How do you deal with craving intimacy?

[ScandinavianParticipant 590]

uchibenkei wrote:

it’s natural to want companionship and intimacy. that’s why women have been so successful at using those wants to manipulate men. The problem is the love and intimacy you think you are getting is an illusion. It comes with conditions and if those conditions aren’t met, the illusion disappears. Buddha taught that the source of all misery is wanting something and not getting it. That is why people commit crimes, use others, do evil, etc. His solution was to stop wanting. Stop the desire and you will avoid misery. Easier said than done of course.

 

This I so definitely agree on!

Problem is it takes time. At least it did for me. When I was in my teens I learned some women are bad for you, in my twenties I learned most women were, and it took me half of my thirties until I realized there is no such thing as a nawalt. Every woman comes with a price tag, some more expensive and some quite cheap, and it’s not always about money; I’ve had several girlfriends who never or very seldom expected anything of monetary value to mention, but they took up time and space and I hadn’t come to know myself well enough at that time to recognize that I didn’t really have much of that to give. I think I wanted the sort of intimacy that was mentioned in the topic (not sex) but only in small portions, not being drowned in it.

But that’s the kind of insight that can’t be learned, it can only come by living.

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

Personal goals and hobbies, should do the trick in most, if not all cases.

 

Maybe get a dog, better companion than a random woman.

 

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

How do you deal with craving intimacy?

The same way I deal with my craving for a flying car. That’s another fantasy thing promised by the media and society which is completely infeasible and all examples of which are both unreasonably expensive and unacceptably dangerous.

[Bl4ckSh33pParticipant 274]

What you crave my friend is called Oxytocin. Learn to live without it.

I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard Morty then it slowly fades leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are going to do it. Break the cycle Morty, rise above, focus on science. -Rick Sanchez

[BDParticipant 1146]

Here’s a red pill….

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/dating-app-sex-offender-registry/

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Bl4ckSh33p wrote:

What you crave my friend is called Oxytocin. Learn to live without it.

Yeah, that’s the real trick.

was gonna link Love hurts by Nazareth…

In short, it’s a lie,

Living without it…good plan

Life’s hard enough

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Women are basically grownup children.  If you have had kids, you’ll understand that the only way for intimacy (not sexual, but relational) with a child is for you to be the parent in the relationship.  Otherwise they will at some point make a power grab and/or act out.

The idea that a man can have real relational intimacy with a woman is a modern myth.  We are fundamentally different and women/men can only find true relational intimacy with their own sex.  Except in very rare circumstances your wife/girlfriend cannot be your best friend, or at least not for very long.

Over the past century or so western men have generally lost the ability/understanding to be relationally intimate with other men.  I think MGTOW men are well situated to rediscover/rekindle that.  I think if MGTOW men could meet up with each other on a regular basis then true brotherly relationships would naturally emerge.

 

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

KaMtn wrote:

I’m not putting this in a homosexual manner, but get a guy. If you can find a guy you can relate with, hang out with him, talk to him, spend time and share the “bro love.” You can plays games, party, travel, and do all that s~~~ without worrying about stupid girl s~~~. Or get a bunch of good company cool best friends you can trust. If you ever have sexual desires, hook up with one night stands, or girls, strip clubs, or even escorts. Trust me, it’s extremely hard to find a decent girl in this generation and everyone knows it.

THIS.  THIS x 100000+.  My best guy friend of 16 years and I hang out all the time.  I’m actually glad to have him living right next door to my apartment, literally!  Gaming and talking with him about life in general honestly takes away a LOT of tension.  It doesn’t remove sexual tension, I know, but having a guy to TALK about those other tensions with is also relieving in a way.  If anything, he’ll relate to you a lot more than a woman will.  He’ll give you a good ear that will honestly listen and will be there for you.  What does a woman offer?  She offers you that physical intimacy you crave, but that’s about it.

[Anonymous 5]

Make some guy friends. Go to support groups even if you don’t have a drug or alcohol problem. Join a club of some sort whether its motorcycles or bowling or something else.

If you really want to, a new popular thing is paying for friends/company. It is pretty much identical to escorts, but minus the sex. Sure it is desperate as f~~~, but if you need a f~~~en hug that bad then go for it. 😛

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

So I’m 24 and I intend to never get married. I completely love MGTOW for everything it has taught me so far. But one thing I’m wondering is….how do you deal with intimacy urges which are quite common at my age. I don’t mean just sexual urges…I mean like the desire to travel with a girl, spend time together at the beach, etc. I’ve been trying to get a heavy dose of red pills in daily but I was wondering if you guys had any strategies to minimize this issue. The urges especially pop up when I see other couples at school etc.

Do the following: Whenever you see that happen again, look into exactly what is going on there that you want.  It is possible that you are missing something else in your life and leaning on that.  You have to see what is going about and then get it focused on reality.  The thing about intimacy, is that, unless the girl/woman in question really is of fit for you, getting to really know here is, at least worse, going to be boring.  At a deeper level, it will be utter terror as you get exposed to her demons.

I do believe a bunch of intimacy issues are need for approval for someone.  It is the desire to expose yourself, flaws and all, and be accepted.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[QcummerParticipant 652]

1.) when you have that ‘craving’, jerk off immediately and as soon as you climax, think of the intimacy you were just craving. Is it still there?

2.) Just like sex, intimacy gets old. We get numb as f~~~ to it.  It’s not needed regularly.

3.) Train your brain to go without. Personally, I do the jerk off method and it always works. BUT, every couple weeks I like to have a stripper sit on my lap. I can feel the chemicals in my head start to pour out..and I’m literally HIGH off my own supply for a few hours. Total cost: $50. winning!

This topic is crucial.

Thank you for bringing it up and for each an every response so far. Good stuff here.

[LupusParticipant 214]

For me it worked by really realizing that the illusion of women that I had did not exist.

Understanding, really understanding, their true nature, cured me of that desire.

Now, the companionship of good friends is all I need, and family from time to time.

 

[EndwatcherParticipant 81]

I agree with kamtn. Sometimes a feeling…isnt exactly what you first interpreted it as.

The longing for bonding, enjoying yourself, and feeling connected is completed understood as I feel that way also. and Im not 30 yet so still in the same realm as you as in age.

But, one should dissect the feeling that is looming and see if you can find a solution.

Obviously we want pussy, but convert the need for pussy to something else that willl better suit you, and I personally dont see nothing wrong with escaping to a foreign country and meeting a female to “play” with for a few weeks to get it out of your system.

The real bonding though between men is extremely strong, and not any of that fake wannabe Alpha s~~~ where dudes are trashing each other. Im talking brothers taking on tasks, having fun, starting businesses, talking, etc..etc without any of that drama that women will present.

God, how I loathe women and they constant need for someone else to satisfy them, the constant wondering if Im doing something right or wrong, the walking on egg shells, Jesus….it sucks!

With our fellowship, we are less “offended” and just brothers, no need for worry because we all know things are in good fun and WE ONT PLAY GAMES and responsibility is something that is WANTED with men, unlike women whom are constantly washing their own responsibilities on someone else.

My bad…kinda turned into a rant

[BDParticipant 1146]

Here is something from the heart, this should help

Can you feel his pain? Intimacy, really?

Lust, sex, maybe, but intimacy, naaaa.

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

Perfect- thank you all SOOOO much for the responses. I love this discussion. I’ve noted down your recommendations and seen your red pills (Whether it is the YT video or the CNN story), and I’m going to try out the recommendations. I appreciate the thoughtfulness and the openness with which you are all answering. TBH I was kind of scared that putting this question out there would get me labeled as a blue pill/mangina. Glad to see we can all be frank about it!

[Cipher HighwindParticipant 1144]

Oneforfreedom – get a dog; that should fix things.

[Anonymous 5]

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

What you are seeking…….it’s fantasy

Albert Einstein knew this fantasy was the reason men got married and made this quote
“Men marry women hoping they’ll never change, they always do.”

[Zuberi TauParticipant 10606]

At this point, I don’t give less than a damn about intimacy.

If your hormones are giving you hell, grab a towel and pay a visit to hamsterx or motherless.

 

 

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

Anonymous wrote:

Society tries to make men feel lonely and worthless without being validated by a female. So unplugging is a great idea. I do not watch TV or movies or anything mainstream.

You know i think this “need” we have is mostly artificial.I suddenly lost my “cravings” for intimacy once i stopped watching tv and exposing myself to the mainstream.

[Sessna12Participant 119]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

So I’m 24 and I intend to never get married. I completely love MGTOW for everything it has taught me so far. But one thing I’m wondering is….how do you deal with intimacy urges which are quite common at my age. I don’t mean just sexual urges…I mean like the desire to travel with a girl, spend time together at the beach, etc. I’ve been trying to get a heavy dose of red pills in daily but I was wondering if you guys had any strategies to minimize this issue. The urges especially pop up when I see other couples at school etc.

 

intimacy is a female-derived concept. as men we have physical needs. the biggest deception is that emotion is an element of the need.

Sebastian

"We can no more stop him from marrying than we can stop him from making a well researched decision to poke his eyes out with a stick."
-Sidecar

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