Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Looking Back On Life…
This topic contains 249 replies, has 31 voices, and was last updated by 
Gravel Pit 5 months ago.
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Lately I’ve been looking back on my life and it’s been playing on my mind all the mistakes that I’ve made and the future challenges that those mistakes present. I try and reconcile it all by accepting that life is about 98.5% failure and those rare successes are pretty much due to sheer luck. It seems that hard work, diligence and smarts have little effect on our success in life if the ‘luck’ factor just isn’t there.
I’ve also been reflecting on the things that my father should’ve taught me but didn’t. Things that a grown adult should have known and pass on but he did not. Things I’ve had to figure out for myself, almost always after the damage had already been done. We really need to be afforded two lifetimes. It takes one entire lifetime just to figure it all out. By the time you realize what you should have done, it’s too late in life or it’s just impossible to fix it.
Life rarely turns out as hoped despite our very best efforts. I am asking how you other guys deal with this? How do you all cope with life’s failure? What are your thoughts???
I view it as neither failure nor success.
It just is.
I didn’t ask for life to kick me in the teeth.
But it did.
Now I’m wide awake.
I feel better for being awake.
I’m much stronger and actually happier than before, now that I know the score.
There is NO wisdom in signing a contract with someone who benefits from breaking it. - http://mengtow.freeforums.net/
I view it as neither failure nor success.
I understand that there are many things in life that we can do nothing about. But I’m talking about mistakes that could have been prevented had we been told about the pitfalls and hazards. Things that we should have been warned about or cautioned against but we weren’t. And things that we should have been able to figure out for ourselves had we been more ‘on the ball’.
I see these as failures. I’ve also failed when I trusted luck instead of my ‘gut feelings’. The lesson here for young guys is to ‘learn to trust your gut’. Optimism will phuck you. Learn to trust your gut and act on that….
I know what you mean Bro,
The fact I didn’t know most women are c*nts is on them, not me.
I won’t kick myself for finding out the hard way.
Sure, I’d love to know what I know now but be 20 again.
Learning the hard way and f..cking up is not failure, it’s learning.
We weren’t warned about s~~~ and had to find out ourselves, I don’t see failure, I see learning and moving on with better knowledge.
Having said all that, I’d still love to go back in time and tell the b*tch to go f*ck herself 😂
There is NO wisdom in signing a contract with someone who benefits from breaking it. - http://mengtow.freeforums.net/
One thing about life that they need to tell you is that it is a live game from day one and the only game that counts. Withdraw from the game and you are losing.
No one wins every battle. Its about coming out on top more than underneath and setting the next generation a little further ahead than you were set. that’s all that really matters. You can be dealt a bum hand and if you do well enough to set the next generation up better then you are a bigger winner than the man had a great start and who p~~~es it all away.
We all make mistakes and when its too late to fix them or have another go, then we had better just make the best of what is left.
Yeah and when it comes to women lying and cheating, your gut is always right in my experience. Optimism is never right in these cases. Past the early stages of a relationship, you would not be thinking “Is she cheating, can I trust her with my money or whatever unless you already know you can’t trust her.
A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own
hindsight is 20 20
yet, depending on how deep you understand reality … could we have really chosen otherwise? or are we compelled to follow the motions that are presented to us? What do we really control?
It seems to me, that life is Occuring to us, rather than we occuring to life. Choices are illusions.
When you look back on it. You were presented with Choice A or Choice B. The consequences of either were totally dark to you. You thought you have free agency. Yet the path you ultimately went down was no more open to choice than mathematical facts. It was dark to you, but if we had had a giant computer with all known variables entered, your “decision” was no more mysterious or voluntary than Determined nature of all energy and matter…of which we are inextricably part of.
No regret, no guilt, no shame, no hate, no worries, Faith in the blind, assured of the Path
I hate looking back on things. You can’t change the past;however, you can learn from it.
Remember the past
LIVE the present
Look forward to the futureMarry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)
Alright Autolite.
You apparently need an injection of Sky-0 perspective and insight.
First: ‘the things that my father should have taught me’
Way to act like a little b•tch this morning.
FYI – My father left when I was a year old. My mother was BPD (borderline) and addicted to prescription pills including Valium. I briefly had two step fathers at different points in time. The first one threw me into walls, down a flight of stairs once and beat the hell out of me between the age of 8-10 years old. The second one was a drunk. When I was 12, I heard him and my mother arguing upstairs followed by silence. I ran upstairs to see what happened and the bedroom door was locked (still quiet inside) and I ran into it (MDF type material) and got through. My mother was on the floor and he was on top of her holding a pillow over her head. I jumped on his back, punching him in his head repeatedly and got him off. Then I ran to a neighbor’s house and they called 911. I was taken away by the police and questioned all night. Then returned to my mother. Her husband was in jail that morning and as soon as she got me home, she started screaming that he wouldn’t be able to go to work and pay the mortgage because he was in jail and she accused me of being the reason he got arrested. Then she proceeded to beat the sh*t out of me. Constantly punching my head, eventually grabbing a clock radio that was plugged into a wall and pounding it into my head. I knew I had to get out but was 12 years old, and on Long Island, NY and the only refuge I had was going to my grandmother’s in Queens, NY.
I ran into my room and grabbed a backpack that I had my emergency check out stuff in (you need one when you have a childhood like mine) and I kept a roll of quarters and a few dollars in it.
I ran out of the house with her still hitting me and kept running towards a train station for an express train that ran from Patchogue, NY to Queens, NY – and stopped at one point to call my grandmother from a pay phone. While crying. I had to ask her what the name of the stop was in Queens so I wouldn’t miss it on the train.
Then I continued walking towards the train station, until a police car pulled up and the officer got out and stopped me. Then another car pulled up and they were asking me my name and where I lived,etc. Then told me they got a call from someone that saw me walking with my backpack.
Because I had blood on the side of my head and my shirt. (I was so panicked and in flight mode that I did not realize it)
I was taken in and turned over to Child Protective Services (which you do not want to happen in New York) and they interrogated me for hours. And eventually their system made a link to the incident the previous night and related stuff.
They didn’t have anywhere to put me the first week but one of the CPS chicks that was about 28 years old and single agreed to take me in. And I was ok with that because she lived in Elmhurst, NY which was only 20 minutes from my grandmother’s apartment and it would facilitate my escape more efficiently. They said I couldn’t stay with her because she was too old.
Continuing after I plug my phone in:
. . .
. . .Continuing:
That first week resulted in me experiencing the first time I ever knew any empathy or compassion from a woman in any way. I almost felt guilty, knowing that I was simultaneously planning my breakout.
The events following that first week were tragic. I busted out right on schedule, made it to my grandmother’s apartment. Had sanctuary there for over a week then there was a knock on the door and it was CPS, with two tactical type guys as back up for when I tried closing the door. They gave my grandmother court papers and said they had to take me and I fought off the two goons as much as I could before they carried me away.
When they got me back to their office, the worker that had taken me in, walked into the room yelling at me, telling me that I made her look bad and caused problems, claimed she was ‘scared to death’ that something happened to me and that I liked to her and was foolish and wouldn’t be able to stay with her. I saw real rage and contempt in her eyes. It was a shocking contrast from the first week we spent together.
I will admit this now: Indirectly, on a subconscious level, she became the prototype for the type of women I was attracted to during my blue pill era. And that moment was not the end of knowing each other. She was given my case file that day. And she found a foster home for me but stayed in the perimeter and invested in my situation for months after that and beyond. (More to follow on that later)
Anyway. Got placed in a foster home with a psychotic woman and her older husband where five other kids were. And I had to sleep on the floor in a room that didn’t have an available bed. Operation: Freedom Pt.II was being planned and I executed it flawlessly when the time came. Literally two days before summer was over and school was about to start.
I was more careful that time and the skills I learned have served me well to this day. I had a few buddies in NY from where I had previously attended a Catholic school. And my buddies all had first generation Irish immigrant parents. The kind that came from Ireland, without anything, poor and had to work hard and good people. I bolted from foster care, and sought refuge at their houses where I was well fed, allowed to stay and they were not going to call CPS. Kept moving constantly, about a week at a time.
Eventually got a paper route where I had a canvas bag over my shoulders and primarily brought newspapers to convienence stores, about 20-30 on each drop so it was efficient. And I enjoyed my life and my freedom, especially at that age. Storing comic books in my backpack. Doing whatever I wanted. Always having one of numerous safe house to regroup at.
And it set the stage for who and what I was destined to become later in life as a man. In the absence of a father or anyone for that matter, attempting to shape and mold me into their version of what I should be. I could continue on from that point moving forward but I’ll save it all for a future Ebook that might be read by about ten people that get it for free with their Kindle Prime subscription. And most would think that the book was misclassified as a true story and just consider it a work of fiction. And I will exclude what could be a chapter on the CPS chick. We reunited years a few years later, although outside the parameters of her work environment, and I wasn’t the 12 year old boy sitting in an office with blood running down my head, clutching my backpack asking to be brought to my grandmother’s house.
It’s a f*cked up world out there gentlemen.
Adapt and persevere or it will break you.
No one wins every battle.
Real men do not enter the field of battle, only when they are certain of victory.
Glory and honor reside in the struggle itself, even in the absence of victory.
Merge with the struggle. Embrace it, and it will definitely you.
DEO VINDICE
your gut is always right in my experience.
That’s exactly the point I want the younger guys to understand. When I didn’t ‘trust my gut’ I phucked myself. Every time it seems.
We listen to people and trust their judgement when we shouldn’t have. I can’t count the times that I’ve done this and screwed myself. Your “gut is always right”…
Life rarely turns out as hoped despite our very best efforts.
A long time ago, in a blue pill galaxy far, far, away. . .
The Sky-0 was set to crash and burn.
It was a Monday night. Despite my efforts in the prior two days, I failed horribly in a skydiving canopy competition that I had trained for weeks to get in. It was a combination of not bringing my eye of the tiger lifeforce into the situation and some of the guys being better than me.
At that same moment, the only woman I had ever loved that had devalued and discarded me weeks prior was f*cking another guy.
And I was in my Jeep, over 900 miles from home, on the verge of making a 12 hour+ drive back, in despair and defeated.
When I looked across the street from the Chevron station I was at and saw a tattoo place.
I went online and found something that I remembered from the past, saved the image and drove over to the tattoo shop.
The guy was about to close but agreed to do it and I still had some space on my back below my neck to put it. (My back is a work of art that takes up almost all available space)
And I had it done.
Japenese lettering of a Japenese proverb / quote
‘Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight’
Because that’s how life works. At least for survivors. Not winners. Winners have it all and the way they get it can be attributed to a combination of luck, privilege, money that in some cases they did not have to work for along with being born into a high social class.
But survivors: Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight
It’s never over until you decide to stop getting back up. Always get back up.
And it’s not about how hard you can hit. Survivors have learned how to take hard hits, get pounded but keep getting back up.
In closing. . .
It’s not about the size of the dog in the fight – but rather the size of the fight in the dog.
The world is going to beat you down. You are going to get some scars. You will experience some blood, sweat and tears. But it’s never f*cking over until you decide to not get back up.
Alright. . .
I have to go jump out of a plane again, then drink some Redhook Longhammer while cranking Megadeth after I land and contemplate life for a while.
I’m much stronger and actually happier than before, now that I know the score.
Yes.
It’s realising that EVERYTHING you believed in is a lie.
It’s hard at first, but the truth sets you free. What seemed like a whirling kaleidoscope of insanity actually makes sense once you see the matrix.
It’s not you after all.
[URL=http://www.hostpic.org/view.php?filename=1908220307090107.png]
[/URL]On the back of Sky-0’s neck:
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Had sanctuary there for over a week then there was a knock on the door and it was CPS, with two tactical type guys as back up for when I tried closing the door. They gave my grandmother court papers and said they had to take me and I fought off the two goons as much as I could before they carried me away.
I’ve never understood why people in New York put up with s~~~ like that.
I don’t take kindly to goons, with or without a badge. I’d be tempted to look up such a goon later, and throw nitric acid solution in their eyes and then gouge them out with a stainless steel spork just to make sure they are blinded for life.
Additionally, it’d be a real temptation to neuter the f~~~, since those tactical types act like their b~~~~ are the size of tennis b~~~~.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Looking Back On Life is Always DEPRESSING for Me.
My Life is One BIG REGRET….It just IS what it IS.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
I genuinely appreciate you sharing your story and insight. The was some good stuff I needed to hear at this moment in my life.
Gawd dammit I love this website.
"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."Looking Back On Life is Always DEPRESSING for Me.
My Life is One BIG REGRET….It just IS what it IS.Somewhere in the world right now:
Pre-born children are being ripped from wombs and mercylessly killed with no empathy or remorse. Before they are ever given the opportunity to experience life.
Millions of children die annually on this planet due to lack of food. They starve to death.
Innocent men rot away in prison in the United States due to a flawed justice system. http://www.innocenceproject.org Years of their lives lost
Some people are born blind or without limbs. Forced to endure an existence far different from others.
Despite the illusion of good economic times, there are homeless families sleeping in cars or wherever they can again tonight.
Others live in third world countries under oppressive regimes with no hope for a better life.
And men everywhere that have had enough. Have been beaten down by the system, children taken away by unjust family courts and everything they have worked for stolen from them sit alone with either a gun placed against their head or a noose around their neck, ready to take the final step.
With that being said: I have known darkness that words cannot describe. I have experienced pain and betrayal that would have broken most men. And I’ve had some seriously bad cards dealt to me in life.
But I have never thought that life was depressing. And I have no regrets. I’ve been grateful that I had the strength to endure it all and feel blessed that I could always look back on everything and grasp the meaning behind it and use it as a foundation for understanding how the world works. Because it is in fact a dark place but if you let it break you then you allow evil to win. Evil does win frequently but as a man – Never allow it to win without a fight.
Keep getting back up. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Alright Autolite.
You apparently need an injection of Sky-0 perspective and insight.
First: ‘the things that my father should have taught me’
Way to act like a little b•tch this morning.
Okay Sky-O. I will concede that you might have won this thread. But are you sure that you will feel the same in 20 or perhaps 30 years from now? I mean a lifetime of continuously having to ‘get back up’ can wear down even the best of men. You might see things a little different as you get older. Consider that there may come a day in your life where the heart and mind might be willing but the old body just isn’t…
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