliness is just a man-made word/label that has a man-made meaning/emotion attached to it and is only applicable within the Matrix (false reality).  In true reality it doesn’t exist.  ‘Fear of being lonely’ or ‘fear of being/ending up alone’ are man-made concepts/constructs created to keep the masses under control where they can be easily manipulated.  There is also a massive amount of commerce/industry that rely on you believing it and staying in the Matrix.  Being with other people isn’t the cure, it’s just a band-aid and only treats the fake symptom.  So, when you give up fear, attachment, and the illusion that is the Matrix you’re not bound by those constructs any longer…you’re free.”

[rorickParticipant 682]

Feeling lonely in a relationship is definitely the worst thing than feeling lonely when you are single. But one thing is for sure, loneliness is definitely a mind thing which is why it pushes most men in to relationships again and again even though he was burned in his past.

I’m single and staying alone in my room for the past three years ever since my parents moved to their native place and also i haven’t had any girlfriends in my entire life. I would say past three years are the best part of my life, i learned a lot and realized what life is all about.

.. My usual day starts with workout, then cooking, watching TV, some freelance works at my convenience, sleeping, and yes watching porn and jerking off a real stress buster . once in a week i go out to watch movies with my friends and also go for some trips i love traveling…… Sometimes i don’t even open my room for an entire week, I never ever felt lonely not a single time because i don’t feel the need of a third person to make me happy.

Find happiness in yourself, do what you like to do, and don’t give a s~~~ about how society feels., because at the end of the day your happiness is all matters.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

OPEN WIDE SUCKER

your living a red pill moment…proof that what these others are saying is true..being lonely and not being alone..

your feelings are your own…chances are she feels the same way,but she will never seek truth or help… Unless its from a man…I like everything these other guys said its good stuff, but mgtow stuff, not relationship advice…Keep that in mind as you deal with your feelings and hers...If you want to keep her, you must act and act fast and act happy…no mater your feelings pretend your wonderful and life is great and has new meaning to you…Make it seem to her you have figured out some ancient secret to being happy…she will notice….If you fail to do this her own feelings will cause her to find her happiness with another man who she feels is more up-beat….I am presuming she has not found someone already that she assumes makes her happy behind your back…you can give yourself contentment and be happy but a woman has this stupid, irrational belief that her happiness is dependent on  some imaginary perfectly real man who was put on this earth specifically for her emotional well being…Use any or all of the advice here to deal with your feelings…..Deal with hers or not….I don’t believe anyone here gives a f~~~ about her feelings, including myself…

I personally feel that using “game” is not worth my efforts….But your in a situation unlike most men here….Do you want to keep her or not is the first question you must ask yourself…dealing with you own feelings is easy for most men when the correct logic is used, but dealing with a woman’s expectations is more than most men here is willing to take on….good luck in your relations~~~….

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

Things are making a frightening turn. My best friend is facing a life threatening illness. I talked to him just now and he doesn’t sound good. He needs treatment. I started smking today again. I have been living in another room and the w doesn’t seem to care. She seems happy. Now she knows I started smking again and she is p~~~ed about that. So I have a falling apart mrrg and a friend whose life is in danger. I told her I lved her and she couldn’t say it back. She said she “cares” for me which I guess is something. She’s just p~~~ed I’m smking again. But s~~~, all this time to myself… what the hell does she expect! So I am juggling these thing at one time. It’s rough.

63

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I started smoking today again. I have been living in another room and the w doesn’t seem to care. She seems happy. Now she knows I started smking again and she is p~~~ed about that. I told her I loved her and she couldn’t say it back. She’s just p~~~ed I’m smking again.

OK STOP.

Read that all again. I’m serious. Read it. do you have any idea how that sounds?

WHO GIVES A F~~~ what she thinks – or dislikes. Are you out of your f~~~ing mind?

Your wife makes you sleep in a separate room on the floor and you care that she is p~~~ed off about you smoking a cigarette? She is in no position to be p~~~ed. She won’t f~~~ you. She doesn’t respect you. Why do you give a s~~~ about her? I know you’re going through a hard time, but Im beginning to see how your problems are created by YOU. You allow this s~~~ to happen to you. You just sit there and take it.

Kick this bitch out of your life. Take whatever you can carry and get THE F~~~ OUT and don’t tell her where you’re going. Disappear. Anything to get yourself out of this pathetic situation. Im not even in it… and I can’t see it anymore.

How you put up with this s~~~ is totally unbelievable.

Maybe you don’t have the cojones to grab a hold of your life by the sack and move out, but – for God sake’s man (and your own) – you can start by lighting up a smoke with a smile and not giving a f~~~ what she has to say about it. Let her HATE you for it. The more she hates it, the better.

At the very least, have the b~~~~ to let a woman hate you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

Keymaster I understand what you’re saying. For the record I moved out of the room on my own. But I understand what you’re saying.

29

[Anonymous 42]

Hey Pz, KeyMaster makes sense here, If you could go to a friends house, or go camping, or anything else, anywhere else, you’ll have some time AWAY, key word “away”, you’ll have time to “feel” the difference. You may have feelings for her, but she has no right to act concerned over you’re smoking. Quit smoking for yourself, not for her. You really need time away to sort out “YOUR” feelings. She has abused you in ways you have yet to realize. You haven’t even felt the anger that comes with realizing this abuse. Save yourself from her stone cold heart, her kind of abuse can only serve to damage your self esteem, making you a smaller man (marginalizing you)=(pZ1$) break the margins and become ))))) PZ1$, #1 (((((

[KeymasterKeymaster]

There is a very clear imbalance here and it not even tolerance or manners anymore. This is no time for politeness. I don’t even know on what planet a man can care about what a woman thinks of him smoking after treating him with such contempt and non-extistent respect.

I only mean well PZ and it all comes from caring about your best interest, but Im starting to care more are your best interest than even YOU are.

Start taking charge in your life. ONLY good things will come from it.

The next time she objects to you smoking, I would tell her:
“I DONT GIVE A F~~~ WHAT YOU APPROVE OF. NOW GET THE F~~~ OUT OF MY SIGHT.”

Ever tried that before?? OMG it feels f~~~ing fantastic.

The last time we connected you had this great attitude and were saying “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!! IM NOT PUTTING UP WITH IT ANYMORE” and I was so happy for your self=-determination. Don’t lose that quality when you need it the most.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Smacktalk73Participant 296]

The word “loneliness” is, I think, and attempt to describe something without actually talking about it.  And by SOMETHING, I mean your mind.  Being “alone” or “lonely” just means you don’t have friends (or enemies, or just people in general) distracting you from the void that is your own soul/consciousness/mind.

“Lonely” or “bored” are both terms people use to describe the feeling of being stuck looking into the void.  The abyss.  The infinite.  Humans spend their whole lives mostly trying to distract themselves with pretty things and busy noises and sensations and pleasures, and even pain, to avoid looking into the void.

Addictions are a way to drown out the void, for sure.  Women? Definitely.  That screaming infinity in your soul is drowned out by a yapping head on top of a pair of t~~~, and for a while IT fades out.

But you will always come back to the void., as long as you are alive.  Facing it is mostly done by men, not because their voids are louder, really, because women, frankly, have far more access to distractions.

How do I make the abyss stop screaming and become tolerable for a while?  I’ve noticed balance.   Despite the fact that I can’t seem to find anything certain in this human life, I have noticed that EVERYTHING outside of us crazy apes follows an amazing rule — there is no effort.   Lifeforms are born, live, and die, with virtually no effort.  Rocks role downhill, water flows into the sea and evaporates into clouds, plants grow, die and regrow endlessly.

Is anybody telling them “GET THERE ON TIME!  FOLLOW RULES! DON’T TOUCH THAT!”  F~~~ no.  Everything that lives and dies does so without instruction, without rules, without the EFFORT we humans slog in day after day.

More incredibly, our planet circles the sun, year after year, and incredible speeds, in the same orbit, over and over.  No effort, it just happens.

And inside that orbit, the sun burns endlessly, feeding all life on earth.  No effort.  No stress.  No crying “I NEED TO BURN, BUT IT’S SO HARD DAY AFTER DAY!”   No “YOU ARE NOT BURNING BRIGHT ENOUGH!”  Our sun, the fuel of all life, happens without effort.

An entire universe of effortlessness.  And yet we humans struggle, seemingly endlessly, in this microsecond of a microsecond of cosmic time, in this millimeter within a millimeter of cosmic space.

You want to turn it off for a while?  You want to distract yourself with friends, lovers, family, drugs, alcohol, religion, philosophy?   Go ahead.  Don’t worry, it will all be effortlessly continuing on its merry way when you are done struggling.   It will be just as it was before you started.  The void does not have to try, it IS, and it is amazing and effortless and beyond your loneliness.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

I’m thinking about going to a friends in another state for a week. I think…no, I know I need this. And I don’t give a f~~~ what she thinks! You guys are right. Where the f~~~ is my self respect?!?? Tomorrow I will see the female marriage therepist for the last time as closure. In will tell her what’s going on in my marriage and I will inform her on MY MGTOW ENLIGHTENMENT!!!

[JimboParticipant 162]

PZ, dude seriously?

Okay so  I have been away from the forums for a bit busy with my hobbies and work, but seeing this man, come on.

True, we can be so blinded by love, we sometimes need to know when we are fighting a losing battle though.  I know that men these days try to stick out marriages and relationships too long and that adds to a society that already enables some pretty narcissistic women.  Let’s sum up the situation here:

-You’ve been separated six months.

-The relationship lacks sex.

-You can’t do anything right in her eyes.

-She’s going to rag you for smoking.

-She’s dictating the terms of the relationship.

-What is she contributing to the relationship?

 

Dude WHAT THE EVER-LOVING F~~~?!?  What do you have because it sure does not seem like you two have a mutual relationship.  Why do you have to apologize to her for?  First off she’s lying when she says she does not want sex, women who do that are just trying to get their providers off of their case about sex so they can bang someone else without FEELING like a slut.  What these women do not understand is that they are being incredibly unfaithful in this situation despite what their feelings tell them.  You know how I know you are providing for her?  Because she would have ended the relationship and kicked YOU out if you weren’t doing that and/or banging her.  She is probably already cheating given the relationship is sexless for you combined with the fact that she doesn’t respect you and in fact spits on you.

Relationships aren’t just sex either.  Each person should be doing their part to contribute and each person should have mutual respect for one and other.  It don’t look like the contributions are equal nor is the respect mutual.  You see women are biologically programmed to s~~~ test you.  The more they do it the more they are at the point where they are still unsure of you.  With our out of whack DV laws many men are afraid to stand up to the s~~~ tests for fear of going to jail for a crime they didn’t commit and more over society has devalued many of us to the point were we will put up with this BS knowing it is wrong.  The only way you were going to have a relationship with this type of woman is by leaving her after she started pulling this and it would be a constant having to deal with a troubled teenager relationship.  Is that what you want in life dude?

And this is not entirely her fault either, you ENABLED this when you let her stay in your life and do this to you.  I can’t tell you what to do in this situation, I don’t know how long you were married for and I can not promise you the divorce is not going to wipe you financially.  I can not promise she is not going to try to get you arrested on a phony rape or DV charge.  I can not promise you anything but getting out of your current situation.

 

Here is what I would do.  I would move out and in with a friend all together.  KEEP YOUR CONTACT WITH HER TO IDEALLY A ZERO BUT RECORD EVERY CONVERSATION YOU HAVE WITH HER SECRETLY.  GET YOUR MONEY OUT OF THE BANK.  KEEP IT IN CASH STORED IN A LOCK BOX NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT.

Second, talk to a few divorce lawyer, most offer free consultation.  Find one that will give you the best solution out of the most realistic options you have.   Draw up the divorce papers.  HAVE A WITNESS PRESENT AND RECORD YOU SERVING HER THE DIVORCE PAPAERS.  At this point one of four things will happen.  Either she will reject them to get you to stop the divorce, attempt to apologize to save the marriage there, she will reject them/act like she wants to save the marriage to get a lawyer herself and a better deal in the divorce, or she will accept them and then later on attempt to get you to change your mind.  You will have to be serious about this, drawing up divorce papers will cost you and going back on it after they have been drawn up will show your lawyer and the courts possibly that you are wasting their time and it will cause them to take you less seriously in the future.  I say this because YOU WILL SERIOUSLY BE TEMPTED TO STOP THE DIVORCE BY HER.

Third, be prepare for a large change in your life.  You will experience pain with this choice.  It will hurt.  You will question yourself.  And you will miss her.  You will have some financial hardships ahead of you.  Life has pain we all have to endure but at the end of the day we have to get through it and we grow stronger after the fact.  If you stick with it you will regain some respect for yourself, if you take the path of least resistance you will continue to lose respect for yourself and the decision will only get tougher as you go.

Fourth remember the lessons you learn in the future.  First don’t ever make that horrible mistake of marriage.  You can get the benefits of sex and some companionship by simply dating and that is much easier to get out of than a marriage, ergo, you retain much more legal power.  Second, learn when that point is to when the relationship tips and ceases to be good for you anymore, learn when to say goodbye.  Third, learn to respect yourself, if you can’t do that, there is no way anyone else will.  Fourth, find what makes YOU HAPPY outside of dating and meeting women.  Fifth, a woman disrespects you in those fashions EVER again, leave her then and cut ties.  This sends her the message that you have self-respect, you don’t need her if she isn’t going to be a positive force in your life, and you are so in demand (a trait that drives women nuts with passion).

I know you have been given a lot of great advice on this forum, we have people here who do give a damn and have a great deal of experience with these types of women.  Keymaster is a pretty straightforward guy, MG-Tower understands the nature of society, and you have a bunch of MGTOW that stick up for our fellow men when society s~~~s on them.  You are in good hands.

 

 

 

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

pZ1$ wrote:

I started smking today again.

I know you probably get told this all the time, but you probably want to find a better way to cope than smoking.  Just saying.  Transferring from some harmful bitch to a harmful plant is more of a step sideways than a step up, and might make it more difficult to put your newly freed energies somewhere more productive.

That being said, while there are probably thousands of reasons why it’s a bad idea to smoke, the approval of some bitch is not one of them, so if you must smoke, might I suggest smoking only the best tastiest smelliest cigars you can find instead of mere cigarettes?

[experiencedParticipant]

“It seems like there’s times a body gets struck down so low, there ain’t a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don’t even want to get up again. But he does.”   Gregory Peck, “The Yearling.”

“This too shall pass.”

While it’s been said, “We lie best when we lie to ourselves,”  it’s going to have to be you, in your own way, who honestly answers, “How can I prevent this from happening again?”

FYI,  4mg then 2 mg nicotine gum will get you nicotine without other bad crap.  If you need nicotine to completely emerge from this temporary tunnel, fine.

Talk with other guys, really talk with them, with no women present, nor the possibility of them meandering in/eavesdropping.  This site’s a great place for this.   Also, talking between sets at the gym.

Some of the crap other guys have gone through and successfully emerged from is figuratively unbelievable.

movies help, 3:10 To Yuma, Outland, especially old ones.

The books that you were ‘forced’ to read in school, when reread years later, it’s like, “this is great stuff.”  e.g. The Count of Monte Cristo, The Three Musketeers.

Getting your sense of humor ‘back and revving’ may take searching and listening to comedians with your outlook and timing,  Bill Burr, Mitch Hedberg,  listen enough, and you’ll start popping out funnies yourself, and even laughing at things again. And if someone can’t take a joke, eff ’em.

hope this helped.

 

“……….so he don’t even want to get up again. But he does.”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

PZ1$   Tomorrow I will see the female marriage therepist for the last time as closure.

F~~~ that idea what good will it do to talk to another female about a male problem…none

just get out

sidecar wrote:might I suggest smoking only the best tastiest smelliest cigars you can find instead of mere cigarettes?

I like that idea I stopped smoking cigs but every so often have a cigar..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

I apologize as it is late where I am and I haven’t read every response in this thread.  So please forgive me if I am being redundant in what I am about to say.

It is VERY EASY to get comfortable with the ‘ol familiar “devil”.  In a lot of our cases it is a household complete with a bitch, a broom, and a permanent holding pattern she flies in.  While it’s not pleasant to live under these circumstances, it is familiar and you pretty much know what to expect from day to day.  For whatever reason, the psychology of most people would rather face the known vs. the unknown.  In this case, the unknown is “what does life look like without her in it”.  The unknown is frightening territory.  It makes you feel isolated.  It makes you feel like nobody understands what you are experiencing.  That’s not entirely true.  You have hundreds if not thousands of men here, myself included, that know exactly how you are feeling and what you are experiencing.  Unfortunately, there’s not a quick fix for that loneliness you feel.

That loneliness is actually a lack of self-confidence that has been methodically conditioned in to your psyche by an otherwise intolerable set of circumstances and/or people/person.  The thing you have to realize first and foremost is if someone cannot add value to your life or otherwise contribute to your life in a positive manner, then you are truly better off without them in your life.  You have to realize that you have value as a unique human being.  You have to take a chance and set your sights on a new horizon.  It may sound trite but when your plan isn’t working out, then it’s time to take a deep breath, scrap your plan, and get a new direction.  It all sounds simple on paper I realize.  However, the reality is it takes time…a lot of time.  That is probably not what you want to hear but it is the gospel truth brother.  That is what you will get at this site.

You need healthy boundaries.  You need to enforce those boundaries for yourself.  Once you do that then you will start to feel better about yourself and eventually come to the understanding that you have value.  Then comes the courage to try something different.  Before you know it, your thinking becomes much more focused on yourself in a healthy way.  Treat yourself kindly and don’t be too harsh on  yourself.  I am still learning this lesson myself but my life is far better than it was just two years ago.  If you are going in a certain direction and keep beating your head against the proverbial wall then pick a different direction!  Sometimes the Universe is trying to tell you, “Hey man!  You are going the wrong way!”  Pay attention when you are not making any progress.  You may be missing something else that you should really be pursuing.  Life is full of disappointments but that is just life.  I try not to focus so much on “mistakes”.  Rather I try to view them as learning opportunities and a sign to change directions or my thinking.  Stinking thinking is a cancer that will beat your ass down hard!  The only one who can make a decision to change that is YOU!  If you are the least bit spiritual then get on your knees and pray for guidance.  The answers will come in time but be prepared that they may take you in directions you never expected.  Otherwise, speak to others who have been through this.  Get some recommendations from other red pill men on their positive coping strategies they employed.

You are lonely because you don’t know who you are outside the context of the marriage.   It’s only natural since men have been socially conditioned to identify by their roles in society.  Re-discover who you are as a human being.  Get to know yourself and understand that you are a human being deserving of dignity and respect.

Wishing you peace my man…

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[Anonymous 0]

@Soul Man

excellent post.I salute you.

This topic is running in my mind since pZ1$ posted it.
I just wanted to write something but I hesitated ’cause I couldn’t find the right words.
You made it.

Loving yourself and a high valuation of yourself as a human being will chase away loneliness.

@ pZ1$ and Soul Man
Accept this as a token of my esteem.

Carpe Noctem!!!

[pZ1$Participant 110]

I have some questions later. The questions are to review the wisdom I got here. Man, I’ve been up all night.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

EVERYONE HAS RESPONDED WITH BRILLIANT POSTS! I APPRECIATE THEM ALL!

164

[Anonymous 42]

Soul Man wrote:

For whatever reason, the psychology of most people would rather face the known vs. the unknown. In this case, the unknown is “what does life look like without her in it”. The unknown is frightening territory.

Well said SoulMan! I live to smash through fear! I found that embracing your fears and overcoming them by entering into them; you gain the experience of VICTORY! That’s right VICTORY! Without victory over your challenges, it’s impossible to become stronger.

To my surprise, and dismay, FAILURE has not happened, it only became more CHALLENGING! It’s a cycle you develop that makes you SUCCESSFUL!

 

Soul Man wrote:

The thing you have to realize first and foremost is if someone cannot add value to your life or otherwise contribute to your life in a positive manner, then you are truly better off without them in your life.

Again, well said Soul Man! I couldn’t say it better! I have a friend that trusts me to go into his garage “alone with nobody around” amongst his prize possessions valued over $400,000.00,  and doesn’t bat an eye! My friends also have access to my tools and equipment, they have a key, I have valuable possessions too, and I don’t bat an eye.

People that are the slightest bit narcissistic are immediately, and “permanently” ejected from my life. You’re with a narcissistic person, all value within her realm is based on her Imperial attitude. It’s like galvanic corrosion, She has adopted the ions of stainless steel, you’re just sacrificial aluminum destine to corrode. She’ll always be stainless, even after you’re long gone. She’s stealing your electrons! You need to combine with metals closer to YOUR imperial value. Become Pl 239 MGTOW!

Soul Man wrote:

Pay attention when you are not making any progress. You may be missing something else that you should really be pursuing.

Great advise! I’m getting the f~~~ out of real estate! like my ass is on fire! too little too late.

Anonymous wrote:

Loving yourself and a high valuation of yourself as a human being will chase away loneliness.

I don’t know lonesomeness anymore, I couldn’t be lonely if I tried! However I do know the ACHE of a broken heart, and that intolerable desire to return to the past, but not anymore! Life is too exciting, and stimulating to ever return to that STATE of mind.

She’s GONE, lost to narcissism, Try treating yourself like royalty, after what you’ve been through, you deserve it! Now put on your crown, be your own man, be King of “your” kingdom!

 

[pZ1$Participant 110]

Soul Man as for being spiritual, yes I am. I have been praying for years for direction. Sometimes things get answered that can only be characterized as almost supernatural, and I’m not kidding. But when it come to finding a new job or new direction, it’s almost non existent. It’s very frustrating! I’m not the smartest most capable guy in the world. I am trying to make the best of who I am and what I can do.

 

Right now, my wife and my relationship is down in the s~~~ heep again, just like it was months ago. She’s treating me like s~~~ and could not give a damn about me. She’s in love with her career. Everyone’s posts are awesome.

[Author]

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