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NeverAFG 2 years, 10 months ago.
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Hey Men!
I’ve been checking in on this sight for a couple of weeks now. Below is just some basic insight on my situation.When I was 18 I purchased an acre of land. By the time I was 22, I had a new house built on that land. It was my house. Then it happened. I got married. What a f~~~ing mistake that was.
I was married for 10 years and had two boys during the marriage. Towards the end of it she was f~~~ing some other guy behind my back. Maxed out credit cards I didn’t know I even had. I know what a surprise huh? I just couldn’t handle it any longer. Before and throughout the entire marriage she only worked part-time a few days a week. I carried the load Non-stop and held down two jobs- one full-time and one part-time. I was the go-getter and worked for what I wanted. As we all know now, when a couple gets married, the guy wants everything to stay the same and the c~~~ wife wants to change everything.All she did was bitch and moan about me and money. When I left, I took a job offer in a different state. That’s when I found out how much my wife really loved me. The Family Court jammed it up my ass. I ended up having to pay my mortgage payments, plus an additional 30k a year in child support. She was allowed to remain in the “Marital Home” (my ass – it was mine before I got married) until the youngest one graduated from high school. And let’s not forget within a few months of being final, the new boyfriend that ended up living in my f~~~ing house at my expense. Some men are nothing but scum sucking f~~~ing lazy leaches.
Fast forward a few years – both of my kids bailed on her and relocated to live with me. I put them through high school – college and they are out on their own and doing well. Anyway, been there, done that and didn’t even get the f~~~ing T-shirt just like so many of you guys.
I swore up and down that I would NEVER get married again. I told myself that if I even seriously thought about it, I would just go find a woman I f~~~ing hate, buy her a house and move on. It would be much cheaper and easier.As my divorce was wrapping up, I ended up meeting this girl at a business function in town. All I can say was she was absolutely stunning. She was a petite 5ft-3 blonde, 110 pounds soaking wet. She had a perfect, body, smile and not a single physical defect. Not a single one. Then when she spoke, she became even more attractive to me. She was smart, well educated and 5 years younger than I was. I was 31 and she was 26. After the function some of us went to the bar. She was one of them. As we were talking I mentioned my divorce. Come to find out her divorce settled a month prior. My first instinct was to just say goodnight and walk away. I thought, how could someone this f~~~ing beautiful be single? The next thing that came to mind was she was just my ex-wife in disguise.
As we talked she made the statement she would NEVER get married again, under any circumstances. She got screwed and lost everything in her divorce. Her husband’s parents were well to do and hired the best lawyer for their son. She couldn’t afford to fight it and was forced to walk away from it all. She left with her clothes and her car. That was it. She said she got a divorce because all he wanted to do was control her. Where she went, what she did, who she could converse with. He maintained the finances and so on. He would give her an allowance even though she was an equal contributor to the household finances. He did this to hide the fact he was banging some other chick –one she knew and trusted as a friend. The girl he was f~~~ing ended up moving into her house and living wit her ex- husband. This was the SAME f~~~ing thing I went through. I couldn’t believe it.
As things progressed we became very close and started a relationship together. I had my apartment, and she had hers. That worked for both of us. We took things slow. In fact we were so slow, we didn’t have sex until nearly 5 months in. We spent a huge amount of time together. Both of us were still very apprehensive considering the ringer we’d both been put through with our so-called “marriages”. So we took things very, very slow for a couple of years.
She didn’t have or want kids. Great! I didn’t want any more kids. Could this be true? Anyway, we had a million talks about marriage and what a relationship should be. We both were sour from marriage and saw things from the same angle. I was offered a job in another state and we didn’t want to be apart so she quit her job and relocated with me. We had very clear boundaries. The only joint checking account we had was for housing expenses only. I bought the house and it was in my name only. She paid half the mortgage. The cable and lights were in her name and we split the cost through this account as well as food. That was it.
I had one car in my name; she had hers in her name. We each had our own separate checking and savings, retirement accounts. We used these to pay for anything outside the basic household expenses. Didn’t think of it then, but we both had the attitude, my money=my rules. So whenever she or I would buy what we wanted, we did and the other one never suffered from it or complained about it. As long as the joint account took care of the basics she didn’t care what I spent my money on. I didn’t care what she spent hers on either or how much of it. What was mine was mine, and what was hers was hers. Plain and simple, but the basics came first. No exception.
She was just like me in almost every way -very independent and financially responsible and we were both very cautious about being taken to the cleaners AGAIN. She was her own person. That’s what made her even more attractive. She didn’t “need” me to survive financially, and I didn’t need her for that either. I make around 100k, she made around 65k. Since we were both screwed by marriage in the past, we arranged our relationship in such a way that either one could just walk away anytime they wanted and for whatever reason. That was the deal. No questions asked. No lawyers or courts, and no fighting over money or assets. She was not going to get screwed again and neither was I. Not financially or emotionally for that matter.
When we moved, she secured a great paying job within the first three weeks of landing and remained at the same place for 16 years. From the moment we got here, and form that point forward she could step out anytime she wanted and not have to worry about being able to survive on her own. I either, as I made nearly twice what she did. We both understood that we were not put on this earth to make others or each other happy. We were put here to make ourselves happy. We essentially removed all of the forms of control over each other from the start and stuck to it. No joint credit cards, car loans etc. No financial support whatsoever, only emotional support and intimacy, and lots of it too. That was our only joint investment. That’s all we had to deal with since all the other relationship bulls~~~ was taken out of the equation right from the start. The end result was we treated each other with respect and did it well. There was nothing to be dissatisfied with or fight about.
The hardest part of my relationship with her was that guys were always hitting on her or trying to ask her out, because she wasn’t married and didn’t wear a ring and she was just so pretty. (I really couldn’t blame them) She was honest and would tell me when this would happen. Not to p~~~ me off, but to make sure I knew she wasn’t hiding anything from me. She actually went and bought a cheap wedding ring and wore it 24/7 so guys would just leave her alone. She didn’t want the drama from them. Unreal huh?
Our main rule was to be honest and trustworthy with each other. If we were to do that, being happy, enjoying life and each other, and having fun together would come by default. We could address and take care of any alleged or perceived issue without hiding it and brooding over time and causing extensive and unnecessary damage to our relationship. And it did tenfold. Day in and day out for a total of 18 years I would look at her and wonder how in the f~~~ did I get this lucky? She was a health nut, so smart and soooooo beautiful. I loved her with everything I had. I often thought there has to be a catch to all of this. I would later find out there was, and it would be more than even I could comprehend.
Then it all came crashing down around me. I know what you’re thinking and no, that’s not it. Last spring she started acting very strange. Had sudden fears driving, being in shopping centers, and general social anxieties that made things difficult for her to go through a normal day. Completely unlike her, and became worse within a few short months.Late last June she wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor. She was “late” and thought she might be pregnant but couldn’t imagine how that could happen. She was too well organized to forget taking the pill and swore she didn’t miss any. After a few tests, it was discovered she had cancer. They thought with Chemo and other treatments, she’d be okay. She would not be because it had spread to her brain. I buried her three days before Christmas 2016. She didn’t make it 6 f~~~ing months. 18 years of fun and love and doing all of the right things together –the way it should be. SHE IS F~~~ING GONE FOREVER. She was only 44 years old. I know that I hit the jackpot when we found each other, and she was one in ten million, or more. All that girl ever wanted was the freedom to do the right thing. She got it and was cut short by 30 years or more. That just p~~~es me off.
The main reason I’m here is due to the fact I was searching online as to how to cope with such a loss and being alone at the same time. It was just her and I living life the way it was intended.
One forum had a reference to this site. I need to hold on tight for the long ride ahead which is just being alone. I am not looking for a relationship. It’s the last f~~~ing thing I want. Some women have already come out of the woodwork contacting me and inquiring how I’m doing. They never did this before, but now? Why? I see a scam, and need to stay clear of it.This site does offer a dual purpose in a sense for me. There are some inspiring benefits to being alone that I never thought about before until I came here, and that’s what I’m most interested in at this point. But also, I know that what I had with her will never, ever be again with anyone else. That is just impossible, period. And because of that I need to make certain, there’s not a chance in hell some useless lazy f~~~ing bitch even remotely similar or like the one I married years ago that is still alive and breathing air they have no right to, doesn’t end up on my doorstep and try and cross the threshold to my house.
I was stupid once, and lucked out big the second time. There will be no other.
Glad to be here…Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
We tend to forget just how cruel and ‘unfair’ nature can be. We just need to deal with it as best we can. I myself deal with it by never allowing myself to get attached to anyone or anything that I couldn’t handle losing on a moment’s notice.
They say that “Life is loss”. We all have to deal with it eventually…
OK. Rough story. Glad you’re here with us. I’ve dated literally hundreds of women and NONE of them were close to being a Unicorn. If you knew one, even for a short time, consider yourself very blessed. SW.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
Anonymous18Sorry to hear about your NAWALT dying from cancer.
But sorry again to say this place isn’t quite for you to mourn the death of a loved one and deal with your alone years ahead. That is not what mgtow is for.
But as a man (which hopefully you are)- a warm welcome.
Good intro,
Enjoyed reading (if that’s the right phrase), I am here for similar reasons. Wife, Unicorn, died of Brain tumour at 47. We had struggled financially for 8 years and were just about to move into a good phase of life that we could both enjoy and she was struck down, (all in my intro).
I too compare what is out there today dating wise and am sickened by the gold digging shallow baby momas who want a new sucker for their messed up lives. I didn’t struggle and save with my wife for years to blow the rewards on someone she would despise.
Hence I have given up on dating or commitment to a woman in my age range ever again. MGTOW helps with this decision and makes it easy to see the underlying motives of damsels in distress who ocaisionally hit on me.
The Anti Feminist aspect of this philosophy is also appealing as I was put through the emotional ringer for over a decade by a previous feminist girlfriend.
On the positive side, it makes life less stressful not trying to live up to society’s false expectations and the money I save gives me a humble but comfortable life.
I understand your viewpoint, share your loss, and welcome you to this forum.
Greg Honda.
It's Time to get Wise
OK. Rough story. Glad you’re here with us. I’ve dated literally hundreds of women and NONE of them were close to being a Unicorn. If you knew one, even for a short time, consider yourself very blessed. SW.
As dumb as this sounds, I’m thankful my EW was a selfish bitch, that’s what led me to her. Truth is, I’ve never met a woman that had actually been f~~~ed over in a divorce before. Very rare to say the least. Not sure about the Unicorn, but it made her very protective of her own self sufficiency and she refused to rely on anyone for her own financial well-being. But like I said, there will be no other – impossible.
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Sorry to hear about your NAWALT dying from cancer.
But sorry again to say this place isn’t quite for you to mourn the death of a loved one and deal with your alone years ahead. That is not what mgtow is for.
But as a man (which hopefully you are)- a warm welcome.
Read the last two paragraphs. I’m not here to mourn. And yeah, I’m a f~~~ing MAN.
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Anonymous18Brother no offence to you but if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t look twice at mgtow.
16 years with a unicorn and you still buy what we have to say? What gives?
I am not sure I understand what convinced you to be here and not search for another unicorn.
Don’t mind me asking but why do you like mgtow philosophy other than trying to find meaning in solitude?
I am curious.
Brother no offence to you but if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t look twice at mgtow.
16 years with a unicorn and you still buy what we have to say? What gives?
I am not sure I understand what convinced you to be here and not search for another unicorn.
Don’t mind me asking but why do you like mgtow philosophy other than trying to find meaning in solitude?
I am curious.
First, learn to do math. It was 18 years. Second, you labeled her a Unicorn, not me. I had a self-sufficient girl and if that’s your definition of a Unicorn then so be it. Third, I was smoked in my first divorce, and paid over 300K in CS, AND lost MY house. It was not HERS, I built it BEFORE I was married. You’ll need to READ what I posted. I clearly state there is no other “Unicorn” as you say, so why search? That’s why I’m here. I’m on my own, going my own way.
Again, if you read the post, women have been all over me lately. I need to stay away, and need help doing it because there are times that I may become weak in the future and think there may be a chance of finding someone similar, but knowing deep inside, it won’t happen.
So I’m trying to start now. Isn’t that why you’re here? For support and insight from others and help prevent you from getting sucked back in or making the same mistakes other have done? let’s face it, unless you’re a virgin, you must have been burn’t before to be here right?
My focus is to not get involved to get burned again. After all this time, I’m still harboring anger. That’s why I’m here. Not to focus on your so-called Unicorn theme of my deceased GF.
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Anonymous5The main reason I’m here is due to the fact I was searching online as to how to cope with such a loss and being alone at the same time. It was just her and I living life the way it was intended.
One forum had a reference to this site.Do you mind if I ask what site referenced this site, when you were looking for a way to cope with your mourning, or have you forgotten it already or do you think it might be too insensitive of me to ask?
Of course, it’s only recently that she passed on, so we’d be extremely insensitive to question the inherent anomalies of your post.
It’s the same when similarly bizarre logic in introductions was used by someone who claimed to be suicidal,,,another was a total quadraplegic,,,,all were complex, intricate and well weaved stories.
In all cases, including yours, it was made politically incorrect to challenge.sniff
Anonymous0Welcome home, John Wick
Beer’s in the fridge
Cut him some slack, guys. He just wants to talk and there enough widowers here to help.Wow that could have been my intro.
Here’s mine:
Check it out.
Greg Honda has a similar experience, as well
Believe me when I say that I know how you feel.
My late wife died at 52 on the day after Christmas 2007.
Literally, in my arms.
All I have found since then are gold digging whores. One of them, a married woman, propositioned me at my wife’s funeral.
PM me if you want to talk.
Don’t know if the link will work. First time I tried it. If it doesn’t just copy and paste. Look forward to hearing from you.
P.S.
A site that I found helpful was widownet.org
Welcome again, BrotherThe main reason I’m here is due to the fact I was searching online as to how to cope with such a loss and being alone at the same time. It was just her and I living life the way it was intended.
One forum had a reference to this site.Do you mind if I ask what site referenced this site, when you were looking for a way to cope with your mourning, or have you forgotten it already or do you think it might be too insensitive of me to ask?
Of course, it was only three days ago that she passed on, so we’d be extremely insensitive to question the inherent anomalies of your post.
It’s the same when similarly bizarre logic in introductions was used by someone who claimed to be suicidal,,,another was a total quadraplegic,,,,all were complex, intricate and well weaved stories.sniff
SNIFF your ass. Come on guys. Really?
Is this how this site really operates? Are you f~~~ing joking me????????????????????????
I’m not looking to mourn. This was MY experience with the good and bad of the women in my life. For f~~~s sake, have just a little respect. She died the week before Christmas. I buried THREE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, NOT THREE DAYS AGO. Can you f~~~ing idiots actually read?
And the site was reference was mensdivorce.com/
Is this bulls~~~ interrogation over now? WTF?
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Anonymous42Can you f~~~ing idiots actually read?
Yes we can read, between the lines and everything. Who you calling f~~~ing idiot? Joker got banned!
Anonymous1Welcome, John Wick – if that’s even your real name 🙂
Welcome home, John Wick
Beer’s in the fridge
Cut him some slack, guys. He just wants to talk and there enough widowers here to help.Wow that could have been my intro.
Here’s mine:<iframe class=”wp-embedded-content” sandbox=”allow-scripts” security=”restricted” style=”position: absolute; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px);” src=”/forums/topic/peace-at-last/embed/#?secret=XMvtPZAj0t” data-secret=”XMvtPZAj0t” width=”500″ height=”282″ title=”“Peace at Last” — MGTOW” frameborder=”0″ marginwidth=”0″ marginheight=”0″ scrolling=”no”></iframe>
Check it out.
Greg Honda has a similar experience, as well
Believe me when I say that I know how you feel.
My late wife died at 52 on the day after Christmas 2007.
Literally, in my arms.
All I have found since then are gold digging whores. One of them, a married woman, propositioned me at my wife’s funeral.
PM me if you want to talk.
Don’t know if the link will work. First time I tried it. If it doesn’t just copy and paste. Look forward to hearing from you.
P.S.
A site that I found helpful was widownet.org
Welcome again, BrotherThanks M52… Greatly appreciated. I read your post and the very end was exactly the same as mine. It’s been three months since she passed. Since then many of her girlfriends have contacted me. They want to know how i’m doing, if I need anything and so on.
I started to fall for it, but then realized not a one of them ever contacted me when my girlfriend was alive. Only after. I thought they might actually care and it took me awhile to catch on. Bringing me food and conversations, and making comments of what a nice house I have. Questions like , I know it’s early, but you’ll find someone else. That sort of s~~~. Just made me a bit jumpy and I was out of my comfort zone.
Same for you?
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Can you f~~~ing idiots actually read?
Yes we can, between the lines and everything. Who you calling f~~~ing idiot? Joker got banned!
You can’t even do that right so Blow me.. I don’t care what you think so f~~~ off.
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
I am trying to understand, especially knowing some good brothers (M52 and Greg Honda) are vouching for the experience.
I know there were times, quite a few years, during my Blue pill daze that if my wife had died I would have eternally thought her to be NAWALT – the best woman that ever lived etc. But she didn’t die. She lived, got fat, cheated, lied, betrayed, stole etc. So it is a little out of my wheelhouse I suppose.
I just wonder how many guys had the “About Schmidt” experience. Mourning the loss of their unicorn and then finding the stack of letters from her long time lover in the closet.
Anyway, welcome to the forum. Not sure how we can help, but hopefully you are on the up and up and can even help us some as well.
Welcome, John Wick – if that’s even your real name
No it’s not my real name. If you ever get a chance to see the movie watch it. Chapter 2 just came out last week. It’s a man’s man movie. Watch the trailer. You’ll like it.
Don't ever get married. Find a woman you fucking HATE and buy her a house. It's cheaper and easier.
Anonymous1No it’s not my real name. If you ever get a chance to see the movie watch it. Chapter 2 just came out last week. It’s a man’s man movie. Watch the trailer. You’ll like it
I was obviously joking.
I’ve seen both.
Anonymous42You can’t even do that right so Blow me.. I don’t care what you think so f~~~ off.
GO F~~~ YOURSELF ASSHOLE!
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