Just pulled out of engagement

[KeymasterKeymaster]

First post I read today. Big applause. And share everyone’s enthusiasm.

Wiseguy wrote:

I was a mess of anxiety and depression. It INSTANTLY disappeared the moment I ended our relationship.

Oh man, we don’t know each other, but I know exactly of what you speak.

I once lived with a bitch. She criticized damn near everything I did. On her birthday, I gave here a gift, and before saying “thank you”, she criticized it. I pulled out right there. Right on her birthday. “That’s it. We’re done”. And I just left that day.

Amazing thing was, she didn’t even think there was any wrong with it. I couldn’t have made her understand for all the tea in China. Can’t even put it into words how awesome it was to walk, but I remember the date. That’s what it has to come to for a guy to just pack it in. Anxiety, panic attacks, costly s~~~ she doesn’t even WANT to try and afford…..

But not any more. Now she would be history at the first visible FRAGMENT of hostility, or a toxic attitude.

Untamed wrote:

Welcome! This makes my day! Bravo, Wiseguy!

Wiseguy is MGHOW of the Day today.
Spectacular news.

Welcome! And I even like your avatar. The Incredibles is my favorite PIXAR movie. I even like the red-pill undertones and way he argues against “celebrating mediocrity”, which is the hell hole society is currently in.

Anonymous wrote:

Hey Keymaster! MGTOW OF THE DAY? WEEK? MONTH! Welcome wised-up-guy! BEST INTRO EVER! CONGRATULATIONS for your sane decision!

Terrific too that others voted him there! Thanks Tower.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[WiseguyParticipant 131]

I must clarify . My previous fiancé was a lovely sweet woman who didn’t put a foot wrong . She wasn’t a bitch at all: I just couldn’t imagine spending the next 30 years with her, or anyone for that long . I don’t want to give the impression she was a bad person.

Re: the ring . I am happy for her to keep it . Obviously I feel bad for her and although it’s expensive , it was a gift to her , so there’s no ill will in her keeping it.

I’ve pulled the rug out from under her life, and I would be a bit of a douche to demand it back, plus in Austraia I don’t believe there are laws allowing me to do so . Screw getting a layer involved anyway .

Thanks for all the support

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Wiseguy wrote:

I must clarify . My previous fiancé was a lovely sweet woman who didn’t put a foot wrong . She wasn’t a bitch at all: I just couldn’t imagine spending the next 30 years with her, or anyone for that long . I don’t want to give the impression she was a bad person.

No it is I who should clarify.

I wasn’t implying your fiancée was a bitch. Just telling you about the women I lived with was a bitch. She was lovely times too but unbearable in others.

I wasn’t dissing your fiancée.
Was joining you in celebrating the feeling you had described.

I’m actually quite surprised you needed to clarify that, because I read my welcome message again, and I don’t see how you arrived that I implied your fiancee was anything at all.

But I’m glad it’s sorted now. A big welcome again.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[WiseguyParticipant 131]

Didn’t for a second think you’d implied my ex was a bitch mate. Just general clarification .

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Re: the ring . I am happy for her to keep it . Obviously I feel bad for her and although it’s expensive , it was a gift to her , so there’s no ill will in her keeping it.

Actually there is.

This is one of this things about engagement rings.
Women like to get them on HOLIDAYS / CHRISTMAS / BIRTHDAYS as a “gift”.

And why? Because now it becomes “hers” instead of “the ring you allow her to wear“.

See the difference?

Is it really HER ring? Or is the ring you worked a year of your life to save 2-3 months wages to afford JUST TO ASK FOR PERMISSION TO LOVE HER UNTIL DEATH???

Not only should she give your ring back.
She should be buying YOU a ring for that.

It’s not her ring at all. It’s yours and it cost you what…. 2-3 months of after tax savings after expenses? That’s a year of a man’s working life – assuming you save that much every year. It’s not even “expensive”. It’s crazy to give a woman that … “because you feel bad for her”.

Why?? So she could gaze it all day for the rest of her life and “wonder what could have been”? Doesn’t make any sense. But it’s not really about causing ill to reclaim your ring. She shouldn’t have it in the first place. As soon as she is over it, she will be pawning it off or switch it over to her right hand so others can see her “bling”.

Then again, divorced men say it all the time. “Getting rid of her was worth every penny”. So some guys just don’t care what it costs as long as they get out.

Reggie Yates from the BBC did the same thing:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2921297/Reggie-Yates-engaged-model-Tia-Ward-proposing-stunning-ring-designed.html

Quite a rock, huh. Flew her to Rio to put it on her finger and everything! Just in time for New Years, so it was a “gift” too.

Then he called off his wedding because he “weirded out”:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/reggie-yates-splits-fiance-tia-7348908

Sensible MGTOW advice to Reggie would be to get that mother-f~~~ing ring back and make it into a diamond ring for HIMSELF.

But maybe he’s just “grateful” he got out wit his life intact.
After he did a documentary on MGTOW, one can understand why.

I actually have “I’m not having a wedding ring” and I wear it on the 4th finger of my left hand. I don’t bother correcting those who think it means “married”.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Incredible! Some of us were not so smart, but you are definitely a hero in your own right. Super welcome to the forums.

[Anonymous 42]

Wiseguy wrote:

Screw getting a layer involved anyway .

If you can do that you’re ahead of the game!
Can you stealthe ring back and make her think she lost it?

Listen to ole Keymaster, MG-Tower, and others,get the ring back and use the money for something more worthwhile than a wife, get a bike!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Wiseguy wrote:

Hell yeah it was a brutal move. So much pressure to follow through. Hardest decision I’ve ever made but definitely the right one.

Anonymous wrote:

Listen to ole Keymaster, MG-Tower, and others,get the ring back and use the money for something more worthwhile than a wife, get a bike!

Wiseguy is a good guy and it’s more about saving himself than hurting her, I get it. Completely. I just wouldn’t let her have my ring. It means to much to me and represents too big a piece of myself to let her waltz away with it.

No. It’s not hers. It’s mine and I ALLOW her to wear it.

This topic is personal to me because I once saw a woman married to a friend of mine on Facebook (years ago) who created AN ALBUM of photos called “MY” RING…. and “MY” WEDDING…. and “MY” DRESS.

It was everywhere.

• “I’M pregnant”
• “MY” baby
• “I’M having a baby”
• “I don’t need a man to have a baby”.

But MY good friend who couldn’t’ afford the ring wasn’t mentioned in any of it, and I messaged her. “It’s not “your” ring. It’s the ring HE GAVE you”. She couldn’t even f~~~ing say “OUR” wedding.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that day. So I have no second thought about demanding that she deliver it to me and KNEEL DOWN when she gives it back. She can cry her f~~~in’ eyes out when she does it too.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Smart move.

I’ve told this story but I’ll tell it again. About five years ago I was engaged. My wife-to-be was a super-hot Japanese belly dancer, friendly and kind hearted, emotionally stable, domestically submissive, great in bed, loved by everyone… a real catch by anyone’s standards (well, anyone who likes sexy asian women and home cooked Japanese food).

I proposed to her not so much because I wanted to be married but because I felt she was the best and most balanced women I was ever going to find. That part was probably true. She accepted and we started planning her emigration to the U.S.

Before I continue, I know what you’re thinking… green card scam. Not so. We’d dated for several years at this point and I’d spent upwards of a year total in Japan prior to deciding to bring her back here. Me moving to Japan was also an option but I felt I couldn’t survive there economically so I chose here.

Anyway, she came to the states, I proposed, we notified the families, hired a lawyer to start the paperwork and went to Las Vegas to celebrate. Going through Las Vegas actually telling people we were engaged is when the reality began to set in. Everyone was thrilled for us and we got treated like royalty everywhere we went… and she started acting like she’d won.

Three days later we’re lying in bed at the Cosmopolitan and I sit up, look at her and say “I’m sorry but I don’t want to be married.” She took the engagement ring off, handed it back to me and that was that.

We carried on like f~~~ friends for a while longer but the relationship was over. And why? Because I saw a future where she would go completely limp and it would be up to me to take care of everything and be responsible for her and her happiness.

I remember at the time thinking to myself “It was easy to dodge that bullet because it was so poorly aimed.” If she’d held out through the engagement and done everything in her power to get me across the finish line, I’d be married now and probably telling a different story.

So I was lucky and so were you. Every man who avoids marriage and avoids getting a woman pregnant is like a horse saved from the saddle and the plow and, eventually, the glue factory.

Again, congratulations.

[The Batman 2020Participant 2112]

Whenever I think of getting engaged:

MGTOW evasive manuevers:

WOOOHOO dodged that bullet!

Your 20's are for learning, your 30's are for earning.

[WiseguyParticipant 131]

I’m investigating the snip shortly

[Mr_OptionsParticipant 298]

Well done brother as the rest have said. I can only add I was in your shoes as well. Divorced in 2014, after 17 years of marriage. I hopped back on the blue pill express and found a the most emotional, insecure women, with huge baggage from her divorce. I thought we had some things in common. Fast forward 1.5 years later, I wise up, found this website in March of this year, and finally sent her packing last month. It’s been a eye opener for me . The unicorn does not exist at any stage of a man’s life. I’m still learning like most, but with this website you really do have others that have your back and will give you solid advice.

For me, I’m done with the online dating sites, what a f~~~ing nightmare. My only focus is self improvement and living my life for me not others.

A man without a woman is like a fish without a hook.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Never let a woman into your place you don’t know how bad it is. On Tom Leykis there was a man telling us a story how a woman got him arrested and restraining order while she is living at his place. To legally to kick her out he needs to get a lawyer and it can take at least 30 days, more likely it will take longer. He has no choice but to get a room in a hotel.
On top of that it’s hard to get a woman to leave if you want to leave. It’s best not to have women at your place unless it’s someone you trust which is usually female family members. Even female friends can turn on you.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Wiseguy wrote:

Was engaged for a year and just blew it off.

Congratulations @wiseguy! In addition to saving a f~~~ton of emotional stress, you also made the 1st or 2nd most financially rewarding decision a man can make!

Getting married/divorced or having kids are the largest expenses most men will ever have.

[WhoIsAskingParticipant 105]

Howdie my Brother. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the smart. 🙂

Breaking off an engagment is a great thing to do. I did so myself like….12 years ago. She was a single mom, and I was very young (20 yrs). TBH I never intented to marry her – even back then. Just asked her to marry me, so she would shut the f~~~ up.
Never got her a ring. She got me one. Threw it out of the window. xD

[experiencedParticipant]

Stargazer wrote:

… and she started acting like she’d won.

I actually saw this in a women’s magazine while waiting to get an x-ray. The article’s female author used the analogy of “You almost won the lottery but were off by two digits”, when writing back to a woman who had sex with a guy after he broke off the engagement.

Mr_Options wrote:

The unicorn does not exist at any stage of a man’s life.

Thank you for the apt reminder!

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Congrats, Mr. WiseGuy. The name wisefully suits you.

If its any consolation, you did a good thing by sparing both of you from the mental torture of a marriage. So its a joint profit.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[505vikingoParticipant 521]

Awesome, you escaped the plantation. Well done! Time for you to get on the “Underground Railroad” and continue your voyage of unregulated happiness.

[F!@#GuiltParticipant 48]

WELL DONE! I know that must have been difficult knowing the blowback from her and your/her family. You definitely saved yourself. Cheers.

F!@#Guilt YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6hQIbzFPm5RBfsjm2pCGgA

[WiseguyParticipant 131]

Yes the pressure was immense. It’s lonely now of course but things will get better I know.

[Author]

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