Living with in-laws

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

My wife has been going on and on for ages about wanting both her parents to live in our home. And not only that, but they would join us on any holidays along with her brother’s family. Surely this is not part of the marriage contract.

Anyway, the pressure was building and building until the day came when she threatened to see an Attorney to see what her legal options would be to have me removed from the family home. She crossed the line with that so I packed my bags and left.

Would anyone here tolerate having their inlaws live in their home?

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

No way! Think about it – you’d then be up against your wife and her parents – triple misery!

[narwhalParticipant]

Thanasi wrote:

Would anyone here tolerate having their inlaws live in their home?

Not unless it was something I actually wanted to do.

Do you have kids? Is there alimony where you live?

I don’t know that leaving your house was the right thing to do. First, I imagine her threat is empty. I don’t see how she could remove you because you didn’t want non-immediate family living in your home. However, she could have you removed with false domestic violence charges.

Really, I think you’re best option is to let her know that her threats have left you no choice but to seek divorce for your own protection. hire an attorney to get advice on protecting yourself, assets, and children if you have them.

I am not really a fan of divorce as a first option, and maybe your wife will come around a bit somehow. But what she is threatening you with is absolutely unacceptable, and she needs to understand that can’t happen if she wishes to stay married to you. Not a threat, simple reality.

Ok. Then do it.

[Mister StealthParticipant 362]

Once the threat of divorce is tossed out its not something that can be taken back.
Make an appointment to see a lawyer immediately. Find out what your rights and more importantly what your options are moving forward! (you already left and removed yourself from a situation with an unstable and controlling person)

Now you really need advice from a lawyer on your options when it comes to (ie children, alimoney/spousal support laws for your area) Real world numbers can be helpful in helping you make the best decisions for you long term.

Truthseeker82 wrote:

No way! Think about it – you’d then be up against your wife and her parents – triple misery!

I agree with Truthseeker on this one.

Steel sharpens steel

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Move your ass back in the house ASAP. Consult an attorney immediately. Don’t be cheap and expect a bunch of random guys on here to really know the laws where you live. I have never heard a good story when a guy leaves his own home (abandonment) in any state, though.

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

It’s too late to move back as the parents have already moved in. My wife says she’s happy now, so this looks like the end of the matter. We are both Australian citizens living in Washington State on work visas. But given that her family is from South America, they could not resist to move to America, and her brother with the parents lived down the street from us. She was calling all the shots, and wanted a future where she would help all her relatives move to the U.S. Honestly, I had it better in Australia, and thus I returned home. I didn’t want to work to support their efforts.

Yes, we have a 3-year old daughter that I adore. At the moment, I’m keeping in touch with her through Skype calls.

Thanks to all for the advice.

[FreedomParticipant 965]

You’ve been shafted mate. The femc~~~ has won.

I had a partner and everything was ok until her c~~~ arsed family moved nearby. I was demoted to the bottom of the s~~~ pile.

Get back into the home and create problems. If you get kicked out by the law…so what…you’re only back in the same situation.

She cheated on me ..... my fault. I showed an interest in another woman......my fault.

[Anonymous 0]

That was thrust upon me in my marriage. And I soon became acutely aware of the condescending arrogance of both in-laws. Followed shortly by the realization that while I was solely responsible for payment of the mortgage and utilities, I was at all times out-voted by the whims of her familial community. Avoid at all costs.

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

Nero wrote:

Move your ass back in the house ASAP. Consult an attorney immediately. Don’t be cheap and expect a bunch of random guys on here to really know the laws where you live. I have never heard a good story when a guy leaves his own home (abandonment) in any state, though.

I wasn’t looking for legal advice as much as I wanted the view on what you guys thought about having the parents live in the house with us. She was trying to make me believe that a true gentleman would allow the parents to live in our marital home. I need my space, and I would have none of it.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

@thanasi: Oh, in that case. F~~~ NO it’s not ok for this!!

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

Freedom wrote:

You’ve been shafted mate. The femc~~~ has won.

I had a partner and everything was ok until her c~~~ arsed family moved nearby. I was demoted to the bottom of the s~~~ pile.

Get back into the home and create problems. If you get kicked out by the law…so what…you’re only back in the same situation.

I could see the writing on the wall. They speak Spanish around me.

I can’t get back into the home now. If I return to Washington State, then she’s asked me to move nearby but not in the house.

Anonymous wrote:

That was thrust upon me in my marriage. And I soon became acutely aware of the condescending arrogance of both in-laws. Followed shortly by the realization that while I was solely responsible for payment of the mortgage and utilities, I was at all times out-voted by the whims of her familial community. Avoid at all costs.

Yeah, that mirrors my situation. That family was calling all the shots.

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

Anonymous wrote:

That was thrust upon me in my marriage. And I soon became acutely aware of the condescending arrogance of both in-laws. Followed shortly by the realization that while I was solely responsible for payment of the mortgage and utilities, I was at all times out-voted by the whims of her familial community. Avoid at all costs.

What happened in the end? Did you divorce her?

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

narwhal wrote:

Thanasi wrote:

Would anyone here tolerate having their inlaws live in their home?

I don’t know that leaving your house was the right thing to do. First, I imagine her threat is empty. I don’t see how she could remove you because you didn’t want non-immediate family living in your home. However, she could have you removed with false domestic violence charges.

Really, I think you’re best option is to let her know that her threats have left you no choice but to seek divorce for your own protection. hire an attorney to get advice on protecting yourself, assets, and children if you have them.

I am not really a fan of divorce as a first option, and maybe your wife will come around a bit somehow. But what she is threatening you with is absolutely unacceptable, and she needs to understand that can’t happen if she wishes to stay married to you. Not a threat, simple reality.

She had been telling me for ages to ‘change or leave’. I resisted for many, many months. On two occasions she threatened to call the police on me after trivial things such as disagreement on formula vs. milk for our toddler, and for another time when she didn’t get her own way. In the end, with all the demands, threats, and not wanting to find out what happens when American cops come knocking on your door – I decided to get out.

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

Sorry about your situation dude, I can’t think of anything else to say that hasn’t been said, just that once threatening to call the cops and divorce is thrown in the air, it’s full blown c~~~ mode, sorry your married to such a nasty c~~~.

Thanks, man. It’s likely she’ll file for divorce now. My daughter has already been crying around the house since my departure. It’ll sound ridiculous when she grows up and realises that her parents relationship was destroyed because her mother wanted her parents to live in the house with her. It would have been worse to suck it up, stay and give in to her mother’s demands – then she’ll grow up thinking it’s normal to treat men that way.

This MGTOW site has provided a wake up to me since I stumbled across it a few months ago after having read ‘The Manipulated Man’ and other similar literature.

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

She is now filing for divorce. Because I wouldn’t change and allow her parents to live with us forever.

I’m astonished that a woman would divorce me because of that.

[Anonymous 5]

My friend
obviously this is no reason for divorce, that is unless she has wanted this all along and is using your uncooperation as her reasoning to dump you. If the house is in both of your names then she has no right to have you removed from it, it is of course your primary residence. And if acquired durring the marriage / depending on where you live (d)/ you have as much right to say who lives there as she does.

[Anonymous 5]

My friend nero,
As i have been called an “abandoner” by my ex, I have to take issue with you respectfully on this topic.
Leaving a woman because of her abuses upon a man is no more innapropriate than a woman who is being abused by her husband then takes the kids then abandons him, or she uses her abandonment of him by chosing to have sex with everyone but her husband. There are situations where a woman will physically threaten her husband/ boyfriend/ lover with physical harm if he dissagrees with her in anyway shape or form, I ask this one question, and this is from my personal experience, should a man stay and continue to allow his belittle in front of his children by their mother, should he stay when she produces a knife after he threatened to leave her after another episode of her violent outbursts and verbal assaults and he leaves to deescalate the situation, is he any less a man if he does not want to participate in her stupid rabid rants, would you consider him any less of a man after this beast back handed him until his face was bloodied then after pleading with her to stop and she wouldnt , then he struck her once and her attack ceased. He being raised to never to strike a woman, also being raised to never divorce but to stick it out no matter what the cost, but then what reality tought him was a completely different thing. OOOH and about that knife incident, a few years later this beast threatened to take his kids away from him, threatened that he would never see them again if he didnt capitulate to her demands, was it wrong of him to employ the same tactics she used and pull out the small pocket knife he had in his possession and threaten her? He would’ve never used it, but imagine his pain at just the thought of the loss of his kids to some stupid selfish bitch, he knows that she is not worth one moment in any jail, but pay back can be a bitch too. My point being that sometimes removing ones self from that hell hole of a situation is in the long run much better than the feeling of being trapped in an inescapable endless and abusive one, no matter how its done. If she didnt want to be abandoned then maybe she shouldve employed loving, positive tactics, such as the complete opposite as the ones she was using . The emotional cost to ones mental health , happiness and security of living with someone who has either Bi-polar dissorder or borderline personality dissorder is just to high, for one to stay in such a relationship . Abandonment of said woman might be the only option available to the one being abused. Abandonment by men is usually a frowned upon and a one sided story until you get the other side then it all makes sense ….. some women deserve to be abandoned, thus they are afraid of being abandoned , but instead work with all their might to accomplish just that …. abandonment, So I ask you my friend Nero to consider that ….Respectfully that is !!! because the alternative may be that she winds up in a cemetery with her skull split open and a head stone that marks the day she stupidly thought it appropriate to belittle and physicaly attack a man who by all accounts is physically much stronger then her, add little adrenaline to that mix and walla, the stupid bitch is dead. I say use the flight option then at least you avoid a prison cell !!!!!

[NeroParticipant 1466]

@nevets61: Oh, I meant no offense by that. It is the bulls~~~ legal system I am concerned about. That is often how the courts look at it. I would be out the door myself if it weren’t for this bulls~~~. I can’t stand dwelling in the same place as my soon to be ex-wife. But, I have equity in the house. I can’t afford to lose it. If there was no equity, I would say f~~~ it and bolt. Let the f~~~ing thing foreclose.

Also, I would call the cops and get a restraining order on that crazy psycho!

[Anonymous 5]

Agreed my friend
I feel for you in your situation, having been through it more than once, I refuse to to go through it any more.
I am glad to be on my own, no one to bellow orders or tell me what the hell we were going to do today, Stand firm my friend, and keep on your toes. Life is too short to waste it on unapreciative judge c~~~ sucking bitches.
Dont let them suck your life out of you either, you have strength with -in yourself !!!!! 🙂

All the best to you Nero !!

[Anonymous 5]

No offence taken 🙂

[Author]

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