Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Marital Sex and Jerking Off
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Rolling Tin Fist 3 years, 10 months ago.
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Been married for over 20 years with 3 kids…in my mid 40s. Four years ago I woke up to the fact that I was being completely manipulated and walked on. Turned over my b~~~~ years ago trying to be the “good guy” I was raised to be (told to be). Mostly, got tired of having no life other than her and my jobs. Realized I gave up everything that was important to me to make her happy. Gawd. Bascially I was a castrated douche. That’s done. Started putting my foot down, developing some friends again – very much need some men in my life, and wouldn’t listen to her constant paranoid bitching (accusations, suspicions, intuitions and drama). We’ve had the roughest 4 years filled with conflict we’ve ever had but i’m a s~~~ load happier. Fell like a man again. Ok…enough back story.
Our sex life has always been damn great. Yeah, even after 20 years. I can’t complain – we’ve had regular and pretty adventurous sex. Tried all kinds of kinky stuff. Love it. A year ago we were talking after a few drinks and she asked me if I still jerked off. I laughed and said…”Of course, regularly, always have and always will.” She got quiet. And said…”Am I not good enough?” (typical). I said “Has nothing to do with you – i really just enjoy it and honestly I don’t think it’s any of your business if I do…as long as it isn’t stopping us from having sex – and it’s clearly not.” She goes insane. Saying she thinks me stroking off is adultery. Lol. drama queen. I told her…”I think it’s weird you think that way and sorry but I won’t be discussing this topic with you.” Done.
If I find myself not married at some point down the road. Trust me bros – I will stay NOT married. And fully enjoy the single life. Fully.
Reminds me of the time I got a call from a wife frothing at the mouth chucking her husband out after catching him jerking off to internet porn.
An interesting thing happens with the cranial hamster at this point. The wife sees me (as her G.P.) and talks about a breast lump. Actually, the sick thing is they want me to validate whether their breasts are beautiful or not. Of course I don’t buy into this. I have seen this happen a few times with variations.
Happily, this man is now divorced and we had a MGTOW discussion the other day.
Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.
Interesting awakening. Welcome. In a woman’s mind, jerking off is “cheating” because women want to be able to control when, where – and with whom – you arc your glob. Consider why women hate it when men have options. It’s because she can’t get away with manipulating a man with sex. Women want to be able to cheat him OUT of it (that’s the negotiating power they are counting on) but when YOU decide when and how you get off, they start having a real problem with it. Control freaks in the extreme. Every one of them.
There is only one BEST response to her over-dramatization which requires no further explanation from you:
“My body. My choice.”
That’s all you need to say to her, and go about your day. No woman (not even your wife) gets to have a problem with that, because that’s what they keep trying to tell US. The female argument(s) are so weak, all you need to do to defat them is hold a mirror up to them…… and then you’ll notice, they REALLY don’t like what they see (and hear).
“Am I not good enough?”
That’s an interesting question in itself. Considering a man can achieve orgasm by a woman just laying there, one wonders how she can flatter herself like that. (I am not speaking of her, specifically, but rather all women who flatter themselves by thinking they are “good in bed”). Does a toilet have to be any “good” for a man to be able to successfully take a dump?
Men have to be “good” for a woman to get off.
But a woman can just get on all fours, put her ass in the air and not move until he’s done.Perhaps the next time it “cums up”, you will put this into perspective for her and then she should stop giving you grief about it.
Gratz on arriving at your own stream of consciousness.
Welcome, and thanks for joining!If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.If you were giving her the brush-off then I could see why she’d be upset, but if you guys are still doing the deed and enjoying it she should just keep her mouth shut (or open, depending on the situation ;).
The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.I remember my ex(21 years old, me 31 at the time) caught me “playing” with myself one morning. Actually I had morning wood. She had never been in a relationship with a man long enough (or didn’t live with the man, as she lived with me) to experience this.
She browbeat me for over an hour, as when I woke up I rolled over and “readjusted” myself to feel more comfortable. I explained to her the concept but she didn’t believe me. This was back in 2005( didn’t have Google) so I had to actually had to go to the library to prove what I told her was true. Notwithstanding the fact I was 10 years older than her, I almost thought she was smart enough to believe me.
After finding out the truth( after I went into the bathroom and p~~~ed my brains out thereby removing the wood) she said, “Oh, Ok.”
No apology, no “I’m sorry for bitching you out”. Nothing.
Even young chicks I tell this story to, laugh about it.
No apology, no “I’m sorry for bitching you out”. Nothing.
I swear it is absolutely true…… women are never bratty, bitchy, nagging c~~~s to themselves.
Just to other people.
A woman tried that s~~~ on me once too. Interesting you used the word “caught”. She “caught” me.
“I CAUGHT YOU!!!” she said
You CAUGHT me?
Women LOVE that word.
• “I caught him looking at me”
• “I caught him trying to look at me” (I actually heard a woman say that out loud more than once)
• “I caught him playing with himself while I was in the next room”…. and my personal favorite……
• “I caught him looking at another woman.”
(there is no limit to their insanity)…. as if whatever you were doing is some kind of crime. F~~~ing INSANE when they try to use that word. As if you need her permission to LOOK at something or someone else. It boggles the mind, really. Nuke her on the spot. NO. you didn’t “catch” me looking. I looked ON PURPOSE and will keep doing it whenever I so damn well please, you f~~~ing mentally-sick control freak.
The kind of women who have a *PROBLEM* with your morning wood – or what you decide to do about it…. must be ejected on the spot and it should be pointed out to them directly just what kind of insane control freaks they actually are. I mean it. F~~~in’ hell.
What the f~~~ was I supposed to do sweetheart? MOUNT you while you were sleeping? What exactly do you have a problem with? And now with California’s new “yes means yes” law, I need you to be fully awake and coherent enough to sign a legal agreement that it’s OK for me to make a deposit in The Bank of American Vagina and you have to provide written consent because you’re a childish c~~~ who can’t even consent without it.
So quiet frankly, I prefer to arc my glob without you, because you’re NOT WORTH IT anymore. Get out.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Freedom is like a drug. It’s addicting. I’m addicted to it.
Be wary of the ‘family’ courts.
Fuck this planet.Very interesting to read your thoughts here. Great insights men. She has become so used to me initiating that when I stop (sometimes just to see how long she’d go) things get quite tense. She starts having suspicious thoughts and completely withdrawals. Quite cold acting actually. Up until this past year I’d have pursued her but i’m tired of doing all the work.. Nice to be pursued don’t you think? So our sex life only recently has been infrequent. But my JO habits continue as they always have. I have no plans on changing that. Too enjoyable and some things simply don’t need to be about her. Even when it comes to my c~~~.
Question…
I’ve been reading about the “Alpha” male techniques when dealing with women – some of it I agree with. What I’m confused about is that the primary goal seems in conflict with the main philosophy. Seem the Alpha’s define themselves by their ability to bed a woman. So in this regard – she validates his Alpha-ness. In short, he NEEDS her for him to be Alpha. Again this seems a contradiction.
And if anyone knows of some great information on this type of thing for us married men – i’d appreciate it. I’m convinced though my eyes have been opened – I’m confident I’m being manipulated in ways I have no clue about. Pathetic.
She has become so used to me initiating that when I stop (sometimes just to see how long she’d go) things get quite tense. She starts having suspicious thoughts and completely withdrawals. Quite cold acting actually.
A woman is like one of those knife-sharpening wheels with a foot pedal. As long as you keep making the effort and pumping your foot, something happens — and you may even see sparks! But when you ease back (even a little) and stop pumping with your foot, nothing happens. She just kinda sits there… and gets “cold”. That’s when they start complaining because you’re not doing all the work.
So I know exactly what you mean.
They are wired to RESPOND.
Question…Seem the Alpha’s define themselves by their ability to bed a woman. So in this regard – she validates his Alpha-ness. In short, he NEEDS her for him to be Alpha. Again this seems a contradiction.
You are on to something there. Watch /video/deconstructing-game/
It talks about men who’s “Alpha” persona will never actually be the dark-mained lion. Great video.“Alpha” – true “alpha” – is more like…. Godzilla. King Kong. Pay close attention to their characters. They didn’t need mates to validate their existence. They are very humame, warm and GOOD creatures. They were only as aggressive as they needed to be to protect themselves. There is no female validating either or their existences – or plotting their courses. They literally “went their own way”. This occurred to me in the recent Godzilla 2014 movie when he defeated the other male “alpha” obsessed with breeding who Godzilla battled with for 2 hours. At the end, The humans watched him just take off into the sea on his own. He just wanted to be left alone in peace.
I smiled when I saw it. I actually thought…
OMG. Godzilla is a f~~~ing MGTOW!The movie was – literally – about the difference between a PUA “alpha” and the alpha MGTOW.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.“The movie was – literally – about the difference between a PUA “alpha” and the alpha MGTOW.”
The above paragraph about Godzilla / King Kong made perfect sense…great example. Very helpful.
There is a very real need for these principles to applied to marital life. Most of it is geared toward single men. I’m one man who is learning, mostly through mistakes and some serious s~~~ fights with my wife, to “go my own way” without divorcing or isolating myself from my wife. I had to – I was being smothered, isolated and controlled. I didn’t like the man I had become and decided to make a change.
I’m telling you…some days I can totally understand the concept of two men living together as opposed to a man and a woman. We are so vastly different in every way…it’s a wonder the species as survived. For example (as it relates to this topic) IF my wife, out of the blue, ever told me she masturbated I’d get completely turned on. If I came home and saw her fingering herself to some crazy porn…i’d go nuts and not only join her – but she’d have to stop and let me drill her. I’d never find it contradictory to our sex life – I find it hot she was being sexual. I find it arousing that she was enjoying her vagina – it could use some good old fashioned fingering i’m sure. I find it healthy and amazingly sensual.
Truth is she’s probably doing it but not telling me. At least I hops she is.
Of course they do it! And in my experience they do it more than men. I went through the same experience with my ex(never married the C~~~, but I have a kid with her). 18 yrs. ago she pulled this s~~~ with me. It’s when I first figured out she had some deep rooted “Man” issues. Meanwhile, the whole time, I’m busting my ass to try and make a dollar, She’s home, hungover, playing with her pussy. Constantly!
Remember this: When women masturbate, they think of another man, time, place, etc. Because of this, they know men are doing the same (that is, thinking of another women, time, place, etc.) This, they cannot handle!
There is a very real need for these principles to applied to marital life. Most of it is geared toward single men. I’m one man who is learning, mostly through mistakes and some serious s~~~ fights with my wife, to “go my own way” without divorcing or isolating myself from my wife. I had to – I was being smothered, isolated and controlled. I didn’t like the man I had become and decided to make a change.
I can’t believe you are able to do that while married… without your wife throwing a s~~~ fit.
Using “American Beauty” as an example, guys don’t just flip on a dime, and get their groove back, while the wife just accepts it.I’m telling you…some days I can totally understand the concept of two men living together as opposed to a man and a woman.
I remain eternally convinced “god” is laughing his sick f~~~ing ass off. He created two nearly identical creatures. Gave one a penis and gave another a vagina. In every way, it’s a perfect fit.
Then, he TOTALLY botched up the wiring and programming on purpose — JUST to f~~~ us up.
Women enjoy the benefits early in life. Men enjoy the benefits later in life.
Sex 100% takes place purely in her MIND. Sex 100% takes place in your crotch.
She can’t f~~~ without some bonding. You CAN f~~~ without bonding.
Women are cats. Men are dogs…. and on the 7th day, he put them in the same room together and said, “GO! Kill each other”.He made a woman in every way designed to enhance our existence,
while making her totally impossible to live with.…. and he hasn’t stopped laughing since.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Ok this is just too perfect. Seriouly, you’ll think I’m making this up. I swear on my life I’m not.
So last night…
Things have still been pretty damn “tame” – meaning, nice, cordial (how weird that is in a marriage), and low key. Also you can read that as – no sex. lol This is one of the longest stents we’ve ever had. It’s been a month. The longest happened about 2 months back and it was 2.5 months. Before this – we’ve f~~~ed like rabbits regularly. At the latest – once a week. Anyway. I’m just sick of it all being so f~~~ing dependent upon me. So here we are. If you’ve read the above posts you’ll have a bit more history.
I go to be pretty early – was legit tired. Also, had a few beers and was just not in the mood to deal with family – all of which is from the female perspective so I go to bed. Watch a bit of TV…hit the lights and I’m out. Like dog tired out. Don’t even remember falling asleep.
Until…
Not even sure what time it was.
I’m laying on my side facing my wall. As normal. I wake up to what feels like a lot of movement next to me. I’m laying there awake without her knowing i’m up. She’s moving…a lot. Suddenly it’s like getting oddly intense. She’s definitely into it. The bed is more than bouncing. It’s clear…she’s getting herself off. I’m laying thinking…”Is this happening?” She’s done it before and i’ve always woke up and joined in – drilling her into next week it’s such a turn on. Things get crazy…she’s like bouncing the bed and i realize she has her dildo as well. She’ making sucking noises…bumping up against me and I’m getting harder and hornier by the second – she’s still thinking i’m asleep.
I had a choice to make. I made one and i’m not sure I made the right one. Though my gut says i did. Here were my choices…
1. Continue to act asleep, enjoy the f~~~ing sexiness of it, but let her just do her deed.
2. Pretend to wake up and then join in on the fun
3. Get up and leave not saying a word but it being obvious i know what she’s doing…go find the couch to sleep on. Possibly say some smart ass comment as i walk out.
What did i do? I did option #1. God was I hard hearing all that was happening right next to me. Mentally picturing every second of it. I know I had leaked a ton. lol S~~~ it was hot. But i also know this. It was too damn obvious she was trying (on purpose) to wake me up. Which actually p~~~es me off. If you want to have sex with me – grow the f~~~ up and tell me. Let me know. Initiate. But no…i get this stupid ass game. Had she fingered herself calmly…trying to NOT wake me up? Being more still…it would have felt legit. But trust me this was retardedly overt. (F~~~ing hot i might add). So i’m certain (and this is what killed my boner) it was to prove something or to communicate something or to prove something to me. Some point she was wanting to make…to make me feel bad or what the f~~~ ever. The only other legit option in my mind was #3. And I came “this” close to making some hilariously smart ass remark as I left the bedroom but would have sounded like some “scorned” bitch. SO I didn’t. I just gave her NO PLEASURE at all in knowing I kinew. I just pretended to be asleep…smiling the entire time. lol I think i did the MGTOW way…but not sure.
Thoughts?
Thanks for reminding me why I don’t put up with this passive-agressive crap.
Don’t reward women with dick unless they do something for you. She wants to masturbate? F~~~ing let her. Look at all the energy she is putting into herself and doesn’t give a damn about the man laying next to her? Its’ not the way to get attention. I’ve been there. She will shake the bed, masturbate, and use a dildo on herself before touching you? She gets ignored for that. And the next time she wants me to f~~~ her, the answer will be no. Or she gets dumped because this is not the kind of s~~~ I want in my personal life.
I went out with a GF for dinner one night. I paid. When we came home I watched TV/Movie , and then I went to bed. The next morning she tells me she was hoping for some sexy time (read: felt rejected).
I said “What? I’m not gonna take you out and pay for dinner … AND care about your orgasm. If you had cooked ME dinner, then I would have wanted to f~~~ you.”
Don’t reward women with dick unless they do something for you.
She can dildo herself into f~~~ing oblivion for all I care.I had a choice to make. I made one and i’m not sure I made the right one. Though my gut says i did.
You decide which is the right one. It’s not up to her.
If she is not touching YOU when she wants to be touched, then your decisions don’t depend on her either.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.How about this reply?
It’s a man thing. Men must release their loads regularly so they can last longer.
Without regular release and I will spill it in minutes..
I jerk off so I can last long enough to satisfy you babe.
Recently we have noticed a mini-explosion in married men finding a calling in MGTOW, in our emails, contacts, comments, and among our members. One of our other members “Zubertai” dropped this video by Barbarossa as something you might find interesting and offers his insight on this. His breakdowns are excellent and has positive things to say about it!
I hope you enjoy it and find some value in it. Cheers!
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.@vurrich. Its’ good. Very good.
But…..
1. it’s not true.
2. it communicates even when he’s pleasuring himself, he’s doing it for her? Keeping your woman constantly aware that YOU decide when you arc your glob will keep her in check and continually plant an ever so slight seed of doubt …. reminding her SHE is expected to perform and be a turn on – else his hand will accomplish the same thing. Letting her know that you’re wanking “to satisfy HER” means she will sit back with a smug look on her face knowing when he retreats to wank she now gets to have higher expectations from him AFTER he shot his wad?
It would backfire on him. He jerks off and when he’s done she says “OK big stud, now f~~~ me better than you did yesterday!”.
Bad idea. Let her remain a little insecure about what the implications are.
Make HER perform and initiate better.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.There is no way to not make this sound gay, you could but it takes the fun out of saying it. If a woman asks you why you still jack it look her dead in the eyes and say
“No woman on this Earth will every be able to work the shaft better then me.”
Then sit back and enjoy the reaction. Extra points if you can say it without busting out laughing or smiling.
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