Hello brothers, new here

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Welcome BlackVale. You already show a lot of maturity and you appear to realize that you control your life and choices, because you have not allowed extreme adversity in your upbringing defeat you. You have also chosen wisely to follow MGTOW. These guys on MGTOW have been through many bitter battles with life and women and you can learn more from them that from a hundred books or lectures. We older guys only wish this information had been available when we were your age.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

Welcome BlackVale. You already show a lot of maturity and you appear to realize that you control your life and choices, because you have not allowed extreme adversity in your upbringing defeat you. You have also chosen wisely to follow MGTOW. These guys on MGTOW have been through many bitter battles with life and women and you can learn more from them that from a hundred books or lectures. We older guys only wish this information had been available when we were your age.

Thanks for your words of wisdom as well. Strangely enough, this information was always right in front of my face. The main sign may have been that I noticed my parents treated me more as a tool, while my sister was treated as a delicate flower. I would often get in trouble for things she did and my parents knew she did it. But I got in trouble because I didn’t stop it. One day my father forced me to help him do some work in the yard. He noticed that I didn’t want to help him and asked me about it. Then he said that he made me so that I could do what he said and do the work that he wanted to do. I would completely understand if he had said that because I was a man and had to learn how to do for myself. Yea it would suck, but i’m a bit of a sucker when it comes to preparing for things.

I love my parents and they took care of me physically. I’ve seen plenty of parents that didn’t give a single f~~~ about their kid. At least they had the mind to keep me off the streets and out of trouble. but that’s as far as it goes between us and they know it. I watch how my sisters treat them and they dog them out. Hell I got put out for stand up for myself when my dad was having a bipolar fit. I used to call them out on it all the time, but i’m done wasting my breath. I wish I could fix this, but I know I can’t. I can’t open someone else’s eyes. So I just stay in my room and keep to myself, and heal as much as I can.

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

You are going to have to deal with problem people so it is best to arm yourself against the both male and female persons and their tactics and behaviors. Here are a few books I suggest you read that might help you with that task. You can find gift cards for Amazon at some stores and get used copies at Amazon.

Marguerite and Willard Beecher
Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity

The Beechers will give you insight on many of the behaviors you are dealing with, including your own. I have read and reread this book and some of the others below for decades. Read the reviews of this book on Amazon, and you will see others consider it very important.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
You don’t need to get into the religion part of de Mello’s books if you don’t want to. He was a realist who also was a psychotherapist besides being a priest. It is his psychological insights that you may find useful.

Anthony de Mello
The Way to Love

He should have made the title: The Way to Reality.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Anthony de Mello
Rediscovering Life: Awaken to Reality
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This one is online if you don’t want to purchase a hard copy. It will give you an idea of what he is saying.

Anthony de Mello
Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality
http://arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf

The rest of de Mello’s books are repeats of these or deal with religion.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Donald G. Smith
The Joy of Negative Thinking

He explains one of the most powerful words in the English language: NO, and how and when to use it.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Since you mentioned you are in school this book might help. Check the library for a copy. The first 39 pages are all you need of it and you can photocopy those.

Josh Kaufman
The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything…Fast!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another one that might help sharpen your thinking:

Kodish, Susan Presby
Drive Yourself Sane: Using the Uncommon Sense of General Semantics. Third edition.

I have read similar or earlier books about this and it has made a profound impact on my job performance when I was still working. Now retired.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Internet has various sites that show manipulative tactics people use, so I suggest you also check out those.
Arm yourself! Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself from toxic people, even if they might be family. My niece told me she has had to do that with her family.

Good luck to you too. You already show more common sense than most young persons.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

You are going to have to deal with problem people so it is best to arm yourself against the both male and female persons and their tactics and behaviors. Here are a few books I suggest you read that might help you with that task. You can find gift cards for Amazon at some stores and get used copies at Amazon.

Marguerite and Willard Beecher
Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity

The Beechers will give you insight on many of the behaviors you are dealing with, including your own. I have read and reread this book and some of the others below for decades. Read the reviews of this book on Amazon, and you will see others consider it very important.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
You don’t need to get into the religion part of de Mello’s books if you don’t want to. He was a realist who also was a psychotherapist besides being a priest. It is his psychological insights that you may find useful.

Anthony de Mello
The Way to Love

He should have made the title: The Way to Reality.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Anthony de Mello
Rediscovering Life: Awaken to Reality
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This one is online if you don’t want to purchase a hard copy. It will give you an idea of what he is saying.

Anthony de Mello
Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality
http://arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf

The rest of de Mello’s books are repeats of these or deal with religion.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Donald G. Smith
The Joy of Negative Thinking

He explains one of the most powerful words in the English language: NO, and how and when to use it.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Since you mentioned you are in school this book might help. Check the library for a copy. The first 39 pages are all you need of it and you can photocopy those.

Josh Kaufman
The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything…Fast!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another one that might help sharpen your thinking:

Kodish, Susan Presby
Drive Yourself Sane: Using the Uncommon Sense of General Semantics. Third edition.

I have read similar or earlier books about this and it has made a profound impact on my job performance when I was still working. Now retired.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Internet has various sites that show manipulative tactics people use, so I suggest you also check out those.
Arm yourself! Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself from toxic people, even if they might be family. My niece told me she has had to do that with her family.

Good luck to you too. You already show more common sense than most young persons.

Thanks, these look like they are good reads! I will be checking them out. My niece has also said that she has to deal with it. Whats worse is that she is in a house full of women.

[Chris BurnettParticipant 122]

Welcome brother, its all good in this hood. Nice to meet a fellow southerner here.

I like math, see: the cost of raising a child > child support payment$ = A bitch getting hit in the face with a reality brick!!

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

In case you have not yet done so, read the Esther Vilar book,
The Manipulated Man. Here is the online link.

Vilar
http://commons.wikimannia.org/images/Esther-Vilar_The-Manipulated-Man.pdf

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Chris Burnett wrote:

Welcome brother, its all good in this hood. Nice to meet a fellow southerner here.

Cheers man. Its always great to meet another southern brother! Hope things are going well with you too.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

In case you have not yet done so, read the Esther Vilar book,
The Manipulated Man. Here is the online link.

Vilar
http://commons.wikimannia.org/images/Esther-Vilar_The-Manipulated-Man.pdf

Thanks, I have read it years ago. I have a hardback copy. It was one of the first RP books I read once I made the full transition to MGTOW.

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

BlackVale wrote:

Thanks, I have read it years ago. I have a hardback copy. It was one of the first RP books I read once I made the full transition to MGTOW.

Yes, Vilar’s book opens your eyes to female behavior like few others do. You can see in the reviews on Amazon that the women, blue pillers, and manginas hate it, and the red pillers agree with it. Vilar had to move from Germany to Argentina because of the death threats. Along with MGTOW, Vilar explained a lot of behaviors that I previously thought were only the individual. That too is the benefit of MGTOW. It gives one a broader perspective.

If you have read Vilar, you don’t need to read Chinweizu and Shannon, as they basically verify what Vilar said.

I hope you will read some of the other books that I listed. If you have to narrow it down, the two that I would suggest first are de Mello’s The Way to Love, which should be the The Way to Reality, and the Beecher’s Beyond Success and Failure. You might have to wait awhile for prices on Amazon to come down for used copies for the Beechers. It is and was a highly sought after book.

Anyway, best of luck to you. You seem to have your head on straight and though you might make mistakes as we all do or have, at least you are not likely to make the worst one of getting into a debt trap and enslavement of marriage in our society.

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Badger wrote:

Yes, Vilar’s book opens your eyes to female behavior like few others do.

BlackVale wrote:

I have read it years ago. I have a hardback copy. It was one of the first RP books I read once I made the full transition to MGTOW.

I was still chasing Unicorns when I first read that book.

Even though I laughed and cried like a baby while reading it, I could only understand fifty percent of it the first time through. I was just awakening to Women’s Nature and my mind did not see most of what I was experiencing with women.

Later, I used that book like a field guide to help me see that all of my Unicorns were only pretending.
And that they were really Filthy Mules.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[GregB0Participant]

BlackVale wrote:

And it was the first time that I realized that I am not a victim and that my life and its direction was ultimately in my hands

And this was your rebirth. Welcome and we look forward to learning more about you via the forum.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Hello BlackVale:
Here is an excerpt from the second chapter of de Mello’s The Way to Love. It is because of his psychological insights similar to those of Vilar and not his religious proselytizing, why I recommend that you read him. He also mentions relationships and marriage at different points.

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question. them. Because of these false beliefs you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out, because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted, your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false.
Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person — fearless, free from insecurities, anxieties tensions, worries. You would be lucky if you found one in a hundred thousand. This should lead you to be suspicious of the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion. And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs.”

Anthony de Mello

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Welcome!

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

I’m glad for you and also at the same time a little envious of you. I can only imagine the grief I could have avoided had I red-pilled 25 years earlier than I did.

Hopefully you will learn what I learned, the hard way. Its much better to learn from other people’s mistakes.

The biggest mistake: not realizing the AWALT. (All Women Are Like That) and unicorns don’t exist.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Badger wrote:

Hello BlackVale:
Here is an excerpt from the second chapter of de Mello’s The Way to Love. It is because of his psychological insights similar to those of Vilar and not his religious proselytizing, why I recommend that you read him. He also mentions relationships and marriage at different points.

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question. them. Because of these false beliefs you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out, because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted, your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false.
Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person — fearless, free from insecurities, anxieties tensions, worries. You would be lucky if you found one in a hundred thousand. This should lead you to be suspicious of the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion. And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs.”

Anthony de Mello

This quote is exactly what I needed right now. I tend to feel bad because I can’t believe in the same dreams that others have and I am always an alien when dealing with others. I am also in a dangerous position because I have never made friends at all through life and feel like I lost out sometimes.

I’m sold on the book now. What you said really speaks to me and a lot of the insecurities that I have no because of my past. Thanks

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

The Manipulated Man wrote:

Badger wrote:

Yes, Vilar’s book opens your eyes to female behavior like few others do.

BlackVale wrote:

I have read it years ago. I have a hardback copy. It was one of the first RP books I read once I made the full transition to MGTOW.

I was still chasing Unicorns when I first read that book.

Even though I laughed and cried like a baby while reading it, I could only understand fifty percent of it the first time through. I was just awakening to Women’s Nature and my mind did not see most of what I was experiencing with women.

Later, I used that book like a field guide to help me see that all of my Unicorns were only pretending.
And that they were really Filthy Mules.

Thats the perfect way to put it. I’m reading this book again now lol.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Ranger One wrote:

I’m glad for you and also at the same time a little envious of you. I can only imagine the grief I could have avoided had I red-pilled 25 years earlier than I did.

Hopefully you will learn what I learned, the hard way. Its much better to learn from other people’s mistakes.

The biggest mistake: not realizing the AWALT. (All Women Are Like That) and unicorns don’t exist.

I am not in that great of a position. I feel as though all of my life up until now was a complete waste. Financially wise I am in the hole with all the student loans and other things I owe for. I’m trying to invest/save but I have no clue how to start. I started a really small savings account but I see that will quickly go nowhere. The only thing I have is time and my dreams and I haven’t a solid clue on how to best apply them.

I am doing things though, I am taking BJJ/Muay Thai like i’ve always wanted and shedding a bit of the belly I have. I’ve never been in shape and want to be in shape at least once before I die.

What is your story btw? Is it posted here?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

BlackVale wrote:

I apologize for how large this is and if its not great quality

Im frequently amazed that a man will write an intro – so impeccably – and STILL have the humility to append with . . . an “apology”.

It was TERRIFIC.
You deserve to know. And thank you for making it.

A big welcome to you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Keymaster wrote:

BlackVale wrote:

I apologize for how large this is and if its not great quality

Im frequently amazed that a man will write an intro – so impeccably – and STILL have the humility to append with . . . an “apology”.

It was TERRIFIC.
You deserve to know. And thank you for making it.

A big welcome to you.

Ha ha, thanks. I’ve always been very humble. I am not sure if it is a weakness or a strength. Seems more like a weakness to me, but I am working on changing it. I am a lot more assertive than I used to be in the past.

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Hello BlackVale

Basically, de Mello is saying what these MGTOW posts are saying: You are taught specific beliefs that society want you to have, not necessarily for your benefit, but for those who want to exploit you or use you for their gain. So he says you need to examine those beliefs and how they create desires not always to your advantage, which also leads to habits that are not to your advantage. de Mello has another book that is online, called Awareness that also has many psychological insights of value:

de Mello Awareness
http://arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf

You can skip the religious stuff if you are not interested. The Vatican castigated de Mello for deviating from Christian teachings. He was merely trying to find the best ideas for people, regardless of their religion.

[Author]

Posts