I am Losing It. I am Not Doing Well.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

For anyone who has seen my posts over the past couple of months, you know that I have embraced the MGTOW lifestyle. I have lived the MGTOW lifestyle before I had any idea that there was a name for it. My whole life essentially.

Well you know what? The loneliness is destroying me. I don’t think a human being is supposed to feel unwanted, unloved, not needed, and basically invisible all his life. That is precisely how I have felt pretty much for as long as I can remember.

While I may not have an interest in a traditional/ vanilla relationship……..I do desire a relationship with a woman. But none of them give me the time of day. I just can’t relate to any woman. It’s so much harder now than it was in the 90’s. Back then it was so easy to meet women. I just don’t have any kind of connection with these modern day women.

I can sit here and pretend that life is great without women. But it would be a lie. I just don’t feel good like this anymore.

I am NOT quitting MGTOW. I just don’t know how I am supposed to live my life happy…..if I do not have a woman in my life. Someone who loves me and cares about me.

 

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Several things you can do:

* Get a pet.  A pet will need you, and as you feed it, it can show you attention and affection.

* Get a hobby.  Focus on building and doing something.

* Volunteer.  Find some cause to work on where you can see you will make a difference.

* Decouple your state of life from your worth.

* Find some purpose to your life, and what you can become and work on it.  Find your way and work on it there.  Focus on this.  Make it something bigger than yourself.

* Expect the loneliness to happen. It can happen, and does.  Don’t beat yourself up over it. Also, related, don’t expect yourself to be happy all the time.  You will have these moments.

* Do an inventory of what is good in your life, and state why it is good.  Give thanks for these things.  Let your mind dwell on the good things (like, do you have a job?).  Pretty much this: … whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Yes I gave you some Bible there)

* Find some places you want to improve yourself and do that.

* Get some real friends who you can talk to and share interests with.

* Try to find a church somewhere, if that works for you.

* Reframe the “I can’t get a time of day from a woman” with something else.  What I am doing now, if I don’t get that, is see that they just don’t fit with me, and I value what I want done over the need for approval.

* Try to get a hug sometime.

It isn’t great you have a woman or don’t. Idea is to find way so get empowered so it won’t suck as much.  There are costs and challenges to going MGTOW.  Don’t let anyone tell you.  Count it good if you can overcome things.  You may, in regards to this, learn what works and help other MGTOW.   This is probably one of the hardest challenges you face about being MGTOW, next to the sex stuff.  It happens.

Considering how much stuff I have gone through, and do go through, and seems like the world doesn’t want me at all, I do have to fight, and I hope you can.  There is a bunch more here.  I would say try to look for ways you would also battle depression.  There are a lot of tactics here that can happen.

I had made mention of trying to get a survival guide for MGTOW.  I want stuff like this in it.  Anyhow, hang in there.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

Thanks for posting this.
consider alternatives – going someone else’s way? sounds like a great idea to you?

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[DurdenParticipant 1051]

You have to do what makes you happy and if think pursuing relationships is the way to go do it. If do go for it I hope you do find a good woman but never forget your playing with fire. If your truly serious about it I would advise you to head overseas for a vacation where the women are more traditional. Just give it a shot it could not hurt. At the very least you have a decent vacation at the best who knows.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

[griffinParticipant 189]

No specific rule stating you can’t have a women in your life….just don’t get married.

At the end of the day life should be about doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy…and only you know what that is going to take.

[Anonymous 12]

What do you want from female company? Do you want someone to hang out with or have sex with or do you just want some female attention for an hour or so when you feel like it?

If you just want female attention every so often you could get massages, I mean legitimate ones, a woman caresses your body even if it isn’t sexual and you might chat a little. It really depends on how much female company you want in the end but an hour of massage would still be cheaper than a date in most cases.

You could consider what I did which was a Sugar Baby but those women or most of them are self entitled bitches who will p~~~ you off and not want to be around anyone they wouldn’t like to be around for free anyway.

There is a website called “MeetUp” it has all sorts of groups on it from all over the world, maybe you could join one of those and socialize a little, some of the groups are really simple things like just dinner outings etc. Join up and type some of your interests in and see what happens? http://www.meetup.com/

Speaking of that MeetUp site maybe we could start a MGTOW meet up group??

I hope your loneliness improves.

 

[WolfParticipant 890]

griffin wrote:

No specific rule stating you can’t have a women in your life….just don’t get married.

Truest words ever spoken!

Anonymous wrote:

You could consider what I did which was a Sugar Baby but those women or most of them are self entitled bitches who will p~~~ you off and not want to be around anyone they wouldn’t like to be around for free anyway.

Yes, I’ve tried that too, and it was hard on the brain.

[AFTParticipant 2722]

I went through that stage a while back.

Get an internet dating account, lower your standards, go out and f~~~ any woman that will comply, that cured me, but be careful with protection.

Sounds to me like you are looking for that Disney fantasy unicorn, when you find her let science clone her DNA, because believe me if she existed I’d have found her by now. I’m nothing if not pragmatic, and I know the mind plays tricks on us, it’s just that I have AWALTS on tap, so I can’t delude myself, sounds like you need companionship, and you’ll never get that from a woman.

Focus on creating a life you’re proud of.

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[MyselfParticipant 353]

I felt the same way last winter. Basically hit rock bottom as I was dealing with what I thought was a huge hole in my life – the absence of a meaningful relationship.  Nothing I had accomplished up to that point made any difference at all. Nothing was giving me satisfaction. If I could not share it with that significant other, to love and be loved, I could not see the point of any of it. I spent ten years being single, figuring myself out, gaining a bit of success, only to feel that the effort was a complete waste of time since when I finally went looking for a girl all I met were the “modern day women” you describe. Pass.

Part of what pulled me out was just survival instinct.  I had to make a mental correction or things were just going to fall apart completely.

Another part, a bigger part, was just realizing that hole in my life is not fundamental. It is not real. It is a consequence of a story I have been telling myself since I was a kid. It was like a switch was flipped in my brain.

I went from feeling “unloved” to feeling “pensive”.  From “unwanted” to a little “lost”. From “invisible” to “bored”.

My emotions went from being a response to an external situation I could not control to a reflection of my inner self, which is something I can control.

I do this almost every night: make a list of things you want to do tomorrow, and make the list long enough so that you won’t have enough time to complete every task. One of the worst “feelings” is boredom.  Lots of people mistake boredom for loneliness.  The former you can control, the latter not so much – but they are one and the same. Keep busy and do things for yourself. The list should contain everything from little chores that need to be done (reorganize the closet), to making progress on a multi-day task (read the next chapter in a book), to taking up a new or old hobby (go for a bike ride). Make the list different every day until you find those things that are within reach and make you happy.

There is definitely something out there for you that will bring pure joy, and the chances of you finding it are so much higher than meeting that “perfect” woman its not even funny – one is almost guaranteed to happen and the other is just a fantasy. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THIS WORLD than that fairytale we’ve been telling ourselves up to this point.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

You DON’T have a problem ….. women do.

We men are built for love of a woman. Breasts, ass and soft skin. God they feel wonderful …. and of course we all miss that.

I catch myself doing that stupid sigh …. wondering ‘what if’ ….. shall I pick the phone up.

Then I remember the S~~~…… all of it. All the way from period blood left on toilet seat to f~~~ing other guys to custody battle.

They are horny, young, beautiful, exquisite …. black widows.

You can have female friends or you can f~~~ women…… you can’t have both .. well you can … but one will destroy the other.

There is a huge difference between loneliness and isolation. So that’s where you start to recover.

Loneliness can be delt with by all the above suggestions.

Isolation is either forced or voluntary. The former needs positive action … and again the ‘getting out’ comments are correct.

I’m glad you’ve spoken about this ….. because it can become a silent killer …. but you’re not alone in this and the more we talk …. the better we understand.

You are very welcome to come visit the UK and spend time with us here as my guest ….. but you can’t f~~~ me ok ☺

[chirParticipant]

Doin’

Volunteer.  You will meet lots of people and you will find friends through it.  I donate and bring foods to food banks from my gardens.  (mini-farm)  I volunteer during thanksgiving and christmas.   You will find friends and you will feel good helping other people.

 

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

After my Divorce I am definitely MGTOW but I still like the company of women.  I wouldn’t be stupid enough to marry one or have children with one but I do still date.   Definitely start up an online dating account (POF is good if you are looking for casual sex) and just start messaging women.  Even if nothing comes of it, messaging a few women from time to time gives you something to do when you are bored.

Also Meetup is another good idea as there seems to be lots of single women who go to these things.

For me, MGTOW is all about doing what I want, when I want with who I want.  If I want to stay in all weekend watching porn, playing Call of Duty and eating takeaway I can do it without anyone moaning at me.  If I fancy some company and sex I can go out with a woman for the evening and not have to put up with her day to day bulls~~~ the rest of the time.

My Stuff and money are mine and I have no risk of losing half of it.

I think MGTOW means different things to different people, but at the end of the day the idea is to avoid marriage, kids and becoming a Beta provider as you will get f~~~ed over sooner or later.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Doing My Own Thing,

I both respect and appreciate your honesty and sincerity. I identify with all of the feelings you describe. NO MAN, was designed to be alone. Its simply not how we were created.

I deal with depression on other levels. But to address your concern, I would say what your feeling is entirely normal, because we were designed to desire women. The remedy?…I dont want to give bad advice, but if it is solely sex I was seeking, then I would go the craigslist online route. If its a more meaningful relationship your seeking, then I would be blunt and upfront with ANY chick you encounter, as to what you want.

I know others on this site will disagree with the latter advice, but I cant tell you how many times me being the “honest asshole” not only got me pussy, but got them to literally pay for my s~~~ when I was on hard times. Women are SOOO accustomed to men being fake douche bags, when a guy is actually authentic and sincere they TRIP over themselves. They dont know how else to respond.

Didnt mean to get off topic. I feel alone and depressed a lot, so I can relate. I lost my parents and the only family I have left is a sister, but she acts like a c~~~ most of the time. Your not alone my friend.

Resident cynic.

[BDParticipant 1146]

What a great thread, I am giving all of you an applause, awesome replies!

DoinMyOwnThing40, I’ve had some down moments, sometimes I achieve my goals and I feel lost, like maybe I thought they would make me happy or dare I say complete, but instead I feel lost…..  which brings me to…

Self-Actualization, is a never ending work in progress, your life is what you create out of it….

A deep friendship or love is a requirement of self actualization. Do you have any old friends or relatives that can fill or are filling this role?

Here is a very detailed video about self actualization, I am not a total fan of his delivery, but he definitely knows what he is talking about, and I think it is the best I could suggest for you.

Best of luck

 

 

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

Im just a young guy. So please don’t take me as  downplaying your situation. But I have also been through a “spell” or two. But during the worst one ,when a woman left at a low point in my life (funny how they say WE are the ones that dont desreve THEM if we cant take them at their worst).  It didn’t seem as simple as a spell. It seemed like I was stuck in it, and couldn’t get out. Went on for months.  Everything that I needed to do to get out of the rut was caught up in a catch 22 circle jerk system preventing me from making any progress.

That was how it looked because that was view from where I was standing.  Imagine being a lab mouse in a maze. Some of us are guilty of staying at a dead end and attemping to think our way out of it (overthinking). The problem with that is that no matter how much we imagine the way out, you cant find it that way. Thinking isnt moving. So once you have direction, the brain power part is essentially done. Looking back, what was more important was where the energy and fuel to move througj all those dead ends came from. Personally, I was f~~~in p~~~ed to be in the f~~~in maze to begin with. So anger was a good one for me. Whats yours?

But like alot of us. Once I found the cheese…it didn’t  taste as good once I found out what its made of.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

Well you know what? The loneliness is destroying me. I don’t think a human being is supposed to feel unwanted, unloved, not needed, and basically invisible all his life. That is precisely how I have felt pretty much for as long as I can remember.

There is something I am very seriously going to ask you to understand right now. I ask for your undivided attention.

Because I understand. Not because I have not been in plenty of relationships.
But because even when I was IN them – living with a woman and sleeping next to her – I was “alone”.

My very first job was a bus boy in a steak house. My second job was in the field I wanted to be in, but it was in Amsterdam (the Netherlands). I knew nobody there and didn’t speak the language. (I spoke German though). I was there for 2 years and couldn’t take it. Came back and started waiter bartending jobs feeling VERY lost and not knowing where I belonged. Back in my field of choice, I worked in a few cities and even was paid to travel.

Everywhere I laid my hat… that was my “home”.

When I was 31, I moved to Vancouver for 6 months for work. Alone again. I had a girlfriend there, but I was “alone”. AGAIN. 5 years after that…. I moved AGAIN. This time working in the travel industry. I knew NOBODY. A different city every few days. Alone again. I had a girlfriend, but I was “alone”. AGAIN.

4 years after that… I got a great offer in another country and moved AGAIN. I knew NOBODY there except a handful of people I worked with who never saw outside of work. Alone AGAIN. I had a girlfriend, but I was “alone”. AGAIN.

More than 25 years of this.

+25 years.

But I LOVE it. I have options. I have had the opportunity to get married, be a dad, and ALL of it. I could have built a “home” surrounded by fluffy friends that come and go, and I had 200 friends on Facebook. I had a very vibrant social circle when I wanted it.. but it was “empty” and lacking substance. In cities of millions of people…. I know what you’re feeling. I have had what “lonely” men think they are missing out on. And you’re not missing out on anything.

I promise. You’re not missing out on anything. Don’t think not having people around or a woman’s love is going to change it. It isn’t. She isn’t going to love you. She wants you to love HER. Understand? It’s important. She expects you to be the rock. You are the “apex”. It’s expected that it flows FROM you — not TO you. If you had your own business you would understand what I mean. Everyone will want something FROM you. Nobody will GIVE you anything. You are the “top person”. it flows down to them from you. There is no umbrella protecting you, and you will not find solace in a woman’s bosom.

I just want you to know. Don’t lose it. Keep it together. Where I was once scrambling, nervous, insecure, worried, and constantly wondering “where I belonged”, and when things were going to start flowing toward me, I eventually realized I “belong” wherever I decide to put myself. I accepted that I can expect nothing to flow TO me. It must flow FROM me. It’s one-directional and it is not negotiable.

I really hope this helps.

I don’t really remember if you said how old you are. But if you’re under 25, then I will just smile and say MAN!!! IT GETS BETTER!!! Wish I could buy you a beer. Listen very closely to this. You have been very carefully conditioned to worry and feel exactly like you are right now. It’s all designed to make you question yourself and have you feeling inadequate. This is the red pill I would prescribe for that. Have a glass of water handy. It’s a BIG one.

/video/women-are-parasites/

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I would add Meetup.com is a good place to look for things.  Find your strongest interest and meet others who share it.

This coming Thursday, I am looking to attend a Meetup on game design, that is getting off the ground, finally.  I would of stayed home and watched the NBA draft, but this came up, so I go to it.

Edit: I would also argue here, that you first do your own thing, and then see who is going the way you are heading, and supports it, and you make friends with them.

 

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

I simply want this dude to KNOW he is not alone, in feeling “alone”. I feel it myself all the time man. I dont see a way to email other members on this site, or I would email you. EVERY man feels this in life. I feel for you, because I have the same sentiments. The difference for us is that noone will be understanding. “Men” are expected to grunt it out with ZERO support. No wonder mens suicide rates are 7x that of women. Its not easy. NEVER be ashamed to reach out and tell any of us how you feel.

Its f~~~ing TOUGH when you face life with noone in your corner.

Resident cynic.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Its f~~~ing TOUGH when you face life with noone in your corner.

Telling me. I was once stuck in another country without work papers. My own LAWYER WHO I PAID was not even my corner. That was the hardest lesson I ever learned. I fired his worthless ass, and went around to find another. The FIRST WORDS out of my mouth to potential lawyers was “For your fee, I expect you to be in my corner because I am standing here on a ledge without you. I need to know you are working SOLELY in my best interests. If you won’t do that, tell me now and I will find another attorney”. The reaction on their faces (or silence on the other end) was stunning. They knew I wasn’t f~~~ing around.

Then one of them asked me if I wanted to pursue having the previous attorney disbarred. He could have done it. His practice was very shady and unreliable but it was arranged for by someone I didn’t know. He didn’t give a s~~~ about me or anything . He just wanted to get paid.

Anyone who is not in my corner has no place in my life anymore. I have discarded them all. I have carved out “friends” of 4+ years like the cancer they are. I’m not f~~~ing kidding here.

That cemented my previous point even further.
Being surrounded by “friends” (or girlfriends) doesn’t mean you’re better off!

No bulls~~~ here. That s~~~ is HARMFUL to your well-being!!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Keymaster wrote:

Anyone who is not in my corner has no place in my life anymore. I have discarded them all. I have carved out “friends” of 4+ years like the cancer they are. I’m not f~~~ing kidding here.

Key Master,

I completely agree with you here. In our society it seems it is almost as difficult to find TRUE friends as it is a faithful girlfriend. I believe that was what you intended by your post. If not, let me know…Its not an easy task these days. Hard to come by. I can count on TWO fingers the friends that have stuck with me through good times and bad. They will NOT be forgotten. I love them like family, and they likewise.

Its tough s~~~ we are expected to deal with in today’s day and age. The irony is “OUR” dilemma is equated with “manhood”. The converse is the “female” which is dealing with sluttery, lying, and falsehoods.

Irony.

Ignorance is bliss.

Resident cynic.

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