Men and Loneliness?

[pZ1$Participant 110]

How does a man deal with loneliness? I know being a man means self respect and strength. But how does a man like me deal with the loneliness of knowing his wife doesn’t love him, or desire him, or that society doesn’t want to hire him? I know every man here has experienced, or is experiencing their own form of loneliness. How do you deal with it?

Thanks

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[Sam FisherParticipant 206]

By no longer boxing in and confining yourself to the bulls~~~ expectations of society and those around you. Are they waking up in your life every morning? No, you are. So who defines your success and happiness is you, and you alone. It’s important to have an idea or a plan on how to go about this, it could be some simple s~~~, man. Say… going to the gym once a week, or… getting into a hobby; motorbikes, records, video games, fishing, whatever. Apply for some simple jobs around, start up small. Just take the steps to get these things going, they may not be much, but they’re something. These small steps will then become big steps, and grow into your success – then you will exactly know yourself, and how you are as a man, because you took the initiative to fulfill your potential. It’s hard, it’s f~~~ing hard, man. I have a hard time keeping up with this s~~~, juggling between almost full-time work and completing a bulls~~~ ass degree – I’m pretty cynical about my studies, but I have the carefree attitude and positive outlook on it to just try something, apply for random s~~~, and bulls~~~ my way into something and just give it a go. I don’t have to confine myself to JUST marketing or PR… it’s just a piece of f~~~ing paper!! So I’ll just give it a shot, man, and you should give whatever it is you have going for you a shot – which is self-improvement.

So, don’t just sit there and think about what you don’t have, think about what you do have a work with it. Majestic Sequoia trees all started out as a little sprout, and over time, grew into huge mofos!

So, sit down and think about what you do have and what you can offer. Write down a plan, a simple one, and think of some small steps you can take to get things going – self-improvement (gym, meditation, etc.), hobbies, and applying for jobs – they don’t have to be big fancy positions, they can just be WHATEVER. Then once you get those things going, which mind you, could take a bit of time, then you build on what you have, and just f~~~ing grow as a person. Once that happens… it’s only up (and sometimes down) from there.

See yourself as a piece of metal being heated up by a blowtorch. At that point, your pliable, vulnerable, prone to breaking, but taking the steps and taking on the fight to better yourself and your life situation is you being dipped in oil, only to come out solid as a f~~~ing rock. Good luck.

[FrankOneParticipant 1418]

I separated from my wife about 6 months ago & I understand.  I am kind of a loner, so not as hard for me.  I lived my 20’s MGTOW and then got married at 40 after living with my wife for 10 years.

I did get a dog and she keeps me company.  I like to immerse myself in reading, exercise, and staying active.  I also work too much so that keeps me out of trouble and also keeps me from ruminating constantly about the relations~~~.  I’m also into personal development — learning new things.

I’ve been fortunate to never have employment problems but my advice is to take whatever job you can get, pay for school (preferably TRADE — even though I have a degree in Engineering I recommend young people study the trades first), and do something you enjoy and that will allow you to provide for yourself, and don’t be depressed.  It’s never too late to start over.  You can also work independently as a tradesmen or start your own business.  I’d also try doing some volunteer work.

If your wife doesn’t love or desire you then you should dissolve the marriage contract (divorce in MGTOW-speak).

[Sam FisherParticipant 206]

A good MGTOW commentator to look up is TruthOverEverything on YouTube. Down to earth guy, and I find that I have a similar hard truth, straight to the point attitude like he does, coupled with a very hyped up brand of motivation, which is why I enjoy his videos so much. He spits a lot of red pill knowledge, philosophy, and advice on self improvement and realizing your self-worth. Get onto that s~~~, my brother!

[FrankOneParticipant 1418]

Sam Fisher: I like your thoughts, and agree it’s good to occasionally take a break and engage in some diversions, whether watching Netflix, reading a good book, bowling or other adult leagues where you can socialize, sports, or other hobbies, and spend some time and reconnect with old friends and try to find mentors.  I agree about bulls~~~ societal expectations: For instance, I ignored all familial pressure to ‘wife up’ in my 20’s and to have kids.  I like children, but they aren’t for everybody & at 45 I don’t regret being childless.  Society may call that selfish, but reality is, through uninterrupted work for 25 years I’ve contributed more to raising other people’s kids via taxes and economic growth, then those who had children.

I would also recognize YOU are the agent of change, your ACTIONS determine YOUR outcomes, luck plays some role but you play the major role.  It’s never too late in life to grow.

 

 

[Anonymous 11]

We’ve all been there that’s for sure. The main thing is to get out of your comfort zone. For some the comfort zone was twenty years of marriage before divorce that made them stagnant as for me it was over devoting myself to an ingrate dog s~~~ employer that rewarded me for 11 years of loyalty by firing me for no reason right before they sold the company so that my salary would not be on the financial books when they transferred ownership. They made a little over 1 million extra dollars on the sale for themselves with that move and left me holding an empty bag. I let my whole life center around that job and spent a year being lonely until I seized control and began to rebuild. Corporations and women are damn near identical in their treachery which is why my version of MGTOW handles both of those poisonous snakes in the same manner.

CPig Hint: Never let your workplace or relations~~~/marriage be your exclusive social life.

Just one chance meeting could lead to a whole new group of friends. I once asked a guy at a restaurant bar what kind of peppers he was dropping into his soup. That that one simple question lead me into a whole new set of good friends that I’ve had for over three years now. I’ve also met a lot of good people through my favorite outdoor recreational activity.

Get out there and start talking to people. Start doing the things that you like to do. I can’t promise relief will come immediately, but it will come. If you’ve been out of the game for a while, it will seem awkward at first.

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

I know more married men that are lonely then single men, since you got out of a relationship you going to feel lonely. But after a while, that feeling with go away. Plus women in a relationship run out of things to say you after 6 months to a year. They become a statue.

Eventually you’ll say to everybody. “I’m alone, but not lonely.”

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[Anonymous 42]

@ PZ1, we’re here for you man! Cheer up! You’re still in the incubation stage of becoming your own man! Your quills will become feathers and you’ll be flying on your own! For now you’re in the right place!

My best memory in life, I was all alone! I decided to risk my life on a back country run to the top of Little Killington, the trail was an obscured hiking trail covered in 4 to 6 feet of snow, I didn’t let off on the throttle even when I went off the trail, I had one shot, and one shot only! It was invigorating!

The worst part of the run, I was on a cornice (full throttle) looking hundreds of feet down on my right, with my body on the left side of the sled, had I f~~~ed up, or backed off,  it would have meant certain death! It was getting dark and the temperatures were well below zero.

The loneliest time in my life, I was laying with a woman I fell in love with (VOMIT), I realized I, nor any man could fulfill her lonely heart.

I never felt so alone at any point in my life….

[RoyDalParticipant]

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

In other words, if you are focusing on your own goals, loneliness is not possible. Loneliness as a mental state depends on what others do and think, and these are things you can never control. Set goals, strive toward them, be your own man!

Eastwood is misquoted here, but it is a good article and it does address your concerns.
Clint Eastwood main advice to actor son: ‘be a man’
http://pagesix.com/2015/03/21/clint-eastwood-main-advice-to-actor-son-be-a-man/

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[kbbroilerParticipant 886]

Woah! A good question to ask. I was there at one time but that’s when I was looking for a woman to fill my life and make me whole. Now ask me how well do you think that went???? LOL For me, that was 25 years ago and I’ve grown since then. The secret is you really have to find yourself. That’s number one. That means where you are an individual and not someone side kick or have a side kick or tag team partner. Then focus on you. I don’t know how old you are but if you’re young what are you passionate about? Then I would channel you’re energy into that and make money. Like i said maybe you’re already rich I don’t know but that’s what I did. I’m 43 and I haven’t been lonely in over 15 years.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

I appreciate everyone’s fantastic replies! Men, the w is driving me nuts! Even when we get along in a sexless marriage, she still has a way of talking down to me, of shushing me!!! When talking about something she tells me to “stop.” STOP?????? F~~~! And why? Because I make a face! F~~~ THAT! A face? I guess a scowl F~~~ THIS! Unreal.

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[RoyDalParticipant]

@pz1$

Circumstances like yours have stretched my anger management skills beyond my breaking point. On the other hand, blowing up in the bitch’s face did seem to cool her jets for a few days.
(Verbally, not the punch and kick kind of blowing up, it should go without saying. I “never hit the girl” no matter how much the spoiled brat deserves it.)

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[нσтησσвParticipant 830]

Old married couples also get lonely, so it’s not entirely an issue for only MGTOWs.

I think that the best way to cure this loneliness is get out of the house ( as other have written; get out of your comfort zone ) and join in with some sort of community; or even start up your own community. Be it a MGTOW group or even a knitting group; whatever floats your boat 😛

I’ve found that jobs / companies are generally lacking in the community department, so you can’t wholly depend on them for fulfilling your social needs.

You can always go with the obsessive hobby route; but i believe that as to be more of a short term solution.

My Goal: To Leave Society.

[pZ1$Participant 110]

I was just talking to her in the kitchen. She was looking pretty to me. I felt rejected. She asked me to press on her back because she was feeling pain. No, she was not trying to seduce me or get me in the mood. I pressed to alleviate the ache she had. I started getting excited and pulled her a little close. But I quickly stopped! After all, I know she has no interest in a relationship with me in that way. She has made the clear to me time and time again. To think it’s going on 5 months since we have been together. What a f~~~ing shame.

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[Kurisutofa93Participant 1]

I’ve always been big into martial arts, but one person who has always inspired me was an extremely powerful and respectful Swordsman by the name of Miyamoto Musashi.

if you read his books you’ll see like all men he suffered from his own inner demons etc. He dealt with loneliness, self doubt and was hated and looked down by many. He was definitely a prime example of a MGTOW. avoided relationships and focused his life to the sword.

Before he died he wrote “The Dokkodo” which literally means “the way to go forth alone.” The Dokkodo has some guidelines which he said are important to a warrior following the path. I feel the best way to combat loneliness is to find a hobby wether it be playing an instrument, practicing a martial arts or just exercising. A

still mind only leads to problems. If you ever have a chance definitely check It out.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

The times when I felt “lonely/alone” is when I was in a relationship, making me ask myself “why am I in this relationship?”

[Anonymous 42]

Hang in there PZ, Don’t let it get to you, your freedom is on the horizon, if you look hard enough you will see our silhouettes in the glare….

[DanLimitlessParticipant 26]

Loneliness is not real. Its a concept created by society to keep you controlled and living in fear.

If you feel lonely, its because you have been told to feel that way, its not real.

 

[Cipher HighwindParticipant 1144]

The word “lonely” is defined as “sad because one has no friends or company.”

However, the word is usually used as a pejorative when it relates to females or lack thereof as it insinuates that one has…
A) no friends OR no company, and
B) sadness on account of A.

It is a tactic to put one on the defensive in that one can lose tempo by addressing said allegations, so one may upset the opponent’s strategy by gaining tempo by going on the offensive. I have made females and white knights mad on multiple occasions by saying “better lonely than to be around you.”

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Spend enough time around the right people, or rather the wrong people, and you’ll find there is a simple pleasure to being alone.

[Author]

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