Just kicked son out

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Hey guys,

My son is 19 and was living with me full time for the last few years. His mother, my partner from 18 years ago, is a psycho nutter who he couldn’t live with beyond age 16.

Sadly, he has taken after her so much that he too has a personality disorder, the closest to which I can see in my research is “oppositional defiant disorder” or something like it. He argues with literally everything – every request I make for even the smallest thing. He is arrogant, entitled and every bit his mother’s son.

Don’t get me wrong, I love him and we are very close, and have had many good times together. I have always been there for him to the best of my ability. If it wasn’t for me pulling him out of school in his mother’s area and paying for him to finish high school at TAFE (Technical & Further Education), he would not have made it into the Business degree he is now studying at university. I have also given him all the red pill knowledge I can, and he seems to get it.

I have been the best dad I can despite limited means and my own faults. Nobody is perfect. I never had another spouse since his mother and I split, partly because she had a string of relationships and I didn’t want to confuse a young boy by bringing in other women. Plus, relationships suck.

Anyway, after I got on his case last night for him again leaving his dirty pots in the sink for the millionth time, as usual he acted all indignant and insolent like a little brat. Basically female behaviour I know he learned from his mother, because she is EXACTLY like that in an incredibly intense way. Now, he is my only child and I have tolerated this kind of thing since his childhood because I know what he went through with her and as a parent you can tolerate a lot from your kids when they are little.

But he is 19 and a half now, bigger than me and not too long into the argument escalating, he said that I am being a c#%@. Yes, he said his father, who gives him everything, is a c#%@. Nobody should have to accept that from someone, what to speak of their own child who they have supported to this day since birth. Nobody.

I told him he now has to be out in two weeks (the plan was for him to move to campus relatively soon anyway), and at one point he goes on to say that I am going to die alone at 60 (implying abandonment from him in the future among other things… raising kids eh? No good deed goes unpunished).

Anyway, after further words today, I reached the point of f~~~ it, enough, you are out the door now son. I am upset and devastated that it has come to this, but enough abuse and attitude is enough fellas, am I right?

I need some encouraging words from you brothers. This is a tough and dark day for me. But it was a long time coming.

[AnthonyParticipant 2281]

Yeah, I have no idea what to say about this. I’ve gotten into worse fights with my parents and while I never called them anything like a “c~~~” I’ve yelled at them plenty of times and regretted it.

But, at the same time, I knew they’d never kick me out. So I really have no stance on this one way or another.

Once you have a Fleshlight real vaginas become worthless.

[Anonymous 3]

It’s unfortunate, but he is too infected by modern culture.

I had crappy parents and was out by 18 myself. They thrilled in harassing me to the point that I frequently wondered if they were my biological parents. It wasn’t until other women began commenting, from my age to much older that something was wrong with them that I was able to move on.

Children are supposed to obey parents and there is supposed to be a mutual kindness between both. But Western culture creates division and antagonism. You did the best you could, perhaps some time away will teach him how much you did and he may become grateful, unfortunately I do not think that will happen. But still, you can hold that hope out for the future.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

did he call you a c~~~, a c~~~ or a cuck? some clarification is needed

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

I doubt it was ‘c~~~’…

Are you doing this because you don’t like being called names and attitude, or is this a tough love thing? If it’s for the boy, then I support you, because in years to come I believe he WILL see it was for his own good. If it’s because you have a thin skin to attitude and insults, I suggest growing a thicker skin. A MGTOW should have skin like iron, just let that s~~~ roll right off him and go his own way with no power given to anyone else to upset him.

(That’s the goal, anyway – it’s a journey ;))

Either way, I hope it works out for you and him.

[AnthonyParticipant 2281]

Shiny wrote:

I doubt it was ‘c~~~’…

Ah, k. And whether it was c~~~ or c~~~, doesn’t really matter.

Like you said, MGTOWs should be more stoic and not let words hurt them.

Once you have a Fleshlight real vaginas become worthless.

[survivorParticipant 610]

Max:

Sometimes we have to raise kids like eagles do. As the younger eagles grow, they get used to mom and dad bringing food to them while they still do not know how to fly and hunt and eat for themselves. Over a period of time the adult parent eagles basically tear up the nest and force them out. They push them out and force them over the ledge. The parent eagle knows full well they are capable of flying. The first time the juvenile eagle is pushed over the edge the parent eagle will hover and flap nearby and swoop in and save them. They catch them on their back, soar back to a high ledge and repeat the lesson, showing them how it’s done. The lesson is repeated until the eagle has learned to fly. There’s a famous passage from the book of Deuteronomy in the Bible about this about how God sees us and helps us:

10 “He found him in a desert land,
And in the howling waste of a wilderness;
He encircled him, He cared for him,
He guarded him as the pupil of His eye.
11 “Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
That hovers over its young,
He spread His wings and caught them,
He carried them on His pinions.
12 “The Lord alone guided him,
And there was no foreign god with him. (Deuteronomy 32: 10-12)

That is what we have to do as parents as well. Swoop in and save him if he needs it or he needs the direction or even some cash and you can spare it; you’ve taught him about how nasty women can be, and that’s a good start. Help him start off debt-free, too, if possible. That’s always a winner especially in this day and age.

Don’t feel bad. Have a sit down with him and explain to him clearly that you still love him but won’t tolerate that nasty of an attitude and he needs to act respectful like an adult. Always be there for him and let him know you care.

Hope all turns out well.

"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Thanks my brothers for your words.

Yes, it was c~~~. I hate writing it.

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

With respect to those of you telling me to grow a thick skin, it is incredibly thick. He is my son.

But beyond a certain point, if you were being treated like s~~~ by the person you love the most and trying everything for years to get them to appreciate you and they showed you repeated contempt, would you put up with it?

He is 19. An adult. Until you have experienced something similar, it may be hard for you to understand.

And like any good parent, of course it is motivated by love. He needs to grow and change, and part of that is learning that you can’t bite the hand that feeds you and hurt the ones who love, support and protect you.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Max Power wrote:

But he is 19 and a half now, bigger than me and not too long into the argument escalating, he said that I am being a c#%@. Yes, he said his father, who gives him everything, is a c#%@. Nobody should have to accept that from someone, what to speak of their own child who they have supported to this day since birth. Nobody.

When I was 20 my father and my brother were constructing a boat house for the cottage. Like a shed to store the motor and lifejackets, fishing rods and things. I watched them interact and my Brother treated my Dad with such disrespect that I had to intervene.

He said things like “Ah dad don’t be stupid” and “or that’s a stupid idea” and was being very abusive….. rolling his eyes and even mocking(!) when my dad told him how it should be done. My father actually built our family boat 50 years ago and I still use it on vacation. He was a machinist by trade – the best – and could build anything.

But my brother treated my father like s~~~ and often “talked down” to him.

In that moment, I told myself “If I ever have kids and my son spoke to me like that, I would throw him out of my life and never speak to him again”. I will never forget having that thought and told my mother about this just a couple of years ago.

My brother wouldn’t remember this. Even my father probably wouldn’t if he were alive today, because he just took it. But I remember it like it was yesterday.

My father was so under-appreciated at home. They actually treated him better at work. Maybe that’s why he liked going to work more than being home. Even on weekends, he wold spend it in the workshop or garage.

Max Power wrote:

Anyway, after further words today, I reached the point of f~~~ it, enough, you are out the door now son. I am upset and devastated that it has come to this, but enough abuse and attitude is enough fellas, am I right?

Yes you are. There comes a time when you gotta put your foot down. FIRMLY. Nobody likes doing that, but it’s worse to just keep tolerating it.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Thanks Keymaster. Much appreciated perspective.

[Zuberi TauParticipant 10606]

It sounds like your son is effeminate.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Max Power wrote:

Much appreciated perspective.

Not my place to tell you how to discipline your kid, but you rekindled a memory.

When I look around, I notice fathers (and men) are not often on the receiving end – if ever. Everybody else WANTS s~~~ from Dad. Allowance, the car keys, whatever. The minimum you can expect in exchange is some respect when you’re disciplining. If you’re not even getting that…. what’s it all for.

Ever see those dogs that walk their owners?
There’s an end to every leash.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

It sounds like he needs to see what it’s like to support himself. I think it was right to show him some tough love. It will give him life experience and learn to be independent and perhaps even grateful. The comment about dying alone sounds like he himself is scared of moving out and projected that towards you (notice that kind of line is what women say). It’s not like you’ve abandoned him, just given him the opportunity to obtain greater freedom, which is daunting at first. Personal growth requires some discomfort, which in my experience is better than living in fear of taking that step. Sometimes a little push from someone goes a long way.

All you can do is let him know he can contact you should he need assistance. He will probably try to use this against you but hold your ground. You may find in future that space improves your relationship.

As I Father myself I have felt guilt related to my son, though I have realized it’s important to challenge my emotions by asking what evidence I have to feel this way so I can make decisions based on logic and my values.

One day I may be in your shoes.

My best wishes to you both.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Thanks guys, appreciate all your words. Tough love is called tough for a reason, no doubt.

He’s a complex guy my son. He is actually very masculine and alpha with the girls. That is easy for him. He is a handsome, aggressive dick.

At the same time, due to his mother’s heaviness and abuse, he has taken on a ‘male’ version of her qualities. Her father was a violent alcoholic – it is a cycle of abuse. I am from a family that is reasonably balanced, so for me it has been a 20-year adjustment to being in a situation of abuse. It takes its toll, let me tell you!

I will always be there for him and I know it will blow over, but I refuse to live for one minute longer in my life with unbalanced abusers. I don’t have to any more. I have done my duty to get him to adulthood as best as I could. He needs to grow up out on his own now.

It is both sad and liberating at the same time the way it has transpired.

[Anonymous 3]

The word “alpha” as used today is actually “effeminate” as it was used historically.

[AttonParticipant]

You made a set of laws and he broke them, so he goes to jail or in this case he gets the boot. Your home is your kingdom and he violated the rules of that kingdom. He would be smart not to repeat the same error outside of your home. Because of what you did he might not repeat the same mistake again, but under worse circumstances.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

True Atton, well said.

And phoenix, thanks, you may be right!

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

Latest update if you’re interested: been Skype chatting with him a few minutes back and already he is starting to see that it was time to move on and that we had reached a point of not being good adult room mates. Like I said we are close and I know we will be cool down the track.

In his quieter moments I am sure he will reflect on his behaviour, as I will reflect on mine.

On the bright side: finally got the place to myself… but he knows I’m always there for him. I told him I love him, and he said the same. Best result, considering.

Thanks again guys.

[Anonymous 42]

Two weeks? His behavior deserved immediate reprisal! Talk-back was simply not tolerated in my youth. I called my father a motherf~~~er once, he never got his hands on me. I called my mother names once and only once, again, he never got his hands on me, but did poke a hole in one trying to follow me over a chain link fence. That time I knew I was in for a manly beating and ran for my life! I was GONE for 2 weeks!
If him being bigger than you is an issue, get a bat!

P.S. I had a friend with the most mild mannered father of any man I ever seen, never hit any of his kids, until my friend disrespected his mom (this kid was never hit), he called his mother a c~~~, and in no time flat his father delivered a knockout punch! Disrespect in many ways was treated more severely than stealing or lying.
That’s what’s missing today, they’re taught to obey and blindly follow authority while p~~~ing all over their parents wisdom. Some kids have actually placed themselves above the wisdom of their parents and use the states junkyard dogs against them. F~~~ MARRIAGE, F~~~ KIDS, F~~~ THE STATE! They’re all one in the same these days, they’re not your kids, they belong to the state, they’re nothing more than state property.
Men and masculinity has been stripped and raped of all it’s essence.
When we marry and have children, we become the defacto property of the state.

[Author]

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