Just out of Jail

[Robot112Participant 156]

@experienced The therapist is female…I’m actually doing hypnotherapy and I started this before the event. I wanted to become stronger and I believe it is helping. I did 11 weeks of cognitive therapy with a man therapist which didn’t help.

@unbelievablynot thanks for posting Craig David. Craig is actually totally MGTOW and he is living a fantastic life in Miami on his own.

My wife is definitely textbook borderline/narcisstic. I have studied this for years. This is a book I highly recommend http://www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Next-Door-Martha-Stout/dp/0767915828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434488150&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sociopath+next+door

Also very good is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434488555&sr=8-1&keywords=stop+caretaking+the+borderline+or+narcissist

also this has advice for people you want to continue living with the narcissist. That’s not me

The song that always helped is is Frank Sinatra’s My Way…I think I’m getting there now.

But none of this is as powerful as a support group like Mgtow. I found Mgtow through a comment on a book to be released by the woman from shrink4men.

I started to suspect my wife’s  BPD when she beganto make up things, once she called the Police on me saying I kicked her in the stomach 15 years ago, pregnant, but she didn’t press charges then. She still tells that story to everyone who will listen including her family and of course I deny it. SHe accused me of adultery, lol, when I was hardly allowed out. She only had to have a dream of me with another woman and my week would be screwed. I’m still worried she may dream up some terrible false accusations…

and again guys I don’t know why I stayed with her for so long…time flies

 

 

[Anonymous 11]

Robot112 wrote:

I don’t know why I stayed with her for so long…time flies

It’s not your fault there Robot. It’s a plus that you know what you’re up against. It takes lot of guts on your part to be taking theses steps. I think you’re doing a great job of execution in your plans.

I found her words on shrink4men to be very helpful for me too. I forget her name, but she definitely has the best interests of men in her work and cuts right to the quick. It’s cool that she mentioned MGTOW in a sincere manner. You are going your way now.

This really is a great place. We can go from tearing someone a new asshole to helping a Brother in need in the bat of an eye.

[experiencedParticipant]

Please be assured that it does slowly get better.

Eg, there have been times too numerous to mention that I thought, “No it’s not getting slowly better, that’s bulls~~~.”

But just caught myself laughing now, when trying to put into words to you how I’d “only been punched once,” and “slapped too many times to remember”………….and it was not that long ago, that there wasn’t enough mental distance to laugh, let alone just sit there.

The point is, it’s slow, but it does get better, it really does.  Even if your faith is not the strongest it’s still faith.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 42]

experienced wrote:

Even if your faith is not the strongest it’s still faith.

Faith and hope are like an acorn; plant it in the right place, give it “time” and the largest of immovable boulders will split and part ways, thereby clearing your path of all obstructions.

 

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I like the acorn analogy.  Here’s an observation (not originally by me so I’m not taking credit for it):

The largest, strongest oak tree in the whole forest… Was once just a tough little nut that held its ground..

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Robot112Participant 156]

I like the acorn analogy. I want to be that tough little nut…and this time around I will be it

[Anonymous 42]

I liken MGTOW to a medicine for this society’s feminiazi poisoning on men, the antidote is extracted from a rare enzyme found in the MGTOW fruit. I’m here to help others maintain the clearing and to keep the MGTOW tree watered and fertilized.

The MGTOW tree stands alone in a clearing deep in a dark and deadly forest, it’s members consist of men that hacked and chopped the strangling vines of female domination, each one of us assembled in this clearing with chain saw in hand, and we’re experience with defending ourselves against the wild predators that live in the dark forest.

We’re wise foresters that have noticed the accumulation of massive amounts of forest debris, the latest wave of feminism combined with the long progressive establishment of male gender discriminating laws has set the forest ablaze, we see multitudes of men running from the feminist forest now ablaze, multitudes of men have already been consumed, the only escape from danger is to be in the clearing. I’d like to say LTMFB, but it’s more like you can’t stop a firestorm on the winds of feminism and it’s “going to burn anyway” in spite of any White Knight smoke jumper’s efforts.

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

Robot 112,

I just wanted to take a moment and say hello. I’ve just taken the time to read through all 6 pages of your ordeal. As I am sure you are aware, you are not alone here. Many of the gentlemen here, including myself, can very much in one way or another, relate to your problems.

On a personal level, I want to tell you, IT WILL GET BETTER. It may not be right now, not a week or month later, possibly years, but IT DOES GET BETTER.

I found myself in a similar position not 2 years ago. It was hard. The first week I found myself staying in a literal roach motel. The second and third months living with family with no supposed end in sight. Now I find myself strong and able. I’ve got a pretty decent job that I flew half-way across the world to get, I picked up playing an instrument, I’ve finally decided to pursue my educational goals. Hell, in two weeks I’m taking up courses on underwater diving.  I say all that to grant you some assurance that IT WILL GET BETTER brother. What you deem as a set-back now could in turn be your greatest life adventure yet. You are bent, but not broken. Remember that. And what doesn’t defeat you, can ultimately define you for the better.

Best of luck to you friend. Continue to keep us posted.

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

[DakotaParticipant 341]

You’re a poet, TOWER.  BinaryLogic summed it all up…there is life (Good Life!) after her.

Hey Robot, many men here have rightly suggested zooming out from your situation mentally and try to get a larger or god-like perspective on your situation.  Regarding that, you know all of this s~~~ you’re going through right now is not about you, right?  It’s not about your personality, how good or bad of a provider you are, or anything else you did or didn’t do.  It never was about you.  If you never existed she would be on her third or forth marriage by now.

Marriage is not about men.  In fact, as you know in many places around the world, fathers offer expensive assets or a dowry to prospective husbands who might possibly take their daughter off their hands, because as men, we know that women take way more than they give and the marriage agreement is grossly unequal.  It’s way worse in Western cultures where the women consume everything during the marriage, and then when the marriage is over, they continue to take and take and take until everyone and everything is consumed and destroyed including the children…and they don’t even care. They are like William Tecumseh Sherman (an American civil war figure) on his famous (barbaric) March to the Sea burning and stealing and destroying everything in his path even though the war was already over when Atlanta fell.

But as other men here have rightly said already, you should avoid being angry with your wife. She didn’t consciously begin her relationship with you scheming and planning that she would ultimately destroy you. This is merely the nature of all females throughout the entire animal kingdom.  A female has little-to-nothing to offer the male except vagina.  She knows this.  And so she puts on her own late-night infomercial…

“See this vagina?  It can all be yours for the low low price of just an engagement ring and your signature on this little Ol’ marriage license.  Just think…you can have this vagina 24 hours a day, 7 days a week…just like RIGHT NOW while you’re dating!  It sucks, it f~~~s, it can even chop wood…BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…”

Oh there’s more, alright!  A lot more!  And we jump at that defective product like its free beer.  But as an adult, we know, there is no such thing as free.  If, before we got married, there was a disclosure that said, “By signing this marriage certificate you acknowledge that you are relinquishing your rights to all assets and all earnings, past, present, and future as well as any rights to any children that you may father.  The State also reserves the right to throw you in jail at your wife’s request.”  Sounds fair enough, where do I sign!

So no Robot, this was never about you.  She’s p~~~ed at you that:  Her plans aren’t working out, her golden-goose is not producing, her retirement package is thinning, her house isn’t paid for, her kids haven’t all graduated college, (and the biggest one of them all) you are “abandoning her”, her her her her.  A husband is just a means to an end that women cannot provide for themselves. Being indifferent to her, not angry, is what you want. Doesn’t mean she ain’t a bitch though.

[Robot112Participant 156]

Thanks again to you all of you, and yes always her her her. In fact, the day I married her, my life was finished.

Today was  a good day, I had therapy and after I was actually feeling a little angry with her which I know is not ideal but hey for the time being it felt a lot better then the guilt I have been feeling.

I had my hair cut short.

She never allowed me perfume as it would indicate I have an affair, so although I really don’t care about these things,  I bought my favorite smell from before I got married, just for kicks and it smelled a thousand times better then it ever had.

I also got some new underwear, which I could never buy because that too, was a sign of having an affair, i relied on her to buy it when she was ready for it.

In fact I never went back home after the arrest. In preparation for my “exit” over the years i had digitized all my family photos and videos and as for clothes, she has periodically cut up everything I owned anyway except a few things, those she knew I didn’t care about.  So I had to buy a few new things, although very low budget, it feels great.

When I started to sleep in my man cave i started sleeping in a Hammock which I now know is the best sleep a man can get and I miss the Hammock now. (I started sleeping in a Hammock because I knew she would eventually destroy my mattress, instead I could take down the hammock in the morning and take with me to work and put up again in the evening. Now I know this sounds crazy but man becomes inventive when he is in hell I guess…)

When I have something more permanent to live at that new way of sleeping will continue for me. I look forward to that now.

 

I’m not going back by the way.

 

[Anonymous 11]

Robot112 wrote:

she has periodically cut up everything I owned anyway except a few things

Wow! Instead of cutting herself, she cut up your stuff. Enjoy those forbidden fruits!

[Anonymous 42]

@Robot, I feel for you brother, it sounds like she made it her life’s mission to rule over you by any miserable means she could conjure up at any given time, You were truly living in the hell she made especially for YOU! It’s funny how she gets along with people she chooses to, isn’t it? Am I right? Is she not just as two faced as a galvanized washer, with the same amount of personality?

I’m thrilled to see another man freed from the tyrannical clutches of another one of today’s modern narcissistic women!

Marriage should never equate to jail, but it does, and when it does; the incarcerated has every God given RIGHT to be freed on the grounds of treachery…

[Robot112Participant 156]

shes nagging for money, it’s driving me crazy, I don’t have enough. She put us in so much debt over the years…

[TheBeastParticipant 79]

Try to restrict her contact to you. Change phone numbers (inform only the ones who for sure won’t pass it to her) and leave her only an e-mail to contact you (a spam one) or download an app for redirecting and storing smses and calls from chosen numbers to have peace 🙂

[Robot112Participant 156]

@thebeast she’s not supposed to contact me directly and she doesn’t give a care. I will look for such an app. Thanks!

 

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

The day before you declare bankruptcy, she will be demanding more money to spend on crap that isn’t really necessary.  The day after bankruptcy, she’ll be blaming you for it.

She can only drive you crazy demanding money if you agree to have conversations with her, which you should not be doing.  What do you have to benefit from having conversations with her?  Have you confused her again with the woman in your head?  Let me clear that up for you.  She is naggin you for money, not nagging you to come home.  Think about this because it shows you what she really wants.  She wants the money.  She is nagging you for it.  If she wanted you, she’d be nagging you to come home.  If she can get the money from you, she doesn’t really care much if you come home or not.  And if she does get the money, no amount will be enough.  The woman you are speaking to will not stop until you are bankrupt.  It may well be her unstated goal.  She can’t keep you locked up forever, but she can keep you broke forever if you continue to have conversations with her.  If she nags you long enough, you’ll give her your last dollar and go hungry just to shut her up.

She knows this.  Get a restraining order if necessary (it was necessary for me to stop my ex from doing this).  If you continue to say no, you are about to see her most aggressive side.  She believes you owe her and will treat you like someone who has defaulted on a legitimate debt.  Actually, she’s going to treat you a lot worse.  What this indicates is that she still believes you have something left to take.  Once she knows you have nothing left, the nagging will stop because she will move on to the next guy to take from.  But until then, the only way it stops is if you make it stop.  She will use nagging, threats, sympathy, or the force of the courts to every penny she possibly can, until she knows you have nothing left… or until she knows there’s nothing left she can do to take whatever it is you have.

The more consistent and generous you have been at providing for her, the longer it will take her to find a replacement for you, and so the longer she will continue to harass you to continue to provide for her.

Since you know now that she never cared about you anyway, you have nothing to lose by telling her to kiss off…  She will threaten to have you jailed again, but even the stupid ones quickly realize you can’t earn money in jail.  Know that the courts will probably take almost everything you have to give to her.  But what they take is a set amount based on what you make at the time of the divorce.  So, as you approach that date, don’t make any effort to earn any more than necessary to survive, because no amount will be enough to satisfy her.  Then, after that amount is set, you can start making an effort to earn as much as you can again.  If you succeed in making more money someday than you did on the day of the divorce, you can quietly begin to save for your children to inherit or go to college.  But if she ever finds out about any extra money, she will make every effort to take that as well.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Robot112Participant 156]

@brainpilot  wow they are all the same then huh…I fear exactly what you are describing. Whatever I got for her it was never enough and her promises were never kept i.e. Get me a new car and I will do this… all BS I didn’t want a divorce so quickly because of the expense but if this nagging goes on I will have no choice to get a fixed amount, but even when it is fixed she will say that she needs this and that extra for the kids…

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Robot112, read BrainPilot’s post again, then yours right after it.  Do you see the disconnect?  How do you want to respond to it?

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[Robot112Participant 156]

@HighCountryDilbert I catch myself still being weak, but I get 100% what Brainpilot is saying….she still gets under my skin with this nagging. I am ignoring her. She gets whats required to feed the Family, and I know what it is because I did all of it including the shopping. I’m not responding anyway.

 

[TheBeastParticipant 79]

SMS Blocker Clean Inbox, Call control, Restriction order. I mean, get the restriction order on her and use all her breaches against her. If not, use those apps to block out her cell phone number, they are for android.

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