Hello brothers, new here

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

Hello BlackVale

Basically, de Mello is saying what these MGTOW posts are saying: You are taught specific beliefs that society want you to have, not necessarily for your benefit, but for those who want to exploit you or use you for their gain. So he says you need to examine those beliefs and how they create desires not always to your advantage, which also leads to habits that are not to your advantage. de Mello has another book that is online, called Awareness that also has many psychological insights of value:

de Mello Awareness
http://arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf

You can skip the religious stuff if you are not interested. The Vatican castigated de Mello for deviating from Christian teachings. He was merely trying to find the best ideas for people, regardless of their religion.

I see why. Self control and direction is a powerful tool for men. I have his book on the way though it should be in tomorrow!

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Hello again, BlackVale:

In those de Mello books and others, they often refer to “suffering.” They seem to have gotten the term from Buddhism, but in other works on Buddhism that I have read some have indicated it should be more like “discontent” or “dissatisfaction.” Suffering seems to imply something much more extreme.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

Hello again, BlackVale:

In those de Mello books and others, they often refer to “suffering.” They seem to have gotten the term from Buddhism, but in other works on Buddhism that I have read some have indicated it should be more like “discontent” or “dissatisfaction.” Suffering seems to imply something much more extreme.

Thats interesting. I just recieved The Way to Love and I haven’t gotten that far yet to notice. Either way, I am already finding pearls of wisdom. Thanks again for the recommendation!

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

The only two other de Mello books that are worth your time and money are the Awareness for which I already gave you the online link, and Rediscovering Life. Much of the stuff de Mello repeats in all of his books, but often there is an added bit of info or a better explanation of what he meant in the other two books. His books other than these three are mostly repeats or about religion.

The other book that I have read and reread for decades and will give you insight into your and other’s behavior is Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-reliance and Maturity by Marguerite and Willard Beecher. You may have to wait for the price to come down on Amazon for used copies as I have suggested this book quite often. Read the reviews to see how others rate it. The earliest edition had a chapter on homosexuality when the opinions about it were different and the later editions have omitted that chapter. Nevertheless, I think you will find many useful ideas in it. It you give a copy to someone, don’t expect them to return it. The Beechers had two other books that are now too expensive: The Mark of Cain: An Anatomy of Jealousy, and The Sin of Obedience.
The latter one is about conformity and imitation.

Another book that deals with human thinking and behavior is Wendell Johnson’s People in Quandaries. Again, you can read the reviews on Amazon. It is from the 1940s, and only the first 290 pages or so are relevant today. However, you don’t need to get a copy if you understand he was promoting a scientific attitude toward life. The three basic questions of the scientist that he gave are:

What do you mean by the term X, or Y, or whatever?
Be sure that you and others understand what you are referring to when you use a term. I like dogs may mean I only like Irish Setters out of 300 or so breeds of dogs.

How do you know?
Are you just guessing, making it up, or repeating what you have been programmed to say or do.

What is the evidence?
Is it from a reputable source or can it be replicated?

There are also websites that give examples of erroneous logic that can add to your knowledge. Most of all, keep on reading MGTOW. This is a precious resource for men that we older guys would have wished we had in our youth. I don’t know how long it will last, but as long as it is available, learn from the experiences of those who often had to learn the hard way.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

The only two other de Mello books that are worth your time and money are the Awareness for which I already gave you the online link, and Rediscovering Life. Much of the stuff de Mello repeats in all of his books, but often there is an added bit of info or a better explanation of what he meant in the other two books. His books other than these three are mostly repeats or about religion.

The other book that I have read and reread for decades and will give you insight into your and other’s behavior is Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-reliance and Maturity by Marguerite and Willard Beecher. You may have to wait for the price to come down on Amazon for used copies as I have suggested this book quite often. Read the reviews to see how others rate it. The earliest edition had a chapter on homosexuality when the opinions about it were different and the later editions have omitted that chapter. Nevertheless, I think you will find many useful ideas in it. It you give a copy to someone, don’t expect them to return it. The Beechers had two other books that are now too expensive: The Mark of Cain: An Anatomy of Jealousy, and The Sin of Obedience.
The latter one is about conformity and imitation.

Another book that deals with human thinking and behavior is Wendell Johnson’s People in Quandaries. Again, you can read the reviews on Amazon. It is from the 1940s, and only the first 290 pages or so are relevant today. However, you don’t need to get a copy if you understand he was promoting a scientific attitude toward life. The three basic questions of the scientist that he gave are:

What do you mean by the term X, or Y, or whatever?
Be sure that you and others understand what you are referring to when you use a term. I like dogs may mean I only like Irish Setters out of 300 or so breeds of dogs.

How do you know?
Are you just guessing, making it up, or repeating what you have been programmed to say or do.

What is the evidence?
Is it from a reputable source or can it be replicated?

There are also websites that give examples of erroneous logic that can add to your knowledge. Most of all, keep on reading MGTOW. This is a precious resource for men that we older guys would have wished we had in our youth. I don’t know how long it will last, but as long as it is available, learn from the experiences of those who often had to learn the hard way.

Thanks for the recommendations. I have begun reading the way to love and I realized something really important. I’ve been struggling from psychological abuse for so long that I am used to the struggle. It became all that I knew and I don’t know how to live without struggling with myself yet.

It’s like I’ve been aware of there being more than what I believe and that I have become awake over the past few years, but now I see the chains and am trying to break them.

Thanks again for the other recommendations and I will continue to read and be active on the site.

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