Intro Coupled With Pain.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

John Wick wrote:

wrikudoro wrote:

Great intro, Wick. We appreciate that. Try to just tune out the negative and suspicious comments. You’re the one who understand yourself and know that you’re sincere. Pay no attention to those that question it. Fun fact: I was accused of being a female when I first posted here lol.

Very sorry for your loss.

Autolite wrote:

We both understood that we were not put on this earth to make others or each other happy. We were put here to make ourselves happy.

This resonates greatly with me. Thank you for saying it.

John Wick wrote:

There are some inspiring benefits to being alone that I never thought about before until I came here, and that’s what I’m most interested in at this point.

Same thing that attracted me to mgtow. So, welcome man. Looking forward for your next writings.

Thanks… I was hoping someone would actually read and try to understand that point. Somehow they missed it and jumped on the Unicorn Train.

You did it. You get it. You got it. It removes the entire “Unicorn” bulls~~~ theory because that’s not what this is about. People are not born round and die square. They are who they are. Like I said, I got lucky my second time around, and so didn’t she.

So does that make me a Unicorn? No, it doesn’t. We both lucked out on this one. That’s it. How we did it was different than any other relationship she or I had before. It was tough, but we did it. Example, (we have separate checking, savings and loans accounts (No Joint financing) I spent 60K on a Super Snake. Her response was “I would never spend that kind of money on a car.”

And then said “It’s a good thing we aren’t married.” jokingly. We laughed about s~~~ like this… And then she’d be the first one to tell me she was happy for me and my (personal) achievement in getting the car.

I was making myself happy getting the car. She was happy not being on the hook for it with me. ( She was here to make herself happy – she did. I was here to make myself happy – I did. It just worked well for us.

Thanks for pointing that little line out to others.

I’m starting to like this place…..

Do you understand what they are saying when they say you found a “unicorn”? It seems like you might not, because the alternative is you are saying that a good women who won’t pursue hypergamy, who will be loyal, and who won’t be all the other thing we chronicle here repeatedly IS NOT RARE AT ALL.

The unicorn is the NAWALT that we were told existed, and we never found, but apparently you did. So why does it bother you, that term? You don’t think it is rare?

[,Participant 1301]

John Wick wrote:

Nobody seems to care that I got royally f~~~ed after getting married.

This isn’t stenciled on your bathroom mirror yet >?

Welcome John.

When people come in strong and expect instant comradere there is a feeling out period. Time will prove all out, in us as well as you on the fit. S~~~ tests are repulsive, taking a man’s word up front is the normal. The seas have been full of whales and tuna so take up aboard and enjoy the voyage.
Squeeze a hand grab a drink, and trade a punch with us. Here we are, to good times.

Losing anyone close is painful. Keep the memories joyful.

with joy/without hate

[Anonymous 13]

Welcome.

I’m truly sorry for your loss. If I’d found someone like you did and had had 18 years of fun, joy, and love etc then I’d be pretty broke up and feeling very lost. It’s always the good ones that seem to have to check out.

Your first marriage sounds like the typical and very predictable nightmare we’ve all been through. You work hard, get married, create a life and do your best only to be cheated on, f~~~ed over and lose a house. It really f~~~ing stinks.

Usually after that, a lot of us are MGTOW, without knowing the name. We decide, like you did back then, never f~~~ing again.

I would say the relationship you were blessed to find and one that lasted 18 years was yet more proof that marriage is a nothing but croc of s~~~. A fraudulent ‘marriage contract’ that changes how folk interact with each other.

That freedom you both had from each other financially, and the ability to walk away as you came in, is to me exactly how it should be.

Marriage is the problem in this life, marriage with a self entitled c~~~ who has the backing of the courts and the cops on speed dial.

What you had was something quite different and a true equal companion. I did shed a tear reading it, as there were times early on in my marriage I couldn’t have imagined life with out her. I loved her and thought we were going the distance. Then she turned into an utter f~~~ing c~~~ and I spent years imagining life WITHOUT HER!

I completely agree with you now, you’re ‘at risk’ found yourself alone again after having someone decent all those years. What you had was very rare though and I’m glad you can see it.

Even compared to the time you first got together 18 years ago, so around 1998, 1999? Things have changed massively with women and their attitude. That is the time the internet really starting taking off, by 2005 “c~~~book” was born and now we have the most miserable, soul sucking, self entitled, narcisstic, selfie obsessed culture of ‘women’ creatures out there.

You would be nothing but a house, good salary and pension to them now. What are the chances of winning the lottery twice?

Go your own way from here on out, find a level of happy in something else.

If there’s too many memories in the place I’d consider moving, a whole new fresh life. You’re in such a good position money wise and have many options. Those girlfrends of hers and the ones coming out the woodwork, I’d cut them from your life completely and move on. She was special for the time you were with her, these others not so much, and are ready to pounce while you’re vulnerable. They’re modern women.

Just before Christmas is still no time at all. You’re not through the grieving process by a long chalk, so just be gentle with yourself, look for nothing, expect nothing. Do only things that make you feel good. Hobbies, anything. Go out grab lunch alone. Seriously get out there and do things yourself that you once did as a couple.

I actually enjoy going out for lunch alone now, I get to people watch and it’s a kinda peace I never had before.

Living alone gets better the longer you do it, you reach a point where you don’t want anyone to compromise it in any way.

Good luck and keep us up to date with how it’s all going over the coming year.

[Anonymous 1]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

The unicorn is the NAWALT that we were told existed, and we never found, but apparently you did. So why does it bother you, that term? You don’t think it is rare?

Try this link to check the terms

Glossary

[Anonymous 0]

Hey John,

Some of the advice on widowerhood I got from using Widownet.org and talking to others guys in the same position. You may find the same kind of vetting process there because malicious trolls are everywhere and they don’t care about a grieving guys pain but they get outted pretty quick.
One of the forums there was called “Men’s Locker Room” and you guessed it; it was heavily patrolled by the widows. Just be cautious.

Next item. Thank you for thinking that I was a vet, but I don’t deserve it. For most of my working career, I was a contract teacher and a large part of that was teaching courses for the Military (end of service) and Corrections Dept (pre-release programs) in Canada. So some of the terminology rubbed off. A lot of the other time, I taught life skills and everyday English to new immigrants. In life skills, for instance, I had to teach guys from Ethiopia/Sudan that it was NOT OK to look at a scantily clad young woman on the street and ask her “How much”. And these guys weren’t being malicious, they just honest to God did not know.

On to life after her.
One minute, one task, at a time. The first thing I had to do was pass on her jewellery to her daughter and our granddaughter. That was all I could do for three days. Next was emptying her drawers, one drawer per day. You get the idea. My feeling was that there was 365 days in a year and if I could deal with one thing per day then after 1 year the greiving process would be over and I could move on. WRONG!! It takes years.
Anyway, enough for now

PM me so I can give you my private MGTOW email. I’m not comfortable sharing too much more on an open forum.

[Y_Participant 4591]

Welcome John. I am sorry for your loss. We do have a breaking-in season but that is par for the course.

First and foremost we are MEN – brothers-in-arms. We blow up sometimes but that passes quickly. You couldn’t ask for a better bunch anywhere. I hope we can leave any teething issues behind us and start again.

We each come to MGTOW for different reasons. I am in no position to judge your manner of getting here. It would appear you are still hurting (of course) and you still have a way to go.

The brothers here have personal experiences like you and you WILL get through this. One step at a time.

Peace and strength. You are not alone.

[Silver FoxParticipant 2766]

Hey John Wick, thanks for sharing your story.

It seems you had a relatively good life together in your second relationship before it was cut short by cancer. I think you’re on the right path now… you had a pretty good experience, and the odds of you getting screwed over in another relationship are high. So quit while you’re ahead and coast on the good memories. 🙂

"Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." --Apostle Paul

[NeverAFGParticipant 20]

John Wick wrote:

In fact we were so slow, we didn’t have sex until nearly 5 months in. We spent a huge amount of time together. Both of us were still very apprehensive considering the ringer we’d both been put through with our so-called “marriages”. So we took things very, very slow for a couple of years.

Somewhat contradictory statements here.

John Wick wrote:

I bought the house and it was in my name only. She paid half the mortgage.

She was willing to pay half the mortgage and not ask for any equity stake?

John Wick wrote:

She got screwed and lost everything in her divorce. Her husband’s parents were well to do and hired the best lawyer for their son. She couldn’t afford to fight it and was forced to walk away from it all. She left with her clothes and her car. That was it.

She had a SMV of 10 at age 26 and he still divorced her? If he was rich or had rich parents, why would she not want a piece? If she was making a good salary, why couldn’t she afford to hire a lawyer to get her a fair deal? Hard to believe the courts would be this unfair to a woman no matter how incompetent the lawyer especially in a Commonwealth jurisdiction.

John Wick wrote:

we arranged our relationship in such a way that either one could just walk away anytime they wanted and for whatever reason. That was the deal.

Please explain how. I would like to know how you can co-habitate with a woman without the common law deemed marriage BS.

I don’t think you are a woman but I do wonder if you are a trojan horse or troll. MGTOW/Red-Pill has women’s nature nailed down to a tee so any large deviations from the norm need further explanation.

Women can have their freedom as long as I have mine.

[Author]

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