Do you ever feel like the people around you suck you dry?

[Anonymous 11]

Anonymous wrote:

I am an introvert. being with people is draining.

I am an extrovert and generally enjoy being with people. However, there are some who just turn me into a rag doll. I avoid them.

[GregB0Participant]

Maverick wrote:

I mean leaving you physically and/or mentally drained after interacting with them.

That is the nature of the beast in “service support” jobs. All you can do is find a way to decompress both at work and away from work. Many of my associated in ITS take walks around campus during the day to get away from the insanity. Others, including myself, become proactive by documenting the “easy” issues and the remedies for resolving them. We then post them on a Knowledge Base and direct people there. We do not answer the question but inform them to look at XXXXX first and we will help them afterwards as needed.

Subject Matter Experts have our own level of hell as be default clients will seek us to resolve those problems.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[MonkParticipant 16985]

Maverick wrote:

Is it just the people I’m hanging with or is this common these days?

There’s always been people like that, but I do think that they are far more common nowadays. Comes with the ‘me’ culture, I guess.

Always wanting you to do stuff for them, always offloading on you and expecting you to sort their s~~~ out. Some are draining just to be around.

If you allow it, these people will suck you dry. Heck, they can even kill you. I had to call time on these types a long time ago.

[Anonymous 11]

GregB0 wrote:

Subject Matter Experts have our own level of hell as be default clients will seek us to resolve those problems.

That’s why when I had my salaried corporate job they never respected my off call weeks. I was easier to just call C-Pig. I used to hallucinate my phone was ringing in the middle of the night. You’re right GregB0, but it’s not the people that drain me. It’s the constant use of my brain.

Then there was that time the corporate swine called me long after I was made redundant and fired looking for some free troubleshooting. I quoted my hourly rate doubled and told them to go figure it out on their own if they did not want to pay. That did feel kind of good.

NEVER TAKE A SALARIED JOB THAT HAS YOU ON CALL WITHOUT COMPENSATION FOR BEING ON CALL.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

It takes energy to keep your shields up.
A little more NFG might help.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 12]

Maverick wrote:

Morlock wrote:

I’m very introverted so it has happened a lot. At the moment we have a trainee at work who is more like a woman than a man. He just talks and talks, he also has no idea that he is the new guy and tries to stir people up etc. Trying to train him is just a waste of time and space.

I have a new co-worker just like that! He is a 20 something that thinks he knows everything. He is a very bright guy but all talk and no action. Very smart but very lazy. I have found myself covering for him on more than one occasion because he doesn’t seem to want to do anything unless someone is pushing him. I’m not paid to be a supervisor though. When the boss yells at this guy (in a cowardly e-mail rather than confronting him), he’ll include me or other co-workers so he doesn’t have to confront him directly. My boss and his boss are more concerned with organizing potlucks and nagging for the sake of nagging than they are in getting s~~~ done (and they are men).

That is similar to this guy. He is very c~~~y and thinks he knows it all and then asks questions when he doesn’t know. Then argues when he doesn’t like the answers. He can’t have it both ways and he will be a liability when he goes solo in our work place.

I have actually reported him as I don’t see it as my job to cover his arse or argue with him so that he learns the right way to do things. Also as I have trained him the most I don’t want them coming to me asking why he doesn’t know things.

We just got rid of someone who was very similar to him and I really don’t have the patience anymore.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Mr.Blue wrote:

I can totally relate OP. Ever since being around more people(including other men) their negativity starts to drain me but I look past it and continue on my path. If someone is talking to me about negative things I literally call them out for it or just walk away. I don’t have time or energy for that. However, if someone genuinely needs help or advice, I’m always willing to help others.

Same here, willing to help others, but I have found that there is such a thing as being too helpful. Some people see that as a sign of weakness and will take advantage of you. Don’t ask me how I know.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Fr Jack wrote:

My mother is like this, even a 5 minute phone call will leave me feeling drained, it’s always constant mind games. If you are not feeling depressed before speaking with her, then you certainly will be by the time you have finished.

My dad kinda like this. There are times he will bitch and complain about everything. By the time the phone call is over, then I get depressed.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Anonymous wrote:

I am an extrovert and generally enjoy being with people. However, there are some who just turn me into a rag doll. I avoid them.

That’s all you can do I guess: avoid them, ignore them, or call them out since there’s really no changing others. All three of these are feasible options outside the workplace. At work, it’s a little trickier to deal with.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

GregB0 wrote:

That is the nature of the beast in “service support” jobs. All you can do is find a way to decompress both at work and away from work.

I try not to think about work when I’m home. I’ll get the occasional call since we run 24/7 and we alternate on call duties (for no extra pay). That can make it difficult to fully decompress. Calls don’t happen that often but there is always that chance.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Monk wrote:

There’s always been people like that, but I do think that they are far more common nowadays. Comes with the ‘me’ culture, I guess.

Always wanting you to do stuff for them, always offloading on you and expecting you to sort their s~~~ out. Some are draining just to be around.

I have had to put some distance between myself and some relatives because of this.

Between work, commute, car maintenance, house maintenance, and other day to day chores, there really isn’t a whole lot of time to deal with other people’s bulls~~~. I don’t even have enough free time to spend much time doing what I enjoy. And then there are the people who make you feel guilty for trying to enjoy your free time.

Monk wrote:

If you allow it, these people will suck you dry. Heck, they can even kill you. I had to call time on these types a long time ago.

It makes me think of a former colleague that passed not too long ago. He was always running himself ragged for these types of people at work. He would work 12 or sometimes 16 hours a day. And for what?

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Anonymous wrote:

NEVER TAKE A SALARIED JOB THAT HAS YOU ON CALL WITHOUT COMPENSATION FOR BEING ON CALL.

That is where I am at now. It’s an on call rotation but we’re not compensated when we get called.

[MaverickParticipant 811]

FrostByte wrote:

It takes energy to keep your shields up.
A little more NFG might help.

NFG=?

[MaverickParticipant 811]

Anonymous wrote:

That is similar to this guy. He is very c~~~y and thinks he knows it all and then asks questions when he doesn’t know. Then argues when he doesn’t like the answers. He can’t have it both ways and he will be a liability when he goes solo in our work place.

I have actually reported him as I don’t see it as my job to cover his arse or argue with him so that he learns the right way to do things. Also as I have trained him the most I don’t want them coming to me asking why he doesn’t know things.

We just got rid of someone who was very similar to him and I really don’t have the patience anymore.

I try to steer clear of arguments and let them think what they want. There’s no changing anyone’s mind anyway especially when they are that stubborn. Does management pay you to be a trainer on top of your other job responsibilities? Isn’t it management’s job to train? Those are rhetorical questions so you don’t have to answer them. I’ve been there myself.

There are a lot of managers these days who are just plain not qualified for their jobs. They don’t like to train people, they don’t want to mentor others, aren’t willing to discipline employees, don’t want to inspire others, or even plan or keep things organized. They just show up, hang out, and collect a fat paycheck.

[MR_ROBOTParticipant 23]

NFG = No F~~~s Given

[ExecrationParticipant 1496]

Heres my bit of advice.

We all live and die alone. The most we can ever hope for is that some of the people we meet in this life make us feel understood which happens or Doesn’t .

The problem your expierincing is the result of people around you having no problem with their own behavior and really , how would they if no one says anything.you more so than them have an issue with it.

People who use other People, like the people you mentioned coined a phrase, Only the strong survive.They attach, take what they need and move on.Too delusional to ever accept they are only as good for making people miserable.

Its my opinion that people are interested in other people for very simple reasons.Someone(you) has something they dont, something they want or has the traits nescesarry to get it for them and they butter you up to make it happen or take advantage of your kindness. .

Life isnt much of a mystery when you arent emotionally involved.

Long story shot. People form opinions based on their expieriences.No ones told the people you know its not ok to use someone and i doubt their intelligent enough to realise it or too narcissistic to beilieve you anyway.

Truth be told were all a different type of f~~~ed up. There are no cool People.If you want a true friend love yourself, everyone else misses the train if your in the hot seat unless you count God in.

[ExecrationParticipant 1496]

And the real reason everthing all screwed up is because no ones innocent anymore.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3759]

Carnage wrote:

All the f~~~ing time, I deal with my s~~~ alone.

Why can’t everyone else do the same?

Because children always need help, whatever age they are.

Execration wrote:

Truth be told were all a different type of f~~~ed up. There are no cool People.If you want a true friend love yourself..

Very true. Others usually end up disappointing.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3759]

Maverick wrote:

I don’t even have enough free time to spend much time doing what I enjoy.

You have to make the time !

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

It’s not just the people, it’s the times. Things are so much s~~~tier than they were in the 90’s. It wears everyone down and the only thing most people know how to do is bitch about it. You need to find people that actually DO something about things rather than just bitch. Actions speak louder than words.

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