Looking Back On Life…

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2747]

Autolite wrote:

What I would have wanted to hear from him was the truth about people, women and life in general. Things like financial planning, how to deal with people and relationshhits I had to figure out all on my own. Dad didn’t seem to have a real handle on any of it so I was never prepared for how the world really works. And being somewhat naive myself I would (far too often) heed his lame advice.

From your comments, I gather you are not a father?

I say that because no one hands you a manual when your kid is born. You have to figure it out as you go making as many mistakes as correct decisions. Your father is no exception.

It is only now that my children are grown and out of the house that I can fully appreciate what I did right and where I could have done better.

I swore as a child I would be a better dad than mine . . . Not so sure I succeeded.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[AutoliteParticipant]

CPT Obvious wrote:

From your comments, I gather you are not a father?

No. I’ve never been a father. But on my own I had to learn things about adult life that my father didn’t seem to have a handle on. I just can’t figure out how he could have missed such stuff…

[EGParticipant 1879]

Autolite wrote:

And being somewhat naive myself I would (far too often) heed his lame advice.

Incidentally the blue pill is made up of naivete. That, or lies.

[StealthParticipant 5360]

Sky-O, did you make out with your CPS lady?

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[bladeParticipant]

Looking back on life . Everything happens for a reason and has made me who i am today . Nfg

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Sky-OParticipant 18949]

NEVER SURRENDER

[Sky-OParticipant 18949]

Stealth wrote:

Sky-O, did you make out with your CPS lady?

Seven years later when I was 19, and more out of control (and p~~~ed off at the world) than ever, I was still in New York, going from job to job, no direction, no family there and on a crash course of self destruction.

Got into a fight outside of a convenience store in Maspeth (neighborhood in Queens) and came close to killing the guy.

Wound up on Rikers Island. Called my grandmother who lived in Florida at that point and was far too old to deal with the adult version of me at the time. But she got an attorney for me in NY.

And I needed one. LOL Felony assault (2nd degree) •Note: It worked out well in the end. The guy I pummeled had some legal issues months later before my trial and the prosecutor for my case called my attorney with a deal that would avoid a trial since his assault victim was in jail in another state. I got to plead guilty to misdemeanor assault with credit for time served which was the 26 days on Riker’s that preceded my second bail hearing. I was denied bail at the first one.

Anyway: Back to my CPS chick and how everything worked out. I didn’t have that attorney at my first bail hearing. Once my grandmother paid him and he had my case, he got another bail hearing. And he wanted to argue that I had a rough life, get really historical on things and plead that I should at least be out, pending trial.

He compiled a bunch of stuff and wanted as much background as possible. Eventually, requesting my CPS records from a few years prior. And she still worked there. She was the one that actually had to track down my old paperwork and authorize it being given to my attorney. And I didn’t realize it at the time.

Until a Monday morning in jail when a guard yelled at me in my cell that I had a visitor and I knew that it wasn’t even an actual visitor time. Only lawyers or someone with the state could have got in and a time to visit on that day.

I was brought to the visitor area and walked up to the comm-phone and there she was on the other side of the glass. LOL

Fighting back a couple of tears too.

We had alot to talk about and the guard let us talk longer than the normal 15 minutes.

Reunited after all that time.

She even came to my bail hearing with my attorney & they got me out until my trial date.

And I had a place to stay before my trial date since having a normal residence was one of the terms of my conditional release.

Like I said in my prior post. It’s hard to admit but she became the prototype of what I was attracted to as the years went by after those few months with her. I was 19, and she was 35 at that point. And it was on 24/7 from the first night. That entire experience might have even been the foundation for what became my blue pill era in the years that followed. It broke what was left of my heart when I had to bail on that situation months later.

I’ve had a f•cked up life that has been less than normal and really warped since inception but I don’t regret any of it.

[In closing – On a sidenote: That was a long time ago, but it must be said. That experience is the reason why I’ve never felt the type of anger, rage and hatred towards ‘women’ that I have witnessed in the world and online and why I could never feel that. Regardless of what most women are like. I’ve seen and experienced darkness and evil during my blue pill era. But I have also been touched by light]

[EGParticipant 1879]

Sky-O wrote:

I was brought to the visitor area and walked up to the comm-phone and there she was on the other side of the glass. LOL

Fighting back a couple of tears too.

We had alot to talk about and the guard let us talk longer than the normal 15 minutes.

Reunited after all that time.

She even came to my bail hearing with my attorney & they got me out until my trial date.

A while ago I started a thread asking if there is such thing as a female ally. Stories like this are why I asked.

[Anonymous 3]

I once had a question about the soul/spirit/whatever. Why would something that is free choses to be bounded to a body in this world of pain and suffering?

The answer I came up was that it was an “experience”, similar to a video game. And we dont get video games of peaceful happy bland non-eventful themes. The keyword is DRAMA, effort, pleasure, pain, rage, love, and death.

Why not? In the human context everything is traumatic and definitive, you lose an arm and its not growing back. Scars are usually permanent, including the emotional ones. And death is the end of the human experience.

But in the context of an immortal would/spirit/divine spark, then nothing is permanent, it‘s all “experience”. And just like a video game, when you lose that life you go “wow, that was great, lets try this again”.

This is not exactly usefull to know. If one takes this idea seriously, that one takes nothing seriously. That is why many holly men dont actually live.

But fortunately knowing is not the same as realizing. My father could give me a lot of red pills, I would know them but either didn’t care, didn’t believe, or simply didn’t apply. In retrospective my father did give me red pills, like:”a man is born alone, lives alone and dies alone”.

Thus I think we all need to experience life, and there is little that we learn without that experience. To fall, to fail, to get beaten is how we learn. When everything works great we learn nothing. When knowledge is handed for free, without a price, we learn nothing.

Sky-o is right, its falling down and getting back up that makes us men. Only lucky children can go throughout their days sheltered, protected and impervious to suffering… for the most part…

[AutoliteParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Sky-o is right, its falling down and getting back up that makes us men. Only lucky children can go throughout their days sheltered, protected and impervious to suffering… for the most part…

If not constantly having to deal with life’s phuck-ups makes me ‘less of a man’ I think perhaps that could be something I just might be able to learn to live with… 😀

[Anonymous 3]

Autolite wrote:

If not constantly having to deal with life’s phuck-ups makes me ‘less of a man’ I think perhaps that could be something I just might be able to learn to live with… 😀

True.

But my take is not that kids are happier that adults, in fact their lives are full of DRAMA, lots of small ups and downs that they care to much. The ups are good, so we remember how special was that chocolate we liked. But the downs are bad, like going to the store and not having the chocolate.

Adults are more tolerant, they suffer a lot less about the small things, but in contrast have major problems.

I was not trying to use shamming language by talking about men and children. I was addressing endurance, stoicism or simple acceptance that makes life a lot easier.

There is this quoteI remembered from the “THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F~~~“:

When we’re young, we have tons of energy. Everything is new and exciting. And everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of f~~~s. We give a f~~~ about everything and everyone — about what people are saying about us, about whether that cute boy/girl called us back or not, about whether our socks match or not or what color our birthday balloon is.

As we get older, we gain experience and begin to notice that most of these things have little lasting impact on our lives. Those people’s opinions we cared about so much before have long been removed from our lives. We realize how little people pay attention to the superficial details about us and we focus on doing things more for ourselves rather than for others.

Essentially, we become more selective about the f~~~s we’re willing to give. This is something called ‘maturity.’

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2747]

Autolite wrote:

If not constantly having to deal with life’s phuck-ups makes me ‘less of a man’ I think perhaps that could be something I just might be able to learn to live with…

It is quite the opposite. People who have had a trouble-free and/or privileged life are pretty shallow. The most interesting people I know are those who have been through some rough sh!t. Saw it in the military a lot. Tribulations are the refiners fire. The crap you have been through really can build character. Instead of resenting it, embrace it.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[BeerParticipant 11832]

Autolite wrote:

Life rarely turns out as hoped despite our very best efforts. I am asking how you other guys deal with this? How do you all cope with life’s failure? What are your thoughts???

Strangely, most of my failures turned into successes. If I was successful at everything I did in life I’d have gotten married earlier in life and have ended up down a career path where I’d be making probably half of what I’m making now. Its easy to play the “what if” game with yourself, but sometimes you just got to appreciate what you have now and not forget about all the “what ifs” that didn’t work out that looking back at 5, 10, 20 years later you realize is just a bullet dodged.

Just for example there was a period of time when I regretted things not working out with a girl I was seeing my senior year of high school. Last time I saw her she was 200+ lbs with a kid and no ring on her finger, and I had since seen her name in the local police logs for a domestic assault. 18 year old me thought I really f~~~ed that one up as back then she had amazing t~~~ and a nice ass. 35 year old me knows it was a bullet dodged, otherwise I’d be the guy dealing with that violent fat cow.

[shovelheadriderParticipant 2400]

My Father was a pilot and a POW. My mother was a good looking bitch that burned through 3 husbands by the time she was 40. I saw how she treated the good men in her life.
I saw how the fathers of my freinds were. The sacrificed everything for others. There wer some times when wife was not around,thy would light up and talked about how cool they were when they were single to us boys.I never wanted to be a child. I wanted to have my own place, sports cars and Harleys. I had a next door neighbor that worked on tugboats on the Mississippi river. I knew others that quit school to Join the union and go to sea or work on a Shrimp boat. They came back with pockets full of money. What every you wanted you could catch a boat and not get off until you had enough to pay cash for a Corvette off the show room.That is exactly what i did.
I had a girl friend That I loved. Her Dad was a Col in the Air Force. Her dad caught her step mom in bed with the base commander. He put in for a transfer and got Pakastan. I had to marry her or she had to move to her mother in Ogden, Ut.
I just graduated and she was going to be a senior in H.S. In those days you got married ,not move in as it was called shacking up. Love is one thing .Marring a 16 y/o at 18 was something I was not ready for.
I look back at my life and it was so much better than Than my wildest dreams. There were some women that I almost married. I have done some stupid things I am addicted fun, there are a lot of fun things out there and a lot of it does not cost a lot of money.
I am a retired boat captain.If I was still working I would make between $160k and $200k. There things that kept from marring.!) I was not going to have a hot chick in my house,where may paycheck came when i was gone. 2)I would see what other captains old lady would be doing while they were gone.3) I knew some guys that had a ex few wives that got all his money. Some would have to work all the time.They would sat in flea bag hotel when off. I am happy today. Things turned out how they suppose to. I have been gone most of my life for months at a time sailed all over the world. I like to stay nowI been there,got ,done that , the Tee shirt.I learned young the things that made me happy. I can never saw that I ever had a women that made my life better because she was in it.people say I am Lucky. I had a plan at a young age. I worked hard in a dangerous profession.the hared you work the luckier you get

[AutoliteParticipant]

shovelheadrider wrote:

I worked hard in a dangerous profession.the hared you work the luckier you get

Many men have spent a lifetime of hard work yet end up with nothing. I’ve worked hard, several years working two jobs seven days a week. Aircraft mechanic throughout the week. Automotive mechanic on the weekends. But my rare and few successes in life I will attribute mostly to luck. I’m not ashamed to admit that…

[Anonymous 3]

Autolite wrote:

Many men have spent a lifetime of hard work yet end up with nothing. I’ve worked hard, several years working two jobs seven days a week, but my rare and few successes I will attribute mostly to luck. I’m not ashamed to admit that…

There is this phrase I got from a general: “luck is a lot of work”.

While its true that some positive events are random, most situations need a conscious setup. Working hard by itself gives you nothing, working hard with an objective in mind, however, might get you somewhere.

As an example, if you work hard for a jealous supervisor then you will get nothing. In fact the better you do things, the worst the situation gets. The solution would be to work as any other average college, giving him nothing to point out. Then you find a way to excel in something outside his influence, and spend your efforts there.

So, working smart outperforms simply working hard.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

my daily meditation today said, “There is the urge to struggle, present in all of us” And then it expounded on that.

We forge our values and identity through struggling. Not that we want to go on struggling… strong in the broken places

[RealityBitesParticipant 2198]

We are the sum total of our experiences….
I look back on my life…think of the mistakes I made and regretted….but then I realize that if I went back in time and didn’t make those mistakes I wouldn’t be who I am today.
My mistakes have helped me improve my character…even though some of them have been foolish and expensive.
The worst thing is NOT learning from your mistakes.
And sometimes there are situations in which you are going to lose no matter what you do: even if you chose to do nothing.

There was a phase in my life where I kicked myself for not asking a girl out…and I kicked myself for years over it…and then later on…my perspective completely changed:
I realized that what I had previously thought was an enormous mistake…was actually (although unintentionally)…the best possible choice I could have made for myself.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

So, working smart outperforms simply working hard.

IMO success in life is a combination of 1.5% hard work and smarts and 98.5% luck. Brains and working yourself to death will get you nowhere unless it’s coupled with a few lucky breaks…

[AutoliteParticipant]

RealityBites wrote:

There was a phase in my life where I kicked myself for not asking a girl out…and I kicked myself for years over it…and then later on…my perspective completely changed:
I realized that what I had previously thought was an enormous mistake…was actually (although unintentionally)…the best possible choice I could have made for myself.

There isn’t a single exGF that I would want to be with today. And it was just dumb phucking luck that I never got any of them pregnant…

[Author]

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